In this episode of The Corelink Solution I talk with David Myles about combating youth hopelessness. David, who has a multifaceted career and serves on the board of TreeHouse, shares his insights on the factors contributing to teen despair and the importance of providing a supportive environment. They explore TreeHouse's methods, such as mentoring and support groups, and stress the need for open, nonjudgmental dialogue.
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[00:00:00] 22% of high school teens had seriously considered committing suicide last year. 18% made a plan, 10% attempted, 3% like myself required medical care. Welcome to another episode of the Cool Link Solution which was truly James or so. I appreciate you being here. Clearly a topic we must talk about
[00:00:30] youth hopelessness the impacts is having but also what we can do to curve what is happening and so David Miles is joining me from Treehouse and Organization focused on ending youth hopelessness in a career clinic. I'm going to talk to you about education
[00:00:46] and I'm going to talk about education. I love to talk about the top of education but more specifically a mode of education that you can take for free and give you four options to do so let's jump in.
[00:00:58] You've heard me talk previously about the state of youth hopelessness and I have none other than David Miles here to join me to talk about it. David Miles is a sort after award winning international speaker, pastor,
[00:01:12] professor, business leader consultant and radio co-host but he's also a board member at Treehouse and I'm looking forward to an exciting conversation with him. David, welcome to the show.
[00:01:22] James thank you so much for having me on the show today it's an honor to be with you guys and to be with your steam listening family.
[00:01:28] Thank you so much appreciate you taking the time. Let's start here always like to let the audience get to know something fascinating about the person on the other end of the line and so what is one thing you can share
[00:01:40] with this audience that even those closest to David Miles do not know.
[00:01:45] Oh, you know what? I have a besides having a deep love for people right now not many people don't training for a half marathon.
[00:01:59] Oh wow okay is this your first one?
[00:02:01] I'll be my second one. And probably at the moment trying to fight through some plantar fasciitis which has been interesting and you know honestly James back in the day I probably would have never imagined doing something like this because in college and in high school was a state national champion throwing the javelin so my approach was 88 feet before I threw.
[00:02:24] I actually found anyone who was a distance runner was you know a little touched in the head.
[00:02:29] I was just a little touch that like I got a name of half foot spear three inch fights I'm not running if we need to throw down will throw down a little touch in there and I hear that well good luck on when is the marathon.
[00:02:42] I'm going to end of June.
[00:02:43] End of June okay so you still have some time you stuff.
[00:02:46] We have a group of guys called Black Men Run here in the Twin Cities and so nice good health extending and living out our purpose for the month.
[00:02:56] Goodness were you training during the winter months to have to ask where you out in Minnesota running around doing the winter months?
[00:03:03] You know what I wasn't you know I had a fairly interesting last year kind of you know in really good health but had three unplanned surgeries and hospitalizations.
[00:03:13] I was on pause until the end of December but I was out running in the weather I live by force preserves so I'm able to go out there.
[00:03:24] But yeah so I run in sub you know sub zero weather and blizzard and stuff like that.
[00:03:30] If you need to do it you need to do it I get it I get it.
[00:03:32] Well let me ask you this what led you to join treehouse you're doing so many things as I mentioned in your intro your speaker pastor college professor business leader etc.
[00:03:42] What made you decide to devote some of your time as a board member for treehouse?
[00:03:47] You know James really it's the purpose of treehouse which is ending hopelessness among teens with the life saving message of Jesus Christ.
[00:03:55] I mean that's really a huge part of it and part of my own story is I've grown up as a native in North Dakota my parents were the military got transferred there.
[00:04:04] But grew up and had my own experience with seizure disorders and racism and life and had my own failed suicide attempt as a sophomore in high school.
[00:04:13] And it was a locker mate who invited me to a student ministry event that would be part of the catalyst for transforming my life.
[00:04:21] And so you know a love for students a love for the fact that kids who feel they can't go anywhere else.
[00:04:28] You know are accepted as lovable capable worthwhile treehouse.
[00:04:33] That's good I really resonate it's not just a board that I sit on yes it's something that I believe in.
[00:04:40] And you know it's so funny because Anthony Flynn was just on he talked about you know pain being the birthplace of most of our passions and I think what you said just encapsulates that as an example.
[00:04:52] When you think about the work you're doing at treehouse help people understand the state of youth hopelessness in any way you sit that quantitative qualitatively give people some perspective.
[00:05:04] Well you know one of the things is last year CDC report was a big piece on hopelessness the CDC released a teen mental wellness report last year.
