Ep. 277 How To Live Your Best Life In Your 40s

[00:00:13] Welcome to Hustle in Faith. This channel is dedicated to helping women who want to analyze, apply, and amplify their God-given gifts.

[00:00:20] We accomplish this by discussing business, self-improvement, health and beauty, and my random thoughts about life from a Christian perspective.

[00:00:27] I'm your host, LaTosha Johnson.

[00:00:31] Are you tired of feeling less than enough just because you're single?

[00:00:35] Then you'll love my new book, How To Live An Extraordinary Life With or Without.

[00:00:41] Mr. Right, a Christian woman's guide on how to survive and thrive on Single Avenue.

[00:00:47] It's time to acknowledge, address, and dismantle the harmful limited mindset many single Christian women have internalized.

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[00:01:05] I cannot wait to share this with all my single ladies.

[00:01:08] You have everything you need to live an extraordinary life with or without Mr. Right.

[00:01:21] Hey everyone, in this episode I'm going to be sharing some secrets that will help you not only survive but thrive in this truly amazing decade.

[00:01:30] So let's go ahead and get started.

[00:01:32] One of the main reasons why I wanted to create this episode is because I recently turned 42 last month and I've had some friends that recently turned 40.

[00:01:43] And we were having some discussions about things that we want to accomplish in the future, behavior we're no longer going to tolerate, lessons that we've learned, all that good stuff.

[00:01:54] And so it got me thinking, what are the top 10 lessons or behavior or however you want to view this list of things that I want to keep in mind during this decade?

[00:02:08] If it is my goal, which it is to not just survive, but to thrive in this decade.

[00:02:15] And so let me just go ahead and dive right in.

[00:02:19] All right.

[00:02:19] So number one, first and foremost is to put God first.

[00:02:23] And as a Christian, I have learned through the school of hard knocks how important it is to put God first.

[00:02:32] He is involved in all of my decision making process from this point forward in my life,

[00:02:37] especially because I know how difficult things have been for me when I wasn't intentionally putting him first.

[00:02:45] And quite frankly, I don't want to suffer any more of those consequences, right?

[00:02:51] Of what happens when you don't put him first.

[00:02:54] You know, I saw a lot of the things that I thought I wanted to accomplish without, you know, having God essentially tell me, yeah, that is what I want you to do.

[00:03:05] A lot of that stuff was just in vain.

[00:03:09] I didn't enjoy the things that I thought that I was going to enjoy because I did it apart from God.

[00:03:14] So lesson number one, put God first.

[00:03:18] Number two, be careful with what you consume.

[00:03:23] And we live in an age that is so amazing.

[00:03:26] We have all this technology.

[00:03:28] We have the ability to essentially get information that we desire just like that, right?

[00:03:36] And we have to be careful about that, too, because some of the information that's out there, well, not some, quite a bit of information out there is not the truth.

[00:03:47] It's not the truth.

[00:03:48] There are people out there that are intentionally wanting to mislead other folks.

[00:03:53] And I don't want to be one of those folks that are misled or unintentionally sharing information that is not true.

[00:04:01] So I am very, very careful with the type of information that I share.

[00:04:08] Folks that I hang out with, because if you are not like the Bible says of, you know, I try to keep my thoughts pure, you know, of good rapport, if you will.

[00:04:20] If you're not building folks up, you're not speaking life, you're not being positive.

[00:04:26] You're just all around kind of like, I don't want to be around someone that's constantly negative or folks that are not sharing the truth.

[00:04:38] So, again, being very careful with what you consume is important.

[00:04:44] Number three, remember that you reap what you sow.

[00:04:48] A lot of people out here are wanting A's on.

[00:04:54] Think of an exam.

[00:04:56] Okay.

[00:04:56] A lot of folks want to ace that exam, but they the way that they're studying for that exam is either not at all or they're studying so poorly that how in the world did you think that you were going to ace that exam and you haven't put forth any effort.

[00:05:11] Right.

