741. Life Choices: Serving In The US Military

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[00:00:25] We are back at the Man Up Club presents with another episode. Okay. I am your host today, Selena, a.k.a. Sis of Sis and Low Bro.

[00:00:34] But I'm also the youth and program director for the Man Up Club. Okay.

[00:00:38] The Man Up Club is a nonprofit organization for young black males in the Twin Cities between the ages of 13 and 24.

[00:00:44] And we teach them life skills, social skills, academic discipline, and civic responsibility.

[00:00:50] We also have three main goals. That is number one, to get them to graduate from high school.

[00:00:56] Number two, to get them out of the prison pipeline.

[00:00:59] And number three, to get them to go on to college or have a trade after high school.

[00:01:04] Speaking of ways to success, today my two special guests have embarked on a journey coming across the military,

[00:01:13] also known as the U.S. Department of Defense.

[00:01:17] All right. So, Demond, he's been here before. Welcome back. How you feeling, Demond?

[00:01:22] I'm feeling good. I hope y'all woke up today feeling blessed. Absolutely.

[00:01:25] Okay. Demond is 24 and he is about to embark on a new journey going into the Navy as a culinary specialist on a submarine.

[00:01:36] Yeah, yeah.

[00:01:37] That's almost as cool as a young lady wanting to become a mermaid.

[00:01:44] That's super cool. That's a very cool job.

[00:01:46] Thank you very much.

[00:01:47] And then we also have Antoine. Say what's up, Antoine.

[00:01:50] What's up, what's up?

[00:01:51] Now, you have never been here before. This is your first time on a podcast, correct?

[00:01:55] Yeah.

[00:01:55] Okay. Well, we're happy to have you, okay?

[00:01:58] He's 23 and he has already served in the Air Force as a personnelist. Did I get that right?

[00:02:05] Yeah, that's correct.

[00:02:06] Okay. Tell me what a personnelist does.

[00:02:09] Essentially, we are a little bit of everything and whatever is needed, but our main job is administrators.

[00:02:16] We work directly with the commanders and all of the leaders around whatever base we are at.

[00:02:23] And we either can be in one or two places. For the most part, we're either in the NPF, which is the military personnel flight.

[00:02:32] And that basically runs the whole base.

[00:02:35] If you come in, you got to process through them.

[00:02:38] And if you leave, you got to go through them.

[00:02:40] Thank you. Thank you.

[00:02:42] Thank you.

[00:02:42] And to us civilians, you know, it can be hard to understand.

[00:02:46] But that's why we're having this episode, y'all.

[00:02:48] That's why we're talking about the U.S. Department of Defense.

[00:02:53] Because we're going to pick at you guys' experiences.

[00:02:56] Okay.

[00:02:56] What's really cool is Demand, like I said, he's embarking on a journey.

[00:03:01] And Antoine, you're finishing your journey.

[00:03:04] You've already finished your journey.

[00:03:05] And you're here now today in the civilian world.

[00:03:08] So we're going to go ahead and have a conversation because there's a lot of people out there who may think about joining the military, think about joining the army.

[00:03:15] They get that call when they're 17 or those text messages that are like, hey, enlist, this is a great opportunity.

[00:03:20] You know, you get all these benefits and things like that.

[00:03:24] But there's a lot of.

[00:03:26] There are a lot of perspectives that need to be debunked.

[00:03:31] And so we're going to hear it straight from you guys firsthand.

[00:03:34] Okay.

[00:03:35] So let's jump right into this.

[00:03:37] Before I started this conversation, I had to chat with my older cousin, Will Dean.

[00:03:41] He was serving in the Navy for eight years.

[00:03:44] He was an electronics technician as a first class petty officer.

[00:03:48] So, you know, I wanted to get his perspective.

[00:03:51] We're going to start with Demand.

[00:03:53] Yeah.

[00:03:53] So why did you decide to join the Navy?

[00:03:58] There is actually, there's quite a few reasons as to why I decided to go.

[00:04:01] One of the main ones is financial and just like building a career.

[00:04:06] Another reason is like I really wanted really good, strong friendships and bonding and stuff like that.

[00:04:13] I also love exercise.

[00:04:14] I have a couple of family members that were both in the Air Force and in the Navy.

[00:04:18] And they always told me that they found a lot of success and it turned their life around and they're living a great life right now.

[00:04:25] So it actually sustained their lifestyle as well.

[00:04:27] So it's quite a few things as far as the reason why.

[00:04:30] But I would say the main one is financially, like just building a career, being able to do something long term and retire pretty early.

[00:04:38] Like if I do it right, I can retire when I'm 35, 40 and I'll be good for the rest of my life.

[00:04:43] So that sounds great.

[00:04:45] Yeah.

[00:04:46] And as I mentioned, I spoke to my cousin Will.

[00:04:50] He has wonderful advice.

[00:04:53] One of the things that a lot of people do think, they think that, you know, when you go into service that you're just going to be set.

[00:05:01] And he had said, you know, you don't want to go in thinking that you're going to come out rich.

[00:05:08] Right.

[00:05:11] It's a position where you go in, you work hard, become successful.

[00:05:16] And what it provides you is not wealth, but stability.

[00:05:20] Would you agree with that, Daman?

[00:05:21] Oh, absolutely.

[00:05:22] Like there's no way you can just go into the military and expecting that the rest of your life is going to be good.

[00:05:27] You definitely got to put the work in to become like move up the ranks and do well on your test and move up the ranks and things like that.

[00:05:33] And then, like I said, it's more of a stability thing for me.

[00:05:38] It's not about getting rich.

[00:05:39] Like your cousin said, I'm looking for stability long term.

[00:05:43] And the military is a great option for that, for sure.

[00:05:45] What about you, Antoine?

[00:05:46] Why did you decide to service in the Air Force?

[00:05:51] My main reason for joining was before I joined the military, I was homeless on the time of six years old, off and on, until I was 17.

[00:06:02] So as soon as I was old enough to do something, I tried to apply for jobs.

[00:06:07] And I had a father to take care of who was disabled.

