9 Traits to Cultivate a Fruitful Marriage: Joy

[00:00:00] If you're allowing the whole spirit to work in your marriage, to build that love,

[00:00:06] to build that joy that's not just happiness but it's joy for what's going to be

[00:00:11] when you're in your 50s.

[00:00:13] Right.

[00:00:14] You know, that's to me, what are the beautiful things of marriage?

[00:00:17] It is.

[00:00:18] It's that thing of going, I can't see what tomorrow is going to bring.

[00:00:24] But I know that there's a promise there from the father and the father is always

[00:00:28] faithful to fulfill his promises.

[00:00:31] So welcome back to the Trim The Wick podcast.

[00:00:34] Hi, Becky, how you doing?

[00:00:36] Hey, Dan, it's good to be here.

[00:00:37] Oh, I'm a beautiful day.

[00:00:38] It has been a beautiful day.

[00:00:39] We've had a wonderful time out and about.

[00:00:43] And we are excited to be with you now and talk about marriage and talk about the nine

[00:00:50] traits to cultivate a fruitful marriage.

[00:00:54] I said it on the first time this time.

[00:00:57] Good job.

[00:00:58] And we've been married for over 33 years and in that time, we've gone through a lot.

[00:01:06] We have.

[00:01:07] We first got married.

[00:01:08] We were teenagers right out of high school.

[00:01:10] I'm not directly out of high school because we went through some stuff before we even

[00:01:14] got married.

[00:01:15] Well, yeah, we did.

[00:01:17] We went through, I joined the service.

[00:01:20] I'm a year older than Becky.

[00:01:22] So I joined the service right out of high school and went off into the service.

[00:01:28] And then Becky still had another year of school left.

[00:01:31] And right about that time, Operation Desert Shield and Desert Storm kicked off?

[00:01:36] Yeah, it's kind of been an opportune time.

[00:01:39] You know, we were kind of like getting ready to get married and start off and run.

[00:01:44] And our new happy married life.

[00:01:47] And yeah, and there just happened to be a war that kind of got in the way.

[00:01:50] Put some breaks on some things, didn't it?

[00:01:52] Yeah, so when we were going to get married, I was in another country.

[00:01:58] I was writing letters instead of writing our vowels and stuff.

[00:02:02] And you know what?

[00:02:03] That was a trying time but it was also a really good time.

[00:02:06] It was because we got to learn a lot about each other.

[00:02:10] And we also got to build a faith.

[00:02:13] Number one in our guide.

[00:02:15] Right.

[00:02:16] And we got to trust and to go, you know what?

[00:02:19] I can't do anything for that person.

[00:02:22] So I hand them over to you and allow you to take care of them.

[00:02:27] Yeah.

[00:02:28] And then we also built a trust for each other.

[00:02:30] We didn't.

[00:02:31] Then got back home and we got married.

[00:02:34] And right after we got married, we moved all the way across the country.

[00:02:37] And so here we were.

[00:02:39] You had never been out of the state of Florida to live.

[00:02:43] You know, I had been on vacations a few times.

[00:02:45] And now you're married and I whisk you away to the other side of the country.

[00:02:50] But it's okay because it was smooth sailing and easy peasy and we didn't have a single problem at all.

[00:02:55] Yeah, that's kind of not how we're living real life.

[00:02:59] You know, the photo album looks that way but that's not really how it looks in real life.

[00:03:03] Because we had some struggles right off the bat.

[00:03:06] Again, I was still in the service so we were dealing with all of that.

[00:03:10] We were also dealing with first time away.

[00:03:13] Right.

[00:03:14] And I got out of living at Mom and Dad and then I lived with Mom and Mom and Mom and Mom Army.

[00:03:20] Right.

[00:03:21] And now we were running an apartment.

[00:03:24] We were getting our own groceries.

[00:03:25] We were paying our own bills and.

[00:03:27] And when we started paying for you were in the field.

[00:03:30] Yeah.

[00:03:31] And so I was gone and left you in a strange place where they really didn't even speak English.

[00:03:37] Because we were in beautiful Fort Bliss, Texas and El Paso.

[00:03:41] Believe or not they speak better English on the.

[00:03:44] The war is Mexican side and they did on the English side.

[00:03:48] So that was a real challenge for you, wasn't it?

[00:03:51] It was.

