In this episode of The Man Up Club Presents podcast, host Celena Lena welcomes two special guests, Chrome and Mo, to discuss the vital topic of respect. They delve into personal anecdotes and explore whether respect is earned or commanded. The conversation also touches on the mission of The Man Up Club, a nonprofit organization aimed at mentoring young black males in Minneapolis. The guests share their insights on self-respect, how it is developed, and the importance of maintaining it in the face of life's challenges. They also address how to handle and rise above disrespect, offering valuable advice for anyone struggling in toxic environments. This episode is packed with real-life experiences and wisdom on building stronger connections through the power of respect.
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[00:00:00] What's up, y'all? Welcome to the Man Up Club Presents Podcast. Today we are going to talk about respect. Everybody demands it. People love it. You know what I'm saying? So I got two very special guests here. Chrome, say what's up.
[00:00:16] What's going on? What's going on? Back at you again.
[00:00:19] He's a Man Up Club member. He is 23 years old and he's out here rocking it. He's an artist. He's a go-getter. You know what I'm saying? He's a leader. And we got Mo. Mo, say what's up.
[00:00:33] What's up, y'all? What's up? What's up?
[00:00:34] And he's 28 years old. Tell the people a little bit about yourself and tell them how you got on this podcast.
[00:00:40] Well, well, well. I'm an artist. I'm a mobile detailer. I'm a health and fitness trainer. I'm a, what else? I just do a lot. But I got introduced by my homie Chrome.
[00:00:54] So he let me know about the Man Up Club and all of that and the good things that y'all do over there. And then now we're here.
[00:01:01] That's what's up. That's what's up. So we're going to talk about respect. But first, we got to let you guys know what is the Man Up Club.
[00:01:07] Okay. For those of you guys who are unaware, the Man Up Club is a nonprofit organization.
[00:01:11] It's a mentor leadership organization for young black males between the ages of 13 and 24.
[00:01:16] We are located in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Just got a brand new facility last November.
[00:01:21] Okay. So we're almost a year old in our facility, but we've been around since 2012.
[00:01:25] And we exist to teach young men life skills, social skills, academic discipline, and civic responsibility.
[00:01:31] I am the youth and program director for the Man Up Club. And also I'm known as Selena Lina, a.k.a.
[00:01:38] sis of Sis and Lil Bro. Okay. Today I'm your host.
[00:01:41] Okay. So we're going to get into respect. You know, we're talking about the power of respect and building stronger connections.
[00:01:50] So let me just kick it off with a good question. So actually, pause, pause, pause. Before I kick it off with that question, let me give you guys the Google definition of respect.
[00:02:01] Okay. So respect is a feeling of admiration or high regard for someone or something or the actions that demonstrate that feeling.
[00:02:12] It can also mean to show consideration for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.
[00:02:19] When it comes to respect, I'm going to ask you all this question.
[00:02:23] Is it something that you command from people or is it something that you earn?
[00:02:30] Go ahead.
[00:02:32] You want to take that on?
[00:02:33] Yeah. So for me, it's like both.
[00:02:35] So I just give respect and then I expect people to give me respect. You know what I mean? I ain't just out there like, yeah, you know, I need this and that.
[00:02:42] But like my order is going to let you know, like, you know, I respect you, you respect me. And then, you know, that's how that is.
[00:02:48] I like that you said both. And, you know, I can vouch for what you just said because, you know, I don't, I don't personally know you.
[00:02:57] But when you came into this studio, you know, you made sure to greet everybody in the room.
[00:03:02] You know, you said, hey, what's up? What's up? Dap everybody up. Look people in the eye, you know.
[00:03:07] And that's a sign of respect.
[00:03:09] For sure.
[00:03:09] And it's like, I don't have to know you to give you that respect because you had the respect to everybody in the room to acknowledge them, say what's up.
[00:03:18] And it's like, OK, he carries himself in a certain way. Like, that's what's up.
[00:03:22] Like, I'm going to say what's up to him, you know.
[00:03:25] So it's like, oh, you care enough to say what's up.
[00:03:27] So you value other people's presence. It's like, I'm a value your presence because that's what you put now.
[00:03:32] Right. What about you, Chrome? Do you do you believe that respect is something that you command from people or is it something that you earn?
[00:03:39] I mean, most definitely is just something that you should give somebody right out the back, especially if you don't know him.
[00:03:45] So for myself, I don't really don't I don't like give respect or anything.
[00:03:51] I don't really it's not something that you got to earn from me.
[00:03:53] It's just that's how you treat me. That's how you treat me.
[00:03:55] I'm going to just handle you how you handle me.
[00:03:57] Give you what you give me.
[00:04:00] Hold on a second. Yeah.
[00:04:01] Run that back again one more time for some people who's like, huh?
[00:04:06] I'm not going to give you respect or give you like give my elder respect.
[00:04:11] But it don't really matter to me if you give me respect or have to earn respect from me.
[00:04:17] It's just something that's automatic.
[00:04:19] Something that's automatic.
[00:04:21] You're saying it's something that's automatic, but it's not something that I really care about that you care about.
[00:04:28] Yeah.
[00:04:28] So you see respect is kind of like a go with the flow type of thing.
[00:04:33] Like if you have it, great. If you don't. OK.
[00:04:35] Right. Right.
[00:04:36] Right. That's that's that's really interesting because so do you believe that all people deserve respect?
[00:04:47] I don't know.
[00:04:49] I mean, if you want it, if you want to respect, you can label it like that.
[00:04:55] Respect your elders for sure.
[00:04:57] OK, you got to respect the old folks.
[00:04:59] You know what I mean? Because they paved the way for younger folks like us.
[00:05:03] But it's kind of like with disrespect.
[00:05:05] I don't really disrespect.
[00:05:07] You can disrespect me.
[00:05:08] I'm not going to call it disrespect.
[00:05:09] I just we can talk.
[00:05:13] Do you believe that you deserve respect from from everybody?
[00:05:17] No, really?
[00:05:20] Well, what you think about that?
[00:05:22] You know, everybody got their own opinion.
[00:05:25] What they say about that.
[00:05:26] But.
[00:05:28] You know, I understand where you're coming from.
[00:05:30] What do you understand?
[00:05:31] You know, just like.
[00:05:33] Some people don't be worth it or like, I don't know, it's hard to explain, you know, you can feel people's vibe or like, you know, some people just be like they don't respect you.
[00:05:43] So it's just like you better off just doing what you was doing from the jump.
[00:05:47] Right.
[00:05:47] Right.
[00:05:48] I feel that.
[00:05:49] Or just being you, you know, you ain't got to.
[00:05:52] You know, kiss nobody, but or none.
[00:05:54] But, you know, like.
[00:05:56] Yeah.
[00:05:57] Right.
[00:05:57] It's hard to explain.
[00:05:58] Yeah.
[00:05:59] You know.
[00:05:59] Yeah.
[00:05:59] I understand what you're saying.
[00:06:00] It's like, dude, if you whatever you we don't match energies like that, I treat you like this.
[00:06:06] You know, I feel you.
[00:06:08] You know, this is interesting.
[00:06:10] The topic of respect is interesting because on one side of the table, it's like there's people that believe everybody deserve respect.
[00:06:17] Like, you know, when they and when they say that they say that in a general sense of like, OK, well, you're a human being.
[00:06:23] You have thoughts, dreams, emotions, experiences that you've had, you know, that you because you exist, you deserve respect.
[00:06:32] You're a human being.
[00:06:33] Right.
[00:06:34] But then on the other side of the table, it's like, no, not everybody deserves respect because not everybody carries themselves in an upright way.
[00:06:42] It's like you got to earn respect if you out here.
[00:06:46] You know, like you said, like, let's just say you're somebody that's tripping old people or whatever.
[00:06:51] It's like on the street.
[00:06:54] If you're tripping old people on the street or, you know, just acting a fool, who do you really deserve respect?
