729. Mindset Makeover: Transforming Mental Health Conversations

[00:00:10] What's up, y'all? Welcome to the Core Link Solutions Show right here on Sirius XM Channel 140. If you don't know, now you know. I do this every Friday at noon. And what I try to do is hopefully bring you awareness and some actionable insights. And I really want to underscore the word actionable. We try to make sure that you learn some things, but that you can take a couple things away. And today, we're going to have loads of it because I am with Dr. Nikesha Hammond. And in a few minutes, I'll introduce her properly. And we'll start talking about what she specializes in, which is mental health.

[00:00:40] And I know for many of you, if you're like me, this is a topic that is top of mind consciously in terms of guarding ourselves. I think it's become a topic we talk about ongoing basis over the last couple years. And let's be honest, in the black community, it's a topic we haven't talked about enough in terms of getting in front of it and trying to take some proactive steps. So we're going to cover all that today. Now, I know y'all, I usually start out with the way to wait song winner from this week. I am not. But I just want to say to that brother and that team, you will get your job.

[00:01:10] Just do later today, as well as throughout the weekend. I really want to get this discussion started. So and let me say this as well. I'm going to open up the phone lines or at least text lines 302-894-7805. Text me your questions. I will work them in as we get them. We are all the way live. So I mean that 302-894-7805. I won't be checking socials. I know you say I'm gonna check socials. Not today, y'all. This is relegated to tech.

[00:01:36] So let me introduce properly Dr. Nikesha Hammond. She is the founder of Hammond Psychology and Associates. Dr. Hammond has worked with various organizations as a mental health expert, speaker, and coach for burnout prevention, leadership, DEI, which is quote dying on the vine right now, and work-life balance issues. Man, we should talk about that as well. Okay.

[00:02:01] Dr. Hammond is also the former president of the Florida Psychology Association and currently serves as chair of the board of directors for the Ryan Neese Foundation. She also has been featured on NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox, various magazines, and radio shows, and now, of course, Holy Culture Radio, promoting positive mental wellness strategy. She's also an author with several books, which we'll probably talk about as well. Welcome, Dr. Hammond, to The Coiling Solution.

[00:02:26] Thank you. I'm happy to be here.

[00:02:28] Thank you for coming in. Thank you for visiting Philadelphia again.

[00:02:32] Yes.

[00:02:32] And spending some time out of here, and thank you for weathering through your tough flights.

[00:02:36] Yes. I'm very happy that I made that last connection plane.

[00:02:39] You look refreshed for somebody who got in around 2 a.m.

[00:02:42] Yep.

[00:02:44] So what's one thing that people who know you well, people say, Nikesha is my bud. I've known her for decades. You can't tell me anything new about her. What's one new thing you could share?

[00:02:57] I would say people that know me well know that I love helping people. I'm always trying to find a way, like, how can I help someone? How can I give back?

[00:03:04] Yeah.

[00:03:04] I love to see people win. Like, that lights me up.

[00:03:07] Yes.

[00:03:08] When people are winning, when people are doing well, when people are taking care of themselves and growing.

[00:03:11] Love that.

[00:03:12] So I would definitely say that's the thing.

[00:03:14] But what's the one thing? So they know that.

[00:03:16] Yeah, they know that.

[00:03:16] What's one thing they don't know?

[00:03:26] You know, all the things that it's still hard.

[00:03:29] Like, I'm still human.

[00:03:30] Yeah.

[00:03:30] And I am not perfect.

[00:03:32] You know, and I do have the hard days.

[00:03:35] I do have the dark days.

[00:03:37] I feel like giving up on goals and all those sorts of things.

[00:03:39] Like, I still have that.

[00:03:41] But a lot of times, I don't think people see that side.

[00:03:44] Yeah.

[00:03:44] Why do you think people don't see that side?

[00:03:47] I choose, especially on my socials, I choose, not because I'm trying to hide any part of me,

[00:03:52] but I really choose to keep things positive, to keep things uplifting.

[00:03:55] I believe in motivating people and inspiring.

[00:03:57] But what happens with that, I'm a public speaker and I'm doing all these things in the public.

[00:04:01] But what happens to that sometimes is that I think accidentally people start to put me on a pedestal a little bit.

[00:04:07] Like, you know, oh, you have the perfect life or are you doing these things?

[00:04:10] And it's like, nope, that's not true.

[00:04:12] I have to remind people just because I'm in the space, the mental health space and teaching burnout prevention and mental health strategies,

[00:04:18] I'm still a human being.

[00:04:19] Right.

[00:04:20] And I still, you know, we all have our times and our moments of, you know, whether it's, you know, our unsureness of ourselves

[00:04:30] or dealing with whatever we're dealing with in our lives.

[00:04:34] I mean, all of that, those sorts of things come up.

[00:04:37] It's interesting to hear you say that as a psychologist.

[00:04:39] Yes.

[00:04:41] Because I feel that a lot of times social media can be like a highlight reel of the best moments.

[00:04:47] Oh, absolutely.

[00:04:48] Right.

[00:04:48] All the stuff above the water that looks good and not beneath the murky, the challenges, the, you know, pulling yourself through things.

[00:04:58] Oh, yeah.

[00:04:58] And the bad moments.

[00:05:00] Yeah.

[00:05:00] And so that being said, is there anything you think you might do differently since?

[00:05:07] So what I try to do, as far as my social media, I still like to keep that positive, as positive as I can because there's so much negativity that we're surrounded with, unfortunately, especially on social media, what's going on with the world.

[00:05:21] I think we need a place of positivity.

[00:05:23] But what I do try to do when I speak to different communities is I do try to remind them of some of the hardships I've faced, some of the challenges I've faced.

[00:05:31] I am just like you in this battle.

[00:05:32] So I don't go in as like, I'm the burnout prevention expert.

[00:05:36] You need to do your self-care and I have this perfect life.

[00:05:39] No.

[00:05:39] Yeah.

[00:05:40] I still recall.

[00:05:42] You know, there was a growth process for me, too.

[00:05:44] I used to suck at self-care.

[00:05:46] I used to run myself into the ground, hustle hard and all these things and not take care of myself.

[00:05:51] Like, I have that journey and I share that now with people for them to understand.

[00:05:55] I'm with you.

[00:05:56] Like, we all together, right, on this journey.

[00:05:58] I've made some major adjustments over the years to get myself into a healthier place physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.

[00:06:06] But I share in that journey with other people.

[00:06:08] So I always remind them of that.

[00:06:10] Yeah.

[00:06:10] When you speak alive, that's good.

[00:06:11] Yeah.

[00:06:11] What drove you to getting into psychology as a profession?

[00:06:15] Yeah.

[00:06:16] So I always wanted to help people.

[00:06:18] Going back to that.

[00:06:19] Originally for me, I always knew I wanted to help kids.

[00:06:22] Like, I think youth, I mean, youth are our future.

[00:06:25] It's very cliche.

[00:06:26] But there's just something about helping kids and youth early so that it's like a gift when we help them understand their mental health, understand how to take care of themselves,

[00:06:36] understand how valuable they are so that they can grow up as functioning healthy and happy adults.

[00:06:42] Mm-hmm.

[00:06:43] And then what happened early, so 15 years ago, I started a private practice.

[00:06:47] And what happened early on, though, was I recognized, I'm like, this is so much, the mental health needs are so much bigger than in my office, if you will.

[00:06:56] Yes.

[00:06:56] So very grateful, and I'm still there part of the time to this day, but it was a matter of like, okay, and for me it was a spiritual mission, if you will, but it's like, how do I reach more people with this message?

[00:07:08] How do I help more people?

[00:07:09] So I started consulting more with the media, doing, I love public education, getting into a lot of different communities.

[00:07:16] I've met thousands and thousands of people from all over the world, which I'm grateful to have that experience, learn, hear people's journeys.

[00:07:23] Yeah.

[00:07:23] But it's a lot of what we experience and a lot of the heartache and pain is absolutely preventable when we know what to do.

[00:07:30] We know what to do.

[00:07:31] Yeah.

[00:07:32] Right.

[00:07:32] Yeah.

[00:07:32] And so to that very point, knowing what to do, when you think about some of your career journey so far, what has been most rewarding for you?

[00:07:43] Hmm.

[00:07:45] Wow.

[00:07:46] There's a lot.

[00:07:48] One of the things I will say, so having a private practice, I have a lot of time.

[00:07:53] Well, I used to have a lot of time flexibility right now.

[00:07:56] My time is like crazy all over the place, but it's allowed me to serve on different boards in the community.

[00:08:02] And one of the boards I serve on or have been serving on for the past nine years is the Ryan Neese Foundation.

[00:08:08] And essentially doing that work, like we help, we have a student service program.

[00:08:13] We help high school students learn how to give back, learn the personal development, learn the leadership skills.

[00:08:19] Like it's such a really cool, neat program.

[00:08:22] We do a lot of community service in the community with a lot of different organizations.

[00:08:26] And that for me has been the most rewarding, like meeting people at all different walks of life.

[00:08:33] I've met people who don't know where their next meal is coming from, don't know where they're sleeping that night.

[00:08:39] And I've also met billionaires who have no care in the world about money and everybody in between.

[00:08:44] Like, I think that's been most rewarding though, like to meet people of all different levels, if you will, different backgrounds, different stories.

[00:08:53] And just to hear and see their journey.

[00:08:55] That's been very rewarding for me.

[00:08:57] That's good.

[00:08:57] On the opposite side of that, what's been most challenging?

[00:09:01] The most, it's, I feel like I'm in like an existential crisis when you say that.

[00:09:06] But the most challenging is feeling like there's, there's so many people that I want to reach with the message to help them and trying to find ways to help and reach more people.

[00:09:21] And I always say like, if you had the cure for cancer, for example, and you're a decent person, like you, you would want to reach as many people as possible because you're saving people's lives.

[00:09:30] Right.

[00:09:30] Absolutely.

[00:09:31] That's it's at this point in my career, 15 years in, it's like, I have information that can save people's lives, that can give them a better quality of life.

[00:09:40] I can help you not burn out.

[00:09:41] Like I have that information.

[00:09:43] So I'm trying to find ways, like, how can I reach more people with this?

[00:09:47] I personally know what it's like to hit burnout.

[00:09:50] Yeah.

[00:09:51] And I know, I wish someone had told me what I'm teaching others now.

[00:09:55] I wish I had understood that information earlier to make the mindset shift.

[00:09:59] So it's really personal and professional and spiritual, I should say mission to like reach as many people as possible.

[00:10:05] But it does get frustrating sometimes because I'm like, man, how do I reach more people?

[00:10:08] God, like, how do I serve more?

[00:10:10] Like, it's just, it's hard.

[00:10:12] It's hard sometimes.

[00:10:13] It really is.

[00:10:14] How, how, how do you make peace with that struggle?

[00:10:16] Because I identify with that struggle, um, the struggle of feeling like you've been given a gift.

[00:10:21] Yes.

[00:10:22] Gifts and talents.

[00:10:23] Yes.

[00:10:23] You know, they're a part of your calling to use them and you feel this burden.

[00:10:28] Yeah.

[00:10:29] To reach as many as possible.

[00:10:31] How do you, how do you get comfortable in, um, in that?

[00:10:36] Honestly, so I don't do this alone.

[00:10:38] So with some amazing coaches and mentors, I think they helped to guide me on that piece.

[00:10:43] Because, because mentally it is hard and it's tough.

[00:10:46] Um, but, and actually you interviewed one of them.

[00:10:50] He's an amazing, outstanding human being.

[00:10:52] Yeah.

[00:10:53] Um, but they, sometimes you need other people to be like, Hey girl, like you do the best you can.

[00:10:57] Right.

[00:10:58] You know?

[00:10:58] And though, like, let's put things into perspective.

[00:11:02] Like you're trying the best you can.

[00:11:04] You're doing the best you can.

[00:11:05] You're still moving forward.

[00:11:06] No, maybe you haven't reached the millions and millions of people that you're trying to reach.

[00:11:09] Right.

[00:11:10] But you're on that path to do that.

[00:11:12] So sometimes it just takes an outside person, which it definitely did for me.

[00:11:15] Yeah.

[00:11:15] Um, with different mentors and coaches to be like, okay, like let's.

[00:11:21] That's good.

[00:11:21] Let's put things in perspective.

[00:11:23] That's good.

[00:11:23] And I'm sure, you know, people like, what I love about people like Anthony, yourself, um, hopefully me is that we are balancing our profession with our faith.

[00:11:32] Oh yes.

[00:11:33] Right.

[00:11:33] And so I think when you're in a corporate environment alone, it's all ruled by the scorecard.

[00:11:38] When you're, uh, a person who believes in Jesus, you know, look, some plants, some water, God gives the increase.

[00:11:43] Yeah.

[00:11:44] Right.

[00:11:44] So I have to do my role and let God do his work, which is the true work.

[00:11:49] Right.

[00:11:49] It's a spiritual battle, but yeah.

[00:11:51] Yeah.

[00:11:52] It's a true work.