[00:03:52] So yeah, there were some struggles but God's faithful and he set us in a good church out there.

[00:03:57] Yeah.

[00:03:58] People around us that supported us when we were separated and.

[00:04:01] Encourage just when we were together gave us more us and Joyce that kind of adopted us into their family.

[00:04:06] Yeah.

[00:04:07] And yeah.

[00:04:08] And testimonies of having a good church come around you, especially when you're first married.

[00:04:15] Yeah.

[00:04:16] And we did.

[00:04:17] We had a good church out there in El Paso.

[00:04:19] So after a year and a half of living in El Paso, we decided that we were going to get out of the military.

[00:04:25] Right.

[00:04:26] And go to college and everything else.

[00:04:29] And you know, the reason why we're sharing all this with you is because again,

[00:04:33] when you get married, it's not like it's just happiness all the time.

[00:04:38] Right.

[00:04:39] It's not that it's misery but it's also challenges and it's life right?

[00:04:45] It is life and you know this might be a good time to kind of review where we've been and what we're doing and kind of where we're leading guys on this little journey here.

[00:04:55] But you know last week we started off talking about marriage and talking about these traits, these nine traits that are found in Galatians.

[00:05:02] Right.

[00:05:03] First one was love and we spoke about that last week and the importance of love and how that love is not just the Twinkle in the eye.

[00:05:11] It's not just the, would get you excited but it is a choice and it is a sacrificial thing and it is a putting the other person above yourself and lifting them up and the second one.

[00:05:25] The second trait.

[00:05:26] The second trait.

[00:05:27] The yields fruit right?

[00:05:30] It is joy.

[00:05:32] Right.

[00:05:33] And again, this is where we're talking about how the whole experience, how God needs to be in the middle of your marriage that you can't do it alone.

[00:05:44] You can't just say I'm going to read this self-help books.

[00:05:48] I'm going to do my very best.

[00:05:51] It's not about that when you get married, you get married.

[00:05:55] It's the husband, the wife and God is in the middle of it and God needs to stay in the middle of it and that's where this trait is produced.

[00:06:04] Right.

[00:06:05] So what is that joy?

[00:06:06] What's the difference between joy and just being happy together?

[00:06:10] Right.

[00:06:11] Because a lot of people do think that when you get married it's just you're just going to be happy all the time that you've, you've married the person you love.

[00:06:19] You married your prince charming or your princess and it's you're just going to be happy all the time and that if you're not happy, you're doing it wrong.

[00:06:28] So what's the difference?

[00:06:30] Well, there's a huge difference because joy in having joy in your marriage is something that's more than just an emotional or a passing thing.

[00:06:42] So the definition of joy in the Bible is that your response to trouble is met with contentment and endurance and endurance.

[00:06:52] And it's something that is well beyond just being happy.

[00:06:58] You know, when we look at the scriptures we look at Paul explaining joy and he talks about in his suffering that there is great joy.

[00:07:07] Now, there's not joy in the suffering right?

[00:07:10] Like we're not taking pleasure in suffering right?

[00:07:14] Right.

[00:07:15] This is not fun.

[00:07:16] We're not taking pleasure.

[00:07:17] We're not taking joy in the suffering, but in the suffering we can still have joy.

[00:07:23] Right.

[00:07:24] Which doesn't mean we're always happy.

[00:07:26] So I'm hearing a theme here that God's definitions of words that we use are very different than our common definitions.

[00:07:34] Yeah, and I think that that is one of the things where the work of the enemy has really changed words.

[00:07:42] So when we say things we're saying something but we're meeting something totally different.

[00:07:47] Right.

[00:07:48] And when we hear these words say like in song or in reading of poetry and you know a lot of times it's not a biblical understanding of that word.

[00:08:01] So we're talking when we're talking about joy in the context of a marriage.

[00:08:06] We're talking about this beyond the emotion of happiness.

[00:08:11] We're talking about you can, it doesn't matter what the external circumstance is.

[00:08:17] You can find yourself in a place of contentment.

[00:08:21] You can find yourself in a place where you are able to see either the good in the situation or the good that might be.

[00:08:30] Or the good that might come of the situation.

[00:08:33] Right.

[00:08:34] Or even if you can't see it, you're able to endure the situation because of the hope that's in you.

