1036. IJLMI: Into Music Ministry

[00:00:00] Welcome to another episode of I'll Just Let Myself In. It's the podcast where we don't wait for an imaginary permission slip or some seat at an imaginary table. We let ourselves into our God given doors. And if this is your first time here, I just want to let you know this. We are a community, a family, a group of people who love to do big things. We like to make changes in the world, but sometimes we get in our way. Sometimes we get in our head. And sometimes we don't allow ourselves to walk through our

[00:00:30] God given doors. So each week I come and try to encourage you to stop waiting, not to look for another piece of information, not to watch even another podcast. I tell you all the time, you could turn this off and start the thing, right? And come back later. I encourage you to walk through those doors. And when I do have a guest, it is someone who lives the same way, who is trying to walk through their God given doors. And today's guest is no different. She is a psalmist,

[00:01:00] singer. I sang her with an A-N-G. She is someone who really has a passion for worship, a passion to communicate the majesty and the mystery of Christ to the generation through song. She's also hilarious. She goes viral quite frequently for her opinions and thoughts on things. She does makeup. She's beautiful. She's fly. She's funny. And she has a single coming out soon.

[00:01:25] So we're going to get into all that. But without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, Coco Crossin. I am flattered and humbled because what an intro. Thank you. Wow. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Absolutely. I'm honored. Absolutely. Listen, I'm so happy that you're here. We got introduced by our mutual friend, Kentrell Reagan. Yes. Shout out to Kentrell. Shout out. Kentrell was on an episode with me a couple of weeks ago. And he spoke so highly of you. He was like,

[00:01:52] do you know Coco? And I was like, no. He was like, you have to. And when he showed me, I was like, oh, I know her. I've seen. I've seen her. I was like, I've seen her. But he was like, yeah, that's my homegirl. Like, she's so dope. You should really have her on the show. And so he threw the alley. And we bless God for Kentrell. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate you. Now, listen, we were laughing before we started because we realized that Coco is the first white woman

[00:02:22] to be on my show. But not the last. Right. But not the last. But glad to be the first one. It was not on purpose. It just kind of happened that way. My husband laughed. He was like, we 86 episodes in. The inaugural. This is the inaugural. So, you know, she's a DEI guest. A DEI higher. Diversity and inclusion. Welcome. No, but I'm so happy to have you here. And although

[00:02:45] you are a white woman, I'm sure you hear all the time. You sing. Every day. You sing like one of us. Every day. And I can't even say one of us because I can't sing. But one of them. So I was telling her when she came and I said, the people who could just open up their mouth and that comes out. God's favorite. But I feel like that about people. I'm like, how do you do that?

[00:03:09] I be looking at people like, like Kentrell's wife, Kim. I'm like, how do you do that? She's crazy. Yeah. She's a beast. She's crazy. She's a beast. Yeah. All right. So we're going to get into a couple of different things. Well, the first thing I wanted to talk to you about was your tagline or kind of your personal mantra, which is I am who I am by the grace of God, you know, inspired by the word from our brother, Paul, our spiritual ancestor. Let's talk a little bit about that grace because

[00:03:37] my girl, you have a viral pulse where you talk about how buck you get for God because in the world you was buck. Absolutely. And so let's talk about the grace that has made you who you are today. Yeah. So I say that because if this is not a, this is not a hereditary thing. This is not my heritage. This is, and what I mean by this, I mean singing and ministry because nobody in my family sings like

[00:04:06] that. And nobody in my family does ministry bloodline wise. Now I have, you know, step relatives and, and things like that, but nobody in my family has ever ventured into this territory. So when my mom was like, no, this, this is a, this is a gift because nobody sings in my family. So, so when I, I, I was

[00:04:30] actually humming before I spoke, I mean, I hum myself to sleep as a baby. So I've been doing this for a long time since zero to six months. Um, but yeah, so, so that's a little bit a part of my testimony, but you know, being buck, you know, I was that girl in the club in college, you know,

[00:04:53] part of a sorority at the time. Yeah. And I was, I was just buck. And so when I crossed over and really started living for Christ, that, that, there was a fine line right there. So it was as buck as I was in the club is as buck as I go now. So people say, Oh, she's going off. She's well, what do you expect? You wanted me to be timid and go low. And the absolute, it's in my blood to be big for God.