[00:05:12] So I'm very, very, very intentional with the amount of effort that I put into things that are truly of value to me.

[00:05:19] So, you know, you reap what you sow.

[00:05:24] I do not expect to be rewarded if I have not put forth the effort in getting that particular blessing.

[00:05:31] Okay.

[00:05:32] But with that said, that is why I can do number four.

[00:05:37] There's nothing to fear but fear itself and that we have to have faith over fear.

[00:05:43] And the reason if we have faith over fear, we can expect freedom to be on the other side of that fear.

[00:05:50] So it has taken me a very long time to get to the point where I don't feel as fearful anymore.

[00:05:59] And yes, do I have my periods of where I do feel scared?

[00:06:02] Yes.

[00:06:03] But they don't linger as long as they used to.

[00:06:07] And that's because I know that in order to fight fear, I've got to go to the word of God, get my anchor verses, put my armor on.

[00:06:16] If you know what I'm talking about, the spiritual armor.

[00:06:18] And make sure that I'm ready to fight because I cannot continue to live in fear.

[00:06:25] My parents, my mom especially, is a fighter.

[00:06:28] She raised me to be a fighter.

[00:06:30] So if we continuously allow a lot of the chaos and destruction that you see in this world is because we have allowed fear to run rampant.

[00:06:43] Okay.

[00:06:44] A lot of us have the knowledge, have the knowledge to fight back, but we don't have the courage to do it with.

[00:06:51] And once you have that faith and realize that God is on your side, you're going to feel fearless.

[00:06:59] And that's going to give you the ability to experience the freedom that comes with having faith.

[00:07:05] And that's how you get rid of fear.

[00:07:08] Okay.

[00:07:09] And once you conquer that, I'm looking at my little list here.

[00:07:12] Once you conquer that, you're going to realize lesson number five.

[00:07:19] I don't have anything to prove.

[00:07:21] If you don't like me, that is cool.

[00:07:24] If you like me, that's cool.

[00:07:26] Either way it goes, I'm going to be the same person.

[00:07:29] So I realized that I don't have anything to prove to anyone.

[00:07:33] And I mean that from a personal perspective, you know, I don't have a ton of friends and that's okay because I'm all about quality, not quantity.

[00:07:43] Because as a kid, think about it.

[00:07:46] Everybody was friends as a kid, right?

[00:07:48] And we were using that term loosely, by the way.

[00:07:50] But as you grow older, you realize, uh-uh, I just need one or two folks.

[00:07:55] That's all I need.

[00:07:56] I want, give me quality any day.

[00:07:58] And from a professional perspective, I have nothing to prove either.

[00:08:03] My results speak for themselves.

[00:08:05] Like I will not continue to jump over hoop after hoop after hoop for folks that are constantly changing the goalposts, which is essentially why, you know, I'm a part of the corporate world.

[00:08:18] I work in the corporate world, but I am not of that world.

[00:08:21] And if you know, you know, right?

[00:08:23] Because I'm not about to sit up here and constantly achieve the results that you hired me to achieve.

[00:08:31] But then you want to reward me with additional work without the additional compensation or the titles to go along with it.

[00:08:38] Like my mom did not raise me to be Boo Boo Boo the Fool because I'm just not.

[00:08:43] So that is another thing.

[00:08:46] I don't have anything to prove.

[00:08:49] What you see is what you get, right?

[00:08:51] Number six, the word no has become my best friend.

[00:08:57] I cannot get over the fact that it has taken me so long to embrace that one tiny little word.

[00:09:04] But that one tiny little word has opened up so many doors for me because by my ability to say the word no has allowed God to bring so many things into my life that he wanted me to say yes to.

[00:09:19] But the only way I was in a position to say yes to those things is by saying no to the things that weren't meant to be in my life, the people who weren't meant to be in my life, the activities that folks wanted me to participate in that didn't align with my values.

[00:09:35] That by me being able to say no to those things really allowed God to open up all this space in my schedule for the things that he knew was going to take me to the next level if I so chose to do so by saying the word no.