[00:08:41] The scripture says that the joy of the Lord is your strength.

[00:08:45] Right.

[00:08:46] And that's again we talked about last week that the marriage is to be two complete people.

[00:08:52] Two people that are fully ined well with the Holy Spirit and if you've got that going on,

[00:08:57] you've got two people that are able to individually be joyful in the Lord.

[00:09:03] Right.

[00:09:04] And find their strength and then together they can prop each other up.

[00:09:08] Well, and again that is one of the best things of marriage is that husband and wife working together to build each other up.

[00:09:17] We've gone through some things and I know we were just talking about when we first got married,

[00:09:22] we dealt with some death and our family.

[00:09:26] We've had to deal with financial ruin and bankruptcy.

[00:09:30] Right.

[00:09:31] We had to deal with homelessness and all of those things, none of those things are fun.

[00:09:36] You know, none of those things I would sign up and say, you know, this is what I want to do on Saturday night because this is the fun thing to do.

[00:09:44] Right.

[00:09:45] That day that we spoke our vows to one another.

[00:09:47] That was not in the life plan that we had to make out together, right?

[00:09:51] But we trust each other and we could build up each other.

[00:09:56] We lift, we leaned on each other.

[00:09:58] Right.

[00:09:59] And then we had the joy of knowing that our marriage, this thing that you and I have, is greater than what we're going through.

[00:10:08] And there's something better that what we have and for the future than what we're going through.

[00:10:15] Right.

[00:10:16] That whole thing we're, you know, Paul is talking about how you endure for the joy to come.

[00:10:23] Right.

[00:10:24] And again, if we're believers in the marriage, we're following in the footsteps of Christ, right?

[00:10:30] And the scripture says that it was for the joy set before him that Jesus endured the cross.

[00:10:37] Well, what was that joy?

[00:10:38] That joy was the reconciliation of mankind with the father, that reclaiming of his bride.

[00:10:45] Right.

[00:10:46] And it's a similar joy that we have in an earthly marriage, right?

[00:10:51] It is fulfilling the purpose that the father has set before us.

[00:10:54] Right.

[00:10:55] We have that joy and throughout scripture, we see that there is a purpose that God has for marriage.

[00:11:01] And there's a purpose between the spouses themselves.

[00:11:05] There's a purpose for legacy and their children.

[00:11:08] There's a purpose for their gifts operating together in the community around them.

[00:11:14] There is purpose there.

[00:11:17] Right.

[00:11:18] And when we look at the joy in the fulfillment of that that is set before us, it gives us the ability to endure the rough times.

[00:11:29] Right.

[00:11:30] That I'm not just going to, I'm not going to blow all of that up.

[00:11:32] It's beautiful.

[00:11:33] Yes.

[00:11:34] It gives me something to hold on to.

[00:11:37] Yeah.

[00:11:38] I think this is one of the things that hurts my heart when I hear of young couples who've

[00:11:44] only been married for a short period of time when they get divorced or they separate because

[00:11:50] they're going through a hard time.

[00:11:52] And you want to just tell them, we all go through hard times.

[00:11:55] Right.

[00:11:56] We all go through struggles.

[00:11:57] We all go through these things.

[00:11:58] What you're basing your decision on is in the moment.

[00:12:02] Right.

[00:12:03] It's not the wholeness of the marriage because you can't see it.

[00:12:08] Right.

[00:12:09] There's no way to see what 10 years from now is going to be.

[00:12:13] Right.

[00:12:14] Well, and this is something that you and I keep saying to each other.

[00:12:18] We'll be out doing something.

[00:12:20] It's like, I'm so glad that I get to do this with you.

[00:12:24] Yes.

[00:12:25] We're 50 plus years old now.

[00:12:28] We started our relationship together back when we were 17 and 16.

[00:12:35] And 17 and 16 year old us had no idea what 50 year old us would be like.

[00:12:42] No.

[00:12:43] Or what we would like or dislike.

[00:12:45] But it's been so neat to see over the years how we have been melded together or melted together.

[00:12:55] But we've been...

[00:12:56] The fires got in hot and we melted.

[00:12:57] Yeah.

[00:12:58] We made us more one.

[00:12:59] Oh, you know, we've been blended together and things to where even now we do something that's new.

[00:13:08] I mean, we do new stuff all the time.

