9 Traits to Cultivate a Fruitful Marriage: Goodness

[00:00:02] Hello and welcome again to the Trim the Wick podcast. I'm Dan and I'm Becky and we are back with you again this week

[00:00:10] And we're excited to be back

[00:00:12] It's been it's been a crazy time

[00:00:15] little bit and

[00:00:16] Talking about the nine traits to cultivate a fruitful marriage

[00:00:21] And we've been going through this list for a little while now and if you haven't heard the early ones

[00:00:27] You need to go back and listen to them

[00:00:29] You know because the first ones love

[00:00:33] Then joy joy peace

[00:00:36] patience

[00:00:37] Okay, and you need to go back and listen to those because all these things kind of build on themselves right we

[00:00:44] Talk about the idea of a marriage between a man and a woman and God in the middle of it

[00:00:50] Right and that that this idea of a man and a woman together

[00:00:55] Cannot just do it on their own. They can't just

[00:00:59] Will it to happen right but they need the Holy Spirit

[00:01:03] That God has sent to us to be a helper to be an encourager to be a comforter

[00:01:09] To also give us knowledge and give us gifts

[00:01:12] Right gives us the fruit of the Spirit which is when we're following and walking in him the things that

[00:01:19] Are produced in our life is this fruit of the Spirit, right? The things that we we all treasure and value and really want to be

[00:01:27] But can't just kind of make it happen in ourselves, right?

[00:01:31] We don't we don't have enough gumption in us to get there, but the Spirit in us allows us to become

[00:01:38] Those things that we want to be for each other right and Becky and I after 33 years of marriage

[00:01:45] We've realized that number one you got to have God in the middle of the marriage. Yes

[00:01:49] You you got to be focused on that you got to be focused on each other, right?

[00:01:54] marriage is hard work

[00:01:57] Yes, it is and you also have to allow the Spirit to

[00:02:03] move in your marriage and

[00:02:05] the fruits of

[00:02:07] The Spirit need to be displayed in your marriage and when you

[00:02:12] Allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life to work in your marriage. These are the things that

[00:02:19] Basically where the Holy Spirit steps in and helps a beautiful marriage and make a marriage

[00:02:25] That is just fulfilling a marriage that's loving a marriage that can go through trials and tribulations of life

[00:02:34] right

[00:02:35] Just like in your own life how the fruit of the Spirit and how the Spirit right helps you through and

[00:02:41] So that's kind of where we got the whole idea and the premise for this as we look back at our marriage and gone

[00:02:48] Okay, love was important here love. We needed to have joy even in the midst of trials

[00:02:55] We needed to have patience and we need to have peace in our home

[00:02:58] We need to have harmony that we're working together

[00:03:01] And so that's kind of where we came out with this idea and we are glad that you're with us

[00:03:08] So if you haven't listened to the first ones go back

[00:03:11] I want to encourage you to go back and listen to those as well this week

[00:03:15] We uh, well last week. Let's talk about last week

[00:03:20] last week we talked about kindness, right and

[00:03:24] talked about how

[00:03:26] the importance of kindness is not just grin and bearing it or

[00:03:32] Just saying sweet things, but there's a more in-depth thing of kindness

[00:03:37] That's right. We talked last week about how kindness is

[00:03:41] Is more than just being nice

[00:03:44] It's about showing restraint when when when I can

[00:03:50] rightly and

[00:03:52] Justifiably

[00:03:53] Make it make a demand of you

[00:03:57] Restraining that and waiting until you're ready to come and meet me in the place where we're both one on something

[00:04:05] Or even if you owe me something

[00:04:08] I don't make a demand on that debt

[00:04:11] I hold space much like the the father in the parable of the the prodigal

[00:04:18] Held space. Mm-hmm. You know he waited on his porch and said, you know what when he comes home

[00:04:25] I'm gonna be right here waiting and I'm gonna receive him

[00:04:28] And and I'm not gonna bludgeon him over the head with the things that he did wrong

[00:04:33] I'm gonna receive him back and rejoice that he's back together with me