[00:07:04] So do you guys believe that there's different types of respect?
[00:07:08] For sure.
[00:07:09] OK.
[00:07:09] For sure.
[00:07:10] If you had to give a name to it or describe the different types, what would you say?
[00:07:16] You could also use examples from your own life.
[00:07:19] I'd say respect and disrespect.
[00:07:21] So, you know, how that go, you know, you.
[00:07:24] Yeah.
[00:07:26] Really, you know, people respect you and then there's people who don't respect you and they throw little slick comments or do little stuff around you.
[00:07:32] And you like you already see how I'm coming or you just see how I'm moving and you steady want to pick at me or do little stuff that get me out of my element or like get me to react a certain way.
[00:07:45] So it's like you almost like disrespecting my character.
[00:07:49] Do you think that there's only two boxes?
[00:07:51] Like when it comes to people, I'm going to either put you in the respect category or the disrespect category, meaning that if you don't respect me, then you're disrespecting me.
[00:08:01] Are you agreeing with that?
[00:08:06] Like 50 50 kind of because you never know, though.
[00:08:09] People could be disrespecting you and not know it because they don't know you.
[00:08:13] You know what I mean?
[00:08:14] So they might not know exactly how you, you know, like certain people like you could you could be cracking jokes on somebody.
[00:08:20] But whole time they they taking it as in like you, you really talking about them, but they don't know that you just playing stuff like that.
[00:08:28] So they like, man, I do disrespect me whole time.
[00:08:30] You know what I'm saying?
[00:08:31] Until you really get to know somebody and you know, like, OK, this is where they boundaries is or this how far I can push with them or this, that and the third.
[00:08:38] So, you know, so just tread lightly, you know, but you if you if you talking to people, you can kind of feel that out kind of like, OK, you know, the more you get to know somebody.
[00:08:49] But, you know, and then also to like.
[00:08:52] Like, I like if if I disrespect somebody and I didn't know it, come tell me, come tell me, be like, oh, it ain't nothing to apologize.
[00:09:00] Right. And move forward from there.
[00:09:01] You know what I mean?
[00:09:02] Because, yeah, everybody human.
[00:09:04] I like that.
[00:09:05] I like that a lot because you're using wisdom.
[00:09:09] You know, you don't live.
[00:09:10] You can tell like you don't dealt with people, you know, different kinds of people just just from hearing you talk.
[00:09:16] Because it's like. Just because you're not respecting somebody, that doesn't mean that you're disrespecting, like you said, you know, what's disrespectful to you may be may not be disrespectful to somebody else, but it's about sometimes it's about knowing a person.
[00:09:31] And especially when it comes to relationships, romantic friendship wise, work wise, it's like.
[00:09:40] There's a certain way that I feel respected.
[00:09:44] I feel respected when you do this.
[00:09:46] You know, I'm saying.
[00:09:47] And vice versa.
[00:09:50] What do you think about what he just said, Chrome?
[00:09:53] Yeah, for sure.
[00:09:54] Relate to what he said.
[00:09:55] That happens a lot in the blue collar world.
[00:09:57] I was a welder for a little while and it's called shooting S word.
[00:10:02] And it's just if you got a little weenie, you're going to get hurt.
[00:10:07] But you got pretty tough skin.
[00:10:09] You'll understand where he's coming from that he's telling a joke.
[00:10:12] He's trying to bond with you.
[00:10:14] He's just shooting S word.
[00:10:17] So.
[00:10:19] It takes.
[00:10:21] There's a saying that's like, oh, it takes one to know one.
[00:10:24] I'm going to use that lightly.
[00:10:26] But I just blurt that out there because.
[00:10:30] This is a better thing.
[00:10:31] You know, you only know what you know because you are exposed to know it.
[00:10:38] Like what I'm saying is for you to be able to articulate this.
[00:10:43] Dynamic about respect of like, OK.
[00:10:46] You know, there are certain people that you have to learn how to respect them and you have to know what their boundaries are.
[00:10:52] It's like, you know that because of certain situations that have happened, you probably got corrected.
[00:10:58] You know, so talk about an experience where.
[00:11:03] That has happened to where it's like maybe you disrespected somebody and you didn't mean to or they disrespected you, but they didn't mean to.
[00:11:13] And you got clarity after.
[00:11:14] Can you think of a time where that's happened?
[00:11:16] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:11:17] With my cousin, actually.
[00:11:19] So like, you know, like I'll be me.
[00:11:22] And then like he, you know.
[00:11:25] Yeah.
[00:11:25] So I was doing I probably did some stuff and said some things or didn't follow through with my actions with him.
[00:11:33] And he got mad at me for that.
[00:11:34] And I'm like, oh, dang, you know what I'm saying?
[00:11:36] But yeah.
[00:11:37] And then we talked it out afterwards.
[00:11:39] He was like, oh, I just I just want you to, you know, let me know something or just, you know, apologize.
[00:11:44] That's it.
[00:11:45] That's what he said one day.
[00:11:46] He was like, yeah, well, I was just waiting for an apology.
[00:11:49] We went like a whole year without talking.
[00:11:51] Yeah, we went over some dumb stuff.
[00:11:53] I'm like, dang.
[00:11:54] And the whole time I was thinking like, man, you know, it was all still love.
[00:11:58] He told me afterwards, like when we got back cool, it was like, man, I ain't hate you.
[00:12:02] I would have seen you on the street and you just getting beat up.
[00:12:04] You know, I was still ran up and helped you out.
[00:12:07] So it was just he just wanted to apologize.
[00:12:09] It just wanted me to apologize.
[00:12:10] And then we move forward and it was all good.
[00:12:12] That's what's up.
[00:12:13] See, respect requires humility.
[00:12:16] Because to apologize, you got to be humble.
[00:12:18] You know, it requires self-awareness to to respect someone else.
[00:12:25] And if you did something wrong to them, you got to be like, hey, I I recognize I was I was wrong.
[00:12:30] It takes maturity to be respectful, you know, because a lot of the time, sometimes you have to respect somebody that's younger than you.
[00:12:37] I was definitely you know, sometimes you got to respect somebody that you don't see eye to eye with.
[00:12:43] I was definitely and that takes maturity to do that.
[00:12:46] But it also takes maturity to respect people across genders to.
[00:12:52] Man, man, respect a man, respect a woman and a woman respect a man.
[00:12:55] So we're going to have deeper into this.
[00:12:58] Disagree with feeling different about the statement of right off the bat, whether I know you or not.
[00:13:04] I'm going to respect you because you a black man, you a brother.
[00:13:09] What's what's your thoughts about that?
[00:13:10] You agree with that?
[00:13:11] Repeat the question one more time.
[00:13:12] Do you agree with the statement?
[00:13:14] Because you're a black man.
[00:13:16] I automatically respect you.
[00:13:19] Unless you prove me otherwise.
[00:13:22] No, I don't believe black people should get respect right off the bat, especially right now in these times.
[00:13:27] There's a lot of bad things going around the black name.
[00:13:31] You know, blacks are stealing.
[00:13:33] Blacks are robbing.
[00:13:35] And it's just.
[00:13:37] Okay, hold on.
[00:13:40] Okay.
[00:13:43] So hold on a second.
[00:13:45] Wait, wait, wait.
[00:13:45] Let me read.
[00:13:46] Okay.
[00:13:47] I've seen it firsthand.
[00:13:48] No, I know that.
[00:13:50] I know that.
[00:13:51] But it's.
[00:13:51] Oh, my God.
[00:13:53] We.
[00:13:53] Everybody's stealing, killing a robbing.
[00:13:55] But hold on a second.
[00:13:56] Pause.
[00:13:57] Let me be more specific, Chrome.
[00:14:01] You being a black man.
[00:14:05] If you see another black man.
[00:14:08] Same complexion as you.
[00:14:09] Let's just let's just put it in that context.