[00:13:11] And it's like this is so neat to get to experience this with you and get to see that and get to see your face and your expression.

[00:13:22] And then hear your comments of what you're seeing and experiencing.

[00:13:28] And, you know, I do.

[00:13:30] I want to sometimes talk to young married couples and just tell them and say, listen, don't base your marriage words out right now on what's going on right now.

[00:13:41] You need to look at the bigger picture.

[00:13:44] Look at what you're going to go through.

[00:13:47] Look at the things because if you're allowing the Holy Spirit to work in your marriage, to build that love, to build that joy, that's not just happiness.

[00:13:57] But it's joy for what's going to be when you're in your 50s.

[00:14:01] Right.

[00:14:02] You know, that's to me what are the beautiful things of marriage.

[00:14:05] It is.

[00:14:06] It's that thing of going, I can't see what tomorrow is going to bring.

[00:14:12] But I know that there's a promise there from the father and the father is always faithful to fulfill his promises.

[00:14:18] He has promised that our marriage has purpose in the long term.

[00:14:24] He has promised that us together brings something that's worthwhile and lasting.

[00:14:31] And I don't feel it right now because right now we're arguing or right now, neither one of us can figure out what to do with the kids.

[00:14:39] Or right now there's not enough finances to even pay the rent.

[00:14:44] Those are the moments that you need to get before the father and go, okay.

[00:14:49] I am feeling fear.

[00:14:52] I am feeling disappointment.

[00:14:54] I'm feeling anger.

[00:14:55] I'm having trouble.

[00:14:57] Give me your joy.

[00:14:59] Right.

[00:15:00] So that in the middle of this, even if this situation does not change immediately, I can be content.

[00:15:08] Remind me of your promises so that I can hang onto that, so that for the joy set before me, I can endure where I am now.

[00:15:18] I remember one very specific time that that served us well.

[00:15:22] We were living in a place that we did not want to live.

[00:15:25] We had tried three or four different ways to move out of that place to move forward into things that looked more attractive to us.

[00:15:35] And every single way we turned seemed blocked.

[00:15:39] And we sat down in our little shack of a room.

[00:15:43] And that point in North Florida.

[00:15:47] And we were in tears.

[00:15:49] And we sat down in our living room and we said,

[00:15:51] God, this is not working.

[00:15:53] We are not happy.

[00:15:54] This is not fun.

[00:15:55] I don't want to do this anymore.

[00:15:57] But you won't let us out so we surrender.

[00:16:01] Right.

[00:16:02] If you want us in this place serving this area, doing this stuff that we really are not enjoying at all,

[00:16:10] if you want us here for the rest of our lives will stay.

[00:16:14] And it was like a weight just lifted.

[00:16:18] And we could go, you know what?

[00:16:20] There are some good things here.

[00:16:22] There are some things to be content about.

[00:16:24] We have friends that are dear to us that are still friends in our lives.

[00:16:28] And we were 20 and 21 at that time.

[00:16:30] There were things that we were learning that we began to see in the moment.

[00:16:34] But we had been so discontent that we couldn't see those when we allowed joy to come in.

[00:16:41] We began seeing the lesson points for us.

[00:16:45] Right.

[00:16:46] And then what it was six months later,

[00:16:49] that it was like the Lord said,

[00:16:51] Okay, you have finally learned joy.

[00:16:55] You have learned to trust me enough to be joyful in the middle of the circumstance.

[00:16:59] Now you're ready to move forward.

[00:17:02] And he released us from that place and it was...

[00:17:05] It was a place we actually had a yard then, and next we had...

[00:17:09] We actually had some space and didn't have someone next door to us all the time on either side.

[00:17:15] Yeah.

[00:17:16] Yeah.

[00:17:17] And I think that's where a lot of young couples and even older couples,

[00:17:22] you get in the middle of it.

[00:17:24] You call it pride because that's usually what it is.

[00:17:27] You're just unwilling to stop and go, let's pray.

[00:17:31] Yeah.

[00:17:32] We need to pray about this.

[00:17:34] And it's not a pray to fix it.

[00:17:38] It's a...

[00:17:39] Okay, guys, we're handing it over to you.

[00:17:42] Right.

[00:17:43] And if this is where we're at, this is where we're at.