[00:06:12] So I knew I had to do something to provide for my family in some type of way.

[00:06:18] But my personal reason was to get the stigmatism off me that I was just a violent kid from a violent place.

[00:06:27] And I wanted to show the world that I was disciplined.

[00:06:31] Wow.

[00:06:32] Did you believe that that was your only way out of your circumstance?

[00:06:36] I do believe I only had that option and one other one, but it wouldn't have been best for my family.

[00:06:43] It would have only been best for me.

[00:06:44] Okay, I got you.

[00:06:46] I got you.

[00:06:46] For sure.

[00:06:47] A lot of people have different reasons and it's respectable what you've done.

[00:06:52] And I would imagine that you would say you'd never go back and change anything.

[00:06:56] Would you say that you're extremely grateful for making that big decision?

[00:07:00] It definitely taught me a lot and it made me the man I am today.

[00:07:04] I know I made the right decision in the moment.

[00:07:06] For sure.

[00:07:07] So earlier I had mentioned that DeMond is doing something really cool.

[00:07:12] He wants to go and serve in a submarine.

[00:07:17] Demond, do you have any concerns about going out to the sea?

[00:07:22] Just considering that it's deep underwater, you're not going to be able to communicate with people months at a time.

[00:07:29] People on shore, we have access to satellites, cell phones.

[00:07:32] Is that something that you are okay with?

[00:07:36] Yeah, I've definitely had plenty of concerns and thoughts about that.

[00:07:40] Even as far as not being able to see the sun for multiple months at a time.

[00:07:45] So I got to be taking vitamin D pills and all that.

[00:07:47] But I mean, I'm at that point to where it's like, I'm going to do what I got to do.

[00:07:51] And I'm ready to put my best foot forward and just try my best to be successful.

[00:07:55] So it's like, I'm not letting my worries and fears hold that back.

[00:08:00] And I'm not trying to trip on them too much because if I do, then I'm not going to do it.

[00:08:04] And me personally, I've never been scared of the ocean.

[00:08:07] I know people ask me that a lot.

[00:08:09] It's like, what if you come across like a Megalodon or something like that?

[00:08:12] I'm just like, well, if we do, then it's whatever.

[00:08:16] Like I'm there to show up and show out basically.

[00:08:20] And so it's like, I'm not letting my concerns and fears hold me back from that.

[00:08:23] Speaking of fears, being on a submarine, I was also told by my cousin that

[00:08:29] you have to get specific training.

[00:08:33] One of the things that you're going to be trained on is, you know, being exposed to confined spaces.

[00:08:39] Do you have any phobias or fears in that sense?

[00:08:45] Not that I've experienced, but at the same time, I've never really been put in a situation like that.

[00:08:50] So I would feel like if I, once I'm put in a situation, I'll have to see.

[00:08:55] But off the top of my head, no, as far as like small spaces, confined spaces, things like that.

[00:09:01] I should be good for it.

[00:09:03] Yeah.

[00:09:05] Antoine, you've already experienced going in, you know, from civilian life.

[00:09:10] So I'm sure it's a big shock.

[00:09:13] Just me being the civilian that I am not knowing a lot about the world that you guys are about to enter.

[00:09:22] When I think of the military, the U.S. Department of Defense, I think it's hardcore.

[00:09:28] It's a 360, 180 switch, you know.

[00:09:33] What advice would you give to DeMond as he transitions into preparing for what he needs to know?

[00:09:43] Well, in some of our conversations, I've got to know him over the last week or so.

[00:09:50] I believe that he's doing what he needs to be physically ready.

[00:09:54] He's probably more physically ready than I was.

[00:09:57] It's the mental aspect.

[00:10:00] Okay.

[00:10:00] Make sure that when you go in there, understand that they are trying to break you down and build you up.

[00:10:09] But they are going to assimilate you into their culture.

[00:10:15] That's why we get our hair cut.

[00:10:17] You're starting from the bottom and you're working your way up, but you're not doing it alone.

[00:10:21] So find those people who dedicate it and motivate it and stick with them through your training.

[00:10:27] Okay.

[00:10:28] Okay, for sure.

[00:10:29] I do have one specific question that I'm going to ask you because I was curious about this.

[00:10:34] What is the sleep schedule like in the Navy?

[00:10:36] Do they let you get sleep?

[00:10:38] I don't even know because I don't remember how long I slept because first day there, we didn't go to sleep until 2 o'clock in the morning or 3, and we was waking up at 5 every day.

[00:10:51] So some days you're only going to get a few hours of sleep.

[00:10:55] If you're smart, you will get your rest.

[00:10:57] If you're like me, you're going to be doing a little extra workout or trying to prep for the next day.

[00:11:04] So it can be definitely sleep training, but you can catch up on it on the weekends.

[00:11:10] I know they allow you to rest a little longer on Sundays, I think.

[00:11:14] Okay.

[00:11:15] Okay, for sure.

[00:11:16] I don't get it.

[00:11:17] Sorry, go ahead.

[00:11:17] Yeah, me, I got sleep problems already.

[00:11:20] So if I got to fall asleep at 2, 3, wake up at 5, I'm cool.

[00:11:24] I do that anyway.

[00:11:26] Now, y'all training will be different than mine because you'll be in the water.

[00:11:31] So good luck.

[00:11:33] I can't swim like that.

[00:11:34] Yeah, that's what they were telling me.

[00:11:36] They were like, boot camp is not that bad.

[00:11:38] If you know how to swim and you're okay with getting yelled at.

[00:11:41] I was like, perfect, I'm smooth.

[00:11:44] As long as you're mentally strong, you definitely can do it.

[00:11:47] If you understand that, one, they're not going to hurt you, but they will yell at you.

[00:11:53] You might get irritated.

[00:11:54] It's a bunch of young adults and old adults around each other,

[00:11:59] and it's meant to be a stressful situation to see how you handle pressure.

[00:12:03] So just knowing that and knowing that you got to do whatever you can do to get through the day,

[00:12:10] it'll be good.