[00:05:20] So that's, that's kind of how we got here. Well, listen, you don't play when you get on that stage, you lose it. And I was watching some of, you know, your videos on YouTube, just doing some research. And I was in the comments and so many of the comments were like, warning, don't watch this while you're driving. Why did I put this on at work? She tearing me up at the desk. I got to turn

[00:05:46] this off and feed my kids. People really do feel even through the internet, even through the television, like the anointing with which you sing, you're saying that you did not grow up this way, or you did not grow up singing like this or around singers like this. Where did it come from? Where did the power come from? Well, so I started studying classical music at, I would say around 14, 15 years old.

[00:06:10] And at 16, I started traveling to a university to study classical music. So there's a force, a force has always been there. And even when I was growing up singing in church, for some reason, I grew up Southern Baptist. Okay. So we're a little reserved, you know, but I know my hymns. Okay. But we grew up reserved, but for some reason we were singing now behold the lamb. And I was saying now behold the lamb and we'd be driving home from church. And my mom would say,

[00:06:36] you really felt that today. She would say, you did something a little different today in that song. And I would just say, mom, it's the Holy ghost. And so when I went to college and I was learning all different styles of music and stuff like that, not just classical, not just opera, because that's what I was going to school for, but you learn so many different art forms and music and forms of music. And you just start learning things about your voice, things and abilities that you didn't know.

[00:07:04] And so I was part of gospel choir and stuff like that. And that's kind of how I got into it. And people, people saw, people saw me in gospel choir and they're like, something's there, you know, but as we all grow, regardless of whatever time in our life, I just kind of grew into sounds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And vocal ability.

[00:07:26] And baby, the sounds and the vocal ability are there. When you go viral for singing, I would imagine that it is a very, like a good experience, but also there's some humbling in it because it's like, wow, this is about God. Like, look at what God is doing. I also see that as a form of evangelism modern day. I have a big conviction

[00:07:50] about like churches or worship houses who don't feel like they need to be online or who don't invest in like the quality of their online material or of their social media person, because I do feel like it's modern day evangelism. But how do you tell that line between this being evangelism and this being about God and wow, everyone is reposting my video or they love my voice or they're commenting on me. How are you working on making sure that doesn't get into your head?

[00:08:19] Yeah. So with the last post, we'll just go for the last post when I was singing alpha and omega. She got so many y'all. She said, let's just do the last one. So I was invited to be a collaborator on that post. So I didn't even post that. I wasn't going to post anything. And I think to answer your question ultimately is I pray about what I need to post. And I just let Holy Spirit lead me in the posting. Hey, what you want me to post?

[00:08:45] Cause I don't post every engagement that I go to. I'm not quick to post. I'm not like, gotta, gotta do this. Oh, I went here. I gotta post that. I let Holy Spirit guide me. And so when I was invited to be a collaborator, I was like, okay, sure. I didn't think it was a bad clip. I, in the moment I'm looking back at the service and I'm like, yeah, that was, that was a very powerful moment of ministry. I was like, sure, let's do it. And then once that, once I start seeing like, okay, the traction and stuff like that, I stopped looking. Yeah.

[00:09:14] I stopped looking for stuff. Now it takes a, that's a heart posture ultimately. Yep. So it's not just, you know, scrolling and stuff. Your heart has to be right. So that's a, that's a daily thing. Yeah. Renewing your mind does something to the heart ultimately. And so I have to engage with people obviously, because this is, this is free marketing. You know, this is, this is, this is how we do life now. Yes.

[00:09:41] And so when the, when the post first goes up, I wouldn't say viral, but when the post first goes up, I try to engage right on the spot. But after I would say a few hours, I'm done with it because you can't get too caught up, whether that be, you don't want it to go to your head or you start overthinking things. So you kind of sometimes have to post and let it go. Yes. And let it do whatever God wants it to do. That's it.

[00:10:09] So, and it's not about, oh, me posting to go viral. I don't know what's going to go viral. None of us do. It either goes viral or it doesn't. Or it doesn't. That's, that's not on me and I'm not trying to go viral, but all of this for me to the glory of God. And it is, it is a form of evangelism and I'm just, I'm thankful that the Lord has thought of me to be in this capacity. Absolutely. How old are you? I'm 36. You're 36. I'm 38. Okay.

[00:10:38] And almost 39. And when I think about the way that we grew up, you know, I feel like in this, this day and age for me, I am coming to a different maturity in what I believe it looks like to promote Christ. Right. And what I mean by that is this, there was a time where I felt like I needed to personally invite people to church one-on-one. Right. Which I will always do that.