[00:11:53] And that doesn't mean I get lazy on my part.

[00:11:55] It doesn't mean I do a layup.

[00:11:56] Right.

[00:11:56] But it does mean that I'm cognizant of the fact that I am not in control.

[00:12:01] Yes.

[00:12:02] Ultimately.

[00:12:03] Right.

[00:12:03] And so, um, that's been a process.

[00:12:04] Yes.

[00:12:05] Yes.

[00:12:06] What's been like, what's been a memorable experience that for you was a milestone moment in this work that it was, you know, after that, the trajectory was different.

[00:12:17] Hmm.

[00:12:18] Um, yeah.

[00:12:21] I, I really think it was when I started speaking.

[00:12:23] So about 10 years ago, I started speaking more in different communities and I'll never forget.

[00:12:27] I was in California speaking at a women's conference and this lady came up to me afterwards and she was like, she was in tears.

[00:12:34] And that was at the beginning of my speaking journey.

[00:12:35] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:36] And she was literally in tears.

[00:12:38] And she was like, thank you so much for giving me permission to like be who I am.

[00:12:42] Yeah.

[00:12:42] Because she was struggling.

[00:12:43] She's a mom.

[00:12:44] She's a wife.

[00:12:45] She's working in corporate.

[00:12:46] Like she's doing all these things.

[00:12:47] Right.

[00:12:48] And she was like, no one's ever given me permission to like, just be me, be okay with me.

[00:12:53] Right.

[00:12:54] You know, you're listening to society telling you all these things.

[00:12:56] And that was a huge turning point for me because I'm like, oh, wait a minute.

[00:12:59] I was like, this isn't just about going out and just speaking and giving education.

[00:13:03] Like this is very, this can be very transformational work.

[00:13:06] Yeah.

[00:13:06] And I've connected with different communities now who are absolutely amazing to be like, yes, let's, let's utilize our gifts.

[00:13:12] Like you said, go into communities and really transform people's lives.

[00:13:16] Like really change people's lives.

[00:13:17] Yeah.

[00:13:18] So I, I still remember her to this day.

[00:13:20] It was a long time ago, but that was, yeah, that was a pretty impactful moment.

[00:13:24] That's good for me.

[00:13:25] Yeah, for sure.

[00:13:26] You know, one of the things that we were talking before we started recording, I struggle with, I don't even want to use words struggle with.

[00:13:34] I am, I am intellectually curious about mental health and the different phases of it.

[00:13:41] Right.

[00:13:42] Just by the definition, the, you know, like I was saying to you, I have a family member who has a diagnosed form.

[00:13:50] Right.

[00:13:50] And trying to understand how to be of help and that balance between, you know, properly helping versus feel like maybe you're enabling or not helpful.

[00:14:02] I struggle with.

[00:14:03] And so, yeah, I'll give you an example of what I mean.

[00:14:05] So I had a ACL tear when I was probably 16, right?

[00:14:10] Yeah.

[00:14:10] Playing football, running down the sideline, think I'm doing my thing.

[00:14:13] Yeah.

[00:14:13] And I went to hurdle my friend's little brother who was running out on the sideline.

[00:14:18] And when I went to hurdle over him, my knee went straight into the ground.

[00:14:21] Oh.

[00:14:21] I mean, you talk about painful.

[00:14:23] Yep.

[00:14:23] And it was painful both from obviously physical pain, but painful meaning I wasn't going to play that season.

[00:14:28] And I really wanted to play football.

[00:14:30] I was a fullback.

[00:14:31] Yeah.

[00:14:31] So on and so forth.

[00:14:32] And I remember going to Temple Sports Medicine and I happened to be sitting on this table waiting to get seen.

[00:14:37] And Andrew Toney from the 76ers was sitting on the table next to me.

[00:14:41] And he said, tough break, kid.

[00:14:44] Oh, wow.

[00:14:45] Okay.

[00:14:46] If he says that.

[00:14:48] And so I remember, though, coming out of that, going through the surgery.

[00:14:54] So I got the ACL tear repaired.

[00:14:57] Fast forward years later, there was a moment where anytime I struggled with anything physically, I would associate it with that tear.

[00:15:06] Wow.

[00:15:07] Right?

[00:15:07] If I couldn't run up the steps, I went, oh, it must be the ACL tear.

[00:15:10] If I couldn't, so part of me at some point, and even when I hurt my back a couple years ago, I hurt my back and then I couldn't lift weights the same way.

[00:15:19] And then I finally said, no, no, I'm going to work on strengthening the muscles around it.

[00:15:24] So with my knee, you know, strengthening all my quads and everything around it.

[00:15:28] Right.

[00:15:29] And even doing the exercises to make it stronger with my back, finally getting back to doing some squats and some lifts and so on and so forth.

[00:15:37] And so I'm not saying that that's what happens with mental illness.

[00:15:41] It's a question for me is, is there sometimes a thing where whether self-diagnosed or professionally diagnosed, we associate and attribute things to being mental illness when it may not be?

[00:15:55] Absolutely.

[00:15:56] Absolutely.

[00:15:56] Do you know any of that?

[00:15:57] Absolutely.

[00:15:58] Okay.

[00:15:58] Absolutely.

[00:15:59] All the time.

[00:16:00] Yeah.

[00:16:00] Yeah.

[00:16:00] Because our brains, just like you said, the way our brains work, we tend to associate different events, whether it's true or not, different events with, oh, this thing happened.

[00:16:13] Well, it must have been because, like you said, because of the injury that happened to me.

[00:16:18] This thing happened.

[00:16:19] It must have been because of this trauma I experienced as a kid.

[00:16:21] This other thing happened.

[00:16:22] It must be because of what happened at work.

[00:16:24] Like we associate events and our mental health, depression, anxiety, whatever it is that we're going through, our stress levels are up.

[00:16:34] But sometimes that is false because depression is a liar.

[00:16:38] And so is anxiety.

[00:16:39] So when you're in these situations, when you're struggling with your mood or you're struggling with being nervous in different situations, the way you interpret that event might not have been the way the event really happened, but that was your perception of it.

[00:16:56] And then now you carry it into the next event.

[00:16:58] And then now you carry it into the next thing.

[00:17:00] So that is very common.

[00:17:02] I see that all the time.

[00:17:03] Are there any particular areas that are more prevalent than not in terms of that?

[00:17:07] Like I'll give you an example.

[00:17:08] So, you know, I forget when it was.

[00:17:11] Within the last six months, I had a flight and I get somewhere and I was going through something and just a very bad day.

[00:17:19] Yeah.

[00:17:20] And then to your point, so I must be depressed.

[00:17:22] No, I just had a bad day.

[00:17:24] It was a horrible flight.

[00:17:25] The city I landed in was raining cats and dogs.

[00:17:27] I got in extremely late.

[00:17:29] I could not get a good meal.

[00:17:31] And I woke up in a funk the next morning.

[00:17:33] Yep.

[00:17:33] I'm not sure.

[00:17:34] But for a moment.

[00:17:36] Yeah.

[00:17:36] Right.

[00:17:37] Yeah.

[00:17:37] But that's actually a higher level of self-awareness, actually.

[00:17:40] Yeah.

[00:17:41] That's amazing, actually, that you do that.

[00:17:43] Because a lot of times, like you said, we tend to think if you have a higher level of self-awareness, you are asking yourself, like, am I depressed?

[00:17:50] Am I anxious?

[00:17:51] Or whatever it is that you're going through.

[00:17:52] Right.

[00:17:53] But to your point, having a bad day is normal.

[00:17:56] Right.

[00:17:56] Having a bad week is normal.

[00:17:57] When you're going through things, you lose a job, you have a change with your significant other, grief, like whatever it is that you're going through.

[00:18:06] Yeah.

[00:18:06] Yeah.

[00:18:06] There are normal reactions to those things.

[00:18:09] And then there's the clinical depression.

[00:18:11] Yes.

[00:18:11] Yes.

[00:18:11] Weeks and weeks, months and months like that.

[00:18:13] Now we're talking about something different.

[00:18:14] But I wish to a certain level that we would all take the time to reflect more, which I've found in the past 15 years of being in the profession.

[00:18:25] Like, a lot of us, we're so busy.

[00:18:28] We're so wrapped up with everything that's going on around us.

[00:18:30] We're not taking a moment to take a step back.

[00:18:33] Like, how are you doing?

[00:18:34] Asking yourself, checking in with yourself.

[00:18:36] Right.

[00:18:36] How are you doing?

[00:18:37] What do you need emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally?

[00:18:40] And then what step do you need to take in order to make that improvement in that area of your life?

[00:18:45] That takes reflection, which I've seen time and time again.

[00:18:49] We tend to gloss over that.

[00:18:50] Why do we gloss over that?

[00:18:52] We're so, I mean, even right now, what's happening in the world, we're so inundated with information.

[00:18:58] We have social media.

[00:19:00] We have traditional media.

[00:19:01] We have your mom called, your sister called, your significant other, your friend, something happened at work, like, your kids.

[00:19:07] Like, all these things are happening.

[00:19:09] We're so focused.

[00:19:11] Now, honestly, I think that's something we have to unlearn, but we're so focused on everything going on around us that we don't take the time,

[00:19:17] or maybe we didn't learn how to take the time to do our own inner work, which is critically important for your growth.

[00:19:24] You cannot grow without doing the inner work that you need.

[00:19:27] Which is the hardest work.

[00:19:28] It's very hard.

[00:19:29] The inner work is the hardest work.

[00:19:30] It's hard.

[00:19:30] I mean, just to go on a slight tangent, you know, when my book was published in 2014 called Successing Your Own Terms,

[00:19:37] it has these six components we walk through.

[00:19:39] Yeah.

[00:19:39] And a third of the book, I want to say, is about identifying your passion and purpose.

[00:19:44] Mm-hmm.

[00:19:45] And it's so interesting.

[00:19:46] When I would be out speaking and we even developed a workbook, people want to jump to the action set, right?

[00:19:51] Okay, how do I find a mentor?

[00:19:53] How do I find a sponsor?

[00:19:55] Yep.

[00:19:55] How do I identify a recommendation?

[00:19:56] Oh, back up.

[00:19:57] The inner work.

[00:19:59] Yes.

[00:20:00] Identifying, let's go back, gifts and talents.

[00:20:02] I don't know my gifts and talents.

[00:20:03] Okay, what are the things you do easily?

[00:20:05] Right.

[00:20:06] That if you actually applied some work to, it would be phenomenal.

[00:20:09] Yeah.

[00:20:10] What are the things you wanted to do when you were 12 or 13 years old?

[00:20:12] Oh, hold up.

[00:20:14] Mm-hmm.

[00:20:15] Before someone told you you had to make income.

[00:20:16] Yeah.

[00:20:17] Oh.

[00:20:18] Huh.

[00:20:18] Yeah, that's good.

[00:20:18] Are you doing some of that?

[00:20:19] If that's the things that fire you up.

[00:20:22] Exactly.

[00:20:22] And you feel called to, how do we get some of that in your life?

[00:20:25] And so all those conversations of the inner work are the harder-

[00:20:30] It is hard.

[00:20:30] Conversation.

[00:20:31] It takes a lot more time.

[00:20:33] Mm-hmm.

[00:20:33] But it gives you, to me, really fertile ground to work with.

[00:20:37] Yeah.

[00:20:37] Once you have that inside you, because you, to me, becomes filters as well.

[00:20:41] And I would say there's levels to inner work.

[00:20:44] Yeah.

[00:20:44] There's definitely levels.

[00:20:45] So unfortunately, we know there's a stigma with mental health treatment.

[00:20:48] So maybe someone listening to this right now is like, there's no way I would ever go to

[00:20:52] therapy because of the stigma.

[00:20:53] You don't believe in it.

[00:20:54] Whatever it is.

[00:20:55] There's a lot of different reasons for that.

[00:20:57] Then the baby step, because sometimes we have to take baby steps before we leap, which

[00:21:01] is fine.

[00:21:01] Sure.

[00:21:02] The baby step to that, I always highly encourage people, take a minute a day then for yourself.

[00:21:07] Like you can time yourself with your cell phone.

[00:21:09] 60 seconds.

[00:21:10] You make that commitment to yourself.

[00:21:13] You're going to reset.

[00:21:14] You're going to recharge.

[00:21:15] If you need to take some deep breaths, if you believe in prayer, if you need to drink a

[00:21:20] cup of tea, like whatever it is during that time, you take that time for you every day because

[00:21:25] your brain needs to slow down.

[00:21:26] Your brain needs to reset, recharge.

[00:21:28] And what I found a lot is that we can also learn a lot about ourselves when we take even

[00:21:35] a minute as a start.

[00:21:36] So start there.

[00:21:37] I mean, there's a lot of things, again, we need to be doing for inner work, but I'd rather

[00:21:41] people do baby steps than nothing at all.

[00:21:44] Absolutely.

[00:21:44] To your point of we need that time for reflection.

[00:21:47] I am a, I've become a EQ nut.

[00:21:50] Okay.