[00:05:16] You know besides a number of things but it found out that 22% of high school teens had seriously considered committing suicide last year 18% made a plan 10% attempted 3% like myself required medical care.
[00:05:31] And when you look at teen girls 57% almost 3 out of 5 reported persistent hopelessness and sadness.
[00:05:43] Yeah and so you know this is something that's fairly major it's alarming is also increasing very much in the African American community.
[00:05:52] And you know this is something that we really need to dig into an interesting James it's not just teenagers.
[00:06:02] Yeah that's a part of our future but it's adults you know I've done the home going service for one of my leaders who's 21 year old college son into this life.
[00:06:16] It's professionals and recently last year I spoke to the veterans administration.
[00:06:22] And it's one of their major initiatives because suicide among veterans is extremely high.
[00:06:29] And another area is construction workers construction workers and farmers have high suicide rates.
[00:06:36] And so there's a lot of hopelessness and there's a lot of you know sadness going around.
[00:06:43] Last numbers were that 77% of people felt loneliness.
[00:06:48] So this is something that is needing to be addressed and one of the reasons why I share my story and one of the reasons why I love tree houses because.
[00:06:59] I want to reduce the stigma of shame guilt fear around this conversation.
[00:07:05] Yeah and especially a tree house kids can come as they are and be fairly raw and real and know that they're welcome there and accepted.
[00:07:15] Yeah the other number I saw in that saying study that you reference 42% of students felt persistently sad or hopeless.
[00:07:25] Yeah that to me was again 2 out of 10 I'm sorry 4 out of 10 42% of students felt felt sad or hopeless.
[00:07:34] You know from the work you've been doing in the you know I think when you work like this many of us who start out in different initiatives.
[00:07:41] We begin with one perspective of what the cause may be and what the remedy may be and then you get into it and you get need deep and you find.
[00:07:48] You know the tentacles of all this right yeah from your time in this what have you found that has been.
[00:07:55] For you eye opening and I'm sure government here at the same time but what in terms of the drivers here what have you found.
[00:08:02] Yeah I'm there's you know one person is noted the strangeness of being in a crowded room.
[00:08:12] Yeah feeling utterly alone and I'm actually not feeling heard or listened to or seen.
[00:08:20] It makes me think of a statement by a gentleman named Douglas steer and he says this to listen deeply to another person's soul is perhaps the greatest gift that we can give another person.
[00:08:32] And you know I'm finding that true and the other the drivers are you know the comparison culture.
[00:08:40] This whole thing like I remember I remember hearing a mom say this over Christmas she said you know everything is fine in my life until I turn on the television and I look at social media.
[00:08:52] Because everyone else's life looks really good on fake book and insanity great I mean Facebook and Instagram.
[00:08:58] And so everything just looks so very well put together and so those are some of the drivers some of the the expectations and almost the fear failure but also the fear success.
[00:09:12] I remember hearing the story of a person who was like captain of their hockey team is a girl on their way to getting you know amazing scholarship and you know a person that you weren't necessarily thinking.
[00:09:25] Of this and that was a person you know who ended their life and I remember my second son telling me oh yeah we had heard about this and so it's something that.
[00:09:34] Is you know pretty broad base one of the things in the studies is showing that one of the fastest growing group are African American boys 10 to 19 and see I was about 15 when I had my attempt and you know so and James as you know there's there's been so many different things that have come you know teens and black teens.
[00:10:01] You know as a people were some of the most resilient people walking the planet and have you know been through so very much and have overcame so much and yet the reality is that this stuff is real it's right it's impacting it's impacting teens and and on top of that this continual message to them that somehow something's deficient when you know they're amazing.
[00:10:26] Two things you said that interested one the comparison culture right and I'm good until I see something else that tells me I'm not I don't measure up I have a gap but then it's other thing being in a crowded room yet filling alone I think that's such a powerful quote what is tree houses approach to trying to help recover help remedy some of these things that youth are experiencing.
[00:10:51] Yeah you know one of the things besides being around for 40 years and having its founding with a guy named Fred Fred Thomas and he was a teacher and he was seeing these things happen in the students that he had so he would actually go and sit down with principles and say hey give me the students that you wish weren't in your school.
[00:11:12] And so creating a culture through one-on-one mentoring and also through support groups those are kind of our bread and butter and people being actively engaged into the students and being trained we have a thing called tree source where you know we're helping to train and provide resources as an equipping organization we're an equipping organization James we're wanting to equip as many people.
