Metamorphosis: Monochrome to Technicolor | Praise Podcast

I've been MIA, and this episode lays out why. Tune in for a very different – and deeply emotional – episode than you've come to expect from me. Tune in!🎧

https://momo634.com/p/metamorphosis-monochrome-technicolor

#bible #inspiration #motivation #motivational #inspirational #MentalHealth #faith #anxiety #selfcare #depression #supplements #homeopathy #naturalremedies

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00:00:00 --> 00:00:04 Metamorphosis is usually a word we reserve for butterflies.

00:00:05 --> 00:00:10 The slow, hidden transformation that becomes visible only at the end.

00:00:11 --> 00:00:14 But I've been going through one too.

00:00:15 --> 00:00:19 Physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional.

00:00:20 --> 00:00:22 And I'm here to tell you the story.

00:00:23 --> 00:00:23 Tune in.

00:00:26 --> 00:00:26 Hello,

00:00:27 --> 00:00:29 and welcome to Momo 634,

00:00:29 --> 00:00:33 a bite-sized podcast that's chock-full of inspiration,

00:00:33 --> 00:00:34 motivation,

00:00:35 --> 00:00:36 and positivity,

00:00:36 --> 00:00:39 straight from the intersection of faith and mental wellness.

00:00:40 --> 00:00:43 Please like, share, and subscribe.

00:00:44 --> 00:00:48 Momo 634, motivational moments just for today.

00:00:58 --> 00:01:04 I've been MIA of late, and I feel I owe you the full story as to why.

00:01:06 --> 00:01:08 Not only will it explain my absence,

00:01:09 --> 00:01:14 but it honors the spirit of raw emotional processing I try to

00:01:14 --> 00:01:15 infuse in each

00:01:16 --> 00:01:16 episode here.

00:01:18 --> 00:01:21 as well as a motivational and inspirational podcast,

00:01:22 --> 00:01:27 I want to convey a message of transformational hope and simply

00:01:27 --> 00:01:29 the goodness of God.

00:01:31 --> 00:01:33 It's a little longer than usual.

00:01:33 --> 00:01:36 You are due a few additional episodes anyway.

00:01:37 --> 00:01:42 So I hope you'll bear with me in this incredible and emotional journey.

00:01:44 --> 00:01:45 In the episode,

00:01:45 --> 00:01:46 My Origin Story,

00:01:47 --> 00:01:51 I recounted aspects of my difficult childhood with undiagnosed

00:01:51 --> 00:01:53 anxiety and OCD.

00:01:54 --> 00:02:00 I'm on day 29 of a deeply intense and transformative journey

00:02:01 --> 00:02:02 that is pushing the

00:02:02 --> 00:02:07 boundaries of everything I have known and believed about myself,

00:02:08 --> 00:02:10 my mental health and neuroplasticity,

00:02:12 --> 00:02:15 and one that has deepened and strengthened my relationship with

00:02:16 --> 00:02:18 God and my dependence upon Him.

00:02:18 --> 00:02:27 I've been on a lifelong quest to understand why I am the way I am,

00:02:28 --> 00:02:32 because I've never known life without anxiety and OCD.

00:02:34 --> 00:02:39 A search to heal the hurts from the little me that was excluded

00:02:39 --> 00:02:40 from all the

00:02:40 --> 00:02:42 reindeer games the other kids played,

00:02:42 --> 00:02:43 much like Rudolph.

00:02:44 --> 00:02:44 And,

00:02:45 --> 00:02:46 to extend the metaphor,

00:02:46 --> 00:02:49 like the items on the island of misfit toys,

00:02:50 --> 00:02:53 why I was so deeply misunderstood.

00:02:55 --> 00:02:58 I couldn't figure out how to get people to understand what was

00:02:58 --> 00:03:00 in my head wasn't

00:03:00 --> 00:03:02 exactly what came out of my mouth,

00:03:02 --> 00:03:04 and vice versa,

00:03:04 --> 00:03:10 and how anxiety and OCD were the cruel taskmasters controlling

00:03:10 --> 00:03:11 me that I wouldn't

00:03:11 --> 00:03:13 know about for decades yet.

00:03:15 --> 00:03:19 Fragments of what I ultimately landed on have been coming out

00:03:19 --> 00:03:20 more and more this

00:03:20 --> 00:03:20 year,

00:03:21 --> 00:03:24 exploring these conditions that have marked me,

00:03:24 --> 00:03:26 as in the episode Knowledge is Power.

00:03:27 --> 00:03:31 Understanding the buzz and flooding sensations in my body,

00:03:31 --> 00:03:33 discussed in the episode on Somatic Memory.

00:03:35 --> 00:03:40 Discovering binaural beats and finally getting some rest.

00:03:41 --> 00:03:45 Gamifying what I was doing to create a mind map and log.

00:03:46 --> 00:03:50 And now the supplements discussed in several episodes,

00:03:51 --> 00:03:56 finally providing calm from anxiety and quieting my mind to

00:03:56 --> 00:03:58 such a degree that I'm

00:03:58 --> 00:04:02 seeing the emotional regulation I talked about in the episode

00:04:02 --> 00:04:03 on executive

00:04:03 --> 00:04:04 functioning deficits.

00:04:06 --> 00:04:07 My clothes are fitting better.

00:04:08 --> 00:04:13 The OCD scrupulosity discussed in a recent episode has markedly

00:04:13 --> 00:04:14 quieted down,

00:04:15 --> 00:04:17 as have the intrusive thoughts.

00:04:18 --> 00:04:20 A lot of the repetitive thoughts and behaviors,

00:04:21 --> 00:04:23 along with the reassurance checking,

00:04:23 --> 00:04:25 appear to be slowing down as well.