[00:21:50] I love, I got turned on to the aspects of emotional intelligence probably 15 years ago when

[00:21:57] I was still leading teams in a large organization.

[00:22:00] And what for me, the finding was, is not the technical skills are easy.

[00:22:05] I'm not saying that by any stretch.

[00:22:06] Yeah.

[00:22:06] But the soft skills, the EQ pieces, awareness, ability to adapt, ability to be flexible,

[00:22:13] fungible, ability to take criticism and actually use it.

[00:22:18] Those are hard.

[00:22:20] Yeah.

[00:22:20] And so I started working on myself and I'm still a work in progress, obviously, but I

[00:22:24] have a heightened sense of awareness.

[00:22:26] And so there's a couple of things I know.

[00:22:28] One, I know I'm a workaholic, but in that way, it's a part of my self value issue, which

[00:22:35] is, I'm not going to unpack that now, but I'll just say, listen, didn't feel like I had

[00:22:38] the affirmation I needed from my dad, started getting it through work and so goes, right?

[00:22:43] So I need accomplishments sometimes to fill.

[00:22:46] And so I work on trying to keep that in control, knowing myself, right?

[00:22:51] So to your point of self-awareness, I've got a list of things I kind of check in with me

[00:22:55] on, right?

[00:22:56] I've got my time in the morning for devotions and prayer and whatnot.

[00:23:00] But I'll also say this.

[00:23:01] I know I can fill up my calendar to the T.

[00:23:05] I know in every moment I feel like it needs to be productive and I'm not, it's a subconscious

[00:23:10] thing.

[00:23:11] And here's what I found one day about a year or so ago.

[00:23:13] We had an electrical outage in our building and my wife has this generator thing near the

[00:23:18] front door that we can take and plug things into, but I didn't feel like doing it in

[00:23:22] the moment.

[00:23:22] I'm like, we'll be okay with the electric candles and whatnot.

[00:23:25] Can I tell you, I found so much peace, not having any electricity, just being in a quiet

[00:23:32] room with an electric candle and deciding if I want to read a book or not, or just kind

[00:23:37] of chill out.

[00:23:38] That's good.

[00:23:39] And I remember saying, oh, this is so good.

[00:23:41] Yeah.

[00:23:42] Yeah.

[00:23:42] Because even when we get in the car, there was a time I would ride in the car and like

[00:23:45] listen to the raindrops.

[00:23:46] Now I got an audible book on all the time.

[00:23:48] There's always something.

[00:23:49] Yes.

[00:23:50] And so I've learned to find the preciousness in quiet.

[00:23:55] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:56] Yeah.

[00:23:57] It's a real thing.

[00:23:58] And to your point, a lot of us don't even know how stressed we are until we get into the

[00:24:04] quiet time.

[00:24:05] Mm-hmm.

[00:24:05] When your body relaxes and you're like, oh, I didn't realize I was on this fight or flight

[00:24:10] mode.

[00:24:11] Like, our bodies don't lie to us.

[00:24:13] So, like you said, and it's for many of us, myself included.

[00:24:16] Like, we're entrepreneurs and we're doing all these things.

[00:24:19] And it's like, and then you relax and you're like, oh, my body just is trying to settle.

[00:24:24] Yes.

[00:24:24] Blood pressure goes down.

[00:24:26] Like, everything just resets.

[00:24:28] And your brain, too, needs a break.

[00:24:31] Our brains need breaks.

[00:24:32] Mm-hmm.

[00:24:33] We're not, or at least I don't remember being taught that growing up.

[00:24:36] It was just a go, go, go, like I said, mentality.

[00:24:38] Achieve, achieve, achieve.

[00:24:40] Which, there's nothing wrong with that.

[00:24:42] I was talking to an organization the other day and they're like, you know, some organizations

[00:24:45] have issues.

[00:24:46] Like, well, we still want our employees to work hard.

[00:24:48] I'm like, oh, no, no.

[00:24:48] They still need to work hard.

[00:24:49] Right.

[00:24:50] But also, we need to take care of ourselves.

[00:24:52] So, it is work hard, hustle hard, all those things.

[00:24:55] And also, have the downtime.

[00:24:57] Take care of yourself.

[00:24:57] Otherwise, you're going to burn out.

[00:24:59] Yes.

[00:24:59] You're not going to be productive.

[00:25:00] You're not going to show up as the best version of yourself for your work, for your family,

[00:25:04] for whomever it is you have around you.

[00:25:05] Yeah.

[00:25:05] So, why not work on taking care of ourselves?

[00:25:09] And again, sometimes it starts as baby steps, which is okay.

[00:25:11] We're all at different places in our wellness journey.

[00:25:13] So, I'm going to start with the hardest example, right?

[00:25:16] How do you get the overachiever to do that?

[00:25:19] What have you found successful to break through the overachiever who's always at it, always putting points on the board, top five in their field, maybe?

[00:25:28] How do you, Dr. Hammond, how do you get them to stop and self-reflect and take care of yourself?

[00:25:34] Yeah.

[00:25:34] So, thus far, the biggest way is to understand that the self-reflection doesn't have to mean this week off of work.

[00:25:43] You have these whole days off.

[00:25:45] Oh, it means you have to—I mean, vacations are important, but it's not only that.

[00:25:49] That's why I always challenge people taking the minute because a lot of overachievers are like, okay, well, I could do that.

[00:25:55] And I know myself personally.

[00:25:56] I started with that because I was like, oh, I don't have time for self-care and all these sorts of things, which, you know, it is what it is.

[00:26:02] We got to change our mentality here.

[00:26:03] But it's the smallest things that you can do which have the greatest benefits.

[00:26:09] All of us have 60 seconds a day.

[00:26:12] And it really—it trains your brain to know I deserve to have—I deserve to be emotionally healthy.

[00:26:20] I deserve to have joy.

[00:26:21] I deserve to have a break.

[00:26:23] I deserve to be productive.

[00:26:24] It helps your productivity.

[00:26:26] There's studies on this, taking the short breaks a day.

[00:26:28] You don't have to take a three-hour lunch break.

[00:26:30] Nobody's asked you to do that.

[00:26:32] Heaven forbid, right?

[00:26:33] We don't lose our productivity here.

[00:26:35] And I'm not—I am not advocating, please let the break a show, for a three-hour lunch break.

[00:26:39] I'm not saying that, but, like, the quick, short breaks, those make a world of difference.

[00:26:45] So that's why I say to the overteers, and I totally get that life.

[00:26:48] There was a moment in time—I'm not proud of it—but there was a moment in time years ago where I was averaging, like, two, three, four hours of sleep a night on purpose.

[00:26:55] Right.

[00:26:55] Like, that was my choice.

[00:26:56] I was like, yeah, I don't need to sleep.

[00:26:58] Like, I can be more productive, which is ridiculous for your physical health and mental health.

[00:27:02] It led to brain fog, attention issues.

[00:27:05] You can't concentrate.

[00:27:08] You're irritable.

[00:27:08] Like, it's not healthy at all for you.

[00:27:11] So now, one of my non-negotiables is, like, okay, making sure most nights—getting, like, seven hours and up to sleep unless, you know, I have a flight.

[00:27:19] Unless I have a flight and get at two in the morning.

[00:27:21] Unless I have a flight and get at two in the morning, which does happen sometimes.

[00:27:23] You could have kind of done eight, right?

[00:27:25] You could have got up at ten and still made it.

[00:27:26] Oh, but I had a board meeting this morning.

[00:27:28] Oh, okay.

[00:27:28] All right.

[00:27:29] So not my fault.

[00:27:30] Okay.

[00:27:30] Not my fault.

[00:27:31] All right.

[00:27:31] So, yeah, I had a board meeting, so I was like, okay, well, let's get up for that.

[00:27:34] But, no, it really does, for the overteamer, no.

[00:27:37] So, and also knowing, and I'm not just saying there's plenty of research on this, knowing that when you do take the short amount of downtime, it really does help you with your creativity.

[00:27:46] It helps you with your productivity.

[00:27:48] It helps you to achieve more.

[00:27:49] Yeah.

[00:27:49] If you're an overachiever, you want to achieve, well, that's one of the ways to do that.

[00:27:52] That's one of the paths to do that.

[00:27:54] Yeah.

[00:27:54] You know, I was reading a statistic from the World Health Organization.

[00:27:58] Depression is a leading cause of disability worldwide, affecting over 264 million people.

[00:28:06] Now, I knew the number was huge.

[00:28:08] Yeah.

[00:28:08] But I think it was two things.

[00:28:09] One was the enormity of the number.

[00:28:12] The other was disability.

[00:28:16] And I've heard you say this in one of your talks, that mental illness is an invisible disability.

[00:28:23] Yep.

[00:28:26] Two questions.

[00:28:27] One, the prevalence of depression, is that the leading mental health illness?

[00:28:31] Yes.

[00:28:32] It is.

[00:28:32] Depression and anxiety, depending on where you're at, but depression and anxiety, for sure.

[00:28:36] Okay.

[00:28:36] Depression and anxiety.

[00:28:37] Yeah.

[00:28:38] Those two.

[00:28:38] Do those anxiety numbers kind of rival depression numbers?

[00:28:41] It can, depending on a lot of different factors.

[00:28:44] But what happens a lot of times, it's called what's called comorbid, which means they occur

[00:28:49] together.

[00:28:50] Got it.

[00:28:50] Comorbid diagnosis.

[00:28:51] Comorbid is.

[00:28:52] Yes.

[00:28:52] So like the anxiety will lead to the depression.

[00:28:54] Then the depression after a while will lead to the anxiety.

[00:28:56] And it's like a cycle for a lot of people.

[00:28:58] Yeah.

[00:28:58] A lot of people have both.

[00:28:59] So if you have both, are you ping-ponging back and forth?

[00:29:03] Yes.

[00:29:03] Many times.

[00:29:04] Bipolar almost.

[00:29:06] It would be, bipolar would be under a different category.

[00:29:09] That's a different category.

[00:29:09] Yeah.

[00:29:09] Different category.

[00:29:10] Yeah.

[00:29:10] Different category.

[00:29:11] But, but yeah, it is, it is a cycle.

[00:29:14] The good news though, is that a lot of people, when they learn and understand the triggers

[00:29:18] of it, they can prevent the cycle from happening.

[00:29:23] Okay.

[00:29:24] So back to my point of the knee injury and that vignette of, can we unintentionally attribute

[00:29:32] a lot of things to it when it may not be it?

[00:29:35] Part one.

[00:29:35] But then part two, what have you learned from a treatment perspective?

[00:29:39] Right?

[00:29:40] Because one of the things for me, again, having people I know who, who, who, who have the

[00:29:45] challenge, I have a heart for them, but I also have a heart for them because they've

[00:29:49] shared the challenge with me.

[00:29:51] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:51] You know, if you've got a broken leg, when you pull up to the restaurant and try to get

[00:29:55] it, everyone helps you.

[00:29:57] Yeah.

[00:29:58] As you come up the ramp, people are like, hey, move out the way.

[00:30:00] Let them go up in the line.

[00:30:01] We don't want them standing too long.

[00:30:02] Yep.

[00:30:03] Open the door for them.

[00:30:04] Make sure when they get inside for the waiting area, give them the seat.

[00:30:07] Yep.

[00:30:07] We can help what we physically see.

[00:30:09] Yes.

[00:30:10] When you have the invisible disability, how do you get help?

[00:30:15] It's really hard.

[00:30:16] My hope for society, honestly, is that we learn to be more empathic for people because we do

[00:30:23] not know what goes on behind closed doors in people's lives.

[00:30:26] If we really seriously took that approach and understood the person standing in front of

[00:30:31] you, you don't know if they're falling apart.

[00:30:32] Right.

[00:30:32] You don't know if someone in their family just died, if they just lost their job, if they

[00:30:36] just got a divorce, if they're going through whatever they're going through, mental battles,

[00:30:40] you don't know that.

[00:30:41] So it really does take a step.

[00:30:44] It really does take the step for us to recognize we're all going through something.

[00:30:49] We're all battling something.

[00:30:50] But it doesn't necessarily have to be clinical depression.

[00:30:53] But that step, I talk a lot about this in the workplace, but that step alone, especially

[00:30:57] empathic leadership and those sorts of things is really, really important because some people

[00:31:02] are not getting help because either they don't know they have clinical depression

[00:31:06] or they do know and recognize.

[00:31:09] But again, there's a stigma of mental health.

[00:31:10] So now it's like, well, I'm scared to see a therapist or I don't have the money or I

[00:31:14] don't have the insurance or whatever the case may be.

[00:31:17] But what we've also found in the research is the social connection, like the human connection,

[00:31:25] it's so impactful and it's a lot more impactful than we know.

[00:31:27] So people I've spoken to, people I've sat down with one-on-one and spoken to who were at

[00:31:34] the darkest points of their lives, who were literally at the point where they were going

[00:31:37] to take their life at that point.

[00:31:40] They told me what saved them was that in that moment, someone called them or text them

[00:31:47] or reached out in some way.

[00:31:49] And in that dark mental place they were in, they were like, okay, someone cares about

[00:31:54] me.