[00:12:11] But you'll find other people in there that are really dedicated to it,

[00:12:15] that you'll be able to lean on and talk to,

[00:12:17] that will keep you going in those days because they'll challenge you.

[00:12:22] Perfect.

[00:12:23] Antoine, would you say that enlisting and going through the process is more mental than it is physical?

[00:12:30] Because the physical, I hear, is very intense.

[00:12:34] I would say for me, I was in the Air Force,

[00:12:38] so we definitely get a lot of flack about our physicality.

[00:12:43] But I've seen and had many friends from all the different trainings,

[00:12:48] so I have a basic understanding of what goes on in every single different type of training.

[00:12:54] And it is physically taxing, but me being an athlete my whole life,

[00:12:59] I believe that it's tailored to turn a normal human being into a military person.

[00:13:05] I don't believe that it's like they expect you to be an athlete on the first day.

[00:13:11] But it can be physically taxing.

[00:13:15] I believe it's all mental, though.

[00:13:17] Okay.

[00:13:17] Because if you're mentally going to give up, then you're not physically going to get stronger.

[00:13:22] As long as you give the effort, everything else falls in line.

[00:13:26] And that's the thing about it.

[00:13:28] When you're about to do something so challenging and magnificent,

[00:13:33] I mean, I would think that you have to be very, very intentional with your physical aspect,

[00:13:41] mental, emotional, spiritual.

[00:13:44] spiritual.

[00:13:45] Daman, you have said that you have sleep problems.

[00:13:48] What are your sleep problems like?

[00:13:50] And express your concerns for that.

[00:13:54] Yeah, for me, I have really bad insomnia.

[00:13:57] So I have problems just falling asleep.

[00:13:59] Like on average, it probably takes me two, three hours to fall asleep.

[00:14:02] But I don't really have concerns for that because I'm already so used to running with low sleep

[00:14:07] and low energy anyway throughout life.

[00:14:09] And that kind of, a lot of, I can see how different areas and different seasons of my life have built up to the military

[00:14:16] as far as being in a stressful situation but still doing what you got to do,

[00:14:20] trying to overachieve and, you know, push past your own boundaries and things like that.

[00:14:25] So it's like, I'm not really nervous at all for the military.

[00:14:29] I feel like I'm very well prepared for it.

[00:14:31] And it's just an unnecessary step to what I have to go to to get into the goals in my life,

[00:14:37] which is like family, house, kids, comfortable.

[00:14:40] Like, we don't got to worry about bills to sign the third.

[00:14:42] And definitely, the military can definitely do that for you.

[00:14:45] So I'm more excited about it than anything at this point.

[00:14:49] Well, that's good.

[00:14:50] That's the right mindset to have.

[00:14:51] Okay.

[00:14:52] Specifically, Daman, what are you looking the most forward to?

[00:14:57] The thing I'm looking the most forward to is really the social aspect in the military.

[00:15:01] Like my recruiter, shout out to Petty Officer Bryant out in Burnsville.

[00:15:05] He was saying, you got a cool job socially because everyone's going to want to be your friend to get special food.

[00:15:10] So I was like, okay, cool.

[00:15:11] I'm going to really be on the sub.

[00:15:14] And he kind of described it as because it's a submarine, it's not as many people as a full ship.

[00:15:19] So it's more like a family type of vibe because you're just going to be around the same people.

[00:15:24] So socially, I think I'm really going to blossom and get to know a lot of good people and just grow really close to everyone.

[00:15:32] Make some good food.

[00:15:34] Get some good exercise, you know.

[00:15:37] And it's just going to be a very positive overall experience for me, for sure.

[00:15:41] That's good.

[00:15:41] That's good.

[00:15:42] The social aspect is very important because all you have is each other.

[00:15:46] Right.

[00:15:46] Speaking of, so I'm going to ask you a question, Antoine.

[00:15:51] How did you navigate spaces where socially you were the minority?

[00:15:58] And how did it make you feel?

[00:16:00] I was the social minority every single day.

[00:16:03] I was in the military.

[00:16:05] How so?

[00:16:07] Nobody else came from where I came from.

[00:16:10] I've met other people of color, but they're not from where I'm from.

[00:16:17] They don't think how I think.

[00:16:19] They don't live how I live or they have a different type of support system.

[00:16:23] So maybe it was me just being at one base for a long time.

[00:16:28] There were a lot of people that came and went, but I never really met many people.

[00:16:33] I only met one person and he just so happened to be my cousin.

[00:16:37] What?

[00:16:38] What?

[00:16:39] So every day I was, I felt like I was half of myself for six years.

[00:16:44] You were what?

[00:16:45] Half of myself for six years.

[00:16:47] Half of yourself.

[00:16:49] What does that mean?

[00:16:51] That's a very interesting statement.

[00:16:53] You were half of yourself.

[00:16:55] I would say there is Antoine.

[00:17:00] Okay.

[00:17:01] And there was Juice.

[00:17:05] I grew up in the streets.

[00:17:07] I never was wanting to be a part of it, but it becomes a part of you.

[00:17:12] When you witness certain violences and certain lifestyles that they'll never be able to understand.

[00:17:19] So it's so many people who go in the military and leave and never have a traumatic experience.

[00:17:25] I had PTSD before I even joined.

[00:17:29] Wow.

[00:17:30] That is a real statement.

[00:17:32] So every day I knew I have to be the most professional.

[00:17:37] I got to be better than everybody.

[00:17:39] I got to be faster than you.

[00:17:40] I got to think faster than you.

[00:17:42] I have to be the best.

[00:17:44] Second to none.

[00:17:46] Where did that competitive drive come from?

[00:17:49] Has it came from the hardships that you've had to face before you went in?

[00:17:55] It's something I really just found it out probably a few days ago, to be honest with you.

[00:18:02] It's because just two days ago I was on my brother's couch crying and he sat and told me that I was better than him.

[00:18:12] And I always was.

[00:18:14] Every single person in my family has looked at me like I have to be the one to do it.

[00:18:19] I'm smarter than everybody in my family, literally, even though they're educated.

[00:18:25] They can't outthink me physically.