[00:04:38] And we're gonna move on from here and you need that in a marriage

[00:04:42] You need that ability to go, you know what and there may have been some distance over something

[00:04:47] There may be something that I could make a demand of you on but I'm gonna wait right here and

[00:04:53] I'm not gonna pester you. I'm not gonna nag you. I'm not gonna

[00:04:58] Keep harping on what what I think you ought to be doing

[00:05:02] I'm gonna wait right here show restraint

[00:05:05] Love you and when you turn back to me and we're ready to go forward on the same page together

[00:05:12] Then we proceed and that that's right that kindness is a restraint

[00:05:17] Yeah, and the big thing that really jumped out as we were talking about that last week is that

[00:05:23] It's not a a just glossing over of wrongs, right?

[00:05:27] And it's not just a oh, we're just gonna move past that

[00:05:30] The idea is that the kindness that you show

[00:05:35] Allows the space or allows the time to resolve the issues, right?

[00:05:40] So to where there's actual repentance right turning back to one another right because that was the idea is that his loving kindness

[00:05:47] Brings us to repentance, right?

[00:05:49] so when we're showing loving kindness to each other it is always to

[00:05:56] Resolve the issue because as good as husbands and wives as we are, you know

[00:06:01] There are gonna be times when we're gonna make mistakes

[00:06:03] there's gonna mean what times when we're going to do selfish things to one another and

[00:06:08] And sometimes they're really big ones. Yeah, and and they causes a pretty big gulf between the two of you

[00:06:15] Yep, and so that kindness allows that time where

[00:06:21] Those things can be resolved right well the thing that I love about this because I believe the kindness

[00:06:29] Leads to goodness right again. It's that building block thing. Yes, because the good that we do I

[00:06:38] Believe is something that is birthed out of the kindness that we're being shown

[00:06:43] so that goodness that we do to one another and

[00:06:46] You know defining goodness as a selfless act

[00:06:49] So when you're showing me kindness

[00:06:52] It leads me to want to do a selfless act to you because you're allowing me

[00:06:59] To learn to grow to not you're not badgering me. You're not beating me down

[00:07:05] So that I am then I can be fully restored

[00:07:09] Right and in that it it spurs me on to want to do selfless acts for you and

[00:07:16] To show you kindness, right?

[00:07:18] And so in goodness in in this Galatians 5 passage that we've been going through

[00:07:25] The actual the Greek word that's used there is this sense of the way it's it's defined is an act of

[00:07:34] goodness

[00:07:36] Define goodness with itself, but an act of goodness or meeting a need

[00:07:43] Out of a place of moral uprightness so doing it

[00:07:49] Just because it's the right thing to do right just because I have seen something that would be of benefit to you

[00:07:57] I've seen either something

[00:07:59] That's lacking in you or something that would be an encouragement and a gift to you

[00:08:06] That would be for your betterment, but I'm not giving it to you

[00:08:13] Looking to get something for myself, right? It's not a manipulative

[00:08:18] Motivation it's a it's coming from a place of uprightness of righteousness, right which again

[00:08:26] We're not righteous in and of ourselves and it's where we need the spirit. Yes

[00:08:30] So looking at you and going I want to do good things for you

[00:08:37] Because

[00:08:39] It's good, right?

[00:08:41] yeah, and you know one of the the main definitions of

[00:08:45] Goodness is selflessness, right and it's an action that has no benefit to me, right?

[00:08:53] except for your being blessed

[00:08:57] You know or you're being uplifted or you're being encouraged or I'm getting no value out of it

[00:09:05] Except for just seeing you get something out of it, right?