[00:11:08] That's, that's just in me. Right. But that was like my bread and butter. And I felt like if I wasn't inviting someone, cause I grew up in New York City. So the train, the bus, school, whatever, inviting somebody to church, then my discipleship wasn't like valid. Yeah. Yeah. And then as I started to grow an online presence and start to do media and I was a Christian rapper for a long time, you know, I felt like that was like, that's actually how Holy Culture found me. So they would play my music. So I felt like that was the way.

[00:11:34] And now that I'm in this realm, I'm like, okay, I need to see me showing up online as evangelism. Because for a while I did not see it that way. It was just me talking, just me encouraging, just me sharing with people and the maturity to understand that this could go much further than anything I could do in a one-on-one interaction is great, but it's weighty. Yeah. There's a responsibility. For sure.

[00:12:02] You know, because you think about the things you say and the things you do and how it comes across. And I think people don't really acknowledge that when it comes to Christian influencers. They think we just up here chatting. And it's like, no, there's, there's things, there's a lot of things I don't say. There's things I record. And then the spirit says, actually, no, you're not going to post that. There's more things that we don't say than what we do. I was, I was trying to make a post yesterday just for my stories. Did it go up?

[00:12:32] Absolutely not. Yeah. Because I would rather Holy Spirit pull me back. Correct. Then, then to actually launch me forward. There's, there's, there's much more protection in being pulled back than, you know, when you're, when you're launched. So yeah. Yeah. Take that. Like if he tells you to backspace. Yep. Delete that. Delete that. Don't send that. Don't do it. And sometimes it's not even something bad. It's just not the time. Yeah. Not the time. It's just not the time. You're not the person. It's not wise.

[00:13:02] It's not wise. Like I'm telling you, there's so many things that I just, especially as someone who has been in full-time ministry in the past, employed by a church several times, actually. That's another thing. Because now you're not just representing yourself and your thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. You're representing that, you know? And it's a lot of responsibility. So as a psalmist, as someone who ministers in music, as someone who even travels, but

[00:13:28] does have a home base, you know, what are some of the things that you think of, read, pray through for yourself to be able to minister in that way? My biggest thing when it comes to ministry is remembering that it is with my mind that I serve him. And so what I mean by that is, it's not about singing better songs. It's about living a better life. And so this has to be right. Yeah. Before I sing a song. Anybody could honestly, with the spirit, anybody could get up.

[00:13:59] Come on spirit. Come to me. Let me get that voice. Let the spirit come to me. But, you know, but in this, thank God, there's skill and anointing here. But at the end of the day, this is what matters. My gift is not going with me. My gift is not needed. You know what I'm saying? So I have to make sure that when I'm mounting, when I'm on Instagram, when I'm mounting the

[00:14:27] Instagram platform, whatever platform I'm being on, I have to make sure that this is right. So it's a lot more back work. And now that I, now that I am in full-time ministry, I under, I had no clue what was going to be this, this much work in the spirit. Yes. Like it is. Yes. It's my first time. Yeah. It's only been a year and some change. Hey, you're doing great. So amen, Lish. Thank you so much. Your girl is.

[00:14:56] Full-time ministry is no joke. It's no joke. It's no joke. Especially when you really do love the people you serve. You feel a burden. You feel a weight to usher them into whether it be new territory, whether it be a bigger or better prayer life out of, depending on the issues that come to you, alcoholism, sex addiction, all sorts of stuff I've experienced.

[00:15:23] And it's funny because right now, my husband and I moved to Jersey about a year ago. And I came out, I was associate minister at a church. And I obviously came out of that position to move. And so now we're a part of a church and I get to just be a lay member. How does it feel? I love it. I'm not going to hold you. I love it. Because for most of my adult life, I've been in full-time ministry. And I tell people too, ministry now is not what it used to be.

[00:15:52] I signed a W-2. I was being paid. I had to do a job. I had to be there 40 hours away. I had to serve, for real. And it was checked and clocked. And most of the time, I did more than what was required of me. But there is a, I think there's a season for everything. Because I don't know that that would be my last time in ministry. My husband is like, it won't be. He's like, you won't last.

[00:16:17] But I like having this break because I think for me, it is helping me to do some more inner work. Yeah. Right? So I did inner work. I went in ministry. I've been in and out of ministry at different times. But the inner work that's needed in this season for me in a marriage and trying to hopefully become a parent and starting a business and having my business be Christ-centered, but not just for Christians. Right? Because I want to reach the world.