[00:18:27] They cannot.

[00:18:29] So they always expected me to be good.

[00:18:32] And that's always been the expectation, especially with my mom.

[00:18:36] Me being the youngest boy, ain't no messing up.

[00:18:39] You're going to make it.

[00:18:40] So I have a lot of pressure on my shoulders, I feel like.

[00:18:43] And I've always held it because I care about people.

[00:18:47] And I know if I can make it, everyone else can.

[00:18:50] For sure.

[00:18:51] You know, you said something really interesting when you came in and you were serving.

[00:18:56] You came across a lot of people that obviously didn't have the same mindset as you, didn't come from the same background.

[00:19:03] Did that show?

[00:19:04] Did you allow that to show?

[00:19:05] Was there a tension?

[00:19:06] Did you come in not really wanting to be friends?

[00:19:09] And you was like, I'm doing this for me.

[00:19:10] I'm doing this for my family.

[00:19:12] I'm riding solo.

[00:19:14] Like, I'm not even here to be y'all's friend.

[00:19:16] Or, you know, what was your attitude like?

[00:19:19] And, you know, did people receive that from you and just stay away from you?

[00:19:24] They never got to see that at all.

[00:19:28] Every day I show up, I'm Antoine.

[00:19:30] I'm the man that I was raised to be.

[00:19:32] A gentleman, respectful.

[00:19:34] So plenty of people took to me, but I still had to keep my distance because culturally there's the big difference.

[00:19:44] But there's also certain race factors that may play a part.

[00:19:49] And I had to control my response to certain things.

[00:19:53] Okay.

[00:19:54] Yeah, that's very interesting.

[00:19:55] Speaking of, you know, race and being in the military, serving, going into a completely different side of society.

[00:20:05] There are stigmas out there about black people serving for, you know, the military.

[00:20:17] Damond, do you know about those stigmas?

[00:20:20] Those stigmas?

[00:20:21] Yeah, I mean, it comes from, at least from what I know of the military's history with how people of color were treated when they were serving.

[00:20:30] Like, for example, like the Tuskegee Airmen.

[00:20:33] Things being always segregated.

[00:20:35] Folks weren't always treated the best.

[00:20:37] Da-da-da-da-da.

[00:20:37] So I know, like, the history behind it.

[00:20:41] And I know the worries and stuff that a lot of people of color have going into the military.

[00:20:47] Which are?

[00:20:49] It's just like, I've heard some people worry about, like, oh, will I be targeted?

[00:20:54] And will I be, like, discriminated against, treated different?

[00:20:57] Like, hazing.

[00:20:59] People worry about that, too.

[00:21:01] But from what I've experienced so far, as far as interacting with my PO, my PO is a black man.

[00:21:09] Going to the ASVAB test, seeing all types of shades and colors there, too, at the hotel, kicking it with them.

[00:21:16] Times have changed a lot with that.

[00:21:18] And people just kind of see you as a person that is respectable and making a big life decision.

[00:21:24] So they just base it off of that, less than your skin color how it used to be.

[00:21:29] You know, they kind of see you as their equal.

[00:21:31] And, like, I got the very, I very much so got the vibe of we're all in this together very early, you know.

[00:21:38] Okay.

[00:21:39] And this is really interesting.

[00:21:43] I like what you said when you said that, you know, times have changed drastically.

[00:21:48] I mean, could you have imagined before what it was like?

[00:21:51] Oh, before it was probably awful.

[00:21:53] Yes.

[00:21:53] I couldn't imagine.

[00:21:54] Did you, okay, so fun fact.

[00:21:55] Did you know DAP, like, DAPing someone up, that actually came from the military?

[00:21:59] That's how black men, yeah, that's how black men used to greet each other from the military.

[00:22:03] They DAP each other up, like, because it was a sign of brotherhood and respect of people in the military.

[00:22:08] But then that just got integrated into all the black culture.

[00:22:11] And that's all what we do is like, oh, what's up, bro?

[00:22:13] Like, you know what I mean?

[00:22:14] That came from the military.

[00:22:15] Yeah, that's amazing.

[00:22:16] Yeah.

[00:22:17] And one thing I do have to say that my cousin will inform me about, you know, I just learned this today, but my great, great, great grandfather, Albert Dean, he served in the U.S.

[00:22:30] colored troops and fought in the Civil War in the 19th, I'm sorry, in the 1860s to end slavery.

[00:22:37] Nice.

[00:22:37] Just knowing that, it's crazy.

[00:22:41] And then just to think of, okay, what did he go through?

[00:22:45] Who, I don't even know.

[00:22:46] So Antoine, like, what are some of the racially charged moments that you've had serving?

[00:22:56] I would say.

[00:22:58] And how did you deal with them?

[00:23:01] From a civilian side looking out, if you want to know what's currently going on in the military as far as race, just look up for Hood and all the incidents that are happening down there and have happened within the last five years.

[00:23:16] From my personal standpoint, I've just ran into certain people that I know haven't ever seen a person like me before.

[00:23:23] And I look at them and they look at me and they might treat me different because of that.

[00:23:31] And I've also had people go out their way to try to get me in trouble because of that.

[00:23:39] I also was in honor guard for about two years and I became the flight leader at a very young age.

[00:23:48] I was younger than everyone in my flight.

[00:23:50] Everyone outranked me and everyone was about two years older than me.

[00:23:55] And the very most specific to highlight what I was dealing with the whole time was one of my troops under me said, well, why is he winning all the awards?

[00:24:08] Or if he can do it, I can do it too.

[00:24:11] I was their motivating factor.

[00:24:13] They wanted to be better than me because they didn't like that I was better than them.

[00:24:21] So that's where the tension came.

[00:24:24] Yeah, there's and here's the reality of the situation.

[00:24:28] You know, the military, the society, school, college, you can find injustice in all these institutions.

[00:24:37] Right. But that may not necessarily mean that the whole entire situation is corrupt.

[00:24:43] I will say as a whole is definitely made a lot of leads forward.