[00:09:10] You know, I mean when we do good to one another

[00:09:13] It's that thing of just lifting you up

[00:09:16] Yeah

[00:09:17] I hear all the time and I've slipped and said these things or I've said just said these things

[00:09:23] You know, it's like oh hey, babe. I don't you know, I did the dishes for you

[00:09:27] Well, I didn't know it was your job to do all the dishes

[00:09:32] That shows that it wasn't goodness that I was doing it

[00:09:37] You know because I was placing something on you

[00:09:42] That wasn't yours, right and so in a way and then taking it off your plate

[00:09:47] I was too would notice that I'd be right, right

[00:09:49] So I was trying to get a benefit out of it, right? So you're going hey babe. Look what I did

[00:09:54] I did something for you and

[00:09:57] Said of just saying hey, I did this

[00:10:00] Because I saw a need in our home and I took care of it and that was a good thing to do

[00:10:05] Right

[00:10:05] It's kind of this thing of if if you're with your spouse and here's kind of a practical thing if everything you do

[00:10:13] In your home if you have to then tell your spouse. Did you see what I did?

[00:10:19] Yeah, it's a good way to check yourself, isn't it? You know hey, did you notice I did this or hey?

[00:10:25] Did you notice this?

[00:10:26] You know we do it in subtle ways, but we're trying to get something back out of that

[00:10:31] That's not completely out of a goodness heart. No, it's not you know

[00:10:36] A goodness heart is doing something and then just you did it right and letting it

[00:10:42] Be good and let it be good because you're doing a good thing, right?

[00:10:47] Prime example, we got two dogs and I know we're talking simple and practical here

[00:10:52] But that's where marriage lives right? Yeah, it lives in the simple and practical and they're mornings

[00:10:57] I know you have early clients and stuff. So for me, I just get up and I feed the dogs

[00:11:03] Dogs have to be fed right, you know, they're getting something out of it

[00:11:07] obviously there you know, but the dogs have to be fed every day, right and

[00:11:12] So just me just doing it and not going hey, babe

[00:11:16] Just want to let you know you don't have to worry about the dogs today. I took care of them, right?

[00:11:20] No, I'm getting something out of that

[00:11:23] but if I just do it and

[00:11:25] then

[00:11:26] 20 minutes later

[00:11:27] You're scrambling around getting your morning going and getting and then you're like oh my gosh

[00:11:31] The dogs need to be fed and I go oh, I already took care of it. You see the difference there, right now

[00:11:37] I just did something. I wasn't trying to get your approval. I

[00:11:42] Was just and yet you do you get my appreciation and you get my because

[00:11:48] You just did something good, right?

[00:11:51] Yeah, and there's there's tons of examples of those kinds of things

[00:11:56] Throughout our years together, right, you know and and the beauty of it is that it has been a two-way street in our home

[00:12:05] Hasn't always been perfect, but but it has been a two-way street and but it hasn't been a thing of

[00:12:13] Well, I expect it to be a two-way street

[00:12:16] It's it's not that thing of I'm doing these things out of the goodness of my heart

[00:12:20] And I'm not calling attention to them

[00:12:22] But I'm very actively sitting back and watching to see if you acknowledge me right because we can sometimes do that

[00:12:30] Sometimes we're not so overt about going. Hey, did you see I did this?

[00:12:35] Sometimes it's a much more subtle. I did the thing and I'm really hoping you notice that I did the thing, right?

[00:12:41] And if you don't notice

[00:12:43] And I do enough things and you don't notice them then I'm gonna get really resentful and

[00:12:49] I'm gonna go well

[00:12:51] Why should I do anything more good for you because you don't even notice it anyway, right?

[00:12:56] Then that reveals that I wasn't doing it

[00:13:00] Because it was good. This was not the fruit of the spirit goodness showing up in me. This was a

[00:13:08] Form of manipulation. This was me

[00:13:11] Trying to manipulate to get my needs for acknowledgement met my needs for validation met

[00:13:18] by doing something and

[00:13:20] Hoping you'd show up and notice it right and you know, and we're human

[00:13:25] We do desire to be noticed. We do desire to be acknowledged

[00:13:29] But that's not what this fruit of the spirit is in your marriage

[00:13:34] This fruit of the spirit is doing good and going you know what if he never notices it if she never notices it I

[00:13:42] Want her to still receive the benefit. I want him to still receive the benefit of what I'm putting out there, right?