[00:14:12] And he walked down the street.
[00:14:14] Do you recognize him or like do you just have a certain respect?
[00:14:18] Respect for him that.
[00:14:22] You wouldn't have naturally walking down and you saw an Asian person or a white person just because based on the simple fact that, hey, that's another black man.
[00:14:33] No, I'm not.
[00:14:34] It's just tucking my wallet.
[00:14:38] If I see an Asian guy, I'm going to be worried.
[00:14:41] I'm going to be worried about him.
[00:14:44] And.
[00:14:44] Wait, wait, wait, wait.
[00:14:45] You said you're tucking your wallet, whether it's an Asian guy or a black guy or what?
[00:14:48] Yeah.
[00:14:49] But specifically those two, I'm tucking my wallet.
[00:14:51] I almost got killed by an Asian guy one time.
[00:14:54] And.
[00:14:55] You just never know what a black dude is going to do in a certain situation.
[00:14:59] You know, I mean, he could feel threatened by you and just beyond that that day and just want to get on.
[00:15:04] You know, it just happens a lot where I just have a lot of problems with blacks a lot.
[00:15:09] With me being a black myself.
[00:15:12] Hmm.
[00:15:12] Wow.
[00:15:13] Wow.
[00:15:15] And see, and that's a different perspective because.
[00:15:19] You see it as everybody's just an individual.
[00:15:21] I don't like the way you see people is like, I mean, you don't.
[00:15:26] It's not pertaining.
[00:15:27] You don't you don't have a specific thought process to.
[00:15:32] Oh, I'm a do this because you're black.
[00:15:34] It's like, no, like I got a while.
[00:15:36] I took this.
[00:15:37] You said this Asian man.
[00:15:38] Yeah.
[00:15:39] Tried to steal from you.
[00:15:40] No, I almost got killed.
[00:15:41] You almost got killed.
[00:15:42] Yeah.
[00:15:43] So really, it's just up to the individual.
[00:15:44] You don't have a certain lens.
[00:15:45] I mean, it's it's hit or miss with anybody.
[00:15:49] I mean, you can run into a really nice black guy.
[00:15:51] You run a nice run into a nice Asian dude.
[00:15:54] But the things that are going around in the media right now, people just have one set mindset of what a black is supposed to be.
[00:16:02] I mean, I work for the white man.
[00:16:06] He's just going to think I'm taking breaks every five minutes.
[00:16:09] You know what I mean?
[00:16:10] Or I'm not working at this specific time, but I am working.
[00:16:13] But they're watching you all the time.
[00:16:14] Like they watched me all the time, all the time.
[00:16:17] I could never slack with the white working for the white man.
[00:16:21] You know what I mean?
[00:16:23] Working with the black folks.
[00:16:24] It's kind of just more easy, laid back, go with the flow type thing.
[00:16:29] Working with Asians is kind of same thing as a white man.
[00:16:31] You know what I'm saying?
[00:16:32] They're always just on you.
[00:16:33] Just like that.
[00:16:34] But I haven't worked with a lot of Asians.
[00:16:36] So.
[00:16:38] I don't know.
[00:16:39] I got you.
[00:16:39] I got you.
[00:16:40] I got your perspective.
[00:16:41] Mo, what about you?
[00:16:42] Do you agree with the statement of.
[00:16:47] If you a black man, I got I got a certain level of respect for you unless you prove me otherwise.
[00:16:53] Oh.
[00:16:55] I don't know.
[00:16:56] It'd be going off energy because like you'll see you'll see.
[00:16:59] But then again, I can't you know, you'll it'd be crazy because you'll see somebody that you look be like, oh, he on BS.
[00:17:05] And then you meet him.
[00:17:06] You like, oh, he cool.
[00:17:07] And then you meet a dude that you like.
[00:17:09] Oh, he look like a real stand up dude.
[00:17:11] Whole time.
[00:17:12] He on BS.
[00:17:13] So it's just like, I don't know.
[00:17:15] Like.
[00:17:16] Right.
[00:17:16] You got to read the play.
[00:17:18] Got to read the play.
[00:17:19] OK.
[00:17:19] OK.
[00:17:19] Figure them out right quick.
[00:17:21] Like, OK.
[00:17:21] You know, you can say hello or something.
[00:17:23] Hey, how you doing?
[00:17:24] Somebody say hi.
[00:17:25] You know what I mean?
[00:17:26] Little stuff, you know, like how they talk to you or how they treat you.
[00:17:30] You know what I mean?
[00:17:30] It could be something little.
[00:17:31] Like you hold the door for somebody.
[00:17:33] And then there's some people that you open the door for.
[00:17:35] They don't even hold the door for you.
[00:17:36] Not saying that's disrespect or whatnot.
[00:17:38] Or they deserve.
[00:17:39] But it's just little stuff that you pick up on.
[00:17:41] And you like, oh, this dude weird or something.
[00:17:44] Like, you know, he hold the door for dude.
[00:17:46] But he ain't hold.
[00:17:46] You know what I mean?
[00:17:47] Like they picking shoes or, you know, look at you like you.
[00:17:50] You something and then think that you, oh, he a thug or something.
[00:17:54] But the whole time, you the nicest dude ever.
[00:17:57] And they get to, you know.
[00:17:59] Y'all are, y'all, don't forget your thought.
[00:18:02] Let me just say something real quick.
[00:18:03] Y'all are blowing my mind right now.
[00:18:04] Don't forget your thought, Chrome.
[00:18:05] Y'all are just blowing my mind because here's the thing.
[00:18:10] I'm from the South.
[00:18:11] I like to consider myself from the South, OK?
[00:18:15] And it's debatable.
[00:18:16] I'm from Louisville, Kentucky.
[00:18:17] Some people say Kentucky's not South, but whatever.
[00:18:20] It's more South than here where we're at in Minnesota.
[00:18:25] But it's crazy because what I've been exposed to is if you a Black man,
[00:18:31] even if you're a Black female, like you're walking around,
[00:18:35] you see somebody else walking down the street, they Black too.
[00:18:38] In a place where there's a lot of white people, majority,
[00:18:43] even if there's a majority of other races, it doesn't have to be white.
[00:18:46] It could be other races.
[00:18:47] But my point is me moving from Kentucky to Minnesota,
[00:18:51] it's like now that I'm here in Minnesota, if I see a Black person,
[00:18:54] it's like, oh, you know, what's up?
[00:18:56] Hey, you know, it's just like I see you type thing.
[00:18:59] So y'all are, y'all two are blowing my mind when you're just saying like,
[00:19:04] oh, I don't really think about it like that because you're in Minnesota.
[00:19:07] So it's like you don't see another Black person now make you feel some type of way.
[00:19:11] No.
[00:19:12] Wow.
[00:19:13] Like, oh, do another Black.
[00:19:15] No, I'm not thinking like that.
[00:19:17] Well, yeah, I'm not trying to say that, oh, we should treat each other like Pokemon.
[00:19:21] You said, oh, yeah, another Black.
[00:19:22] I mean, bro, it's a good day if you say what's up to another Black person
[00:19:27] and they say what's up back to you.
[00:19:28] It's a good day.
[00:19:29] Most of the time that doesn't happen.
[00:19:31] A lot of Black people are reserved.
[00:19:33] I feel that.
[00:19:34] Okay, I see what you're saying.
[00:19:35] I see what you're saying.
[00:19:36] Do you remember what you was going to say?
[00:19:38] Yeah, I was just thinking about meeting Mo, you know, like when he first met me,
[00:19:44] he came out to me, you know what I mean, from Minneapolis, and I appreciated that.
[00:19:50] Also, he had another guy in the car with him, and it wasn't two people who came out.
[00:19:54] It was just him.
[00:19:55] We shook hands right on the street.
[00:19:57] You know what I mean?
[00:19:57] That's non-hostile.