00:04:26 --> 00:04:30 I've gotten outside validation from a number of different

00:04:30 --> 00:04:32 interactions that the

00:04:32 --> 00:04:36 communication and emotional regulation I've been striving for

00:04:37 --> 00:04:38 is noticeable.

00:04:39 --> 00:04:43 The social anxiety has calmed down to the point that I'm not

00:04:43 --> 00:04:45 experiencing the cortisol flooding.

00:04:45 --> 00:04:47 The fight,

00:04:47 --> 00:04:47 flight,

00:04:48 --> 00:04:52 or freeze response doesn't seem to be constantly running in the

00:04:52 --> 00:04:52 background.

00:04:54 --> 00:04:55 In the recent episode,

00:04:56 --> 00:04:58 The Neuroscience of Self-Love,

00:04:58 --> 00:05:03 I stated that self-love doesn't come easily for me.

00:05:03 --> 00:05:09 In fact, I don't recall a time I have ever really liked myself.

00:05:10 --> 00:05:14 That if I met me, that I'd even want to be friends with me.

00:05:14 --> 00:05:21 I got emotional the other day because, for the first time in my life,

00:05:23 --> 00:05:27 I actually liked the person I saw myself becoming.

00:05:28 --> 00:05:30 No, I'm not cured.

00:05:30 --> 00:05:34 I don't believe I'll see that on this side of heaven.

00:05:35 --> 00:05:41 But experiencing life without OCD's constant monkey chatter is

00:05:41 --> 00:05:42 a gift and a

00:05:42 --> 00:05:46 blessing I didn't think I'd ever get to experience.

00:05:48 --> 00:05:51 I do still struggle a bit with rigidity of thought,

00:05:52 --> 00:05:55 and I definitely need a heads up when there's a transition looming,

00:05:56 --> 00:05:58 or many transitions.

00:05:59 --> 00:06:03 I still have difficulty navigating multiple changes at once,

00:06:03 --> 00:06:06 especially if I'm in the middle of something requiring my

00:06:07 --> 00:06:08 attention and focus.

00:06:09 --> 00:06:11 That all said,

00:06:11 --> 00:06:16 I've devoted a lot of time and energy to tweaking this protocol

00:06:16 --> 00:06:17 I've developed with

00:06:17 --> 00:06:18 the supplements.

00:06:20 --> 00:06:20 Additionally,

00:06:20 --> 00:06:26 I'm creating an incredibly detailed log of what I'm doing and

00:06:26 --> 00:06:27 the responses I'm

00:06:27 --> 00:06:27 seeing.

00:06:29 --> 00:06:33 All of this has taken a great deal of time and energy,

00:06:34 --> 00:06:37 in addition to the fact that I'm alternately dealing with the

00:06:37 --> 00:06:38 revenge bedtime

00:06:38 --> 00:06:39 procrastination

00:06:39 --> 00:06:41 that we discuss so often here,

00:06:42 --> 00:06:43 or I'm sleeping longer,

00:06:44 --> 00:06:47 almost unheard of since my teen years.

00:06:49 --> 00:06:52 So I'm prioritizing this period of time,

00:06:53 --> 00:06:55 which is also weird for me to get used to.

00:06:56 --> 00:06:57 Self-love,

00:06:58 --> 00:06:58 self-care,

00:06:59 --> 00:07:00 self-preservation,

00:07:01 --> 00:07:03 putting mental health above other things,

00:07:03 --> 00:07:06 these are all foreign concepts to me.

00:07:08 --> 00:07:13 However, I'm hoping to recalibrate some things and refine a few others.

00:07:14 --> 00:07:18 And when the final outcome of this experiment is known,

00:07:19 --> 00:07:21 on day 46,

00:07:21 --> 00:07:25 I'll have a better idea going forward of what things will look

00:07:25 --> 00:07:26 like for me.

00:07:27 --> 00:07:31 And, of course, I'll be processing a lot of that here with you.

00:07:33 --> 00:07:36 It's been like going to bed in monochrome Kansas.

00:07:37 --> 00:07:39 and waking up in Technicolor Oz.

00:07:41 --> 00:07:45 That's how different life looks through the lens of a regulated

00:07:46 --> 00:07:47 and quiet mind,

00:07:48 --> 00:07:50 and equally as foreign.

00:07:52 --> 00:07:57 As always, I'm thanking God and His vastly superior pharmacy.

00:07:58 --> 00:08:01 As I've said several times throughout this process,

00:08:01 --> 00:08:05 any additions like supplements should be made in concert with

00:08:05 --> 00:08:06 your clinicians.

00:08:07 --> 00:08:10 I'm really sharing this process as a journey,

00:08:11 --> 00:08:14 letting you know that there is hope,

00:08:15 --> 00:08:16 there is help,

00:08:17 --> 00:08:19 and there is healing.

00:08:21 --> 00:08:23 Tell me about a Kansas to Oz moment for you.

00:08:25 --> 00:08:26 Chime in below.

00:08:30 --> 00:08:31 Thanks for listening.

00:08:31 --> 00:08:34 To have episodes and or the daily Bible verse emailed,

00:08:35 --> 00:08:37 subscribe at momo634.com.

00:08:37 --> 00:08:41 To receive bonus perks and support this podcast,

00:08:42 --> 00:08:44 please become a premium Substack subscriber.

00:08:45 --> 00:08:45 Additionally,

00:08:46 --> 00:08:48 check out our line of devotional notebooks,

00:08:48 --> 00:08:49 inspirational wear,

00:08:50 --> 00:08:53 and faith-based gift items at the shop button at momo634.com.

00:08:53 --> 00:08:53 Have a blessed day.