[00:31:54] Yeah.

[00:31:54] And it literally stopped.

[00:31:56] Just that.

[00:31:57] Yes.

[00:31:57] Just that alone.

[00:31:58] And I'm not saying that's the only thing, of course, I don't want to minimize this, but

[00:32:01] that always just gives me chills when I think about, like, this is not something I read out

[00:32:05] of a book.

[00:32:06] Like, these are people telling me this.

[00:32:08] Right.

[00:32:08] Like one-on-one conversations.

[00:32:11] And just how much we forget that human connection and how important that is.

[00:32:17] Because again, just because someone doesn't want to go to therapy, I mean, are we going

[00:32:21] to crucify them for having depression or crucify them because they have an anxiety disorder

[00:32:25] when as a community we can work on helping people too?

[00:32:29] We don't all have to be mental health professionals.

[00:32:31] Actually, we can't.

[00:32:31] Because there's billions of people in the world.

[00:32:33] Right.

[00:32:33] Billions of people in the world.

[00:32:35] Right.

[00:32:35] But we can really work on, like, how do you check in with people?

[00:32:39] Are you like, hey, are you okay?

[00:32:40] Like I said, this has saved people's lives I've spoken with.

[00:32:44] Yeah.

[00:32:44] A text message.

[00:32:45] An email.

[00:32:46] Just checking in.

[00:32:47] I'm just checking in on you.

[00:32:48] Literally.

[00:32:48] Yeah.

[00:32:49] And they literally, anyways, they, yeah, obviously I was talking to them.

[00:32:52] They did not take their lives because of that.

[00:32:55] Yeah.

[00:32:55] And I'm like, man, I mean, God is intervening, I think.

[00:32:57] But also, but also just the human connection of that is, it's very impactful.

[00:33:04] You mentioned the word, that's one of my favorite words, empathy.

[00:33:07] Yes.

[00:33:08] I love it.

[00:33:09] I love, here's why I love the word.

[00:33:11] I just think there's, in communication, I just think there's levels of, you know, listening,

[00:33:16] which is to me an audible capability to listen.

[00:33:20] I'm sorry, hearing, but listening is now taking that audible and turning it into something.

[00:33:24] And obviously effective listening is I'm actually playing back parts of it to confirm the message

[00:33:29] you intended to receive was received that way.

[00:33:31] But then to me, that next level is empathy.

[00:33:34] I begin to feel what you feel in this specific space.

[00:33:38] What do levels of empathy look like?

[00:33:43] So it's, it can be easier for some of us to identify with someone.

[00:33:47] If you went through the same exact experience as me, maybe it's easier for me to identify

[00:33:51] that's one level of empathy.

[00:33:52] But also the, another level of empathy is maybe you didn't have any of that lived experience

[00:33:58] that the person is telling you about.

[00:34:00] But when you, if you put humanity into the equation and you understand there's still a

[00:34:05] person in front of you, like it's still a hardship for them, whatever it is that they're telling

[00:34:11] you.

[00:34:11] Yes.

[00:34:12] You may not have had this exact experience that they had, but like, it's your fellow

[00:34:18] like human in front of you.

[00:34:19] Like they deserve to, to be treated with respect.

[00:34:22] They deserve to have someone who cares about them.

[00:34:24] They deserve a listening ear too.

[00:34:25] Like all of us deserve that no matter what we've been through.

[00:34:27] I've met, I've met many people who, I mean, I don't have the same lived experience, but

[00:34:32] that's okay.

[00:34:33] Right.

[00:34:33] Right.

[00:34:33] But I still care about you as a person.

[00:34:35] And there's, I've met just, I'm very blessed.

[00:34:39] I would say to have met and continue to meet outstanding people, like amazing, caring, compassionate

[00:34:46] people.

[00:34:47] Yeah.

[00:34:47] So it exists.

[00:34:49] It's just a matter of connecting those sad people too, to the people who are hurting,

[00:34:55] who need a listening ear and just need more support.

[00:34:59] Do you find that when you express to people the opportunity to be that empathetic person,

[00:35:05] most people typically get it and want to act?

[00:35:08] Oh yes.

[00:35:08] Yeah.

[00:35:09] Yes.

[00:35:10] Cause even in leadership, it's the same thing.

[00:35:12] I'm like, and again, I'm not saying our leaders here are, you know, corporate leaders

[00:35:17] need to be mental health professionals by any means, but it, it, it means something different

[00:35:22] when you understand what your employee is going through, when you make an assumption

[00:35:25] and you're like, well, that person's just not doing their work.

[00:35:27] They didn't show up for work and all sorts of things, but like, but what's happening

[00:35:30] at home?

[00:35:31] And then you find out something, it, it, it gives you a greater level of awareness, greater

[00:35:35] level of empathy.

[00:35:36] Maybe we could tweak some things.

[00:35:37] Let's help them out through this hardship time that they're going through.

[00:35:41] And then they come back better than ever.

[00:35:43] Right.

[00:35:43] So yeah.

[00:35:45] Right.

[00:35:45] Now, um, in your work, I know you're author, I know you're out speaking, I know you're

[00:35:50] providing, um, coaching, counseling, consulting to organizations.

[00:35:56] Do you also do as one-on-one a part of your practice?

[00:35:59] Um, I, when I'm, when I am at the practice part of the time, I do evaluation, psychological

[00:36:04] evaluations.

[00:36:04] So like learning disabilities, ADHD evaluations, um, for children and adults.

[00:36:10] And that is interesting as well.

[00:36:11] Going back to what we were talking about before with the reflection, because a lot of times

[00:36:14] we want to jump into treatment, but we don't know what, what in the world is going on

[00:36:17] with this person.

[00:36:17] Right.

[00:36:18] Right.

[00:36:18] And it's like, wait a minute, they had ADHD or they have depression, anxiety, trauma,

[00:36:23] whatever it is that they're going through now, I can say, here's this information to

[00:36:28] give to a therapist who would do the treatment side, but they know what's going on.

[00:36:31] Gotcha.

[00:36:32] So.

[00:36:32] Gotcha.

[00:36:32] Okay.

[00:36:33] How is, um, or not is teletherapy playing a role in your ability to serve patients?

[00:36:40] Um, so I, that was a big thing or bigger thing that came about, of course, through

[00:36:47] COBRA, which I'm excited about.

[00:36:48] I don't, I don't personally do therapy, but I know a lot of individuals who do, which is

[00:36:52] outstanding.

[00:36:53] I'm excited for that modality because some people for a lot of different reasons cannot

[00:36:56] get out the house.

[00:36:57] Right.

[00:36:58] Maybe it's transportation.

[00:36:59] Maybe they're fearful.

[00:37:01] There's a lot of different reasons and it, it, it opens up access to more people to receive

[00:37:06] therapy.

[00:37:06] Yeah.

[00:37:07] So I'm, I'm elated about teletherapy.

[00:37:09] There's pros and cons of course, but we're all definitely opening up.

[00:37:13] Do you find that, um, I know for a while, um, did you find that, um, I know for a while,

[00:37:18] dealing with mental health, particularly in the black community was almost taboo, not

[00:37:21] talked about.

[00:37:22] Uh, it feels like we're much more open now.

[00:37:25] Yeah.

[00:37:25] That's what it feels like when you look at it from a, what I want to say from a published

[00:37:30] social perspective.

[00:37:31] Is that what you see as well?

[00:37:33] I see it moving in that direction for sure.

[00:37:35] There's definitely still the stigma, especially like I said, in black and brown communities,

[00:37:38] but I do see it moving better in the direction of understanding mental health and treatment

[00:37:43] because celebrities are coming forward and people are saying, Hey, I'm, I have issues

[00:37:48] too.

[00:37:48] I'm going to therapy.

[00:37:49] It's okay.

[00:37:50] I have my coach or whomever does.

[00:37:51] I have.

[00:37:52] So they're normalizing depression and anxiety and the things that are happening, which like

[00:37:57] you read the stat, these are, this is millions of millions.

[00:38:01] So people often think they're alone.

[00:38:03] Millions of people, millions of people around the globe going through.

[00:38:06] And this is the reported statistic.

[00:38:07] Yeah.

[00:38:08] Right.

[00:38:08] There's millions more people who haven't reported that they're going through this.

[00:38:13] And it's, it's funny.

[00:38:14] Um, I'll throw myself out there.

[00:38:16] There was a time that for me, 10, 15 years ago, I needed to go to therapy for something,

[00:38:23] but it was very specific and the issue I wanted to deal with fast forward, you know, three

[00:38:27] years ago, I kind of said, man, I think it would be healthy to have a, uh, uh, a therapist.

[00:38:33] And my thought was as follows, right?

[00:38:36] Like, man, if I'm working out and I want to bulk up or do this to be on a football team

[00:38:41] or so on and so forth, you have no qualms about having a personal coach.

[00:38:45] No qualms whatsoever.

[00:38:47] Right.

[00:38:47] Sign me up, get that person.

[00:38:49] I've seen them do it for other people.

[00:38:51] Why do we, why, why am I doing this when it comes to this?

[00:38:55] So I finally, I think I use better help to find my first, um, therapist.

[00:38:59] And then, uh, it didn't work out with that one for, uh, whatever reason.

[00:39:03] It just didn't feel like we had a rhythm.

[00:39:05] And then I found the second person.

[00:39:07] And now I think we've been at it for, I feel like 18 months and never met face to face.

[00:39:13] It's been all video and it's been totally fine.

[00:39:16] And some of the things that he's helped me, uh, unlock, identify and whatnot.

[00:39:22] I'm so much better for it.

[00:39:24] So I just want to say to everyone listening, you know, when you see the better help commercials,

[00:39:27] whatever, and I'm not endorsing it, they're not a sponsor.

[00:39:29] They should be actually, I'm saying if anybody from better help is listening and you have,

[00:39:32] or you have economic interest, call me, uh, 302-894-7805.

[00:39:36] Um, but seriously, use the resources, right?

[00:39:40] And, um, some of them will be in your medical plan.

[00:39:44] Some of them won't.

[00:39:45] Right.

[00:39:45] Um, but use the resources.

[00:39:48] Yeah.

[00:39:48] And there's so many great resources out there.

[00:39:50] Yeah.

[00:39:50] Um, the, the national Alliance on, um, national Alliance on mental illness, NAMI, they have

[00:39:57] support groups all over the country, virtual support groups, in-person support groups,

[00:40:01] American psychological association.

[00:40:03] You can find a psychologist, like there's a lot of great resources all over, but we got

[00:40:06] to use it.

[00:40:07] I want to ask you about early intervention.

[00:40:09] Is early intervention in this space a thing?

[00:40:13] It is so how important?

[00:40:15] Extremely important.

[00:40:17] I'm glad you asked because they're earlier, especially when it comes to kids, the earlier

[00:40:23] you can intervene.

[00:40:24] The more important, all the research study shows, the better the outcomes, but it's the

[00:40:28] same thing as adults too.

[00:40:29] So maybe, maybe not a child listening to this, but the earlier you understand, man, I need

[00:40:34] to start changing my mindset.

[00:40:35] I need to start working on my growth.

[00:40:37] I need to make my mental health a priority.

[00:40:40] The earlier you get to that, the better your results are for your life.

[00:40:44] Yeah.

[00:40:45] And this is why I'm really passionate about this work because I know how life-changing

[00:40:49] it is.

[00:40:50] I've seen it.

[00:40:51] I've seen it in my personal life, but I've also seen it in lives of many, many other people.

[00:40:55] Like when that light bulb goes off and you're like, wait a minute, I have to make myself

[00:40:59] my number one priority.

[00:41:00] I have to take care of my physical health, emotional, spiritual, and mental.

[00:41:04] When you really get to that place, you're not trying to go back, right?

[00:41:07] Like when you really get to that place, then you start to take the steps to take care

[00:41:11] of yourself.

[00:41:11] But the earlier, the better.

[00:41:13] So early intervention, key.

[00:41:14] So how do you do early intervention?

[00:41:18] So if you're a parent, are there certain things you're probing for or symptoms you should be

[00:41:24] aware of?

[00:41:25] Yes.

[00:41:25] Yes.

[00:41:26] So for parents, and actually, sadly, the research studies show that it takes years sometimes.

[00:41:32] So like a kid may have an issue when they're like four years old and parents are like,

[00:41:36] well, maybe they'll outgrow it and maybe this will change.

[00:41:38] And then they're like 11, 12, 13, 14 years old.

[00:41:41] And then you start to get help, which is very problematic because there's a lot of heartache

[00:41:46] and pain and suspensions and getting in trouble and conflict at home that could have been prevented.

[00:41:51] So the earlier you see issues, whether it's they're having issues with sleeping, they're

[00:41:57] having issues with eating, they're not doing as well as they used to do in school.

[00:42:01] Now you're seeing problems with their friendships.

[00:42:03] They're saying they want to hurt themselves.

[00:42:06] Like all those sorts of things are red flags.

[00:42:07] Yeah.

[00:42:08] But it's, it's, it's a mindset to say as a parent, you know what?