[00:19:58] I was like, oh, okay, cool.
[00:20:00] We hopped in the car and we chopped it up.
[00:20:01] And just like you said, you know what I'm saying, just by appearance, I'm like,
[00:20:05] oh, you know what I'm saying, what's this guy getting into?
[00:20:07] But then we chop it up, we talk, and it's like these dudes are real down to earth.
[00:20:12] And these are the people who are actually, you know what I'm saying, what they say they are.
[00:20:16] They're stand-up dudes that are really about business.
[00:20:18] I appreciated that for sure.
[00:20:20] Oh, Hunter.
[00:20:21] Yeah.
[00:20:22] You know, I like the respect that you both have for each other because how long ago did y'all meet?
[00:20:29] Like a month ago, maybe?
[00:20:30] Yeah, I think so.
[00:20:31] About a month ago?
[00:20:32] Yeah, something like that.
[00:20:33] Yeah, and what I see from afar, just being a third party or an outsider, is that y'all haven't known each other in long,
[00:20:42] but it seems like y'all are just kind of like building off this respect factor, you know?
[00:20:47] So let's ask this question.
[00:20:49] What are some things?
[00:20:53] What earns your respect?
[00:20:54] What earns your respect?
[00:20:58] I mean, just for me, he's working.
[00:21:01] He's entrepreneurship.
[00:21:03] Just seeing the things that he's doing and the content that he's creating and the people that he's around.
[00:21:08] You can't do nothing but know he's about business and, all right, this guy knows what he's talking about.
[00:21:13] He knows what he's doing.
[00:21:14] We can, you know, I can give him that.
[00:21:16] What about you, Mo?
[00:21:17] For me, it's like your mindset.
[00:21:19] I see he got his head on straight, you know what I mean?
[00:21:21] Like, even though everybody ain't always where they want to be or just whatnot or they trying, you know what I mean?
[00:21:27] I can tell a lot about a person by their mindset.
[00:21:30] Oh, okay, we're going to chop it up a little bit.
[00:21:32] I'm going to see where your head's at.
[00:21:33] If you're in the streets or if you, you know what I'm saying, if you're trying to take a different path in life,
[00:21:38] I'm going to figure all that out and see that.
[00:21:40] Like, oh, okay, okay, I know how to come with you.
[00:21:43] Like, I know what the, okay, I know what you want when I get around you.
[00:21:45] I know what type of time we on, so.
[00:21:47] Since we're talking about respect and certain mindsets, because you both, it sounds like you guys respect,
[00:21:54] you respect people, especially, you know, other men for what they're doing with their life,
[00:22:01] their ambition, their mindset, right?
[00:22:06] So speaking about the mindset and what you believe about respecting other people,
[00:22:13] let me ask this.
[00:22:16] Do you respect somebody, and it's kind of a rhetorical question,
[00:22:20] but do you respect somebody who does what they say that they're going to do?
[00:22:25] Yeah.
[00:22:26] That's definitely.
[00:22:27] Okay, so let's just say that they don't do what they say that they're going to do.
[00:22:32] How many times does that have to happen for you to lose respect for that person?
[00:22:36] Is there a certain amount, or?
[00:22:41] When do you make the judgment of, you know what, this person is not who they say they are?
[00:22:45] I wouldn't say I'll just.
[00:22:47] Say it again.
[00:22:48] The question is, at what point do you determine?
[00:22:54] How can you tell that a person is someone who doesn't do what they say that they're going to do,
[00:22:59] therefore not deserving your respect?
[00:23:01] Okay, I wouldn't say, like, if I find that out they don't deserve my respect.
[00:23:06] It's just like, I just know how to handle you now.
[00:23:08] So I just know that if I come to you with something nine times a ten, you're probably going to drop the ball.
[00:23:13] So we might be best of friends.
[00:23:15] I might have family.
[00:23:17] Oh, yeah, I'm going to say I'm going to do this, and I got you on this.
[00:23:20] And when it comes down to it, they drop the ball.
[00:23:22] So it ain't like I'm going to just, you know what I mean?
[00:23:25] Like, I can keep that energy and not mess with you, but that's just like blocking your blessings.
[00:23:29] You don't want to have that on your heart, you know, because it ain't even that serious.
[00:23:32] You just stop messing with them in certain things.
[00:23:35] Like, that could be cool, but now when it comes, I always look at it like this, like,
[00:23:39] you could be my best friend, but if we doing business and you drop the ball on business, now you bad business.
[00:23:45] I like good business.
[00:23:46] So whoever I'm dealing with, it could be my best friend, my homie, whatever.
[00:23:49] You might be, we still cool, but when it comes to business, you bad business.
[00:23:55] I got a homie right now, he trying to do videos with me and whatnot, but I told him, like, man,
[00:23:59] the last video and all that, it just took forever.
[00:24:02] You just bad business.
[00:24:03] You had me waiting all this time.
[00:24:05] What's going on?
[00:24:05] You know what I mean?
[00:24:06] Running around stories.
[00:24:07] Now it's like, okay, I ain't going to never spend no money with you no more.
[00:24:12] I feel that.
[00:24:14] You just bad business now.
[00:24:15] Now it's like, I don't even trust.
[00:24:17] Mo, let's do something.
[00:24:18] I don't even trust what you got going on because you just bad business.
[00:24:21] Last experience I had, it just didn't work out.
[00:24:24] See, Mo, I respect the fact that you can be mature and recognize things.
[00:24:30] You know what I mean?
[00:24:31] Like, you could say, okay, so can you respect a person even though you can't rely on a person?
[00:24:37] For sure.
[00:24:38] For sure.
[00:24:39] For sure.
[00:24:40] You can.
[00:24:42] That's a word right there.
[00:24:43] Can't rely on you.
[00:24:44] But you got to learn.
[00:24:45] You got to know yourself with that one.
[00:24:48] You got to know yourself.
[00:24:49] Yeah, because it's all about like, okay, what are you willing to accept from this person?
[00:24:53] You know what I mean?
[00:24:55] You know what?
[00:24:56] We're going to dive deeper into that because let's get into self-respect.
[00:25:00] This is the Man Up Club Presents podcast.
[00:25:02] Welcome back to the Man Up Club Presents podcast.
[00:25:04] We're here with Chrome Man Up Club member and his friend Mo.
[00:25:08] You know?
[00:25:09] And we're talking about respect, getting really nitty gritty into it, understanding, you know, disrespect, boundaries, respect in relationships.
[00:25:18] And Mo brought up a really great aspect of respect because we can't have this conversation without talking about self-respect.
[00:25:28] Respect, okay?
[00:25:28] Most definitely.
[00:25:29] Yeah, like, I like what you said when you were talking about, you know, relating to other people.
[00:25:35] It's like, you have to first have respect for yourself.
[00:25:40] So talk about that.
[00:25:44] Obviously, you have respect for yourself.
[00:25:45] You know, I see it in the way that you carry yourself.
[00:25:48] But have you always respected yourself?
[00:25:51] Or is it something that you grew within your life?
[00:25:56] Nah, I actually grew into that for sure.
[00:25:59] Like, you know, just, yeah, I used to do a lot.
[00:26:03] They're like, you'll look back and be like, you ain't really respecting yourself.
[00:26:06] Whether it's the food you eating, whether it's how you carrying yourself, how you dress your clothes, like sagging, all type of that.
[00:26:13] What else?
[00:26:15] I had to over, pull your pants up, you know, pull your pants up.
[00:26:18] You know, it's a lot, you know.
[00:26:20] And then when you get older, you look, you like, damn, all that looks dumb.
[00:26:24] You know what I mean?
[00:26:24] Certain stuff.
[00:26:25] So it's just like, and then what else?
[00:26:30] Just like knowing yourself really.
[00:26:34] Yeah.
[00:26:35] But what you said is good though, because.
[00:26:37] Yeah.