[00:13:49] Because it's building on all of this other. It's because I love them

[00:13:54] It's because I'm being kind to them. It is

[00:13:57] God

[00:13:59] Loving your spouse and being good to your spouse through you

[00:14:03] And it's not about you. Yeah, the full weight of this are those moments

[00:14:11] When you're sitting in a park or you're sitting in a thing and you look over and you see that couple

[00:14:19] you know older couple whatever and

[00:14:22] You just look over it and you see how

[00:14:25] He does something for her or she'll do something for him and it's just it's just natural movement

[00:14:32] Right, and there's that man. They are so good together

[00:14:36] they're so because you just see how

[00:14:40] What they're doing that this love that has just blossomed over years and years and years and years

[00:14:47] That that goodness is just showing through them that you know, I know that we're sitting down

[00:14:53] So I need to move your walker, you know, right, you know

[00:14:55] And you and you see it and you look at it and you go wow that is just so good

[00:15:02] We need that now

[00:15:03] Right, you know, we don't need to wait till we're 70 years old sitting in the park feeding the pigeons to have that moment

[00:15:10] We need to have that moment now, right?

[00:15:14] And this is something where we can have that moment now

[00:15:18] You know where we're looking at a situation where we're always looking at our spouse and wanting to be good to them

[00:15:25] Right and asking because again, this is the fruit of the spirit

[00:15:30] So it's it's not a thing where you sit down and you plan out. Okay, there's 30 days in this calendar month

[00:15:36] Right and so on day one I'm gonna do this active service and day two

[00:15:39] I'm gonna do this active service

[00:15:41] Not that those kinds of

[00:15:43] Practices and disciplines are bad those can help you get into routines of paying attention and noticing

[00:15:50] But fruit just naturally grows, right? It's a natural outgrowth

[00:15:54] And so where this fruit has to start is you looking at your spouse and going okay father

[00:16:03] What is the good thing that you want to give them and how can I be part of that?

[00:16:09] Right, right. How can how can I let you reveal your goodness to my spouse through me?

[00:16:18] and

[00:16:19] that requires

[00:16:21] a place of

[00:16:23] Communication with the father yourself right allowing the spirit to work through you

[00:16:29] It requires you paying attention

[00:16:31] To your spouse and really watching them and going, you know, what where are those small things?

[00:16:38] Mm-hmm that are supports

[00:16:40] That are props that

[00:16:42] That uphold them through their day that encourage them through their day

[00:16:47] That let them know that they are seen and known and loved

[00:16:52] Right and that their needs are being met right because again this word here

[00:16:59] involves the meeting of needs with no expectation of

[00:17:05] Recompense right trying to think very practical on this of

[00:17:10] How do you show goodness?

[00:17:12] Yeah, and one of the things I think about is

[00:17:16] You know moments when either one of us is stressed

[00:17:20] Or either one of us is going through a moment and that just reach over

[00:17:25] and grabbing of a hand right or

[00:17:29] putting your hand on their shoulder or

[00:17:31] Just laying your hand on their back or whatever something touches huge

[00:17:36] And this thing of just a practical of going i'm here with you

[00:17:42] Right is a it doesn't have to be these massive things of

[00:17:47] Flowers or purchases or whatever, you know a lot of times. It's literally just i'm gonna sit down next to you

[00:17:54] I'm here with you. Yeah

[00:17:55] I'm here to meet that physical need of presence that you need

[00:17:59] And just to reach out and have that touch one of the other things I think of with with goodness and and doing a

[00:18:06] Good act in the spiritual world

[00:18:09] Is praying for your spouse?

[00:18:11] Yeah

[00:18:12] We get angry at our spouse. We talk to our spouse. We whatever but very rarely

[00:18:18] Do we intercede for our spouses?