[00:16:47] There's a certain level of self-work that I needed to do. And I think God said, let me just pull you for a second. Not just for ministry, but even for my family. Yeah. Like my family's in Georgia, you know, and it's like, okay, you need to focus. You need to focus on your marriage. You need to focus on the business that I gave you. And so with you being in full-time ministry, delving into the music industry, right? Do you have any fears or worries about balancing the two? Or do you feel like they're pretty much one and the same for you right now? I don't even know.

[00:17:16] I don't know yet because I'm just so new. I'm so new to the industry side of things. I can tell that there is a difference. But if you are a minister of the gospel, you got to make it a way for it to be one. Yeah. You, it does not, it does not need to be separate. Yeah. I agree. Nothing needs to be separate outside of you being a believer. There's nothing outside of you being a believer. Yeah. I don't care what nobody says. You shouldn't be compartmentalizing your life.

[00:17:44] You shouldn't be letting your hair down. You shouldn't be balancing. There is no such thing as balancing. You prioritize God. You prioritize your relationship with God. And that's that. Yeah. I'm a stickler for that. Like you don't get to separate your life when you're called. You don't get to choose when you answer and when you don't. That is, that is the mantle. That is the weight that we carry as believers and as people who are singing and a part of an industry that can reach airways and different people and all, all types of facets of life.

[00:18:12] You have a major responsibility to keep him the focus and, and let people know that he's your focus. Yeah. And keeping the main thing, the main thing. The main thing gotta be the main thing. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think the business of music is, you know, it has its, it has its ups, it has its downs. But as we talked about off camera, if you keep the right people around you, you know, if you pray over who's, you know, management, public, all the business side of it, praying

[00:18:41] for God to keep those right people around you, you will do very well. I've had the same manager for my whole career pretty much. Mm-hmm. And the reason I stayed with that person, I've said this on the podcast before, I've had opportunities to be managed by other people, but there is, there's an integrity in this person. I've seen him in a room with batty here, batty there, batty everywhere. He ain't looking at nan woman. Yeah. He's focused on what he's focused on. He loves his wife. He loves his child.

[00:19:10] I could pivot tomorrow and say, I want to be in the circus. He going to start calling circuses because he feels like he is in service to what God is doing through me. It's not even about me. Yeah. So when I, when I was rapping, we was all on rapping. Yeah. When I said, I think I want to do media, no problem. Yeah. I'm telling you, I could say tomorrow, I want to be a clown in the circus. He would start calling circuses. Yeah. It's not, ah, but we just did all this work for you to be a rapper. Now you want to be a podcast? Because he understands the main thing. I'm telling you. And he's a believer. He's devout.

[00:19:39] Him and my husband have a great relationship. When I got married, him, he's like, let me talk to your husband. Let me connect with him. Let me make sure he feels comfortable with me. You know, but just a certain type of person. Those types of people. Because although everything is under God, business is business. Yeah. And people will get very weird. I mean, you've seen it. Yeah, yeah. You've seen it. Yeah. People will get very strange. People are people. People are people. People are people. People are people. People will people. People will people. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.

[00:20:06] So I saw in a clip one time that you said that some of your family thought you were crazy to go into ministry. Oh. All right. Tell us a little bit about that and why you didn't let that stop you. Are we real? Is this thing on? I feel like I just sat down to a Netflix documentary. Right. Which camera? Yeah, right. So like I said before, I grew up Southern Baptist.

[00:20:30] And so when the Southern Baptist Church, they are notorious for women not doing anything, really ministry, preaching of that nature. So I grew up not even like really praying aloud verbally. And so. Especially not on the stage. Yeah. So doing what I do and it's not just singing. It's ministry. I am a minister of the gospel. I am prophetic. I am these things.

[00:20:59] And that goes against the grain for how I grew up. You know, how my parents believe. And that's okay because I can, God will show them more than I can tell them. Yeah. And I have to be so confident in God when it comes to that. And I, you know, I've had my ups and downs with it, but I think I'm at peace now. Yeah. But that's how it, that's how it was.

[00:21:27] It wasn't always, you know, this, this great side and people are acknowledging me as a minister when my roots and my home wasn't that way. Yeah. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how that is. Is it a struggle for you to feel like your family, maybe even your immediate family, it sounds, doesn't really understand or get what God is doing through you? Yeah. I mean, there are moments. Yeah.

[00:21:56] That though that is a reality and that's okay. And God takes me through that. I can't allow the enemy to capitalize on that. Yeah, absolutely not. And say, oh, you're not supported. Cause you know, a lot of people can support you. You can have followers, you can have your husband, you can have whatever, but it's something about when your blood supports you.