[00:17:46] You know, I can remember when we were in the RV

[00:17:51] and going through, you know, the horrible financial things that we were going through

[00:17:57] and we tried everything I tried.

[00:18:00] Job.

[00:18:01] We were working.

[00:18:02] I was working 80 hours a week and you got a job.

[00:18:07] And let's just paint a quick picture.

[00:18:10] You just kind of glossed over that when we were in the RV.

[00:18:12] Y'all we lived six people in a dog in an RV for three years.

[00:18:17] Yeah.

[00:18:18] And everything we tried.

[00:18:20] And we tried everything.

[00:18:22] And we finally threw our hands up.

[00:18:26] And we were like, okay, God, we can't do this anymore.

[00:18:29] We cannot do this anymore.

[00:18:31] We got to hand it to you.

[00:18:33] And we did.

[00:18:34] Amazing how God within less than a year changed everything.

[00:18:40] Yeah.

[00:18:41] I changed my job.

[00:18:43] Got a promotion.

[00:18:44] Got a raise.

[00:18:45] Well, my goodness.

[00:18:46] Within a year of that.

[00:18:48] Or yeah, we're a little more nearer that we were buying our own house.

[00:18:53] Right.

[00:18:54] So the circumstance has changed.

[00:18:55] Yeah.

[00:18:56] But sometimes we need to learn contentment in the circumstance so that we can see when the Lord is opening a door.

[00:19:03] Yep.

[00:19:04] And I think that's the trust part of it where you, we're at the point now, we're making decisions and life decisions

[00:19:12] and people go, you guys are crazy.

[00:19:15] But we're not crazy.

[00:19:17] We are doing this in joy.

[00:19:20] Right.

[00:19:21] We have joy in this.

[00:19:22] You know, we're going to launch off into something new.

[00:19:24] We're 50 plus years old and we're going to literally start a whole new venture at 50 plus.

[00:19:31] We have joy in that because we know what God's got for us.

[00:19:36] Right.

[00:19:37] We know what God does and we can trust him and we know each other.

[00:19:41] Right.

[00:19:42] And we know the strength in our marriage and we know how we can lean on each other one

[00:19:48] where we can scared.

[00:19:49] And that is the beauty of having a joyful marriage.

[00:19:53] Yes.

[00:19:54] That is the safety net, I guess if you want to call it that.

[00:19:58] But it's not even that.

[00:20:00] It's more like the support wire.

[00:20:02] It's more like the thing that actually holds you up because you're not falling.

[00:20:07] You're being held up by the joy.

[00:20:10] And we still face things.

[00:20:12] You know, we're facing stuff right now.

[00:20:14] But at no point is it destroying us or telling us that we should stop what we're doing

[00:20:20] or it's actually encouraging us because we know what the father has laid out before us.

[00:20:27] Right.

[00:20:28] And we know that just over that next turtle.

[00:20:30] Yeah.

[00:20:31] Is the next blessing.

[00:20:33] Right.

[00:20:34] But we were able to have endurance because there's that just that underpinning of joy in our lives

[00:20:42] that we know that the Lord is our strength.

[00:20:46] We know that we know who he is and we know who each other are in him.

[00:20:51] That joy becomes not only the strength of our lives, but it becomes the strength of the bond of our marriage.

[00:20:57] Yeah.

[00:20:58] And it's us closer and closer together.

[00:21:00] That when one is starting to do that spiral of discontent, we go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:21:05] This is the joy that set before us and door.

[00:21:09] Yep.

[00:21:10] Again, it's one of the most beautiful things in a marriage

[00:21:13] is to have that joy and to rejoice always even in the trouble, even in the heart of sometimes.

[00:21:19] And so I want to just quickly just talk right now directly to everyone, not like we're not talking to everyone.

[00:21:27] But we want to just say and encourage if you're going through some stuff and we know everyone goes through stuff.

[00:21:34] We know every marriage has high points, low points, desperation points, every family has it.

[00:21:41] And we just want to encourage you to get out of the moment.

[00:21:45] It's hard to get out of the moment but get out of the moment and just pray to God and hand it over to him and say,

[00:21:53] God, I can't do this. I can't fix this. I can't solve this.

[00:21:57] I know you're, I know I'm in the situation where I'm supposed to be the one to solve it.

[00:22:03] But I got nothing.

[00:22:05] And just hand it over to him, pray that God just takes it.