[00:24:51] The only way I feel like as a person of color where you'll totally be trapped is if somehow you're under the wrong supervisor and their supervisor and their supervisor.

[00:25:02] And they all don't like color.

[00:25:05] People of color.

[00:25:06] But as long as you aren't in that, you should be good.

[00:25:11] Daman, do you think that it's going to be a challenge for you to accept the authority of people who are younger than you going into the military?

[00:25:20] Because the majority that go into the Navy, they enlist when they're 18.

[00:25:25] You know, you're 24 now, right?

[00:25:28] Yep.

[00:25:28] And so I could imagine that you're going to be coming across a lot of younger people who are going to be higher rank.

[00:25:34] You know, you're going to be taking orders from them.

[00:25:36] Is that something that you can see as a challenge?

[00:25:39] Not at all, because kind of the way that I was raised or just the mindset that I have around like knowledge and experience, it pretty much has nothing to do with age.

[00:25:48] You can know a lot more than a 50 year old at 22, 23.

[00:25:53] Even my recruiters, one of my recruiters was my age and he met his wife in the Navy.

[00:25:58] He bought a house out here.

[00:26:00] So it's like I'm going to respect you and what you have to say.

[00:26:04] Okay.

[00:26:05] One, just based off your position, but also like how you treat me kind of thing.

[00:26:09] And like either way, if you're a higher rank than me, I got to do what you say anyway or else I'm gonna get kicked out.

[00:26:14] And that's the last thing I want to happen.

[00:26:16] So, yeah, I don't think that'd really be a problem for me for sure.

[00:26:19] I try to learn from everyone in all age groups as much as possible.

[00:26:22] Well, that's a good mindset to go into it with.

[00:26:25] Antoine, you are nodding your head like Nadia.

[00:26:27] Why are you nodding your head?

[00:26:28] What's going on in your mind?

[00:26:29] He's saying everything that he's going to need to do.

[00:26:33] He's going to run into those situations because even if he doesn't have a bad supervisor, which I'm going to hope and pray that he has nothing but the best experience in the military, he's going to see it from a distance.

[00:26:46] And even if they're not your supervisor, if they outrank you, they still can have some ability to impact your future if you don't listen to them or give them their general respect.

[00:26:59] What is the first thing that gets ripped away from you when you first get into basic training and all that?

[00:27:06] What did you have to let go of?

[00:27:08] Like what was it that was just like kind of broke you?

[00:27:12] Was it, you know, I just want to leave it open.

[00:27:15] I don't want to make suggestions.

[00:27:18] So the basic person, it'll be your phone and your hair.

[00:27:23] Within the first three days, you're going to be bald for sure.

[00:27:27] And they're going to go against the grain.

[00:27:29] They're going to get every strand they can.

[00:27:31] But if that hurts you, then yeah, that's something that could break you down.

[00:27:37] It didn't affect me.

[00:27:38] I think the hardest part of basic training for me is I didn't have an address to send letters to.

[00:27:44] So I didn't talk to my family the whole two months I was in basic training except for on Thanksgiving Day.

[00:27:51] Wow.

[00:27:52] How did you deal with that?

[00:27:54] I mean, just know life is unpredictable.

[00:27:57] You know, people get sick.

[00:27:59] You know, people die.

[00:28:01] People move.

[00:28:03] Relationships change.

[00:28:04] If you're in a relationship and you go off, you know, how did you deal with that?

[00:28:09] How did you cope with that?

[00:28:10] Just not knowing what was next and just not being able to talk to your loved ones for that long.

[00:28:14] It was hard.

[00:28:16] I will admit that.

[00:28:18] Seeing everybody get their letters every single week and I didn't get one.

[00:28:25] And then even then, my phone wasn't on.

[00:28:28] So, like, when we did have opportunities to use our phones, which was only twice, I couldn't even call them anyway.

[00:28:35] So I had to use someone else's phone in the last minute or so.

[00:28:41] So I was able to somehow get my family down.

[00:28:43] I sent them all the money I made while I was in basic so they was able to get down from our graduation.

[00:28:48] But I didn't talk to them the whole time.

[00:28:50] And you talk about that isolation.

[00:28:54] I've been isolated my whole life.

[00:28:56] I would say I'm my biggest fear because when you sit in that room by yourself or you don't have nobody to talk to from home, nothing familiar, you got to deal with yourself.

[00:29:09] And it's going to show you what type of person you are.

[00:29:12] Are you going to quit?

[00:29:14] Are you going to, like, I'm going to drop my tears, but after I'm done, I'm going to get up.

[00:29:20] So, you know, you may be listening to this and you're just like, what the heck?

[00:29:24] It sounds like I don't even want to go.

[00:29:26] Like, it's not all bad.

[00:29:29] It's not all people do it for a reason.

[00:29:32] I was going through it before I got in.

[00:29:36] What were the glimpses of light?

[00:29:38] Like, what are some things that you looked forward to while you were in active service?

[00:29:44] Beast Week.

[00:29:45] What is that?

[00:29:46] They call it Beast Week.

[00:29:48] Okay.

[00:29:48] Describe it.

[00:29:49] It's when they take you out of the squadron that you're in because you'll be in, like, dormitories and stuff for the most part.

[00:29:58] And they put you in tents for a whole week.

[00:30:02] And you really got to act like you in the war zone.

[00:30:05] What?

[00:30:06] Okay.

[00:30:06] And we got to fight.

[00:30:07] So, it was my first.

[00:30:09] Yeah.

[00:30:09] I was excited for that.

[00:30:10] Okay.

[00:30:11] That sounds really dope.

[00:30:13] Daman, what do you think about that?

[00:30:14] That sounds crazy.

[00:30:15] That sounds, like, really fun, if I'm being honest.

[00:30:18] Super.

[00:30:18] Because I like being out in nature like that.

[00:30:20] Yeah.

[00:30:21] Yeah.

[00:30:21] That's what builds that camaraderie is being able to get out there because it's, like, now you only can depend on each other.

[00:30:28] And you have a whole different set of people that run it.

[00:30:33] So, ain't nobody being nice to you there.