[00:11:37] To reach out to teens you know we're approaching I think 70 75 network sites we have five directly operated sites here in the Twin Cities 75 out we now have joined with a group in ministry in Estonia Africa down in South Africa area that has will be having 20 some odd different contact locations and that's due to the fallout and the the you know.
[00:12:07] Impact of eight in that area and the number of orphans as well and so there was some families that knew this ministry partner over there partnered with them and so they're in the middle of getting their things up and running and so you know one of the huge things that's not just talked about but lived is very much the grace culture.
[00:12:34] The great of tree house now that's not excusing like truth right you know scripture says Jesus came John 118 full of grace and truth but very much a grace culture grace based culture where kids come in and they're just like wait a minute this is different like this is utterly like not what I was expecting and as a person who served as a pastor you know sometimes church wasn't always the safest place for kids to come in.
[00:13:04] Yeah you know I remember one of my youth a youth pastor that I had when I was in Ohio and one day when I was new to the church I was asking him kind of describing some of the church family in the community stuff and I asked them about our church and he said you know he goes this is a great place for kids who come preload it with Christianity.
[00:13:26] And I'm going to just push back and I was like Jason that's an incredible statement and why bring that up is that sometimes in church and even church youth group and I had a great church use groups I'm not dog and I had an amazing youth pastor and youth group.
[00:13:42] But where kids maybe feel like they can't talk about cutting at their youth group or church kids would go to tree house.
[00:13:49] Yeah, I talked about cutting there wasn't the there was like okay let's talk about this and and letting and not necessarily fixing it with platitudes and just kind of off handed comments but really letting.
[00:14:02] I mean like if you sit in on a support group and you listen to these kids get like really real and then also just the environment that makes it okay for them to be where they're at and still love them.
[00:14:19] Where they're at I love them to something greater as well yeah let's get how do you usually find their way into tree house.
[00:14:26] You know one of the ways that they find their their self-in is kind of something that's been happening all along and if you go back.
[00:14:35] You know the Daniel invited Andrew come and see the Messiah personal invitations.
[00:14:41] Because you know we have all these like trite sayings but what's neat about tree houses that is real.
[00:14:48] You know like hungry begging begging people for food and found a place to get fed thirsty people and you know even beyond beyond tree house James is this.
[00:15:00] I remember being a part of there were three cities a date in Ohio Jacksonville Florida Tucson that outreach had been a partnership.
[00:15:11] And they were strengthening church attendance and marriages through family life this week and so they were trying to see what would happen in the community.
[00:15:18] And as we're doing this outreach we found out that 83% of people would attend church is invited by a friend family co worker or an acquaintance but we found out that 83% but also found out that 11% of people invited.
[00:15:36] Got it.
[00:15:37] Okay so this is this is a thing I was just up in more head Minnesota speaking at a school on Friday and I've begun to do this because I do a message I speak to high schools and colleges and things like that to have these very like real conversations and have a message called I am here that looks at self awareness taking action and staying resilient.
[00:15:59] Powerful message is a brainless out of but one of the things I'll stop as I share my story about my locker made Lance inviting me to this student ministry thing and I all have someone time listen this is what it was I'm at my locker Lance has no clue.
[00:16:17] That I had failed at attempting to take my own life.
[00:16:22] Lance is at his locker he does in his book gets his stuff shuts his locker. He turns walks away and he turns back he says hey Dave I said yeah what are you doing on Thursday nothing you want to come with me to this event sure.
[00:16:42] So I had someone time that and the person said that was 8.9 seconds there you go James we sometimes make this so incredibly complicated yes but how deep is hey what you want to come with me to this day sure want to come and like that would be the catalyst and I think this is important for our hearers and listen.
[00:17:05] You know see I'd grown up in church and what happened in this this transformation of my life is going.
[00:17:11] And a way that God crystallize the gospel to go from religion to relationship.
[00:17:16] In a very healing and transformative way in my life.
[00:17:21] You know but the power of just invitation because when Lance invited me I was aware that my life was not was not working like it was it was tore up he didn't know that.
[00:17:33] And I remember when he invited me I thought to myself this hey I'll go I have nothing to lose.
[00:17:41] But I never imagined how much I had to get yeah that's right and you in at that time did you you didn't feel like Lance was trying to quote unquote fix you did you know no I think it's part of a two right yeah 8.9 seconds there wasn't a lot of fixing it was just like.
[00:17:58] Just with me it's between classes right just like hey what are you doing yeah I'm with me to this sure invitation to hang out.