[00:26:37] So you're saying you respect yourself or you show respect to yourself by the way that you present yourself.
[00:26:44] Yeah.
[00:26:44] Yeah.
[00:26:46] The way that you, what was that?
[00:26:48] You said, you know.
[00:26:49] Like the way that you carry yourself.
[00:26:51] Also to like your mindset.
[00:26:52] You know, you got to respect yourself.
[00:26:54] So like the set, the things you say you're going to do.
[00:26:58] Look in the mirror.
[00:26:59] You know, I look in the mirror day.
[00:27:00] I'm proud of who I am.
[00:27:01] You know, I can actually say that, you know, but it's a lot of people out here that, you know, is you cool with who you are in the mirror?
[00:27:07] Like you go home at night.
[00:27:09] Like, I want to be somebody else or, you know, they're not comfortable in their own skin.
[00:27:12] You get what I'm saying?
[00:27:13] So, yeah.
[00:27:14] That all comes with respect.
[00:27:16] You know, you give other people respect, but you don't respect yourself.
[00:27:18] So, you know.
[00:27:19] And also, also with what you were doing, you said that there's things that you used to do and just how you used to carry yourself.
[00:27:27] So, it's like compare to, compare that person to the mode that you are today.
[00:27:33] You know?
[00:27:34] So, thinking about that, what would you tell your younger self?
[00:27:40] Honestly, like for real, if you could duplicate yourself, but you're just the younger version.
[00:27:44] What age were you when you were doing a whole bunch of crazy stuff?
[00:27:50] Like 15 to, man, I ain't gonna lie.
[00:27:57] Like 14 to like 19.
[00:28:06] So, like just all of that, like I can just remember like all the stuff, disrespecting people, you know, talking crazy, like not respecting myself, you know, just doing the most.
[00:28:18] What would you tell yourself?
[00:28:21] Now, being the man that you are now today.
[00:28:26] Just keep trying to find yourself.
[00:28:29] You know, just don't give up, you know, because just like, just like I said, like I wouldn't stop messing with my older, my younger self.
[00:28:36] You know, I would just try and guide them.
[00:28:38] They're not guided.
[00:28:38] You know what I'm saying?
[00:28:39] They still ain't following themselves.
[00:28:41] So, when you, you know, you could be doing the worst.
[00:28:44] Like it's a lot of stuff.
[00:28:45] You could be a bad person.
[00:28:46] And then one day you find yourself.
[00:28:48] You just stop everything.
[00:28:49] You could be, you could be.
[00:28:52] Yeah, it's all about just like one day you wake up, you get tired of looking in the mirror.
[00:28:56] You're like, man, I'm tired of that person.
[00:28:57] I'm tired of doing the same things.
[00:28:59] I'm tired of going through these, all this BS.
[00:29:01] I'm tired of going to jail.
[00:29:03] I'm tired of being around people that don't got my best interest.
[00:29:06] I'm tired of all of that.
[00:29:07] Like, you know what I mean?
[00:29:07] I'm tired.
[00:29:08] I'm just tired of it.
[00:29:09] Like, how do I change that?
[00:29:10] You got to change yourself first.
[00:29:12] I definitely want to dive into how did you come to respect yourself.
[00:29:16] But what about you, Chrome?
[00:29:17] Have you always respected yourself?
[00:29:19] Nah, that's something I recently learned how to do.
[00:29:22] I never really did it.
[00:29:24] I never, just like you said, never respected myself by the way I eat, the way I dress, and
[00:29:34] the way I just move about the earth.
[00:29:36] It's just, I wasn't, I didn't have the same knowledge I had.
[00:29:41] And it just clicked.
[00:29:41] You just got tired of doing the same thing.
[00:29:43] Like, you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.
[00:29:46] That's really what happens, you know?
[00:29:47] And once you get to that point, or until you get to that point, I guess you're going to keep
[00:29:53] doing the same thing until you get it, understand.
[00:29:56] So, both of y'all have, both of y'all agree that it's taken your inner self, like, it's
[00:30:03] taken your own mind and your feelings and just you to want better for yourself.
[00:30:09] For sure.
[00:30:09] You came to a self-realization, like, I am done with this.
[00:30:13] Like, no, it's time to move different.
[00:30:15] For sure.
[00:30:16] But, and that's valid.
[00:30:18] And a lot of people have that same feeling.
[00:30:20] They have that wake up moment, you know?
[00:30:22] But also, I'm aware that some people find self-respect through other people telling them
[00:30:29] how much they're worth, too.
[00:30:31] So, I mean, would you say that it's definitely a mix of, like, you realizing that, hey, I
[00:30:37] got to start respecting myself.
[00:30:38] And also, have there been people in your life that have treated you worthy of respect, even
[00:30:44] though you wasn't acting like that?
[00:30:45] Most definitely.
[00:30:47] Who was that?
[00:30:48] My granny, my family, you know, like, certain people, like, my granny for sure, she a saint.
[00:30:55] I put her through hell.
[00:30:56] So, you know, and then the older I got, I just, I just knew, like, all that stuff wasn't
[00:31:00] right.
[00:31:01] And I just, I go, I go make it right.
[00:31:03] Like, even though I can't make it right, I just always be there for my granny.
[00:31:07] I'm always, you know, just, I'm a different person now.
[00:31:09] So, if she see me, she be so proud of me now.
[00:31:12] But, you know, back then I used to, everybody used to tell me, my friends, they like, why
[00:31:16] you doing your granny like that, Moe?
[00:31:17] And woo-woo, they like, Moe, you crazy.
[00:31:20] She like, you know, so, but it took for me to wake up and be like, that was the only
[00:31:25] person that really had my back, like, really had my back, like, do anything for, I could,
[00:31:29] I would disrespect my granny.
[00:31:30] She'll still go out and buy me stuff, still do all the stuff for me.
[00:31:33] So, you know, it's just like, ain't nobody really gonna do that for you unless they really
[00:31:37] love you.
[00:31:38] So, the love was like, you know, there's people in your life that don't matter if you stab
[00:31:42] them in their back, they still gonna love you.
[00:31:45] Because they love you so much.
[00:31:46] Like, they care so much about you and just like, she ain't never gave up.
[00:31:50] You know, so.
[00:31:51] Yeah, he's been exposed to that unconditional love.
[00:31:54] Yeah.
[00:31:55] Yeah.
[00:31:56] So, what are some things that you're, now that you, now that both of y'all respect yourself,
[00:32:00] okay, what are some things that you do to keep that self-respect?
[00:32:04] Because we still going through life, y'all.
[00:32:07] We still facing problems.
[00:32:09] We gonna come across people who's gonna, like you said, stab us in the back.
[00:32:14] Another man might come up to you and disrespect you.
[00:32:16] All of that.
[00:32:17] Okay, so, two things.
[00:32:19] What do you do to maintain your self-respect?
[00:32:22] That's number one.
[00:32:23] And then I'll jump into the next question.
[00:32:25] Go ahead, Chrome.
[00:32:27] Maintain self-respect.
[00:32:29] I wake up.
[00:32:30] I pray.
[00:32:31] I grind.
[00:32:31] That's it.
[00:32:33] You know what I mean?
[00:32:33] Simple.
[00:32:34] I get fly.
[00:32:35] I look good.
[00:32:36] I look myself in the mirror and I tell myself that, yeah, you're the one, dude.
[00:32:39] Every day, you're the one.
[00:32:41] You know what I mean?
[00:32:42] People tell me, oh, you can dress, bro.
[00:32:44] I didn't used to believe him.
[00:32:46] Now I'm believing him.
[00:32:47] Okay.
[00:32:47] I always kind of believe that.
[00:32:48] Yeah.
[00:32:49] But now it's just like, okay, you know what I'm saying?
[00:32:52] I'm getting confirmations.
[00:32:53] People are saying it.
[00:32:54] They're confirming it.
[00:32:55] So I'll just believe it and go with it.