[00:30:36] It's even.

[00:30:37] It's equal.

[00:30:37] We all were equal when we got to be sweet.

[00:30:40] So, the way that you describe it, I'm trying to picture it in my head, but is it like, it's like the civilian version of camping?

[00:30:49] Yes.

[00:30:49] I'm sorry, the military version of camping.

[00:30:53] And you guys don't use paintballs because you said you act like it's a war zone?

[00:30:58] Or how was that?

[00:30:59] How did that play out?

[00:30:59] Basically, we walked around with these little plastic fake M16s.

[00:31:04] And we had to treat it like a real gun.

[00:31:06] So, you have to make sure you aren't flashing anyone with it.

[00:31:10] You got to go through all the movements.

[00:31:11] You have to do certain things.

[00:31:13] They had the obstacle course that a lot of people hear about with the military.

[00:31:19] We had to jump across a lake on a rope.

[00:31:24] There was a multitude of things there.

[00:31:28] And as far as the fighting portion, I don't know what it's like for every branch.

[00:31:32] We just ended up having these two padded sticks where we ended up having to fight each other with.

[00:31:40] You was going ham, wasn't you?

[00:31:42] Hey, I was ready.

[00:31:43] I had a few people who I already had on my list that I had to get to.

[00:31:47] But honestly, I almost didn't make it out of basic.

[00:31:52] Because you can't fight there.

[00:31:54] You'll get kicked out.

[00:31:55] Yeah, that's what I was wondering.

[00:31:57] What are some of the things that are not tolerated?

[00:31:59] If you fight someone, you can pretty much be kicked out.

[00:32:04] Okay.

[00:32:05] If you get injured and you don't heal up in time through their program, you can get kicked out.

[00:32:12] Failing a drug test if somehow you go into it and didn't prep yourself to pass one.

[00:32:19] Because you shouldn't be taking drugs while you're in basic.

[00:32:22] I don't know where you would get it from.

[00:32:23] But stuff like that.

[00:32:26] But specifically fighting, if you fight and you're known to be in the wrong in any type of way, you pretty much can be put out.

[00:32:35] It just depends.

[00:32:36] I was lucky enough to have an older MTI who was our military training instructor.

[00:32:45] And he knew about young black men and the struggles that we go through.

[00:32:51] So he gave me certain passes, I guess.

[00:32:56] Because I was at the verge of giving up.

[00:33:01] And he just told me, like, you're good at what you're doing.

[00:33:07] You're going to succeed.

[00:33:09] You're going to be successful.

[00:33:10] Don't let them stop you from getting to the next level.

[00:33:15] That's dope.

[00:33:18] What would you say is your biggest takeaway from the entire thing?

[00:33:21] What is the thing that you will walk away with knowing that you did this big chapter in your life?

[00:33:32] Honestly, I don't know yet.

[00:33:34] It's still kind of soaking in.

[00:33:36] Wow.

[00:33:37] Wow.

[00:33:38] I normally got an answer for every question, but I do not have an answer for that.

[00:33:43] I don't really know fully.

[00:33:45] I don't think it's settled yet since I just got out.

[00:33:50] I know that it definitely made me a better man.

[00:33:53] And it taught me a lot of things.

[00:33:55] And I definitely became more patient.

[00:33:58] For sure.

[00:34:00] I learned how to balance out my life.

[00:34:03] That's good.

[00:34:05] I was able to go to school, take advantage of the benefits that we did have.

[00:34:10] And as long as you're educating yourself and you're continuing to try to be better, I believe you can easily come out a better person.

[00:34:19] I just don't.

[00:34:21] I can't see anything at the moment that I feel like was big that it did for me.

[00:34:27] Okay.

[00:34:27] Only because I was so prepared going in.

[00:34:30] I got you.

[00:34:31] Like it wasn't no drastic change.

[00:34:33] Yeah.

[00:34:33] Yeah.

[00:34:34] Yeah.

[00:34:34] I feel like I've always been this person.

[00:34:37] It just took me being in there for six years for me to come back out and they're like, oh, you are disciplined.

[00:34:43] No, I've been disciplined.

[00:34:45] I just didn't get a chance to show it.

[00:34:47] I got you.

[00:34:48] I got you.

[00:34:49] And Daman, just hearing him talk about these things, what's running through your mind?

[00:34:54] Um, I'm kind of thinking I'll, I'll have a somewhat similar experience to where it's like, I won't have a super big takeaway, but all I'm really looking for in the military is to refine what's already there.

[00:35:07] Like I already have discipline, you know, I'm responsible, respectful.

[00:35:12] Um, it's just to further like sharpen the tools that I already have to help me become the man that I want to be in the future, you know?

[00:35:20] Yeah.

[00:35:21] Okay.

[00:35:22] And for those people out there who are wondering what are the other benefits of enlisting, uh, what are they?

[00:35:29] To cover them, you have your educational benefits, depending on which branch they can vary.

[00:35:35] You also have tuition assistance, which you can use outside of your educational benefit.

[00:35:41] So you don't even have to use it while you're actively in the military.

[00:35:45] Okay.

[00:35:46] If you're in like a guard or reserve, I do believe they have a tuition assistance benefit as well.

[00:35:52] There are housing benefits as far as you can get VA loans to purchase homes for zero down.

[00:36:00] Wow.

[00:36:02] There are, there's a program that the Air Force had called Air Force Cool.

[00:36:07] And there's another one for the Navy as well.

[00:36:10] If you want to look into it where you can, they'll pay you to get certifications in certain fields.

[00:36:16] Mm-hmm.

[00:36:16] And it's up to like $1,500 per event.

[00:36:22] But they give you funding every year for that.

[00:36:25] There's so many resources.

[00:36:27] Just, you have to ask people.

[00:36:30] You have to talk to people.

[00:36:31] Find your family coordinator section at whatever base you go to when you get there.

[00:36:38] And just ask questions.

[00:36:40] Ask a lot of questions.

[00:36:41] Because there's resources they have that they don't know they have.

[00:36:44] Mm-hmm.