[00:18:21] We struggle with that

[00:18:23] Because it's like well, I mean i'm already living without my they're already hearing me blah blah blah, you know

[00:18:28] And it's like no no no no no no pray for your spouse

[00:18:32] That the need they have or the struggle they're going through that god will bless them

[00:18:37] God will cover them god will you know anoint them god

[00:18:42] Pray for them right lift them up in prayer

[00:18:47] It's absolutely vital

[00:18:48] Yeah, and that's a thing that you never even mention

[00:18:52] To your spouse right, you know, it's not a thing there are sometimes those times when you reach over and you play

[00:18:58] You pray verbally out loud and because you want them to

[00:19:03] Know

[00:19:05] That they're uplifted in that way

[00:19:07] But yeah nine times out of ten

[00:19:09] It's a watching and seeing and interceding on their behalf

[00:19:14] Without them ever knowing yeah

[00:19:16] Yeah, and again no banner. No that you're not getting it. There is not a selfless

[00:19:22] There's not a selfish act in that right you're just being 100 selfless

[00:19:28] And just saying god

[00:19:30] holy spirit work

[00:19:32] In her life right and

[00:19:35] You know, that's a simple act of goodness

[00:19:37] It is so in in every realm that we're talking about the spiritual realm the physical realm the emotional realm the

[00:19:44] The area of touch the area of gifts the area of service

[00:19:49] Towards one another every single one of those things are great things to have in your marriage

[00:19:55] Yes, but not when you're using them

[00:19:59] To get something for yourself. It needs to always be

[00:20:03] From a place of I want to benefit you because it is good

[00:20:07] Yes, just because it is good

[00:20:10] and over time

[00:20:12] It builds this unity between the two of you

[00:20:15] Where because you're both actively watching and going okay father

[00:20:20] Where can I be good to them today? Right?

[00:20:23] You see so much in each other

[00:20:26] And it deepens the love and it deepens the oneness

[00:20:30] And it builds trust that you know what we are a team and you are on my side and you do

[00:20:36] Want good for me. You're not just looking to get something from me because

[00:20:41] You know, you hear that if you listen to

[00:20:44] any kind of

[00:20:45] societally popular

[00:20:47] marriage and family shows

[00:20:49] You hear that brought up a lot. Oh, well, you know, he just he just uses physical touch to get his needs met

[00:20:56] You know, it's not ever about me or or I mean, yeah, of course

[00:21:00] He's gonna go do the dishes

[00:21:02] But then you know, I better pay him back by doing

[00:21:05] You know

[00:21:06] Whatever it is that he's wanting to get out of it and and that works both ways

[00:21:09] You know, well, yeah, you know, I'll I'll mow the lawn for her but she's gonna expect something, you know

[00:21:16] There's always this sense of it's a manipulation

[00:21:21] Or it's a balancing game, right? I did this so you need to do that

[00:21:28] And there's always these scales being kept. Yeah

[00:21:32] That have to be balanced. That's not what this fruit of the spirit is about

[00:21:37] Right your marriage if it's going to be healthy and one you need to pitch the scales out the window

[00:21:44] And not be keeping records of what you did right and what you did wrong and what I did for you

[00:21:49] But you didn't reciprocate and that's not

[00:21:53] Marriage that's not oneness and that's not being good to each other

[00:21:57] You can call it what you want, but that is not being good to each other

[00:22:01] Yeah, it's one of the things I kind of hate when I hear a couple say

[00:22:05] You know that oh well he got a new golf club. So I got a new ring or

[00:22:10] Right, you know, she went out and got a new dress. So that means I can go out with the boys tonight

[00:22:15] Marriage is not transactional

[00:22:17] No, shouldn't be when it comes to this. Yeah, it is not transactional

[00:22:22] It is a thing where you need to come together

[00:22:26] And not keep records not keep these things in the balance because

[00:22:32] What's going to happen is

[00:22:35] Eventually

[00:22:37] You're only doing things for the benefits

[00:22:40] That come back to you. Yeah, there you go. So

[00:22:43] How many marriages nowadays?