[00:32:57] Even if I don't even if I like I'm not thinking it as like an arrogant way.
[00:33:02] I'm just thinking as it like a.
[00:33:05] Take care of yourself way.
[00:33:06] Right.
[00:33:07] Right.
[00:33:07] Right.
[00:33:07] You know, look good.
[00:33:08] Take a shower, you know, get your fingernails cleaned out, you know, do what you got to do to maintain yourself because you're worthy of maintaining.
[00:33:17] Stay 100 percent.
[00:33:18] You got to build confidence, but you got to you can't you can't build confidence if you smell like booty and you got holes in your clothes.
[00:33:24] You can't do that.
[00:33:25] Right.
[00:33:26] So you got to shape up and get right.
[00:33:28] Cleanliness is next to godliness.
[00:33:30] Exactly.
[00:33:32] Cleanliness is next to godliness.
[00:33:34] That's a tongue twister right there.
[00:33:35] Yeah.
[00:33:36] What about you, Mo?
[00:33:37] What are some things that you're actively doing to maintain your self-respect?
[00:33:40] Man, first and foremost, you know, get appraises to the most high, you know, because without without God, you know, ain't none of this possible.
[00:33:47] So, you know, you got to wake up every day and just be thankful for the situations you in and where you at in life because it's all up to God at the end of the day.
[00:33:54] And then just work on yourself, whether it's eating right.
[00:33:57] I exercise, you know, get in the gym, make sure my my my mental is clear.
[00:34:01] I meditate, you know, just just take time to go.
[00:34:05] So get in a space where I'm just by myself and I can just think, just collect all my thoughts and just be by myself and just really just help other people out.
[00:34:16] I just be the best I can be, you know, and not not letting them corrupt myself, my soul and whatnot.
[00:34:21] So I just no matter if I keep getting disrespected or I just keep being the best version of me because, you know, you kill them with kindness.
[00:34:28] You know, you kill the devil with, you know, just being kind, you know, just don't always fight the fire with fire.
[00:34:33] It ain't always going to work like that, you know, in some in some cases.
[00:34:36] But, you know, you just got to you got to learn how to just know you the best version of you and just everything going to flourish like nothing can stop you.
[00:34:46] You know what I mean?
[00:34:46] Yeah.
[00:34:47] Yeah.
[00:34:47] I love that.
[00:34:49] Also, the meditation piece is super dope.
[00:34:51] And then, like you said, I'm able to sit with myself.
[00:34:57] That's profound because.
[00:35:00] We're so bogged down and bombarded by social media, y'all.
[00:35:05] And just with other people, it's like being by yourself these days, people are afraid to be by themselves.
[00:35:11] For sure.
[00:35:11] But it goes back to what you said earlier, which was, you know, I had to go clear my mental.
[00:35:17] Like there's there are things that you have to do in order for you to be OK with yourself.
[00:35:23] Like you said, you know, make sure you can look at yourself in the mirror and be OK with yourself.
[00:35:26] Be cool with yourself.
[00:35:27] It's like, OK, you don't just wake up and do that.
[00:35:29] There's people who's going through it right now.
[00:35:31] For sure.
[00:35:32] You know, people is on their backs.
[00:35:35] They got a target on their back or they've done things that they can't forgive themselves for.
[00:35:41] You know, so it's easier said than done.
[00:35:43] For sure.
[00:35:44] But it's like you got to take it one step at a time because there's some people if you put them in a room by themselves or if they don't have somebody to talk to on the phone or they ain't got noise going on.
[00:35:55] Like there's no music or no, you know, it's like their own thoughts bother them.
[00:36:00] Drive them crazy.
[00:36:01] Drive them crazy.
[00:36:03] So it's like you got to get you got to heal first to even start to sit by yourself and meditate.
[00:36:10] For sure.
[00:36:11] This is my second question.
[00:36:12] So we're talking about respect, respect, respect.
[00:36:14] But what about disrespect?
[00:36:15] So obviously a lot of these things are easier said than done.
[00:36:18] And we know that.
[00:36:19] So it's like.
[00:36:21] When somebody disrespects you, think of a time when somebody recently disrespected you.
[00:36:27] Or maybe it wasn't recent.
[00:36:28] Maybe it was you could think of a time where somebody really disrespected you.
[00:36:33] It's like, oh, I remember that one time.
[00:36:35] Yeah, I was heated.
[00:36:36] But I was.
[00:36:39] When you get disrespected.
[00:36:41] A lot of those times, those lessons, they kind of go out the window in the moment.
[00:36:46] Yeah.
[00:36:47] Right.
[00:36:47] So how do you.
[00:36:50] How have you handled disrespect in a bad way?
[00:36:54] And then think of a time that you handled it in a good way.
[00:37:00] In a bad way, I'd say I blew up on them.
[00:37:03] Got to fighting.
[00:37:05] And then in a good way, I'd say just, you know, I walk away from the situation.
[00:37:09] Got to get away from that.
[00:37:10] You got to get away from that energy and just go deescalate yourself because you so riled up and whatnot.
[00:37:15] You know, you can either fight fire with fire or you can, you know, just let it cool off.
[00:37:21] Let it die down.
[00:37:22] You know, get away from it.
[00:37:23] You've been.
[00:37:23] So you've been in both situations.
[00:37:25] One where somebody disrespected you and you fought him.
[00:37:27] For sure.
[00:37:28] And then one where you chose to walk away.
[00:37:30] For sure.
[00:37:31] For sure.
[00:37:33] Can you share what the person did to disrespect you when you decided to fight him?
[00:37:37] And how old were you around that time?
[00:37:38] I guess it was one time I was in school.
[00:37:41] Dude took my hat.
[00:37:43] I gave him all day to try and get it back.
[00:37:44] They like, Mo, you sweet.
[00:37:46] I'm like, man, I say less, you know, because I was, you know, nice.
[00:37:50] I was, you know, whatever.
[00:37:51] Man, I waited to say the end of the day.
[00:37:53] I went to this classroom and we just got it off.
[00:37:55] We just I just we just got to fighting.
[00:37:57] I was like, oh, yeah.
[00:37:59] Ask the principal.
[00:38:00] No, you.
[00:38:02] We got to dive deeper into that in this next segment, y'all.
[00:38:05] On Holy Culture Radio.
[00:38:07] This is the Man Up Club presents.
[00:38:08] We're getting into disrespect, respect, because sometimes the things that we know about respect, it's easier said than done.
[00:38:14] Mo was just talking about a situation that he was in before where somebody disrespected him.
[00:38:18] He was in school.
[00:38:19] Right.
[00:38:19] Yeah.
[00:38:20] And do took your hat.
[00:38:22] And basically people were putting their input and in your ear talking about, oh, you sweet and this and that.
[00:38:29] All of that.
[00:38:30] Talk about that, man.
[00:38:32] So he took my hat.
[00:38:33] You know, I gave him all dated.
[00:38:35] They're like, Mo, you ain't going to get your hat back.
[00:38:37] Woo woo.
[00:38:37] They're like, man, you should have just got off on him right then and there.
[00:38:40] I'm like, man, I was a little nervous.
[00:38:42] I was like, oh, man.
[00:38:43] You know, I told the principal or whatever.
[00:38:46] I'm like, hey, can y'all get my hat back and whatnot?
[00:38:48] You know what I'm saying?
[00:38:49] They be like, yeah, we're going to get it back.
[00:38:50] I told the principal, like, if you don't get my hat back, I'm going to fight him.
[00:38:54] Sure enough, I went to the principal's office.
[00:38:56] They're like, yeah, we couldn't get it back.
[00:38:57] I'm like, all right, cool.
[00:38:58] It's sixth period.
[00:38:59] I walk out of my classroom, get a little pass.
[00:39:02] Like, I'm thinking all the scenarios, how I'm going to do it.
[00:39:04] I'm just running this class.