[00:42:12] I think something's very off.

[00:42:14] Let me check in with a mental health professional and they'll let you know because you may be

[00:42:18] wrong.

[00:42:19] You may get to the mental health professional.

[00:42:20] They're like, you know what?

[00:42:21] Actually your child is having adjustment issues.

[00:42:23] They're just entering sixth grade, for example, which is very common for middle schoolers.

[00:42:27] Or they may say, you know what?

[00:42:28] This is outside the norm of sixth graders.

[00:42:31] Like they have clinical depression or anxiety or ADHD or whatever it is that's going on.

[00:42:35] But it's, it's important to check in with that mental health professional.

[00:42:38] Okay.

[00:42:39] So I'm going to go super deep for a second just because I think this is such a practical

[00:42:43] point that could be helpful.

[00:42:45] So, because I was going to say, when you say, you know, maybe they'll grow out of it.

[00:42:48] I was going to ask you like, what is it?

[00:42:50] But you listed some that to me were really helpful.

[00:42:52] Well, one, obviously if they said they're going to hurt themselves, that's a like glaring red

[00:42:56] flag, but not being able to sleep, not being able to complete homework, maybe isolated

[00:43:01] themselves.

[00:43:02] Yes.

[00:43:02] Maybe.

[00:43:05] The other one that's pretty common is behavior problems.

[00:43:07] I will say yes for some of our little ones, the little teeny tiny ones, two, three, four.

[00:43:10] Yes.

[00:43:11] There's some behavior problems that can get better just naturally within maturing.

[00:43:14] However, it's, you really have to look at how often is this happening?

[00:43:19] What, I mean, is this happening on a daily basis with the teachers?

[00:43:22] That's problematic, right?

[00:43:23] Right.

[00:43:23] No matter what length of time, or are you talking about a once in a while type of issue?

[00:43:27] Those are two completely separate issues.

[00:43:30] And how is life at home?

[00:43:32] You don't, I mean, are you struggling every single day with homework?

[00:43:36] Are you yelling at this child every single day?

[00:43:38] Like how, you don't have to be in that type of conflict and struggle because there are

[00:43:43] ways that you can learn through therapy, for example, or through a psychological evaluation,

[00:43:48] like what is really going on with this child?

[00:43:50] Right.

[00:43:50] And then how do we best help them?

[00:43:52] Like putting a solution in place.

[00:43:53] Like you said earlier, with even the physical health, we'll be like, oh, let's go to the

[00:43:57] gym or, oh, let's find a personal trainer and tell us what to eat and tell us how to

[00:44:00] exercise.

[00:44:01] We'll do all of that.

[00:44:02] But for kids, it's the same thing.

[00:44:04] Like what are, what's really happening with them?

[00:44:06] Let someone tell you, a mental health professional tell you, like, here's the things that are

[00:44:09] happening and here's how best to help them.

[00:44:13] Because how you help this child over here is not the same as you would help their sibling

[00:44:16] necessarily.

[00:44:17] Right.

[00:44:17] Right.

[00:44:18] Because there's different personalities.

[00:44:19] Yeah.

[00:44:19] So let's talk about the mental health professional too, because one of the things I can imagine

[00:44:22] is, and maybe it's just me, I just feel like there's been an emergence of emergency care

[00:44:27] facilities.

[00:44:29] Right.

[00:44:29] And I think for, man, I don't even want to unpack this whole thing, but I'm just going

[00:44:34] to say it.

[00:44:35] I think, again, back to how we do some other things with our cars, you buy a car, they tell

[00:44:41] you, here's the maintenance schedule.

[00:44:43] Stay in front of it.

[00:44:44] Do the oil every 3,000, 6,000, check the brakes every 12,000.

[00:44:48] Yep.

[00:44:48] And many of us who like our cars will abide by the schedule because we know maintenance

[00:44:53] is better than repair.

[00:44:54] When the brakes go and the rotors go, you're paying.

[00:44:58] Yeah.

[00:44:58] When that air conditioning system goes, you are paying.

[00:45:02] When something happens with the stabilizers and the chassis, you are paying.

[00:45:06] So you do the maintenance.

[00:45:07] Yeah.

[00:45:07] With healthcare, it seems sometimes we are reactive.

[00:45:11] It seems we don't want to get the annual checkup.

[00:45:14] We don't want to get whatever.

[00:45:16] If you want to do the flu shots, whatever.

[00:45:17] But you get my point, right?

[00:45:19] Yeah.

[00:45:19] Getting your dental work checked out every now and then.

[00:45:21] So one is just the preventative versus the reactive.

[00:45:25] Yes.

[00:45:26] And being able to do that.

[00:45:27] And then the second thing, again, when I watch the emergence of the emergency care centers,

[00:45:32] it feels like we're even more reactive because those places, and I want you to correct me if

[00:45:38] I'm wrong, seem built on reactive care.

[00:45:41] Yeah.

[00:45:41] But tell me if I'm wrong.

[00:45:42] Yeah.

[00:45:42] No, that happened, especially during the pandemic.

[00:45:44] The rate of psychiatric hospitalizations for youth was through the roof for a lot of different

[00:45:50] reasons.

[00:45:51] But exactly that.

[00:45:52] We have to, as a society, we have to unlearn this idea of wait until things are so bad,

[00:45:59] falling apart.

[00:46:00] Now our families are falling apart and our kids are falling apart.

[00:46:02] Now they're having a hospitalization.

[00:46:05] There's a high chance there's a lot that happened before then that, like you said, could have

[00:46:10] been prevented.

[00:46:11] Yeah.

[00:46:12] But you have to take the steps early.

[00:46:14] Yeah.

[00:46:14] So for most kids, they're not going from zero to a hundred.

[00:46:19] Like they're not going from, they're okay one day and the next day they're in a psychiatric

[00:46:22] hospital.

[00:46:22] Right.

[00:46:22] Like it doesn't work like that.

[00:46:24] Right.

[00:46:24] There's a lot of warning signs.

[00:46:25] Most times there's a lot of red flags and there's a lot of things that you can do at

[00:46:29] home also, but you have to learn the tools for that.

[00:46:32] So before it comes, the pimple that needs to be popped and it's a small little thing,

[00:46:37] right?

[00:46:37] It could be, it could be months, maybe even years beforehand.

[00:46:42] Yeah.

[00:46:42] And hopefully, and hopefully we don't wait years.

[00:46:44] Right.

[00:46:44] I'm, I'm honestly okay.

[00:46:46] Sometimes, I mean, and of course, you know, kids have bad days too.

[00:46:49] So it may not be a day or a week or maybe it is a couple months, but hopefully it's not

[00:46:53] years.

[00:46:53] No, my point is we don't want people.

[00:46:55] We don't want people.

[00:46:56] My point is don't let it fester.

[00:46:57] Oh yeah, for sure.

[00:46:58] This is not age well.

[00:46:59] For sure.

[00:47:00] Right.

[00:47:00] So that's part one.

[00:47:01] Part two, I guess then is what does good, what does a good process look like?

[00:47:05] Is this something that if you are the person who has the family doctor, you start the conversation

[00:47:10] there and then they're going to refer you to.

[00:47:12] Okay.

[00:47:12] Yeah.

[00:47:12] And a lot of people feel more comfortable that way, which I'm okay with.

[00:47:15] It's, it can be hard sometimes to pick up that phone and give a mental health professional

[00:47:20] a call.

[00:47:21] But a lot of people feel more comfortable, like you said, talking with a family doctor,

[00:47:24] medical pediatricians or whatnot.

[00:47:27] Like we have a lot of, they have a lot of conversations too about mental health and they

[00:47:30] can say, you know what, this is looking like something.

[00:47:32] Yeah.

[00:47:32] Here's a referral for a mental health professional or here's a referral to get an assessment,

[00:47:36] which of course is what I do.

[00:47:38] I'm biased on that highly, highly recommended for a lot of people, but here's how you figure

[00:47:43] out what's going on so that you can best help your child.

[00:47:46] And if, and if they say, well, listen, I went to the family doctor and I mean, no disrespect

[00:47:52] to family doctors because they have a lot on their plate, but sometimes, sometimes people

[00:47:55] find themselves in a situation and we feel a little dismissed.

[00:47:59] All right.

[00:48:00] Yeah.

[00:48:01] Jack's just, you know, acting out and you as the parent, you have to be their advocate.

[00:48:07] Yes.

[00:48:07] You have to be their advocate.

[00:48:09] Yeah.

[00:48:09] I literally talked about that in one of my books before, like, yes, you hit the nail on

[00:48:13] the head.

[00:48:13] Like you have to be the advocate for your child because yes, that is a reality.

[00:48:18] Whether it's a teacher, whether it's a family doctor or whomever else, whether it's your own

[00:48:22] family member, some people are like, no, they're just a boy or they're just, you know, so hyperactive.

[00:48:27] It's not ADHD or it's not a learning issue.

[00:48:29] Like there'll be fine.

[00:48:30] Okay.

[00:48:30] But then they're not fine.

[00:48:37] You do reach out to certain professionals and you might have to get a second opinion, which

[00:48:41] is okay.

[00:48:42] I've done a lot of second opinion evaluations actually.

[00:48:45] So you might have to get a second opinion.

[00:48:47] You might have to not disclose to your family members who are not on board with you getting

[00:48:53] the help that you need.

[00:48:54] Right.

[00:48:54] That you're doing that.

[00:48:55] It's a confidential process.

[00:48:56] If you want to take your child therapy, you don't need to tell your whole entire family

[00:48:59] if you don't want to, if they're not supportive of you getting your child the help that they

[00:49:03] need.

[00:49:03] Right.

[00:49:04] So if the family doctor says, yeah, no, I don't think it's an issue.

[00:49:10] What is the, where is the place people should turn to, to find that mental health professional?

[00:49:14] Yeah.

[00:49:15] So, so throughout the country, American Psychological Association, they have a great tool to find a

[00:49:21] psychologist.

[00:49:22] NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness.

[00:49:24] They have a lot of different supports.

[00:49:28] Chad is an organization that helps with specifically with children and adults with ADHD.

[00:49:33] Okay.

[00:49:33] Helpguide.org.

[00:49:34] I mean, there's a lot of great tools that you can find online and you might have to do

[00:49:40] your own research.

[00:49:40] Yes.

[00:49:41] Like you said, if you do have that family doctor, I was like, nope, or whatever it is.

[00:49:44] The case may be, but the biggest thing to understand is what is in the best interest

[00:49:47] of your child?

[00:49:48] Yes.

[00:49:48] Go back to that.

[00:49:49] What is in the best interest of this child?

[00:49:51] How can I help their mental health?

[00:49:52] How can I help them academically?

[00:49:53] Yes.

[00:49:54] How can I help them physically or whatever their needs are?

[00:49:57] Yeah.

[00:49:58] Sometimes you have to have a team of people.

[00:49:59] Yeah.

[00:49:59] Sometimes kids need speech therapy, occupational therapy, mental health treatment, like, right?

[00:50:05] Yeah.

[00:50:06] Yeah.

[00:50:06] Get your team together.

[00:50:08] Get your professional team together.

[00:50:10] Get yourself some support too as a parent.

[00:50:12] That's good.

[00:50:13] Right?

[00:50:13] And put that team together.

[00:50:15] But your goal is to make sure that they're thriving.

[00:50:18] That's good.

[00:50:18] Well, them and you.

[00:50:19] Them and you, right.

[00:50:20] Absolutely.

[00:50:21] The family is thriving.

[00:50:21] Absolutely.

[00:50:23] Sonia Massey.

[00:50:25] In this recent shooting.

[00:50:30] I'm trying to gather my words for a second because I'm just like, when these moments happen,

[00:50:35] I always feel like I go through a range of emotions from anger to a deep pit of sadness to a pit of,

[00:50:48] man, will we ever make it out from this?

[00:50:52] And this is a, to me, a symptom of a much broader issue that we all know.

[00:50:59] Sometimes, you know, what feels like to me, I'm just going to label it this.

[00:51:02] And this is, listen, the words I'm speaking are not those of SiriusXM.

[00:51:05] I'm just going to say this, though, the disregard for human life and particularly so black and brown lives.

[00:51:12] And as a black man myself who, man, I'm just going to say, I remember years ago driving from Texas, Oklahoma to Texas,

[00:51:22] my fear was not of gangsters or somebody pulling me over and getting hurt, right?

[00:51:28] Or stopping somewhere and getting hurt that way.

[00:51:30] It was fear of cops.

[00:51:32] It was fear of.

[00:51:33] And so I don't want to go there as opposed to being honest about the fact that these things happen at a regularity that is just hard to put your head around, right?

[00:51:47] And I feel like when they happen, we all experience a range of trauma, right?

[00:51:55] For some of us, it's subtle.

[00:51:57] For some of us, it's hard.

[00:51:58] Oh, yeah.

[00:51:59] Right?

[00:51:59] Yeah.

[00:52:00] And so I just want to ask you as a professional in this space, is that, one, a reality that there's some trauma associated with it for us?