[00:09:52] So many of us keep wondering, when's God going to do this?

[00:09:56] When's he going to do that?

[00:09:57] And he's sitting up here wondering, when is she going to say no to that person?

[00:10:01] When is she going to say no, I'm not going to do that particular activity because it doesn't align with my values?

[00:10:09] No, I'm not going to work overtime or attend this, you know, ridiculous happy hour, happy hour that has nothing to do with, you know, that has nothing to do with me being happy.

[00:10:27] Like it's just like I'm just not going to do it anymore.

[00:10:30] I'm not doing that.

[00:10:31] So the word no has become my best friend.

[00:10:34] And I know that that word will be yours as well once you figure it out too, because the ability to say no means that you're saying yes to creating healthy boundaries.

[00:10:45] And once you have those healthy boundaries, lesson number seven is going to automatically follow.

[00:10:52] I'm not waiting to do anything.

[00:10:55] So I know a lot of people that live their lives in anticipation.

[00:10:59] I can't wait to do X, Y, Z.

[00:11:02] I can't wait to retire.

[00:11:03] I can't wait to.

[00:11:04] And they say, I can't wait until, until, until.

[00:11:07] Like James in the Bible says, we are not promised tomorrow.

[00:11:12] Our lives are like a vapor.

[00:11:16] So I understand when people say, I can't wait until retirement.

[00:11:20] I can't wait until this or that.

[00:11:22] But are there steps right now that you can take that will get you closer to your goal of doing whatever it is that you wanted to do when you retire or whatever it is that you wanted to do when you said that word until?

[00:11:38] You know, I know people that are literally waiting to travel or go to certain places because, well, I wanted to save that for when I get married.

[00:11:51] And I'm not trying to be a downer in any way, shape or form.

[00:11:55] But let's say marriage is not in the cards for you.

[00:11:58] Does that mean that you're never going to go to that place just because you're by yourself?

[00:12:04] Like to me, that seems extremely silly.

[00:12:07] We came into this world by ourselves.

[00:12:09] We're going to leave that way.

[00:12:13] So I said all that to say this.

[00:12:15] Life is too short to wait on anything.

[00:12:18] OK, so if you have the ability to do something right now.

[00:12:24] Make the plans to do it right now because you you're not promised tomorrow.

[00:12:29] And something that really brings this further home for me is, like I said, I turned 42 last month.

[00:12:35] Next year, I'm going to turn 43.

[00:12:38] That is the exact same year that my dad passed away from colon cancer.

[00:12:44] And to the thought of even being the same age that he passed away is is wild to me, because it also reinforces the fact that I felt that it was young when he passed away.

[00:12:59] But to be that same age and still alive, you know, Lord willing.

[00:13:07] Is is just I don't know, it just reinforces even more so how finite our time on this earth is.

[00:13:13] And so that brings me to lesson number eight.

[00:13:17] Take up a hobby.

[00:13:18] Find something that you're passionate about and cultivate that gift that God has given you.

[00:13:25] Too many people are workaholics.

[00:13:27] And I'm not saying that you shouldn't work because, again, God did say if any man will not work, neither shall he eat.

[00:13:33] But some of us take that verse way too far.

[00:13:35] OK, he didn't want us to be workaholics.

[00:13:38] We need to have a balance in life and rest is extremely important.

[00:13:42] So I am all about making sure that I am investing in myself by learning different get by learning different activities, gifts that I know that God has given me.

[00:13:56] I'm doing my best to really cultivate those gifts in such a way that I can amplify them to further God's kingdom.

[00:14:04] And, you know, this podcast is a perfect example of that.

[00:14:08] I created this during the worst part of my life and because I didn't want my experiences to be in vain.

[00:14:13] And this passion project of mine has just multiplied so I can't even describe it.

[00:14:22] I've met I've met so many people.

[00:14:24] I've the connections that have been made because of this podcast has just been insane to me.