[00:39:05] Just get the whooping on him.
[00:39:07] Boom.
[00:39:08] I go to his.
[00:39:09] I'm walking to his class.
[00:39:10] I see my homie.
[00:39:11] They like one of the homies that seen me get my hat took.
[00:39:13] They're like, what you going to do, Mo?
[00:39:14] I'm going to go fight, bro.
[00:39:16] He like, oh, for real?
[00:39:18] Okay, bet.
[00:39:19] So I go upstairs.
[00:39:20] The whole time their class is coming out, they're going to the library.
[00:39:23] So I'm like, oh, bet.
[00:39:25] First person I see is him.
[00:39:26] He's like, what's up?
[00:39:27] I'm like, you know what's up.
[00:39:29] So we start going to the bathroom or walking.
[00:39:33] He's like, come to the bathroom.
[00:39:34] I just started swinging off him.
[00:39:36] We ain't waiting on none of that.
[00:39:37] We got to swinging off him.
[00:39:39] We fought for a little bit.
[00:39:40] Teachers came in, grabbed us up.
[00:39:42] Yeah, but I just was like, at the end of the day, you got my hat,
[00:39:46] but you know what I'm saying?
[00:39:47] I ain't going for it.
[00:39:49] You know what I'm saying?
[00:39:50] Got beat up and all of that.
[00:39:52] So it's all good.
[00:39:54] Yeah.
[00:39:54] So it sounds like, I mean, what it was,
[00:39:56] what it was, was it was built up.
[00:40:04] Disrespect.
[00:40:05] Yeah.
[00:40:05] It was built up.
[00:40:06] Because it's like this person, they, they, they had your stuff the whole day.
[00:40:10] The whole day rocking.
[00:40:12] He's the, he probably still got it.
[00:40:13] He went home with it, but just know you go, you're going home with that L too.
[00:40:17] So take the hat and the L with you.
[00:40:19] I went back to school to the next week.
[00:40:21] They was like, they was going crazy.
[00:40:22] They're like, Moe, you beat up, woo, woo.
[00:40:24] You beat up, woo.
[00:40:25] Oh my goodness.
[00:40:26] Woo.
[00:40:27] Because he used to act so tough.
[00:40:29] So everybody knew him for being all tough.
[00:40:31] They like, oh, Moe.
[00:40:32] So they'll crack jokes like, don't make me call Moe on you.
[00:40:35] Oh my God.
[00:40:36] Don't make me call Moe on you.
[00:40:37] See, and that's, and that's another thing is that like, we are social creatures as humans
[00:40:42] and like the power of influence and perception.
[00:40:47] It can, it, it oftentimes they overrides what we would do.
[00:40:51] That's right.
[00:40:52] For sure.
[00:40:53] You know?
[00:40:53] So it's like that peer pressure.
[00:40:55] Do you think that's something that really push you to, to fight?
[00:40:58] Kinda, kinda.
[00:41:00] Cause at the end of the air, it happened in, in, in breakfast.
[00:41:03] So everybody seen that in breakfast, they looking like.
[00:41:06] Oh yeah.
[00:41:07] Yeah.
[00:41:08] Everybody seen this.
[00:41:09] So I'm just like, man.
[00:41:10] And everybody out the little table, I'd be at sinket.
[00:41:12] And I'm like, oh yeah, I can't go out like that.
[00:41:15] They just gonna be like, yeah.
[00:41:17] So.
[00:41:18] And so.
[00:41:18] What's up?
[00:41:19] Yeah.
[00:41:19] So talk about the time that you, that you obviously, you got to a place where somebody
[00:41:23] disrespected you.
[00:41:24] You walked away.
[00:41:25] What was that about?
[00:41:26] So like my family or somebody like that, or just like, you know, they just talking
[00:41:30] crazy and you like, I ain't even gonna do it to you.
[00:41:33] You know, just walk away from you.
[00:41:34] The fact that.
[00:41:35] Move around.
[00:41:36] Right.
[00:41:36] The fact that you have spiritual, I said spiritual.
[00:41:39] The fact that you have maturity to be able to recognize, okay, you know what?
[00:41:45] This situation is going to get me hot.
[00:41:46] Probably to the point where I can't control myself.
[00:41:48] So I need to remove myself from the situation physically.
[00:41:51] For sure.
[00:41:51] And then if you got things that you're doing, it'll just mess up what you got going on.
[00:41:56] So now you get into a fight and whatnot.
[00:42:00] And now you got all this stuff going on and it's just delaying you now.
[00:42:03] Now you putting stuff on the back burner.
[00:42:05] You losing opportunities and whatnot.
[00:42:07] You might have to go to work.
[00:42:08] You're losing your job.
[00:42:09] You got a business thing and you can't make it because you done got yourself into something
[00:42:14] and whatnot.
[00:42:14] So it's a lot.
[00:42:15] Yeah.
[00:42:16] Yeah.
[00:42:16] See, that self-awareness though.
[00:42:19] That's what I'm saying.
[00:42:20] You got to know what you got going on in your life to where, okay, if I do this, if I make
[00:42:25] this decision, it's going to have consequences.
[00:42:27] For sure.
[00:42:28] But see, and I just want to say there's a lot of young black men that struggle with having
[00:42:36] a purpose though.
[00:42:37] Because it's like, how can you, how can you see, how can you see what you got going on
[00:42:41] and respect what you got going on?
[00:42:43] But when, if you don't see nothing, if there's nothing that you see that's going on for you,
[00:42:47] if you ain't got nothing, like.
[00:42:49] You're going to crash out quick.
[00:42:50] Cause ain't, like you said, you ain't got nothing, but if you got stuff going on, it'll
[00:42:54] make you think, I got a family, I got kids, I got a business, I got work, I got, I got
[00:43:00] some going on tomorrow.
[00:43:01] I can't just.
[00:43:02] I have a good relationship with my sister.
[00:43:03] I can't just throw it all down the drain just because, you know what I mean?
[00:43:06] Just this one little thing.
[00:43:07] So I either got to move away from it or, you know, let the fight, you know, just fight
[00:43:12] fire with fire and then deal with all the consequences that you, that you doing.
[00:43:17] For sure.
[00:43:18] What about you, Chrome?
[00:43:20] Listen to him do his story.
[00:43:22] What, what, what's the time that you got disrespected?
[00:43:24] You didn't handle it well.
[00:43:25] And then another time that you did handle getting disrespected well.
[00:43:29] So he talked about getting in a fight at breakfast at school, similar situation happened to me.
[00:43:35] You know, one of my bros, he's talking about, uh, he dealing with a lot of things with his
[00:43:40] family and he's talking about some heavy subjects and the other guys making fun of him.
[00:43:45] And I just, that was my guy.
[00:43:46] That was my, my friend.
[00:43:47] Yeah.
[00:43:48] We were super close.
[00:43:50] And after that, everything goes black.
[00:43:52] You know what I mean?
[00:43:53] It's at breakfast.
[00:43:54] Everybody's there.
[00:43:55] People say I'm flipping dude around, uh, throwing them in the air, tossing them up.
[00:43:59] I don't really know that.
[00:44:00] I'm just, I'm fighting.
[00:44:01] You know what I'm saying?
[00:44:02] I'm blacked out.
[00:44:03] I'm mad.
[00:44:04] But another time, somebody took his hat.
[00:44:08] Dude stole my chips.
[00:44:09] And this was like right around the time I was like super into talkies, especially the red bag too.
[00:44:15] Okay.
[00:44:16] And it was like, he took my talkies, bro, and just threw them in the trash.
[00:44:20] He starts offering them out to people.
[00:44:22] You know what I mean?
[00:44:22] I was trying to find him the whole day.
[00:44:25] Nobody, nobody wanted him.
[00:44:27] Nobody was telling me where, where he was at.
[00:44:29] I couldn't get to where his class was at.