[00:52:08] I believe it is, but I want your medical professional.

[00:52:11] Your medical opinion.

[00:52:12] Your medical psychological opinion.

[00:52:14] And then two is, so how can we help ourselves to deal with it?

[00:52:19] Yeah.

[00:52:19] Great question.

[00:52:20] And I even think back to the George Floyd era, which was so difficult.

[00:52:28] I mean, the videos, the amount of racial trauma that, racial trauma is a real thing.

[00:52:35] Especially, like you said, for black and brown people, especially when these videos are in your face.

[00:52:41] I know for myself personally, this last one with Sonia, I will honestly say I wish I didn't watch.

[00:52:48] There was just certain angles of the video and certain parts, and I almost watched it too much.

[00:52:52] And it's extremely disturbing.

[00:52:54] Yeah.

[00:52:55] Finding out, I read somewhere, you know, she had a mental health issue.

[00:52:58] Like, I mean, and she said it in one of the videos.

[00:53:01] I took my medication today.

[00:53:03] Like, because they're like, are you okay mentally?

[00:53:04] It's like, I took my medication today.

[00:53:05] Okay, clearly you see someone struggling, but that's a whole other issue.

[00:53:09] But I think what we can all do, though, to protect our mental health is you really have to be careful of what you're consuming online.

[00:53:17] Racial trauma is real.

[00:53:19] So watching something, even though you didn't personally experience it, watching a shooting, murders, those sort of things that happen to people, especially people who look like you, can really affect your psyche.

[00:53:33] Yeah.

[00:53:34] Can really affect your mental health.

[00:53:35] I've heard stories that people were having nightmares from videos like that.

[00:53:39] I mean, because it becomes, it's just so ingrained in your mind, if you will.

[00:53:45] And so some people were having nightmares.

[00:53:46] Some people were afraid, understandably.

[00:53:48] I even saw, like, youth videos, too, like, afraid of the police.

[00:53:51] Like, there's a lot of things that can happen when you inundate yourself with that type of traumatic videos, if you will.

[00:54:01] So one way to protect your mental health is you might have to be like, you know what?

[00:54:05] You know this video is coming.

[00:54:06] Thankfully, a lot of times they're like, hey, it's a disturbing video coming.

[00:54:10] You don't need to watch a video multiple times.

[00:54:12] Right.

[00:54:13] If you did watch the video, though, and you're still having those reactions, have conversations with people that you trust around you to process it.

[00:54:20] It's something to process.

[00:54:21] Yeah.

[00:54:21] Yeah.

[00:54:22] It really is something to process.

[00:54:23] Like you said, you may feel anger.

[00:54:24] You may feel sadness.

[00:54:25] You may feel confusion.

[00:54:26] Now you're anxious.

[00:54:28] I mean, it's heavy.

[00:54:31] It's very heavy.

[00:54:33] Yeah.

[00:54:33] I agree with that.

[00:54:36] I think the process in part, in and of itself, is a process, right?

[00:54:42] Yes.

[00:54:42] Not to be.

[00:54:43] Yes.

[00:54:43] No pun intended.

[00:54:44] It is.

[00:54:45] Not an overnight process, for sure.

[00:54:46] Not overnight.

[00:54:47] And I think without a level of self-awareness to say, I need to process this.

[00:54:53] Yeah.

[00:54:53] And kind of put yourself in the bubble.

[00:54:56] Like, audience, imagine with me for a second if you were able to step outside of yourself and see yourself and then say, I need to put myself on this conveyor belt.

[00:55:05] And on that conveyor belt are several steps of acknowledging what this is and being honest on how you feel about it.

[00:55:13] Yes.

[00:55:13] Acknowledging the fight or flight feelings it gives you.

[00:55:20] Acknowledging that until Jesus comes, we're not going to see heaven.

[00:55:25] Mm-hmm.

[00:55:25] And it is.

[00:55:27] Yeah.

[00:55:27] No.

[00:55:28] It is, like you said, taking.

[00:55:30] The first step is a self-awareness.

[00:55:32] Yeah.

[00:55:32] So taking the step back.

[00:55:33] Like, asking yourself, like, how am I doing?

[00:55:36] Yeah.

[00:55:36] We're not doing that enough.

[00:55:37] We gloss over things.

[00:55:38] We're inundated with information.

[00:55:40] We're inundated with these videos.

[00:55:41] When you really take a step back and you're like, man, this is difficult.

[00:55:44] This is hard.

[00:55:45] Then, like you said, you can take the next step, which is like, okay, I need to talk to someone.

[00:55:49] And I don't even mean just a mental health professional.

[00:55:51] I mean, talk to someone.

[00:55:52] Friends, family.

[00:55:53] Yeah.

[00:55:53] Like, your safe spaces.

[00:55:54] Like, you have to process.

[00:55:55] Get this out of your head.

[00:55:57] Get this out of your system, if you will.

[00:55:58] Like you said, not to go into fight or flight mode.

[00:56:01] Yeah.

[00:56:02] Not to live your life in hell of anxiety, depression, all these things because of what you're viewing.

[00:56:08] Let me ask you this.

[00:56:09] You know, we were just talking about youth and it's interesting.

[00:56:13] And I know youth are a key focal point for you, children and adolescents.

[00:56:18] Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports that one in five children experience a mental disorder in a given year.

[00:56:26] One in five.

[00:56:28] Twenty percent.

[00:56:29] Like, every time I use statistics like that, I just see a line of people.

[00:56:33] I can count one, two, three, four, five.

[00:56:34] One of you.

[00:56:35] Yep.

[00:56:36] Has this issue.

[00:56:38] What do moments like this do to those that have the issue or maybe even not?

[00:56:44] Like, talk to me about children and adolescents in this moment.

[00:56:47] It's awful.

[00:56:50] Because as a child, you are trying to learn and understand, is this world safe that I live in?

[00:56:55] Like, that's one of your number of priorities.

[00:56:58] Now, your psychological safety is ripped apart.

[00:57:01] You're watching this like, wait, what?

[00:57:03] Oh, I'm not safe.

[00:57:04] Someone can just walk into my house.

[00:57:05] I mean, there's many stories.

[00:57:07] But someone's just walking to my house.

[00:57:08] I call the police.

[00:57:10] Someone's going to come.

[00:57:11] I'm not safe anymore.

[00:57:11] Someone's going to come.

[00:57:12] Someone's going to hurt me.

[00:57:13] Or I'm walking down the street.

[00:57:14] I see someone.

[00:57:15] I'm going to be hurt.

[00:57:16] Like, living in that fear.

[00:57:17] They were, oh, my gosh.

[00:57:18] There were so many students that were even affected.

[00:57:21] You know, again, going back to the George Floyd thing.

[00:57:22] They would sit in class.

[00:57:23] They were terrified.

[00:57:24] They were terrified.

[00:57:25] I mean, that's horrible.

[00:57:27] Kids don't need to be living in fear because of things that they're seeing around them.

[00:57:30] And they do know what's going on because they're nosy.

[00:57:33] Right?

[00:57:33] They have their whatever, their cell phones.

[00:57:35] Or the iPads.

[00:57:36] Or whatever it is that they have.

[00:57:37] They have access.

[00:57:38] They see what's happening in the world.

[00:57:39] And it's scary.

[00:57:40] Then the world becomes scary.

[00:57:41] But when the world becomes scary, you start to act out.

[00:57:45] For some kids, you start to act out.

[00:57:46] You start to have behavior problems.

[00:57:48] You start to get depressed.

[00:57:49] You start to have anxiety.

[00:57:50] You can't concentrate in school.

[00:57:52] So, yes, some of what's happening in the world absolutely affects our youth.

[00:57:56] But we don't know that.

[00:57:57] And then we make assumptions about our youth because we don't understand that they are also affected by what's happening.

[00:58:03] Man, you know what hit me when you said that?

[00:58:08] Maslow's hierarchy.

[00:58:09] Oh, yeah.

[00:58:09] Right?

[00:58:09] Yep.

[00:58:10] And I'll tell you why.

[00:58:11] Because, and people, I think over the last decade or two, have said maybe a couple things are missing from it.

[00:58:19] But let's just assume the way it is is right in that first base of psychological, physiological safety and needs and whatnot.

[00:58:25] And you continue to go up to, I think the top cap is like self-actualization.

[00:58:29] Yeah.

[00:58:30] There seems to be, to me, a correlation between living and experiences and wisdom to getting closer to self-actualization.

[00:58:38] Presuming you do the work.

[00:58:39] Well, yeah.

[00:58:40] Right?

[00:58:40] Okay.

[00:58:41] So, I want to make that.

[00:58:41] That's the answer.

[00:58:42] It doesn't just come with living.

[00:58:44] You got to do the work, right?

[00:58:45] Yes.

[00:58:45] But I feel like as you get to your adult life, the percentage of time spent between those stages are probably stages three and higher, large amount of time.

[00:58:55] Large amount of time working towards self-actualization is that now I got the foundations of life kind of covered.

[00:59:00] Yeah.

[00:59:01] I would presume for children and adolescents, most of their time is stages one and two.

[00:59:07] Oh, absolutely.

[00:59:08] And so their reliance.

[00:59:09] Oh, for sure.

[00:59:10] And the need for that safety.

[00:59:12] Yes.

[00:59:12] Right?

[00:59:12] It's that much more.

[00:59:14] Yeah.

[00:59:14] And so when things like this happen, you're shaking most of their life.

[00:59:19] Mm-hmm.

[00:59:20] And I've met a lot of anxious kids for a lot of different reasons with, yes, for a lot of things that are happening in the world, they're anxious.

[00:59:27] Wow.

[00:59:27] Wow.

[00:59:27] They're nervous.

[00:59:28] Wow.

[00:59:28] Wow.

[00:59:28] Wow.

[00:59:28] Wow.

[00:59:28] And you do.

[00:59:29] You shake their whole worldview.

[00:59:31] That's what's something you're trying to develop.

[00:59:33] And then for some of these kids, they're going to grow up as adults and they're going to continue to have that fight or flight mode.

[00:59:39] I'm always worried.

[00:59:41] Is something bad going to happen to me?

[00:59:43] It doesn't just stop in childhood.

[00:59:45] Yeah.

[00:59:45] For some kids, it goes out through.

[00:59:47] Now it affects their relationships.

[00:59:49] It affects their workplace performance.

[00:59:52] It affects their relationships with their friends.

[00:59:54] I mean, these have really strong impacts, which is why it's important for us to focus on youth as well.

[01:00:01] What kind of calls do you get in moments like this?

[01:00:03] If you get calls.

[01:00:06] What I've seen when I do evaluations is I see a lot of kids who are struggling with attention, which is due to different issues.

[01:00:14] So, yes, some kids truly have ADHD.

[01:00:16] But I've met a lot of anxious kids, too.

[01:00:18] And it's very sad to me because the reasons why they're anxious is because of what we're doing as a society and not recognizing necessarily the impact of our actions or not understanding like this affects our youth, too.

[01:00:35] We tend to think like, oh, you know, what problems do they have?

[01:00:38] And I'm like, how much time do we have?

[01:00:40] A lot.

[01:00:41] What you got?

[01:00:42] There's a lot.

[01:00:42] There's a lot they have to be anxious about.

[01:00:44] Yes.

[01:00:45] Right.

[01:00:45] So.

[01:00:46] Wow.

[01:00:46] Wow.

[01:00:47] Wow.

[01:00:47] I just want to put this out there for people who are, you know, in this moment struggling.

[01:00:54] Please, please, please use resources.

[01:00:57] We mention this all the time.

[01:00:59] You can text HOLY to 21346.

[01:01:01] We have people that will take your prayer request, pray for you, get you connected to the community.

[01:01:07] You do not have to be by yourself just because you live by yourself or maybe you've gotten detached from community.

[01:01:14] Sometimes, you know what?

[01:01:15] Connecting with people in prayer and a church makes a huge difference.

[01:01:19] So you can text HOLY to 21346.

[01:01:25] Yeah.

[01:01:26] I want to just add to that.

[01:01:28] I'm really glad you shared that because the social connection piece is so important.

[01:01:33] So last year, the U.S. Surgeon General, he, I don't know, maybe some people have heard of it, but he writes reports each year, usually about smoking, how smoking is bad for you or something else physical.

[01:01:42] But he talked about a loneliness epidemic and how loneliness was contributing to physical health issues for people.

[01:01:49] So after the pandemic, we kind of went into, you know, what we went into, we were isolated and all the things, but that continued almost too much.

[01:01:56] And like you said, maybe people that live by themselves or even if you don't, but live by yourself, you're choosing to isolate.

[01:02:02] That can have physical impacts on you.

[01:02:04] That can affect your blood pressure.

[01:02:06] That can affect your risk of heart disease along with the mental health side.

[01:02:10] So I'm glad you mentioned that as a resource because it's really important to stay connected with others.

[01:02:17] Data shows that minority communities are less likely to receive mental health services compared to the white counterparts with disparities as high as 20%.

[01:02:28] So we talked about some of this earlier.