[00:22:11] You know, you hand it over and he takes it.

[00:22:14] And then be content in the moment.

[00:22:17] Be content with what's going on.

[00:22:19] And again, you're not going to like it.

[00:22:22] It's not a thing of liking it.

[00:22:24] It's not a thing of going, oh I'm enjoying this moment and I'm going to beat my back with a whip.

[00:22:31] So I'm all bloody.

[00:22:32] No, no, no, no, that's not at all what we're saying.

[00:22:35] But what we're saying is that you'll see that how God will give you joy through suffering.

[00:22:42] Right.

[00:22:43] God will give you joy through the hard times because he will place before you the prize.

[00:22:48] He will help you see what is actually out there.

[00:22:52] We knew, oh sorry.

[00:22:54] Go ahead.

[00:22:55] I was going to say, you know, there were a lot of times, especially in these last 10 years,

[00:22:59] 15 years when we were going through some really rough stuff, you know, we knew because of what God had done in the past with us.

[00:23:09] We knew how to trust him and to have joy even in the worst times because we knew.

[00:23:15] We didn't know exactly how we would be on this end and it's actually better.

[00:23:20] It could not have even imagined we would be doing it each other in the last several weeks.

[00:23:26] We keep looking at each other and going, wow, more than we could ever ask or think.

[00:23:32] Yeah.

[00:23:33] But it was a journey to get here.

[00:23:35] Right.

[00:23:36] And it'll probably be a journey forward.

[00:23:38] Yeah.

[00:23:39] But the joy of the Lord is our strength.

[00:23:41] Yep.

[00:23:42] And he's going to hold us together and he's going to hold us on that path.

[00:23:47] And he can do that for you.

[00:23:49] Yes, he can.

[00:23:50] So trust him, trust each other, pray together, husbands, pray with your wives, and...

[00:23:56] And begin a concerted, deliberate discipline.

[00:24:00] You can choose.

[00:24:01] We've taught our children from a very young age.

[00:24:03] You have the ability to choose.

[00:24:05] Yep.

[00:24:06] You can choose to be angry and restless and striving against your situation.

[00:24:11] And you might have every right to be.

[00:24:13] You might.

[00:24:14] But you can also choose to surrender that situation to the father and choose to ask for his joy in it.

[00:24:21] So we encourage you to choose joy.

[00:24:24] It's available to you in the spirit.

[00:24:26] Amen.

[00:24:27] So, in our nine traits, the first one was love.

[00:24:32] Second one.

[00:24:33] Second one was joy.

[00:24:34] You might know what the third one is.

[00:24:37] But we'll talk about that next week.

[00:24:39] Ten Galatians, if you want to go do some homework.

[00:24:41] Yeah, it's right there.

[00:24:43] It's just laid out for you.

[00:24:45] We want to thank you so much for joining us again this week.

[00:24:48] And it means a lot to us.

[00:24:50] If you have any questions or any comments, please write them down and send them to us.

[00:24:56] So we can see them.

[00:24:57] And if you have questions, please send them to us.

[00:25:00] And we would love to answer them in the podcast.

[00:25:04] And if it's some of a personal nature, we'll obviously reach out and DM you directly.

[00:25:10] But if it's something that no question is a dumb question, we'd love to answer that out in the podcast.

[00:25:17] We would.

[00:25:18] And sometimes you find yourself in a place where, okay, I understand the theory but what is the practicality of it look like in my situation.

[00:25:25] We would love to talk to you.

[00:25:27] Yes.

[00:25:28] Also, if you would like to have prayer or encouragement, write us as well.

[00:25:33] We would love to pray with you.

[00:25:35] One of the things that is very important to us as Becky and I are doing this is we want to build a community.

[00:25:41] Right.

[00:25:42] And we do that through our locals.

[00:25:45] And but also if you just email us, you can email me at Dan at Matthew257.com.

[00:25:54] That's Dan at Matthew257.com.

[00:25:58] And you can email me directly.

[00:26:00] And if you need prayer, we'd love to pray for you.

[00:26:03] We'd love to encourage you and help you out anyway we can.

[00:26:08] Well, that's it for this week.

[00:26:11] And we will be back next week with the third trait of nine.

[00:26:17] We'll see you next week.

[00:26:18] Okay.

[00:26:19] Love you, bye.