[00:44:31] He was gone.
[00:44:32] He just left the scene.
[00:44:34] So that was a couple of times where I guess I just didn't handle it well.
[00:44:37] I couldn't have avoided that, but I feel like it needed to happen at the time as well.
[00:44:41] It's hard when you're in school, you know, cause you young, you, you kid, you a teenager.
[00:44:46] It's like when you in school, like it's easy.
[00:44:50] For sure.
[00:44:51] Somebody, your parents ain't around.
[00:44:52] Somebody steal your chips.
[00:44:54] They totally disrespect you.
[00:44:55] If somebody takes your property and just hands, that is, that's so disrespectful.
[00:45:00] Right, right, right, right.
[00:45:01] Right.
[00:45:01] What about another time though, that you, uh, you actually handled disrespect well that you were proud of yourself for?
[00:45:07] Um, I guess I wouldn't have been proud of myself.
[00:45:12] It was just, it's, I got into it with some guy at work.
[00:45:14] You know what I mean?
[00:45:15] Um, he's coming down on me about doing something, but he's been there longer than me and he's doing the same thing, but he's going there and telling the top boss.
[00:45:27] Okay.
[00:45:27] About what I'm doing.
[00:45:28] And I'm like, dude, the boss, I told the boss, I'm like, dude, you see, they be on break for two hours.
[00:45:33] And he was like, yeah, I know.
[00:45:34] I know.
[00:45:35] I know.
[00:45:35] I'm like, dude, if you know, then come on.
[00:45:37] Yeah.
[00:45:37] But it didn't even escalate to that until I, like before.
[00:45:42] So let's say, uh, I used to work the graveyard shit.
[00:45:44] This is around 12 o'clock.
[00:45:46] We get into it around 12 o'clock.
[00:45:48] You know, I want to talk to just him that night and just let it be us and let it be over with.
[00:45:53] You know what I'm saying?
[00:45:54] But his anger got to him and he'd take it to the top boss and it escalated.
[00:46:00] You know what I'm saying?
[00:46:00] Just prolonged into a different situation that could have been settled that same night.
[00:46:05] So, I mean, that's, it was settled.
[00:46:09] You know what I mean?
[00:46:10] It was, I understand where he was coming from.
[00:46:13] He understood where I was coming from.
[00:46:15] And that was that.
[00:46:16] And we continue working.
[00:46:18] Okay.
[00:46:18] I feel like it didn't, like me just trying to talk to him that night about it and us trying to figure it out between two men.
[00:46:26] Just, you know what I'm saying?
[00:46:27] Me between you.
[00:46:28] You don't have to go to, you don't got to go to the morning.
[00:46:30] Right.
[00:46:30] We can settle it right now.
[00:46:32] So that's another time.
[00:46:34] Yeah, that's good.
[00:46:34] To be able to have a conversation man to man.
[00:46:37] Right.
[00:46:38] You know, about a situation as opposed to, you know, anything could have happened.
[00:46:41] Like he, you know, anything could have happened.
[00:46:43] Right, right, right.
[00:46:44] So I respect that too.
[00:46:47] To be able to, and that's how you handle disputes, especially coming into adulthood, being an adult.
[00:46:53] It's like you should, everyone should be able to get to adulthood and have mature conversations, especially when you disagree.
[00:47:01] Right, right.
[00:47:02] You know, and actually being disrespected, if you can bounce back from being disrespected in a relationship, in any type of relationship,
[00:47:11] that means that likely that relationship is going to succeed or turn into something that is fruitful.
[00:47:20] So, you know, I've heard Mr. Dean say that, I'm going to paraphrase it, but he was saying that, you know, your relationships, they really get tested.
[00:47:32] Like you'll really see them for what they are once you go through something.
[00:47:35] Yeah.
[00:47:36] That's the real test.
[00:47:37] If you go through something, say you get disrespected.
[00:47:40] Okay, well, what's going to happen after that?
[00:47:43] Yeah.
[00:47:44] You know.
[00:47:45] So, that's the real question here.
[00:47:49] I also, I don't, I don't even see disrespect anymore.
[00:47:52] I don't pay attention to it.
[00:47:53] I don't put a label to it.
[00:47:55] Like, for myself, I don't see myself ever getting disrespected.
[00:48:00] Disagreements happen, and that's what I'll call it.
[00:48:02] But, you know, if you're talking crazy to me, I'm not going to rile myself up to match your energy with that.
[00:48:10] You know what I mean?
[00:48:11] If you come up to me cussing or pushing me, you know, we don't talk before anything else.
[00:48:22] Yeah, there's a lot when it comes to that, because it's like self-control.
[00:48:26] It's like, how much do you allow somebody to, how much power are you going to give somebody over yourself?
[00:48:32] You know, like at the end of the day, you know, what I'm hearing from you, Mo, is like, you got to just know yourself.
[00:48:39] You know, know your worth and understand what you will and won't do.
[00:48:44] And having those boundaries.
[00:48:47] For sure.
[00:48:47] So, what are some other things that you guys would give advice to people who's struggling with self-respect?
[00:48:58] Or maybe they're constantly being disrespected by those around them.
[00:49:04] People who may not necessarily be able to get out of their situation.
[00:49:08] I mean, honestly, there's a lot of young people who their family members are people they can't get away from.
[00:49:17] You know what I mean?
[00:49:18] Like, you try to help them to do better for themselves, but it's like the people that they're around is not healthy.
[00:49:25] They're toxic.
[00:49:26] They're just so stuck in their ways.
[00:49:27] They're so stuck in their ways.
[00:49:29] Yeah.
[00:49:29] It's like, how do they even make it out?
[00:49:32] You got to just, you got to find ways to get away from that.
[00:49:35] No matter what, you got to just start your great escape.
[00:49:40] Get away from that.
[00:49:41] Whether it's your family, it's people in my family and just in your family that, you know, they just, they'll bring you down.
[00:49:46] They're like anchors.
[00:49:48] They'll bring you down.
[00:49:49] They're not doing the best.
[00:49:50] And it's crazy because people will see that you're doing good for yourself and you doing the right thing.
[00:49:56] And they will try and bring that down, whether they won't say it or not, but they'll just do things that, you know, trying to say you stop smoking and drinking.
[00:50:04] Now they all smoking and drinking.
[00:50:05] They got you.
[00:50:06] You want to hit it?
[00:50:07] Woo woo.
[00:50:07] Or you going to the gym.
[00:50:09] Now they trying to put all this, this, this food out that you, you normally don't eat because you, you want a diet.
[00:50:15] You trying to do something healthy.
[00:50:16] Now they all, you know what I mean?
[00:50:18] So it's different things.
[00:50:18] You just got to get away from that.
[00:50:19] They'll talk about you.
[00:50:21] Everybody going to talk about you.
[00:50:22] You know, you got to learn how to just block that out.
[00:50:24] And, you know, they're going to talk, but just get you, get in a space where you can calm down, you know, reassure yourself and then just go back in and like, okay, this ain't going to last forever.
[00:50:34] Right.
[00:50:36] Any thoughts from you Chrome as we wrap up?
[00:50:39] Yeah.
[00:50:40] Just sit with yourself, be alone, understand yourself and put yourself at a way more valuable position than everybody else in the world.
[00:50:51] That's right.
[00:50:51] Anybody.
[00:50:52] Like you're the top priority.
[00:50:54] Focus on you.
[00:50:55] Focus on your peace and just being cool with you.
[00:51:00] Like don't let anything, any situation knock you down because your peace is the most important thing to you in your life.
[00:51:06] And that's where that needs to be.
[00:51:07] The number one spot.
[00:51:08] Yeah.
[00:51:08] I was definitely sure.
[00:51:10] This is the Man Up Club presents podcast.
[00:51:12] We were talking about respect.
[00:51:14] Shout out to Holy Culture Radio.
[00:51:16] Tune in for another episode.
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