[01:02:30] Some of this could be a matter of the stigma.

[01:02:33] Oh, yeah.

[01:02:35] Is access in and of itself an issue?

[01:02:37] Absolutely.

[01:02:38] How much of an issue?

[01:02:39] Huge.

[01:02:39] Huge.

[01:02:40] So healthcare.

[01:02:41] Yeah.

[01:02:41] I mean, transportation, funds.

[01:02:44] Yeah.

[01:02:45] And distrust is also another.

[01:02:48] Distrust?

[01:02:49] It's also another issue.

[01:02:50] Distrust because for a long time, mental health is starting to look, mental health treatment is starting to look a little bit different now.

[01:02:57] But for a long time, it was dominated by white males.

[01:03:01] So long ago, when we quote unquote started our traditional therapy.

[01:03:05] Now there's maybe it's up to like three or four percent of psychologists are people of color, for example, or black psychologists.

[01:03:13] So there's still a small percentage.

[01:03:15] So there is a distrust for certain communities, understandably.

[01:03:19] Right.

[01:03:20] But there also are people on the good side of this.

[01:03:23] There are people that are culturally competent, that are trained, that do understand, that is available.

[01:03:30] But to your point, yeah, access is a huge issue.

[01:03:32] It's one of the hugest issues.

[01:03:33] What are the other barriers for minority communities?

[01:03:36] I would say it's almost generational.

[01:03:39] Okay.

[01:03:40] Sometimes, too.

[01:03:40] I mean, sometimes it's cultural.

[01:03:42] Like, okay, we don't believe in therapy.

[01:03:43] I know for myself, my mom's side is Jamaican.

[01:03:47] My dad's side Ethiopian.

[01:03:48] I mean, back growing up, there wasn't a huge like, yeah, we believe in therapy type of thing.

[01:03:54] Yes.

[01:03:54] I think now, of course, it's changed.

[01:03:56] But even I know I've met a lot of people, too.

[01:03:59] Cultural backgrounds take a huge emphasis.

[01:04:02] Like, we don't do that here type of thing.

[01:04:05] And it just, it kind of goes back to the distress a little bit.

[01:04:08] But just understanding on a positive end that we are shifting and trying to change those things as a mental health community.

[01:04:15] Gotcha.

[01:04:16] And making sure people feel comfortable, making sure people feel connected.

[01:04:20] Yeah.

[01:04:20] That's good.

[01:04:21] Yeah.

[01:04:22] Oof.

[01:04:22] Oof.

[01:04:23] Oof.

[01:04:23] Oof.

[01:04:24] All right.

[01:04:24] So one of the things I think it's hard not to recognize is technology.

[01:04:30] Technology and what role technology plays in everything today.

[01:04:33] I feel, listen, on the one hand, I am thankful for the opportunity to see what I want to see when I want to see it.

[01:04:42] On the other hand, I don't like some of the impacts of it, even for myself.

[01:04:47] I wound up finally putting on my phone a thing that tells me I have 15 minutes of social a day.

[01:04:54] Wow.

[01:04:54] And when I'm done, it may be 15 minutes per app.

[01:04:57] Okay.

[01:04:57] So it's...

[01:04:58] Okay.

[01:04:58] I was like, man, that's good.

[01:04:59] No, no.

[01:05:00] I'm sorry.

[01:05:01] It's 15 minutes a day.

[01:05:01] Really?

[01:05:02] Because I try to delegate the social to my team.

[01:05:05] Yeah.

[01:05:05] And so I'm checking in.

[01:05:07] It should be for very intentional things, right?

[01:05:09] And so it tells me, you got five minutes left, brother.

[01:05:12] You got five minutes.

[01:05:13] I need to do that.

[01:05:14] Oh, no.

[01:05:15] I got five minutes.

[01:05:16] Oh, no.

[01:05:17] Oh, no.

[01:05:18] But because I do feel like it creates some behaviors I'm not comfortable with, right?

[01:05:25] So, again, self-assessing self, knowing my need sometimes to score, watching other people score sometimes ain't helpful.

[01:05:35] Yes.

[01:05:36] Okay?

[01:05:37] Knowing my need to, you know, see us do well.

[01:05:41] You know, are we doing well?

[01:05:43] I've tried to use this phrase with data, which is I want to use data to inform versus be, like, driven by it.

[01:05:53] I want it to inform, but I don't want to be held captive to it.

[01:05:58] Right?

[01:05:59] But I grew up in my professional career being captive to it.

[01:06:01] That was it.

[01:06:02] Scorecard starts my Monday with coffee.

[01:06:04] How did we do last week?

[01:06:06] Did we sell what we wanted to sell?

[01:06:07] Yeah.

[01:06:08] Buy a salesperson, so on and so forth.

[01:06:11] And if not, ka-ta-ka-ta.

[01:06:12] Right?

[01:06:12] We're like, ka-ta-ta.

[01:06:13] What's going on?

[01:06:14] Staff meeting was, ah!

[01:06:15] Right?

[01:06:16] And so I've been working on trying to change those things.

[01:06:19] So sometimes social media is not helpful.

[01:06:21] Now, on the other side of that, I love seeing what's going on in the Christian hip-hop community.

[01:06:24] I want to see what the artists are doing, my DJs, the hosts, so on and so forth.

[01:06:29] So I've got this mixed relationship, right?

[01:06:31] I find some of the data, though, interesting.

[01:06:34] I saw a thing, to your point, from the Surgeon General three months ago where he wants a sticker on social media.

[01:06:40] He says it is as addictive as tobacco products.

[01:06:45] Very true.

[01:06:45] And I want a sticker acknowledging that.

[01:06:48] Interesting.

[01:06:48] Interesting.

[01:06:49] Recent surveys suggest that social media use is linked to increased anxiety and depression among teens,

[01:06:56] with 25%, one out of four, y'all, reporting feeling extremely stressed by their online interactions.

[01:07:04] I coupled that with the heightened suicide attempt rates among our youth.

[01:07:10] And I just, again, have to ask the wonderful Dr. Nikesha Hammond, what role is technology playing in mental health?

[01:07:18] Yeah, it's very tough because, like you said, we, I say we as a society, we tend to compare ourselves on there.

[01:07:27] We see people's highlight reels.

[01:07:29] We're like, well, why can't I have that house, that car, that person, that life, or whatever?

[01:07:35] Right.

[01:07:35] And so do the teens.

[01:07:37] And it's so unrealistic sometimes because we're only seeing, you have to think there's 24 hours in a day.

[01:07:44] When you see 20 second, a 20 second video out of someone's day that tells you absolutely nothing about the rest of the day.

[01:07:53] But you think that's your whole entire life.

[01:07:54] Right.

[01:07:55] And it's like, no.

[01:07:56] And especially for teens, to your point, it's even harder because you're going through a period,

[01:08:00] you're trying to figure out who you are and which group you want to fit into and all of that.

[01:08:05] And here we are with this lavish, I mean, half the time it's very fake.

[01:08:09] I was going to say produced.

[01:08:10] I produced 20 seconds.

[01:08:11] I was going to say that.

[01:08:12] It's so fake.

[01:08:12] I produced 20 seconds.

[01:08:14] It's so fake.

[01:08:14] And people have admitted that.

[01:08:15] Right.

[01:08:15] Like they've done all sorts of stuff.

[01:08:17] Yeah.

[01:08:17] Right?

[01:08:17] To make themselves look more glamorous than all the things.

[01:08:20] So it's so fake.

[01:08:21] But it does have effects.

[01:08:22] Yeah.

[01:08:22] Because then you get into, I think they call it doom scrolling, but you know, you get into this whole like, man, I wish I had that.

[01:08:29] Well, now you said, man, how come this isn't happening?

[01:08:32] How come this person's getting this and I'm not now?

[01:08:35] Now you start spiraling down into these really dark thoughts.

[01:08:38] Yeah.

[01:08:38] So we do have to be careful.

[01:08:39] I would say it does depend on the person though.

[01:08:42] So for some of us, we have to say, you know what?

[01:08:47] Let's limit the time on there.

[01:08:48] Yeah.

[01:08:48] Right.

[01:08:48] If you notice yourself doing that, you have to start limiting the time on there.

[01:08:52] Um, or what I try to do, cause I do spend a little bit more time probably than I need to on social media.

[01:08:57] Um, but I, but it's a, it's a reminder and also putting into your feeds the positivity too, because you see a lot of negative things on there.

[01:09:06] I mean, the world's ending, like all these things were falling apart.

[01:09:10] We're not going to make it like it's, it's, it's so much negativity.

[01:09:12] So I try to make sure I also follow accounts that are positive, uplifting.

[01:09:18] Yeah.

[01:09:18] I got in my inspirational quotes, I'm like a self-help junkie, like insert that.

[01:09:22] That too.

[01:09:23] Yes.

[01:09:23] So that when you're scrolling, you see that too.

[01:09:26] Cause some of those things I'm like, okay, good.

[01:09:27] I could be uplifted.

[01:09:28] I could be motivated.

[01:09:28] Cause otherwise you look at some of the scroll and you're like, absolutely.

[01:09:31] Absolutely.

[01:09:32] You know what I mean?

[01:09:33] Absolutely.

[01:09:33] You're giving up on life.

[01:09:34] Like it's, it's a lot.

[01:09:35] It's heavy.

[01:09:36] And I'm going to appeal to parents, parents, um, be parents, be parents, be the advocate.

[01:09:43] Our youth are in a time when just like we were, they're the most impressionable.

[01:09:47] They're like clay, silly putty out of the can being pushed and molded.

[01:09:51] And so be cognizant of what is molding them.

[01:09:54] And if you've got to step up and put a timer on the airs or check in and say, not at the

[01:10:00] dinner table or you get an hour a day, whatever the case may be, they may not agree with it.

[01:10:05] But can I tell you a secret?

[01:10:08] Them agreeing or not doesn't change your parental responsibilities.

[01:10:11] Yeah.

[01:10:11] And that's your friends.

[01:10:13] They're cheering.

[01:10:14] As my people in the South would say, I love this one rapper.

[01:10:17] Shout out to Rissa, big Rissa.

[01:10:20] She always said, I'm a cheering.

[01:10:21] Okay.

[01:10:21] Okay.

[01:10:22] So, um, yeah, be, be parents.

[01:10:24] Yeah.

[01:10:25] Yeah.

[01:10:25] And, and, and again, yes, put the limits on also though, because what I don't want though

[01:10:29] is for us to just, uh, over give too much credit to social media.

[01:10:34] Like, oh, our genes are falling apart.

[01:10:35] It's only because social media.

[01:10:37] No, it's also as a community, we need to step up as parents.

[01:10:40] We need to step up.

[01:10:41] The school system needs to step up.

[01:10:42] Like we have a responsibility as a community to make sure these kids are thriving.

[01:10:45] There's a lot that we can do a lot.

[01:10:49] That community tribe feel.

[01:10:51] So let me ask you this.

[01:10:53] Yeah.

[01:10:53] Um, if the wonderful Dr.

[01:10:57] Nikesha Hammond was asked by a panel of folks in the city community, what could we do?

[01:11:02] We will each take an assignment, school principal, a civic leader, a business leader that owns

[01:11:10] multiple stores, just that net, the parents club, et cetera.

[01:11:14] What assignment would you give each, each group of people?

[01:11:17] Oh, I love that.

[01:11:18] I love that question.

[01:11:18] I've never been asked that.

[01:11:20] Um, so definitely for the schools, we have to, we have to be more conscious of social, emotional

[01:11:26] learning.

[01:11:27] So I get thoroughly aggravated when I see certain approaches where we just totally neglect the fact

[01:11:34] kids are learning differently.

[01:11:36] It's not always just about the academics.

[01:11:39] Yeah.

[01:11:39] Some schools thrive on that and they get it and they understand, okay, in addition to

[01:11:43] academics, we're going to put things into place where we're focusing on their social and emotional

[01:11:49] health as well.

[01:11:50] It doesn't mean that everybody needs a mental health professional, but you're putting certain

[01:11:54] things in place.

[01:11:54] It's a culture and kids understand it for certain schools.

[01:11:57] Cause they do really well that in certain schools, not, but you're putting things in place, putting

[01:12:00] practices in place, making sure your staff is taken care of.

[01:12:03] And they understand that.

[01:12:04] And they're trained as well for social, emotional needs of our youth.

[01:12:07] Yes.

[01:12:08] So that's for the, the schools, um, for the other groups, it, it really is about having

[01:12:14] almost like, like, so like a village mentality, a team mentality as a parent, when you understand

[01:12:19] you don't have to do this alone, but you, you have to have a team of people.

[01:12:23] It might not, whatever the funds may look like, maybe you're like right now, I don't

[01:12:27] have funds for mental professional, but who around you can be a mentor to the child?

[01:12:31] Is it someone at your place of worship?

[01:12:33] Is it your best friend?

[01:12:35] Is it, you know, your neighbor, your coworker, whomever, like who, who is a good role model

[01:12:40] for this child?

[01:12:42] Like who can be a mentor?