[00:22:46] When the kids leave

[00:22:48] The marriages are breaking up

[00:22:50] Husband and wife separating after a kid's leave because they'll keep it together with the kids because they can

[00:22:56] Do this but what happens is that the marriage turns into a transactional thing

[00:23:01] You do this I do this you do this I do this and they realize when the kids leave

[00:23:06] And it's just the two of them

[00:23:08] The transactional thing is no longer important

[00:23:12] Because they're not getting enough

[00:23:15] Out of their transaction because

[00:23:17] You know when the kids were in play they were getting enough or they were hiding it

[00:23:21] But now that the kids or there was at least a common purpose. They kept them. Yeah

[00:23:25] And now that the kids are gone they go well, I don't want to deal with this transaction anymore

[00:23:31] You know, I don't want to do business with you anymore

[00:23:34] It's it's too exhausting now. It's played out

[00:23:37] And and I've gotten what I can get out of it. Yeah, you know

[00:23:40] And so if you're in that situation where your marriage

[00:23:45] Is transactional

[00:23:47] You do this so I can do this I do this so you can do this

[00:23:51] I'm

[00:23:51] Going to warn you you need to stop that. Yes. You need to reevaluate

[00:23:56] Why you're doing the things you're doing and are they are you doing things out of goodness

[00:24:01] For your spouse because if it's all transactional that's not going to last no

[00:24:07] Because eventually those balances will get one-sided. Yeah, eventually somebody starts doing more than the other

[00:24:13] You know one spouse does more than the other spouse or one spouse isn't able to

[00:24:19] fulfill

[00:24:20] Right the quote-unquote responsibility like they used to or don't want to anymore

[00:24:27] We get older tired of having that put on me. Oh, yeah

[00:24:31] Just tired of this. I mean, we've all heard these things over the years and and that's

[00:24:37] How these marriages and that's how marriages can break down and that's why this is so important

[00:24:43] That we focus on

[00:24:45] What it is we're actually doing in that we're actually

[00:24:48] Having this fruit of goodness to one another and we do things

[00:24:54] Because it's good

[00:24:55] Right that we're going to get you know a mark in our book so that we can cash in later

[00:25:01] Right and what you find the more you live that way the more you

[00:25:06] The more you walk by the spirit in this area and go okay spirit, where can I be good?

[00:25:13] To my spouse. What do you want to give my spouse today? The more you find

[00:25:19] That you don't need your spouse

[00:25:22] to reciprocate

[00:25:24] To have joy and pleasure in what you're doing

[00:25:27] It is a pleasure

[00:25:29] To do good it becomes a joy for you that thing that people are seeking after in these transactional

[00:25:36] relationships of if I give to you man, I'm I'm gonna really get my cup filled up

[00:25:40] I'm gonna you're gonna turn around and you're just gonna give me validation and affirmation and all of these things

[00:25:46] That that thing that they're waiting for the spirit has it at the ready

[00:25:51] Right if you allow him to pour through you

[00:25:54] Seeing good

[00:25:57] Established in your partner's life

[00:25:59] Becomes a pleasure to you right yeah, and again, you know the goal is a marriage that is going to last

[00:26:07] right and

[00:26:09] You want to have these things

[00:26:12] When you're newly married

[00:26:14] And you want to have them when you're in the middle with the kids and the struggle and the financials

[00:26:19] And you want to have them when you're older when the kids leave

[00:26:23] And you want to have them in your in your you know fall years

[00:26:28] You know because god designed marriage that it was supposed to go for your lifetime

[00:26:33] Right and I believe in this is that when you allow the holy spirit to work through you in your marriage

[00:26:41] It just keeps getting better and better and better like a fine wine

[00:26:46] It just keeps getting better and better and better

[00:26:49] In the point of you're sitting in a park in your 70s and

[00:26:53] Everyone around you would look at you and smiles and goes man. That's so good

[00:27:00] right, you know and

[00:27:02] Hopefully that's what we're trying to do in our life

[00:27:06] And that's what we're that's our goal

[00:27:08] That's our prayer for y'all's lives. Yeah because it's good when it's good. It is good when it's good