[00:18:08] Right and I mean like honestly we do that in so many other things I mean like sometimes like running the streets and stuff it'd be like hey man what you do and man you know we're doing this this night that's right.
[00:18:18] Well like we already know how to do invitation that's right inviting people to things that are life giving let me ask you this for parents that might be listening caregivers
[00:18:27] guardians coaches teachers etc. What are some of the symptoms if you will that a person may be dealing with a young person may be dealing with hopelessness and all that I don't know if there's a quote unquote spectrum of hopelessness right where it is just being severe but what is some of the signs that people should look out for.
[00:18:46] Well one if you start you'll see kind of a depression among people sometimes there'll be an over you know mania as well sometimes that'll happen towards ends where people are saying hey I want to give this stuff away not sleepy not eating you know a loss of interest
[00:19:07] and things that they want to enjoy you know really kind of lots of isolation and that's one of the things that's hard James is because those little a little things called phones it really can cause people to be highly isolated yeah
[00:19:26] and really just focused on the screen comparison I'm integrating talk about themselves you know and that comparison thing like you know I'm not as good as so and so right
[00:19:38] and it's kind of like a persistent and I'm worthless like I don't have anything anything you know to give and when people start saying like you guys would be better off without me.
[00:19:50] You know I'm such a burden yeah and again like sometimes having just really you know honest and straightforward conversations like you know are you thinking about this yeah have you considered suicide.
[00:20:04] And then a question have you made a plan okay sometimes people will ideate but not necessarily have a plan but sometimes people ideate and they have a plan and if you're like you know do you have a definite plan.
[00:20:20] You know walk me through that and here's the thing like don't be embarrassed to like speak into someone's life you know and ask questions yeah sometimes James would also like if you and I were talking I may say you know what James I may or may not have this right and if I have it wrong please forgive me.
[00:20:42] I've noticed some things and I just want to make sure you're okay I want to let you know I care like is there some things that you you know that that's your carry.
[00:20:52] Sometimes we'll ask the question like how you're doing but sometimes you can ask a question hey James what you know what's heavy on your shoulders today yeah yeah what's heavy on your heart.
[00:21:02] And and sometimes when you talk to someone when they're like how you doing fine okay talk a little bit more so James how are you doing.
[00:21:10] I'm good and it's like you talk a little bit more it's like okay James keep a road like how are you really doing yeah because we want to be known.
[00:21:20] And this is one of the things I found people want to be known the question that they wonder is does anyone actually care to listen.
[00:21:28] Mm hmm that's good and that to me goes back to again that quote I'm in a crowded room yet I feel by myself right if you feel isolated physical proximity of people doesn't matter if you feel isolated what I love about some
[00:21:42] of the questions that you mentioned is it helps us get beyond the yes no answer response questions right yes no answer response questions are easy to get past but that what are you struggling with what's the burden on your shoulders
[00:21:54] right now some of those questions really get to that next point in the conversation if some of these folks David tell me say listen I have observed some things as David has said I've asked some questions
[00:22:07] that got some answers that are mainly uncomfortable but I'm not sure how to take the next step I want to get my youth and person I care for plugged
[00:22:15] in a tree house what's the best way for them to do that well you know one of the things that we do a webinar and like I'm
[00:22:21] going to make sure that I get the website correct you can register on the website at treehouse hope dot or G forward slash webinar and if you want
[00:22:33] to learn more about our programs and partnerships you can go to our ww dot tree house hope dot org and start a program there's a get in touch form
[00:22:46] on that page that they can fill out and you know James that's one of the ways that you can reach out to tree house tree house one of the things that we want to be clear too is that tree houses left behind kind of that old school take over type of
[00:23:02] a ministry type of thing like that thing like coming in and like we're going to take over and we have all the answers like no no you know we don't operate with that type of
[00:23:12] hubris we really believe that you know your community right you know your kids you know your family is better than anyone and our focus now really is on building up local
[00:23:24] churches and organizations to reach those that are in their community because you know your communities so well and there are so many
[00:23:31] wonderful assets in there that we don't have enough lifetimes to learn yeah nor should we because you're already there
[00:23:39] and so we offer resources we are offer expertise but we create a true partnership because you're the experts on the ground and we learn from local leaders how best to minister and partner with your culture and
[00:23:56] with your community and so you know we offer another thing a faith forward and also faith neutral programs because for some they're like am it a setting where I can be very much just faith forward that but
[00:24:10] tree house also has faith neutral and because our goal is helping all teens to come out of hopelessness yeah and so there's different ways that we go about
[00:24:22] this as a quickie organization and we want to definitely have a conversation with you you know Tim Clark who is the CEO is just and in the entire team just an amazing group of people
[00:24:36] who have a deep love for people and and are very much committed I've served on a number of boards but I've never and I'm not just saying this for your show I mean like literally I've never served on a board
[00:24:50] with such a group of people that are so also diverse yeah a number of Americans Anglo Asian Latino I mean like there's just a rich makeup of people on this board and they're all committed to
[00:25:09] being hopelessness and it amountains and that's so good that's a good David miles thank you so much audience I'll have it listed in the show notes but those that catch us on the
[00:25:19] podcast but please please please avail yourself of these resources at treehouse hope dot org and either click on start a program or
[00:25:28] at four slash webinars and get connected today David thank you again thank you so much James and thank you to your listeners as well.