[00:22:21] And I can't get caught up in support, lack of support, things of that nature when it comes to the commission. Yeah. Because it was biblical to leave everything behind. And so I just have to count the cost. Yeah. This is, this is the cost. And if I'm going to do this for Christ. Yeah. You know, if I die, I die. If I perish, I perish. That's a part of it. Yeah. That's the, that's the, the, the seriousness of it for me. Yeah.

[00:22:49] I just go forth and I know that God has me on all sides. I love it. Same. Same. So I grew up very similarly. And the last church I was a part of that I was associate minister for, I was their first ever in history, associate minister. Okay. The first ever woman to preach a Sunday sermon ever in that church's history. Oh, wow. And it was a lot. It took two years to happen. The church studied out women's roles, hermeneutics, all the things. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:23:17] Because we had some people who were not with it, you know? Yeah. And funnily enough, the people who were against it the most looked like me and were my same gender. Yeah. That's the crazy part about all of it. It was the older white men, elders of the church who were like, no, it's time for change. Yeah. She should be preaching. She's a gifted public speaker. Da, da, da, da. And it wasn't until we were about to leave that they were like, okay, we have to have her preach.

[00:23:47] And since then they flew me back and I preached there again. But I know what it's like to be in a position and in a room where some of the people who know you're gifting the best will not allow themselves to see you differently. And what you said is so key. You cannot, little girl, I'm talking to you, grown woman, I'm talking to you.

[00:24:10] You cannot allow the enemy to steal your voice because people around you want to pretend it ain't the voice of God. In the last days, I will pour out my spirit on men and women. He could have just said all people and left it alone and let us determine. He said men and women. Yeah. You know? And so there is, there's a time coming in my opinion where the church at large will

[00:24:39] really start to understand the anointing, the very specific anointing that I feel God has for women and that we're not trying to replace or remove or disrespect the man of God. Never. Yeah. It's just, we just have a very specific calling. Yeah. And I think it's, I think it's important. You know what I mean? We're made to carry. Yeah. And for you not to allow us to carry the gospel is actually very anti. Yeah. Anti-Mary. It's the anti-C word. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:25:09] But, you know, Mary was the first to carry the gospel. Mm-hmm. And so like, you can't, you, you can't tell me. Yeah. That, that women can't preach. Yeah. And yeah, that is someday, someday I'll preach. Yeah. You know? And. I would argue you already preach, but go ahead. In a way. Cause baby. You'll be preaching. Go ahead. I'm talking about like, like on a stage. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you will. Yeah. Absolutely. Amen.

[00:25:40] But, you know, I, I'm going to do it with boldness. I'm just going to, I'm going to go with it because it is what it is. Yeah. Regardless of, I have one supporter, no supporters, whatever. It is what it is. Yeah. So. No. The Lord will continue to use you. Switching gears a little bit. I want to know who are your musical influences? Like the women or men who you hear their music. It could be gospel or secular that just inspire you to sing.

[00:26:07] If you would be so kind, you could just give us a little snippet of, you know, whatever, whatever you feel. You can hum it. You can hum it. You don't even have to really sing. But. Okay. So I'm so glad that you asked me this question because I love to talk about this. I don't listen to a lot of Christian music. I don't listen to a lot of CCM. I don't listen to a lot of gospel music. I listen to a lot of R&B jazz, like Robert Glasper. I love Robert Glasper. Robert Glasper.

[00:26:37] I've seen him twice. Alex Isley. I listen to them all day long. And it's just, I think because I have so much going on in my mind when it comes to music. Yeah. They got to bring me down. And I don't know how people. First of all, I stopped listening to a lot of Christian and gospel music quite a long time ago. I would say maybe five years ago. Because I don't want to sound like anybody else. Okay. Overly influenced.

[00:27:05] And people will, regardless of if it's a singer or an intercessor or something, you'll start picking up on somebody. And you'll be praying the same, no, no, no, no, no. I want to sound like whatever God has given me. So when you're listening to me, you're hearing whatever God gave to me. I try to limit myself on even listening to. And I love Dunstan Oyakon. I love Nathaniel Bassey. I love Theophilus Sunday.

[00:27:34] So they're all from Nigeria. Somi Sola, she's from Nigeria. And I love their style of worship. However, I still limit myself because I know how easy it is to be a chameleon. Yeah. You don't want to be overly influenced. I don't want to be overly influenced. I don't want you to be like, oh, she's, and you know, just like people said like, you sound like this, you sound like that. Well, I don't know how because I couldn't tell you the last time. Yeah. I listened. To that person. You know what I'm saying? Right.