[00:36:44] Because they're not looking for it.

[00:36:46] That's really good.

[00:36:47] That's really good.

[00:36:51] Demond, when it comes to the benefits, what were some of the ones that appealed to you just on the outside looking in?

[00:36:57] I'd say the biggest one was definitely the educational ones and things like the VA loan.

[00:37:03] To where it's like, like I said in the future, I want to house kids, things like that.

[00:37:07] So if I'm still in the military and I'm making a career out of it, I don't want my wife to have to worry about any of that.

[00:37:12] And even my PO officer, he told me like, yeah, you know, they can pay for groceries.

[00:37:18] They can help you get a house.

[00:37:20] I would love to further my education in college.

[00:37:22] And so I know that the Navy does take care of a certain number of credits a year to where it's free.

[00:37:27] So in the future, I would love to get a degree, things like that.

[00:37:32] It was mostly those two.

[00:37:33] But even things like therapy, getting certifications for like restaurant management, because I'm going being a culinary specialist to help you get that and things like that.

[00:37:45] And furthering like even into the White House, being a White House cook, things like that.

[00:37:50] They broke all that down to me as well.

[00:37:51] So I would love to do all of that and really take advantage of all the benefits possible.

[00:37:56] Getting to know a lot of the things that go on on this other side of the world, because basically it's completely different from civilian life.

[00:38:07] And, you know, if you're listening and you're thinking about enlisting in the Navy, in the Air Force and any of the other branches, this is the episode for you.

[00:38:17] OK, really quick.

[00:38:18] Just also want to shout out to the Man Up Club.

[00:38:21] The Man Up Club is a nonprofit organization for young African-American males between the ages of 13 and 24.

[00:38:27] You guys are more than welcome to support the Man Up Club.

[00:38:30] You can visit our website at themanupclub.org.

[00:38:35] OK, or you can go to Instagram at themanupclub.mn.

[00:38:42] All right.

[00:38:42] So we're back with you too, Antoine.

[00:38:46] OK, Daman.

[00:38:48] We left off talking about some things that you reflected on in your time.

[00:38:55] What's some advice that you can give Daman?

[00:38:59] What to expect, what not to expect?

[00:39:01] What are some things that are false, you know, that had to be disproved?

[00:39:07] Anything you can give him?

[00:39:08] I will say mitigate any distractions and know that you will have to sacrifice in one way or another.

[00:39:20] If there's anybody who does not want for you exactly what you want, you're going to have to ignore them.

[00:39:31] You're going to have to sometimes not listen to your family because they will not know what's going on when you clock in to work.

[00:39:40] And you might not want to talk to them about it.

[00:39:42] But if you do have a person you can healthily talk to about your day-to-day work life, that's a very good outlet.

[00:39:51] I do know that they're big on mentorships and stuff like that.

[00:39:55] So I would say follow that route.

[00:39:59] Me, I never had a mentor in my life.

[00:40:02] So I'm looking for one now.

[00:40:04] OK.

[00:40:05] That's why I'm doing what I'm doing.

[00:40:07] That's good.

[00:40:07] That's good.

[00:40:08] But Daman, what do you think is going to be your moral compass?

[00:40:12] You know, what's the thing that's going to drive you while you're in?

[00:40:17] I think just keeping like my goals that I want in life and like things that I want to do later on in life.

[00:40:25] That and just all the motivation and all the support that I've gotten from my family and friends and how proud of me they are to be making this decision for me.

[00:40:34] It's like they really see that I'm really serious about becoming something and being successful in life.

[00:40:42] And so also just myself and me wanting to push myself and really just see what I can do and see the different heights that I can achieve would be great, too.

[00:40:53] So it's I got a few things that would really motivate me to just go through it, get it done and do the best that I can and be successful with it.

[00:41:00] You know?

[00:41:00] Yeah, I'm glad that you have such a positive outlook on everything.

[00:41:07] Is there anything that you're leaving behind that's really pulling on you?

[00:41:11] Oh, yeah, for sure.

[00:41:12] Sure.

[00:41:13] I would say the first thing that comes to mind is the entire like man up club, everyone on the album and everything like that, because I first fingerprinted for my job and sworn in on August 1st.

[00:41:25] We had did the auditions or I did my audition on September 3rd.

[00:41:30] So even before that, I was in the mindset of like, oh, military, let's prepare to do that.

[00:41:35] Then I started doing this whole album thing and I found a whole community of young people of color that have become like family to me and things like that.

[00:41:45] Tell the people what do you do on the album?

[00:41:47] Yeah, so I have two songs on the album.

[00:41:50] The Top of the Map by the Man Up Club Presents.

[00:41:53] I have two songs.

[00:41:54] I have my first song is called Courage.

[00:41:56] My second song is called Laugh Track.

[00:41:59] And I do both rapping and a little bit of sing song.

[00:42:01] And I won't say singing fully.

[00:42:03] I'm just kind of like hitting notes.

[00:42:04] Some melodic stuff in there.

[00:42:06] Yeah, yeah.

[00:42:07] Sound good.

[00:42:07] Yeah, yeah.

[00:42:08] Thank you.

[00:42:09] But yeah, that's just been a beautiful experience.

[00:42:12] And I think honestly, it's probably the most fulfilling thing that I've ever done in my life.

[00:42:17] Like I've never gone to somewhere for completely free just to hang out and just be around people like that.

[00:42:23] You know what I mean?

[00:42:23] So that's one thing that I'm going to be leaving behind for sure.

[00:42:28] My family, like I said, they're super proud of me and everything.

[00:42:31] But I love my family and it's going to be hard for me to not see them or talk to them at first.

[00:42:38] I know that.

[00:42:39] Especially now with like living with my grandma.

[00:42:43] I can see she's getting older.

[00:42:44] She needs a lot of help around the house, things like that.

[00:42:47] So, you know, I'm going to be worried about her, how she's doing while I'm in there because I won't be able to see her.

[00:42:53] I'm worried about my sister even though she's in Colorado doing her thing.

[00:42:58] So family would be, you know, pretty difficult as well.