[01:12:43] Who can be there for the United States?

[01:12:44] Who can?

[01:12:45] There is somebody.

[01:12:46] Right.

[01:12:46] Yeah.

[01:12:47] Because it, that also goes a long way.

[01:12:48] I'm a big fan of big brothers, big sisters.

[01:12:50] Like I love that program so much in that model.

[01:12:53] Their numbers are outstanding, but right.

[01:12:55] Like mentorship goes a long way.

[01:12:57] And the same thing going back to what you're saying, like places of worship and different type

[01:13:00] of organizations.

[01:13:01] How can we mentor kids?

[01:13:02] How can we show up for them?

[01:13:04] How can we help with their social emotional development?

[01:13:07] Yes.

[01:13:07] Those things go a long way, but it really takes the community, different nonprofits.

[01:13:11] I mean, I'm a part of some that are really amazing.

[01:13:13] All right.

[01:13:14] But we're, we're trying to show up for our youth and, and, and doing our best to make

[01:13:18] sure that they understand that they're cared about.

[01:13:20] That's good.

[01:13:20] Like that is, that is huge.

[01:13:22] Like there's kids that are like, nobody cares about me.

[01:13:23] It may, it may or may not be true depending on their circumstance, but imagine if that one

[01:13:28] person was like, you know what?

[01:13:29] You matter.

[01:13:30] That's right.

[01:13:30] Like you're important.

[01:13:31] Your voice is important.

[01:13:32] Right.

[01:13:33] You could be saving their lives.

[01:13:34] That's right.

[01:13:35] And the perception is their reality.

[01:13:36] Yes.

[01:13:36] If they feel that way.

[01:13:38] Yes.

[01:13:38] That's it.

[01:13:39] Yes.

[01:13:39] Yeah.

[01:13:40] Man, that's, that's, that's so good.

[01:13:42] So everyone's got an assignment.

[01:13:44] You all heard me.

[01:13:45] Yes.

[01:13:45] We identified you by role.

[01:13:46] Okay.

[01:13:47] So don't, listen, you've got an assignment.

[01:13:48] You got an assignment.

[01:13:49] Um, what would you advise to folks who are listening to you right now go and say, I want

[01:13:55] to be wonderful too.

[01:13:57] I want to be like wonderful.

[01:13:58] Nikesha Hammond.

[01:13:59] I think I want to pursue a career in psychology.

[01:14:02] What's your advice?

[01:14:04] Um, so a couple of things.

[01:14:07] One is you have to work on whatever this for everyone, not just pursuing a psychology, but

[01:14:11] you have to make yourself your number and priority because I will say in the 15 years

[01:14:16] of being a psychologist, I mean, I have the private practice and I'm speaking and I'm

[01:14:20] writing books and like doing all these things.

[01:14:22] I'm a wife, I'm a mom.

[01:14:22] Like I have a gazillion roles that I play, but I've learned over time to make myself my

[01:14:28] number and priority.

[01:14:29] Meaning I have to make sure that I'm taking care of myself to show it powerfully for myself

[01:14:34] and for all these roles that I'm playing around me.

[01:14:36] Yes.

[01:14:37] That is something that's also critically important, especially in the field of mental health,

[01:14:41] because it's hard.

[01:14:42] It just is like, it's not an, I wouldn't say it's an easy field.

[01:14:45] It's hard.

[01:14:46] There's frustrating things that happen.

[01:14:47] There's rewarding things that happen, but you have to make sure you're taking care of

[01:14:51] yourself in order to be in the field, if you will.

[01:14:55] Absolutely.

[01:14:55] Like that's something that's really critically important.

[01:14:58] Yeah.

[01:14:59] Gotcha.

[01:15:01] That said, how do you maintain your own mental health?

[01:15:04] So I do a lot of self-care.

[01:15:07] I'm now, this is the version two.

[01:15:11] She cleared it up.

[01:15:12] She wanted to make sure if her friends were listening, don't you sit there.

[01:15:16] They're like, wait, what?

[01:15:17] So now I'm very intentional with my days.

[01:15:22] So what I used to do in the morning is I used to go straight to Instagram or straight

[01:15:26] to the email, like, you know, just wake up and head to the phone.

[01:15:29] And now I'm like, no.

[01:15:31] So in the mornings, it is like the first thing I do a gratitude practice.

[01:15:35] I am with a devotional.

[01:15:36] I'm in prayer.

[01:15:37] Like it has to be an intentional way to start the day.

[01:15:41] Yes.

[01:15:41] Um, also when I shared earlier about taking a minute, I do the same thing myself often,

[01:15:46] like sitting down, I'm a tea drinker.

[01:15:49] So I'm like drinking a cup of tea or I'm spending time in nature.

[01:15:52] I'm appreciating just the little things of life because, and I'm not, and not to say that

[01:15:57] everything's rosy all the time, but even in the harder times when you, when you find

[01:16:02] the moments of joy, like when you find the moments of reset, recharge, it's very powerful.

[01:16:06] And I honestly love what I do mostly, but I do love what I do.

[01:16:15] I'm very passionate about this field.

[01:16:17] Um, and, and, and I'm also blessed to have amazing people surrounding me and just an

[01:16:23] amazing team, just incredible people right now.

[01:16:26] We're very supportive.

[01:16:28] You know, this statistic blew me away with burnout rates among mental health professionals

[01:16:32] reaching nearly 40%.

[01:16:35] Wow.

[01:16:36] So are you seeing that with your colleagues?

[01:16:38] Do you observe that?

[01:16:39] Yep.

[01:16:39] Wow.

[01:16:39] Wow.

[01:16:40] Wow.

[01:16:40] Um, I do because it's, I mean, it's, it's not always easy, right?

[01:16:44] It's not always rosy and glamorous.

[01:16:46] Right.

[01:16:46] Um, especially depending on what, uh, area you're working in in mental health, there's

[01:16:52] crisis.

[01:16:53] There's, it's a lot, it's heavy.

[01:16:55] Um, but that's why it's important also for, especially if you're a giver for those listening

[01:17:00] to this, whether you're a mental health professional or not, when you're a giver, you have

[01:17:03] to take care of yourself even more than the average person, because you'll just give,

[01:17:06] give, give, and you'll burn out.

[01:17:08] And there's something called compassion fatigue, right?

[01:17:10] Which a lot of mental health, passion fatigue, compassion fatigue, heard that phrase.

[01:17:14] Yeah.

[01:17:14] Like you're so passionate.

[01:17:15] Yeah.

[01:17:16] You have so much compassion, but you're giving, giving, giving, giving, and you burn out.

[01:17:20] Right.

[01:17:20] Right.

[01:17:20] Well, now you can't help.

[01:17:22] Right.

[01:17:22] Now people got to help you.

[01:17:23] I mean, when I read that statistic, you know what came to mind for me?

[01:17:25] It was like, it was, it was like, uh, the firefighters are getting burned.

[01:17:29] That's exact.

[01:17:30] That's exactly it.

[01:17:31] Right.

[01:17:31] Yeah.

[01:17:31] And that could be firefighters too.

[01:17:33] They have a lot of compassion.

[01:17:34] They're, you know, like, let me save people.

[01:17:36] Let me.

[01:17:37] Exactly.

[01:17:38] Oh yeah.

[01:17:39] First responders.

[01:17:40] It's, it's high.

[01:17:41] It's, it's very high for first responders to very high nurses, physicians.

[01:17:44] The burnout rate is very high that like give, give, give.

[01:17:48] Yeah.

[01:17:48] But you're not taking care of yourself.

[01:17:51] Yeah.

[01:17:51] Yeah.

[01:17:51] Wow.

[01:17:52] It's a real thing.

[01:17:53] On a happier note, what, uh, what current projects or future projects are you really

[01:17:58] excited about that you're working on?

[01:18:00] Uh, so my, my current project I'm working on that I'm super excited about is my next

[01:18:04] book.

[01:18:05] So it's called mindset training, conquer your mind and the rest will follow.

[01:18:09] It's on pre-order now at mindset training book.com.

[01:18:12] And I'm super excited about this book.

[01:18:14] This is my fourth book, but I, thank you.

[01:18:17] I don't want to tell the other books, but this is my favorite book.

[01:18:20] Of course.

[01:18:20] Of course.

[01:18:21] Just because I wrote this one from the heart.

[01:18:23] Um, I mean, professional, you know, obviously tips too, but also a little bit from the heart

[01:18:27] because of my own personal journey with self-care, but it really dives into holistically how we

[01:18:33] work on taking care of ourselves emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, because we

[01:18:38] don't do that enough.

[01:18:40] So it's like, here are the practical steps.

[01:18:42] Here's the tools that you need to get started.

[01:18:44] Some of us are at the starting line, which is okay.

[01:18:46] Yes.

[01:18:46] Yes.

[01:18:47] Some of us are, you know, took a little baby steps or some of us are ready to take a leap.

[01:18:50] Yeah.

[01:18:50] Either of those answers are correct.

[01:18:52] That's good.

[01:18:53] So, um, so I'm super excited about that.

[01:18:55] That has been, um, it's been a project.

[01:18:57] Mindset.

[01:18:58] Mindset training.

[01:18:59] Mindsettraining.com.

[01:19:01] Um, mindsettrainingbook.com.

[01:19:03] Mindsettrainingbook.com.

[01:19:04] Yeah.

[01:19:04] Um, what are you, so we've, we both talked about some of our goal setting and, uh,

[01:19:10] BHAGs that the Lord has laid on our hearts to do.

[01:19:13] Um, so when I asked this question, it won't be a shocker.

[01:19:17] What, what success look like in your mind for you over the next five years?

[01:19:20] Ooh, that's so deep.

[01:19:23] Ooh.

[01:19:24] Yes.

[01:19:24] Like you said, there's so much cause I'm trying to continue.

[01:19:28] I think success looks like for me, continue to be aligned on what God, God has called

[01:19:32] me to do.

[01:19:33] Yeah.

[01:19:33] Um, which is so far helping millions and millions of people, which means I got to continue,

[01:19:41] like just continue to find ways to reach people, like find ways to reach people with

[01:19:47] this information, find ways to help people live healthier, happier lives.

[01:19:50] I really, truly believe we all should be doing that, but we don't necessarily understand.

[01:19:57] We've been trained, programmed in a certain way to be like, oh, you don't, you know, struggle

[01:20:01] is real.

[01:20:02] Like whatever we're being taught, like you can, you deserve to have joy, deserve to be emotionally

[01:20:07] healthy.

[01:20:08] You deserve to be happy and healthy.

[01:20:10] You deserve those things.

[01:20:11] So, um, so yeah, so that's what success looks like for me.

[01:20:13] Just continue on that path, continue to reach people, hopefully millions and millions of

[01:20:18] people with this message, with this information.

[01:20:20] That's good.

[01:20:21] Uh, your new book, uh, just curious, uh, self published with a publisher, a hybrid

[01:20:25] publisher.

[01:20:26] So yeah, I'm always curious.

[01:20:27] And I ask that only because we, you know, I try to talk in this show a lot about, um,

[01:20:32] you know, the different ways to do things in the age of new media.

[01:20:35] There's just so many different ways to do things.

[01:20:37] And so, um, good for you.

[01:20:38] Good for you.

[01:20:39] All right.

[01:20:39] Well, as we wrap up, if people want to get in contact with you, what's the best way?

[01:20:45] Best way is my website, drnikeshahammon.com.

[01:20:48] D-R-N-E-K-E-S-H-I-A-H-I-A-A-H-A-M-N.com.

[01:20:53] Or I'm on all social media platforms.

[01:20:55] Awesome.

[01:20:55] Thank you for taking the time.

[01:20:57] Thank you for what you do.

[01:20:59] Thank you for, um, being honest about, you know, being grounded and everything you need

[01:21:04] to do to stay grounded.

[01:21:05] Thank you for the honesty about challenges in our black and brown communities.

[01:21:09] Um, thank you for the advice.

[01:21:12] If people didn't hear the advice, again, I'm going to make most of it available on the

[01:21:15] podcast, but you know, when you see a opportunity for early intervention, we have a question about

[01:21:20] it, ask that question and be an advocate.

[01:21:23] So, uh, this was really a rich conversation.

[01:21:25] Thank you for coming by.

[01:21:26] Yes.

[01:21:27] And thank you.

[01:21:28] Thank you for all you do as well.

[01:21:29] Oh, thank you.

[01:21:30] Thank you for listening to another episode of the Coiling Solution and particularly this

[01:21:35] one about health.

[01:21:36] Such an important topic for all of us.

[01:21:38] I hope you found the gems that Dr. Nikisha shared to be of value.

[01:21:42] If you did drop me a note at jamesrosseau at holycoach.net.

[01:21:46] That's James R-O-S-S-E-A-U at holycoach.net.

[01:21:51] Also, you know what I'm going to say?

[01:21:52] If you've got some tips we didn't cover for the benefit of the tribe, please send me those

[01:21:57] as well to the same email address.

[01:21:59] Until next time, be informed, be empowered, be accountable.

[01:22:04] Thank you.