Single Christian Women: Your Purpose Is Bigger Than Marriage

[00:00:14] Welcome to Hustle in Faith. This podcast is dedicated to helping women who want to analyze, apply, and amplify their God-given gifts. We accomplish this by discussing topics such as business, self-improvement, health and beauty, and my random thoughts about life from a Christian perspective. I'm your host, LaTosha Johnson. Have you ever looked at your life and thought, God, I thought I'd be farther along than this? Maybe you're single, maybe you're rebuilding, maybe life hasn't gone the way you planned.

[00:00:42] Let me remind you of a truth most people won't say out loud. Your life does not start when a relationship begins, your purpose doesn't wait on a ring, and your calling doesn't need permission from anyone but God. And that's exactly why I wrote How to Live an Extraordinary Life with or Without Mr. Right. This isn't another book telling you to sit still and wait. It's a roadmap for becoming the woman God created you to be.

[00:01:08] In your joy, in your purpose, in your gifts, in your confidence. Inside you're going to learn how to hear God's voice above the noise, build a life that excites you, break free from comparison and timelines, and walk boldly knowing you are already whole. You are not behind. You are not forgotten. You are becoming. Grab your copy today and let's build the extraordinary life God designed for you.

[00:01:35] First off, I just want to thank everyone that has supported the Hustle and Faith podcast. I truly do appreciate your support. And I want to let you know that I read every message, every email, every text message from my audio-only listeners and the folks that support me on YouTube.

[00:02:04] Again, truly, truly appreciative of all the support that I've received. And I want to let this one person know that their letter touched me in a way that I wanted to make sure that everyone was in a position to hear my response to their letter in the event that they were feeling the same way.

[00:02:28] And so I'm obviously not going to name the listener's name or anything like that, but it was a mother contacting me on behalf of her daughter. Her daughter was in her mid thirties. Her daughter's in her mid thirties and she, her daughter's single and child free and feels like God has forgotten her. And many of you know, I'm 44, single and child free, and I definitely do not feel that same way.

[00:02:56] And I feel like a lot of women in her daughter's position have been conditioned to feel that way. And I want to do my small part to make sure that they realize that God has not forgotten them. And you know what, let me just go ahead and read to you my response. Okay. So for those of you listening, check out the YouTube channel and, um, yeah, I'm just going to leave it at that.

[00:03:24] So I wanted to make this video as my response to not just to this woman's daughter, but to also any other woman who feels the same way. All right. So here we go. First, I want to remind you that there are many examples of single people in the Bible who lived extraordinary purpose-filled lives. In fact, I discussed several women in the Bible, their stories and the lessons and cautionary tales we can learn from them.

[00:03:53] And my book, how to live an extraordinary life with or without Mr. Right. Most importantly, look at Jesus. Jesus was single. He never married or had children. Yet he is the very person we are called to model our lives after. I'm certainly not against marriage, but we need to stop treating singleness as though it's a problem that needs to be solved.

[00:04:18] Marriage is not a requirement for living a meaningful, fulfilling, God-honoring life. Second, I would encourage your daughter to be very mindful of what she's consuming. You cannot constantly fill your mind with the world's messages and expect to have a godly perspective on your life.

[00:04:38] Social media, social media, television, and even certain Christian circles can create the illusion that marriage and children are the ultimate measures of a woman's happiness and success. But everything that glitters isn't gold. There are women who are in marriages and feel absolutely miserable.

[00:05:01] Some feel trapped in relationships because they're afraid, embarrassed, or financially unable to leave. Others stay because they fear what other people may think. And my point isn't that marriage is bad. It's that marriage does not automatically equal happiness, fulfillment, or peace. What we see on the outside often tells us very little about what's happening behind closed doors.

[00:05:30] Third, if your daughter has decided to follow Christ, she must become comfortable with the possibility that God's plan for her life may look very different from what she originally imagined. Marriage may not be part of God's plan for her right now. And that's not necessarily rejection. It could be protection. God sees what we can't see.