[00:43:03] There are some people like ex-friends and things like that that I'll leave behind too.

[00:43:07] But again, everyone's so proud of me and so ready for me to make the step and do it big basically.

[00:43:15] Yeah, it's important to have moral support when you're about to make a life change.

[00:43:20] Right.

[00:43:21] Antoine, did you have moral support going in?

[00:43:26] I'll get to that answer.

[00:43:29] I just wanted to kind of highlight because I noticed the two biggest things for you, it seems like, is family and your education, which is getting you to your goals.

[00:43:40] As far as my advice on the education side is it has to get approved by your supervisor.

[00:43:47] Keep working hard.

[00:43:48] Anything you need to do, find out what you need to do before they will let you start going to school because they have to let you do it.

[00:43:57] So make sure you find out what do you need from me?

[00:43:59] Okay, I need you to do this and do this online training, get that knocked out, and then you'll be able to start doing school as soon as possible.

[00:44:08] Some people, they don't know, and then they'd be like, hey, I wanted to go to school.

[00:44:11] And they'd be like, well, you didn't finish this.

[00:44:13] Now you got to wait 10 more months before you can start going to school.

[00:44:16] And you know that time can't be brought back.

[00:44:20] And as far as family, you know, I pray that your grandmother stays in good health.

[00:44:29] And I didn't have the best experience as far as moral support because nobody called me.

[00:44:37] I didn't have a phone when I was here.

[00:44:39] And then when I got out there, I had my number and I assured everyone did, but no one really checked on me.

[00:44:46] No one called me.

[00:44:47] No one really even supported me, if anything.

[00:44:51] Like, I think they took it as a joke.

[00:44:56] And in the midst of that, I had a lot of people die while I was gone.

[00:45:02] And I knew that was going to happen from friends, natural causes, and unnatural causes.

[00:45:10] So my grandfather died in, I think, August of last year when I was still in the military, closing out towards my final year.

[00:45:28] And then my friend got murdered.

[00:45:31] Wow.

[00:45:32] I'm sorry to hear that.

[00:45:33] So being from where I'm from, hopefully your family isn't going to have any issues like that that you'll have to deal with because it's very hard when you hear something like that and you can't go to them.

[00:45:49] Right.

[00:45:49] You can't be with them.

[00:45:50] You got to get approved for leave or, you know.

[00:45:53] So it's like you just can't easily just go.

[00:45:56] Whereas in the civilian world, it's like if someone tells me something, all right, I got to work, but Friday I could fly out.

[00:46:03] Right.

[00:46:04] You got to get approved to do anything.

[00:46:05] And it's weird to have to go to people and be like, hey, can I leave and go do this when it's something that you feel like you should always be able to do?

[00:46:15] Yeah.

[00:46:15] Yeah.

[00:46:16] Yeah.

[00:46:16] That's extremely hard.

[00:46:18] Were you depressed during your service?

[00:46:22] Yes.

[00:46:24] Towards the end, though.

[00:46:26] Not in the beginning.

[00:46:27] But you were still doing everything that you were supposed to, right?

[00:46:31] I didn't have a choice.

[00:46:32] Mm-hmm.

[00:46:34] I couldn't fail.

[00:46:37] And also, the end of my service wasn't a nice way out.

[00:46:44] They made it very hard for me to get out.

[00:46:47] Mm-hmm.

[00:46:48] Certain people, not the military.

[00:46:50] Certain people who didn't like me, didn't like that I was doing good and did everything they could to tarnish my name.

[00:46:59] I probably got more stripes and awards than most people you'll know with my rank.

[00:47:07] So there was a lot.

[00:47:09] There's going to be a lot of hating.

[00:47:11] There's going to be a lot of comparing.

[00:47:14] And you got to balance out what's going on at work and what's going on back home.

[00:47:20] And don't let them overlap.

[00:47:22] When you're at work, you can't be emotional because there's some people that's going to come in with an attitude.

[00:47:29] Customer service in the military is hard.

[00:47:32] That's what I could say because you get the same stuff on the civilian side.

[00:47:36] Not everyone knows if you're working at a fast food spot, you might deal with hard customers.

[00:47:42] You deal with that too in the military.

[00:47:44] Except these people are very tired, used to getting stuff handed to them sometimes because the military gives you everything and it's already done.

[00:47:56] So they don't advocate for themselves.

[00:47:57] There's a lot of codependent people in the military.

[00:48:01] And when that codependency isn't there because you're like, I'm not here to hold your hand.

[00:48:06] I'm here to do my job and take care of you.

[00:48:10] It can cause a lot of bumps.

[00:48:14] And you'll run into some brown nosers too.

[00:48:17] And they won't like you if you aren't doing what they are doing.

[00:48:22] Yeah, you're really prepping Daman.

[00:48:25] Absolutely.

[00:48:26] I mean, Daman, do you often come across somebody that has this type of experience other than your recruiter?

[00:48:37] Um, not like regularly before I was looking to go into the military, but I wanted to know everything that I could about going into into the military before I went in.

[00:48:48] So even on like social media, I was posting about, oh, I'm going into the Navy.

[00:48:54] So like officers would reply and like DM me about like, oh, it's good.

[00:49:00] You got any questions?

[00:49:01] This and the third.

[00:49:02] So I would take time to get to know what their experience was like.

[00:49:05] Um, I have a couple people in my family that I know that are really successful and like family friends also that retired.

[00:49:12] So I really tried to take as much time as I could to learn everything that I could about going into the military.

[00:49:20] So yeah.

[00:49:21] And then this as well, this conversation as well, I feel like I'm very well prepared for it.

[00:49:27] For sure.

[00:49:27] That's good.

[00:49:28] Yeah.

[00:49:29] Preparation plus an opportunity equals success, y'all.

[00:49:32] Okay.

[00:49:33] This has been the Man Up Club Presents podcast.

[00:49:36] And we have been talking about the military, the U.S. Department of Defense.

[00:49:41] And you guys make sure to tune in with us for another episode.

[00:49:44] Okay.

[00:49:45] Bye.