[00:14:30] And then it also spurred me on to other projects that I have the ability to partake of because I did this podcast, the voiceover work, my own company, the T-shirt shop that I've got.

[00:14:42] And there's some other creative projects that are in the works.

[00:14:45] And all of that stemmed because I took the time to come up with a hobby or pursue a passion, if you will.

[00:14:53] So I want you to do that same thing.

[00:14:55] And quite frankly, by me taking the time to invest in myself by doing this hobby, if you will.

[00:15:05] Some of my hobbies, like I just said, the voiceover, the podcast, all that stuff has enabled me to generate some side hustle income, which has allowed me to number nine, take time to travel.

[00:15:19] So it makes me so sad when I meet people that are too afraid to go outside their little town because, well, you know, I don't like I'm too afraid to fly on a plane.

[00:15:32] I'm too afraid to, you know, I don't know about this particular country or that country.

[00:15:37] Now, I'm not saying go out there and just be ignorant about what's going on in the world.

[00:15:42] I, yes, you need to be informed, but I can't live my life in fear.

[00:15:48] I have such an adventurous spirit.

[00:15:51] I really want to travel.

[00:15:53] Like when my bank account cooperates with me, I'm all about traveling.

[00:15:57] I like learning about new cultures, seeing how other people live and being in a position to share their story, which is one of my major goals that I want to do in the future is really.

[00:16:09] I love watching documentaries and I love being in a position to share people's story, stories with other people.

[00:16:16] So the way that I want to do that is to really get out there and travel.

[00:16:22] And I suggest that you do the same as well, because you'd be so surprised to realize the knowledge that you may possess may unlock.

[00:16:32] Maybe the key to unlock someone else's ability to achieve their dream.

[00:16:36] Right.

[00:16:37] They may need your knowledge so they can move further.

[00:16:44] And of course, God can work around anything.

[00:16:46] But I'm just saying, why not be that person to help someone else out?

[00:16:50] And when you're able to travel, you meet different people, you connect with folks.

[00:16:55] And it's just the knowledge that I have learned going to different countries and meeting folks in different areas is it's priceless.

[00:17:05] And I want you to have the ability to experience that as well.

[00:17:08] And last but not least, number 10.

[00:17:11] And this took me the longest time to really.

[00:17:15] To really take to heart.

[00:17:16] And that is to embrace life's detours.

[00:17:21] There have been so many times where I have wanted to go directly from A to B.

[00:17:27] But God had all of these steps in between for me to get from A to B.

[00:17:38] And a lot of those steps I did not want to take.

[00:17:41] Okay.

[00:17:41] And I was kicking and screaming the whole time, not realizing that I was just lengthening the time of me staying in that detour.

[00:17:48] Because I was going to learn that lesson no matter what.

[00:17:51] Right.

[00:17:53] But embracing the detours.

[00:17:54] Like I've gotten to the point now.

[00:17:58] Obviously, if it's not my way, it's God's way.

[00:18:00] Right.

[00:18:01] But what are the lessons that he's trying to teach me?

[00:18:05] I've always been in such a hurry to get from A to B.

[00:18:09] Just so I could say that I finally arrived at B.

[00:18:13] But what did I learn along the way?

[00:18:16] What did I learn along the way?

[00:18:18] And I realize how as I've gotten older, how much more it is important.

[00:18:24] For us to actually live in the moment and enjoy the journey that we're on to get to our destination.

[00:18:31] That is equally as important as actually arriving at the destination.

[00:18:36] Right.

[00:18:37] So these are the top 10 secrets, lessons, whatever you want to call it, that I have learned.

[00:18:47] And quite frankly, have enabled me to be in a position to truly enjoy this decade.

[00:18:54] So for the folks out there that are in their 40s, I would love to learn from you.

[00:19:00] What is it that you enjoy most about being in this decade?

[00:19:04] What are some secrets, tips, tricks that you can share with the rest of the class that will enable us to also enjoy this decade as well?

[00:19:19] Thanks so much for listening to this episode.

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