[00:27:14] We just want to encourage you, you know seek out goodness

[00:27:19] And allow that fruit to grow. Yep, and you will be amazed

[00:27:25] How exciting it is to show goodness to your spouse. Yeah, we want to just say

[00:27:32] Thank you for listening in and being with us this week

[00:27:35] We believe that goodness is one of those things because that's the practical

[00:27:40] Things of being together. It's the 5 a.m. Getting up and ironing a shirt for work, you know

[00:27:46] So that so that he doesn't have to it's that that's not because

[00:27:51] It's expected of a good little housewife. It's a way that you can serve one another

[00:27:57] And support one another and it's good. Yeah

[00:28:00] Yep

[00:28:01] So again, thank you so much for staying with us this week. We are almost done with our series

[00:28:07] We are we've actually got some pretty hard hitting ones in the next few weeks

[00:28:12] You're not going to want to miss. Hey, if you're listening to this and you're getting some benefit out of this

[00:28:18] Please let us know you can email me at dan

[00:28:22] at matthew257.com

[00:28:27] And if you're wondering what that is the matthew 257 that comes from our passage that we take for trim the wick

[00:28:34] Right

[00:28:35] It's matthew 257

[00:28:37] Where jesus is talking about the 10 versions

[00:28:40] And having their wicks prepared

[00:28:43] That's right for when the bridegroom comes

[00:28:46] And so that's where that matthew 257 comes from so

[00:28:50] If you want to learn more about what we do and who we are who becky and i are

[00:28:55] And in our work go to matthew 257.com

[00:29:00] Right

[00:29:00] And you can visit our website and see what we do there. We've got all kinds of different things there

[00:29:05] And also some opportunities for service if you want to

[00:29:09] Learn more about what we do around the world and partner with us

[00:29:13] We'd love to have you we would definitely love to have you

[00:29:16] One of the other things we want to mention to you is we have a community on locals.com

[00:29:22] And it is our trim the wick community

[00:29:25] And what locals.com and what this community is it's uh

[00:29:29] Because we have all of our stuff there from our podcast to videos to becky's blogs and articles that she writes

[00:29:37] And then some special things

[00:29:40] But you can participate as well

[00:29:43] You can write so other people can see you know what impact this is having on your life or just questions and

[00:29:50] Things that you're doing you can actually post on the message board there

[00:29:55] And other people can see the the beautiful thing about it is that it's one of those things that's kind of protected where

[00:30:04] We can be open about our beliefs

[00:30:08] and our faith

[00:30:10] The other thing is is that

[00:30:12] There is a subscription to join the community

[00:30:15] Which usually

[00:30:17] I'll say 99% keeps the trolls down if you are if you're in the the world of

[00:30:25] Media and stuff you know that there's people out there who just like to stir up trouble and to cause problems

[00:30:30] Well majority of the time they don't like to pay to cause problems. They just like to do it for free

[00:30:36] Also, we have control

[00:30:38] Over what can be posted and things like that

[00:30:41] So if it's someone who's just trying to stir trouble or cause a problem

[00:30:45] We can actually remove them and everything else

[00:30:48] It's a much safer place to interact with the community than in

[00:30:52] In youtube comments or facebook comments or anything like that

[00:30:55] It's it's a more protected more more safe place for us to to interact with one another right?

[00:31:00] So that's the trim the wick community on locals.com and we want to just encourage you

[00:31:06] To join us on that and also that supports us directly

[00:31:12] That is a a way if you want to if you're enjoying

[00:31:16] This podcast and you would like to support it financially

[00:31:20] That is a great way to do it. You can do it through our locals. I think that's all the housekeeping

[00:31:25] Yeah, I think that's all we got for you today again. Thank you so much

[00:31:29] Like subscribe let other people know that you're listening to this and forward it to them

[00:31:34] So that they can enjoy it as well and we look forward to seeing you again next week

[00:31:39] Absolutely be good to each other out there. Yep. We'll talk to you again next week. Okay. Love you. Bye