The Sky is Falling and Other Lies

[00:00:00] This chicken little aha moment was brought to you by the letters O, C, and D. Tune in for more.

[00:00:11] Hello and welcome to MoMo 634, the daily podcast chock full of faith-filled inspiration and motivation.

[00:00:20] Please like, share, and subscribe. MoMo 634, Motivational Moments just for today.

[00:00:43] If you've followed this podcast for a while, you know that I suffer with OCD, which at its core is a neurological disorder characterized by a wonky fight-or-flight switch.

[00:00:56] In other words, my amygdala is broken. This means, in scientific terms, a state of hyperarousal, the fight-or-flight switch set perpetually to on.

[00:01:11] Emotionally, it means chronic worry just all the time.

[00:01:16] Physically, it means all senses are on the alert all the time, waiting for something bad to happen, so it's hard to relax.

[00:01:26] It is utterly exhausting. Mentally, it's challenging.

[00:01:33] I'm today years old and just figured out a very ugly truth that has embarrassed and haunted me all day.

[00:01:43] But for the sake of transparency, authenticity, and accountability, in my vulnerability, I'm deconstructing it here with you.

[00:01:55] I've mentioned that I'm a negative Nelly. In the episode, Pernicious Pessimism or Perky Positivity, I've stated no one has ever confused me with an optimist.

[00:02:08] However, I kind of saw it all play out today in slow motion.

[00:02:15] I was alerted to a need, one I believe I had already responded to and met.

[00:02:22] As outlined in a number of episodes on planning, calendaring, and time management, I tend to get things off my plate very, very quickly for fear, amygdala again, of forgetting.

[00:02:36] So when this conversation began, I noticed the uh-oh sensation kick in.

[00:02:44] I kind of got dug in because I felt like I had completed this task and it had been peer-reviewed and signed off on.

[00:02:52] I also felt, as the subject matter expert around the requirements for this project, that there was a gap in understanding between the two sides.

[00:03:03] After several texts were exchanged, we hopped on a call where everyone said how much they appreciated what I had done, but needed it done again because of a built-in expectation that I thought I had met, but they had additional feedback on.

[00:03:21] Though I still think something should have been said in the many drafts sent back and forth, eventually I saw where the misunderstanding occurred.

[00:03:30] And clearly it was just a misunderstanding.

[00:03:35] However, by that time I was in full fight-or-flight hyperarousal and noticed right after I hung up, I never really acknowledged the very nice things said to me.

[00:03:50] My brain was stuck on, get this off of my plate, fix this right now.

[00:03:57] And though I remember going through the motions of saying thank you, it lacked warmth and sincerity because my mind was stuck on,

[00:04:08] I gotta fix this or we'll all die!

[00:04:11] In an OCD-induced lie from the flaming pit of you-know-where.

[00:04:18] I did communicate my thanks, again, for the kind words, after redoing the whole thing.

[00:04:25] I did get it off of my plate first, so I could get back to my normal, wait-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop state, rather than,

[00:04:35] Chicken Little, the sky is falling mode.

[00:04:37] I did stop to pray when the first alert came in, and I felt myself tense up.

[00:04:43] But once I went full Chicken Little, it was like trying to talk to a toddler in full meltdown mode.

[00:04:51] Now that I've seen, with clarity, what my physiological and mental responses are,

[00:04:57] I'm trying to reverse-engineer it so I can build something God-centered for me to focus on in the midst of it all.

[00:05:07] In reading about the body's stress response, I know that I need to focus on breath work during the event.

[00:05:15] I've talked before about diaphragmatic or belly breathing.

[00:05:20] I've also mentioned having lavender nearby, but I did not use it.

[00:05:27] I'm running around like Chicken Little trying to just do the thing,

[00:05:31] so the increased sensation of panic will diminish.

[00:05:35] But I don't take advantage of the tools around me.

[00:05:40] Our meme for today says,

[00:05:42] When you think the sky is falling,

[00:05:45] Take time to look for the sun.

[00:05:48] S-O-N

[00:05:51] Moments of self-awareness and clarity provide opportunities for growth.

[00:05:57] Tell us about one you've had in the comments below.

[00:06:03] Thanks for listening to Momo 634.

[00:06:06] Motivational moments just for today.

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