[00:05:58] He knows the people, the situations and circumstances that could derail our purpose. And sometimes the very thing we're begging God to give us is the thing he's trying to protect us from. And that doesn't mean that she'll never get married. But it does mean she needs to stop approaching marriage from a place of desperation. When someone constantly thinks, I have to get married, I have to get married, I have to find somebody.

[00:06:27] That mindset can create insecurity, neediness, and vulnerability. And the enemy would be more than happy to exploit those vulnerabilities by sending someone who looks like an answered prayer, but ultimately becomes a source of destruction. Sometimes we're so busy asking God to send us someone that we fail to recognize he's trying to develop something within us.

[00:06:54] You cannot expect two emotionally unhealthy people to automatically create a healthy marriage. Marriage doesn't automatically fix insecurity, loneliness, and a low self-esteem or a lack of purpose. Those are things we need to work on whether we're single or married, right? And here's what I believe your daughter needs to redirect her attention to.

[00:07:25] Away from finding a husband and toward discovering who God created her to be. I'm 44 years old. I've never been married and I don't have children. And I can tell you that I don't struggle with the same concerns that your daughter is experiencing. Why? Because I'm too busy pursuing the gifts, the assignments and opportunities that God has placed in my life. And my Hustle in Faith podcast is one example.

[00:07:52] Writing books, conducting workshops, encouraging women, and using my gifts to serve others are all a part of my purpose. I have things I'm passionate about. Goals I'm working toward. And a life I'm genuinely excited to live. And so quite frankly, I love my freedom. Okay? I love my freedom.

[00:08:14] I love being able to travel, explore new opportunities, make decisions, and enjoy my life without feeling that something or someone is missing. And that doesn't mean by any means that my life is perfect. It means that I've learned that my life doesn't have to look like someone else's to be extraordinary. I think that's something your daughter needs to discover for herself.

[00:08:39] And when she starts developing her relationship with God, understanding her identity, exploring her gifts, and pursuing her purpose, she'll become less concerned about what other people think of her or her relationship status. She'll also be in a much healthier position to recognize whether a potential relationship truly aligns with God's best for her.

[00:09:07] Unfortunately, many Christian women have been conditioned to believe that marriage is the ultimate prize. That somehow being chosen by a man validates their worth or confirms that they finally arrived. But marriage is not the prize. Jesus is. Jesus is the prize.

[00:09:30] Marriage could be a beautiful blessing, but it's not everyone's calling, nor is it the ultimate measure of a successful Christian life. We all have different assignments and no woman should feel that her life is incomplete simply because she doesn't have a husband or children. My encouragement to your daughter would be this. Stop putting your life on hold for a relationship that may or may not happen.

[00:09:57] Start living the life God has already given you. Get to know yourself. Get to know yourself. Work on your emotional and spiritual health. Discover your gifts. Pursue your calling. Build a life that you love. And if God brings someone into your life, let that person compliment the life you've already been living rather than become the reason you believe your life finally has value. I will absolutely be praying for both you and your daughter.

[00:10:27] And I would absolutely encourage you to read my book, How to Live an Extraordinary Life with or Without Mr. Right. Because I wrote it because I want women to understand that their value, identity and purpose are not determined by their relationship status. And if she'd like to discuss some of these ideas further, I'd be more than happy to have that conversation.

[00:10:54] Because at the end of the day, the goal isn't to become someone's wife. The goal is to become the woman God created you to be. And if marriage is a part of that journey, wonderful. And if it isn't, that doesn't make the journey any less extraordinary. And so I truly hope that my letter to this mother and her daughter resonates with other women as well.

[00:11:23] And I truly do mean that if, you know, I would love for this to be a broader conversation. I hope this resonates with you. And, you know, if it does, please be sure to share this with a friend. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoy listening to Hustle in Faith and would like to support the show,

[00:11:49] please consider sharing it with your friends, rate or leave a review, donate or make a purchase at our shop starring you crew. Remember, if you're everything to everyone, you risked being no one. You never know who you will inspire. See you in the next episode.