[00:25:38] Family we have been talking about learning all year long and we will continue to do so by the way learning is a critical part of anything we do it's intentional in terms of being in our acronym of faith F-A-V-E faith art vocation and education learning is important across all the first three pillars
[00:25:57] being a lifetime learner I believe is a posture and an attitude so I'm always going to talk about learning the importance of it how you do it why you do it so and so forth today is a how one of the
[00:26:07] how's in learning our webinars and webinars are particularly interesting because let me read the definition a webinar is online seminar that allows participants to share
[00:26:17] information online is different from meeting tools which are designed for small groups to meet and collaborate real time and traditional streaming media like videos which don't allow the audience to engage with the content webinars are
[00:26:31] interactive and allow for full online audience participation so webinars is a space a medium of vehicle a tool if you will that allows you to have
[00:26:42] interactive learning so I want to share four places that you can learn for free and let me say this well two things at the onset one why for free well a couple reasons most of the organizations that I've seen off webinars and certainly those are going to highlight today have a full learning sweet that includes forms of paid learning and so offering webinars absolutely is a way to attract you in into the paid learning space there's a benefit
[00:27:12] to that for you whether you choose the paid learning is a whole not the conversation but think about it this way that means they're going to make those webinars as good as they can be with good teachers professors et cetera to ensure you get a quality learning experience that entices you to get the pay learning experience so listen even if you never get to the paid that means you are likely getting some of the best of the best because again it is an acquisition tool so remember that the first one I'm going to mention so the second
[00:27:42] thing I said I will say because the first one I'm going to mention is the right university and always have to say I'm aboard of trusty member a divide university I believe in the mission I believe in the product et cetera but yes device first on my list because they offer a professional development series with such things as embracing uncertainty taking care of yourself when working remotely growth mindset and so much more so soft skills and hard skills are offered in the divide universities you can do that.
[00:28:12] You can simply go to the dry dot edu or Google the right professional development and you will find it the second I want to mention is webinars offer from an organization called career development solutions they provide monthly webinars on the latest business practices and technologies the latest business practices and technology so you can check them out at career development solutions dot com for slash webinars I'll say again
[00:28:42] that's really good for me to do a career development solutions dot com for slash webinars the third organization is you university in Minnesota sea caps this is an interesting one they have a series of fee
[00:28:54] professional development webinars on topics such as coaching and management and so if you go to I would advise you to Google UM is a marry in is a Nancy sea caps exactly like it sounds
[00:29:07] see a ton of topics in what's nice is they add one each month so each month you're getting something of focus related to coaching and management some topics they recently covered are working with challenging people I'm sure none of you work with challenging people sure you do
[00:29:24] how can you better do it another topic was embodied communication communications are so vital minicum miscommunications can feel fatal and so focus on how you communicate a third one I saw inclusive and impactful leadership right oftentimes people talk about inclusion
[00:29:45] as if it were dilutive to good leadership and having an impact no there are together inclusive and impactful leadership okay that's UMN sea caps the fourth and last one I want to tip you to is UCI division of career pathways they offer career focus modules that are free and accessible anytime the website is career dot UCI dot EDU
[00:30:14] career dot UCI dot EDU and simply type in library after that they've got a great library of options including career paths and their career paths are structured around different industries of example arts and entertainment business and health care careers and creative economy gig economy psychology et cetera so you can go through and look by industry but then they also have topical areas interviewing techniques job searching
[00:30:44] network et cetera so my friends as part of career clinic I just want to say to you avail yourself of resources to help you continue your career journey by under girting it with fabulous learning