[00:28:02] You're just identifying similar timbres in people's voice. But I, I don't listen to. And that's why when it comes to me doing sets and like, oh, what are you going to sing here? What are you? I don't know because I'm not. So I have to, I have to be in the flow though. I, but a lot of my stuff that I do, I may sing a song just to launch into the prophetic or spontaneous. I'm much more comfortable there.

[00:28:27] I'm much more comfortable going off the grid in the unknown than what I am when I'm singing a song that I've, I've had to learn. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a, I don't know how I got comfortable with, with swimming in the deep, but you don't find treasure on the surface. If you want that treasure, you want that gold and God, you got to go deep. Yes, sir. Deep. That's a plug. Like, if Kintrell watches this, he's going to be like, there she goes. Yeah. Cause yeah, you got it. You got to go deep for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:28:57] Well, I listened to a lot of Robert Glasper as well. And a lot of Yeba. A lot of Alex Isley. That jazz piano is just special. It is. And Robert is really different. I like Adam Blackstone as well. Just good. Just great musicians.

[00:29:12] And I think it's funny that you said you don't really listen to a lot of gospel music because when you listen to how you flow from song to song, especially when you are ministering in music, it's like so much in you. So much, whether it be old school, new styles. I heard you singing like an Afro beat joint one time on YouTube. I was like, oh, she just be singing everything. And I feel like you're very, the word that just keeps coming to me is anointed.

[00:29:41] I'm trying not to sound so churchy. But it is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is. There's a real anointing on you. Do you ever feel the weight of anointing outside of what you do musically? Yeah. I feel that. Well, I feel the weight all the time. Yeah. Because like you said, we don't get to compartmentalize. We don't get to separate anything.

[00:30:11] So a weight is a weight regardless. You don't get to take that thing off. It doesn't come off. It doesn't come on. It's not a light switch. It's always there. And, you know, some certain things of who I am, that's my, this is my DNA. We're not just talking about something that I, like a light switch. This is ingrained in me. This is something that God put in me. And so I can feel the weight at any time, regardless. You know, you were talking a minute ago and I felt a weight.

[00:30:39] I said, oh, we're going to have to talk about this. But you should always be able to feel the weight. My prayer, I mean, for anybody that's listening is that if you don't feel the weight, then that your sensitivity increases. So you can always feel that weight. It's important. Yeah. It's important because you never want to get to a place where you're numb. Yeah. You never want to get to a place where you're desensitized to any type of movement.

[00:31:04] And God, I should be able to walk into somebody's place and be able to, this is not a platform. I don't just cut this on when I get on social media. Yeah. This is real life. And so, yeah, I always, and I thank God that I always feel that way. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. I can feel it. I can feel it. You said one time that the most dangerous people are the people who aren't afraid of being embarrassed and the people who aren't afraid to look desperate. Yes.

[00:31:32] I feel like in our generation, we are- Scary. Scared. We don't want to look like we're trying too hard. We don't want to look like we care too much, especially for Christians in particular. We don't want to look like we're putting anyone else's beliefs down or we're talking down about anybody else and we don't want to offend anybody. And while I do appreciate our growth in humility, because I do think there was a time where we

[00:32:01] were insufferable as a faith. It was really hard to even get through to people because the way we ministered or testified was so off-putting to people. I think sometimes we've gone to the other side and there is a fear of even looking desperate for God, right?

[00:32:27] So when you see that, whether it's in yourself or others, people around you, how are you encouraging people to be different or think differently about that? So just like I was saying earlier with my family, I can show you better than I can tell you. You know, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. But I can show you by how I live. I can show you by how I live life minister because people will DM me or message me and say, hey, you inspire me. Your confidence.

[00:32:57] It's that word. Your confidence, your boldness to do this. You inspire me so much. And I think if anything that anybody gets from my ministry is that you can't be scared to do the most. It's for, this is for God. Yeah. You know, so, and sometimes you're not doing the most. Everybody else is just doing the very least. Let's take a holy pause. Say a lot. Yes.

[00:33:27] So I just, um, that's a dangerous spot to be is when you're not desperate for God. Yeah. It's called being lukewarm. Yeah. When you've become lukewarm, we have an issue. And that's the point where you're not desperate anymore. That's a point where, when you're not thirsty anymore, you're satisfied with this level. No, you should always be wanting more of God because he always has more to give you. Yeah.

[00:33:56] You know, his greatness is unsearchable. That's what the word says. And so we should always be, be searching out the things of God and a yearning for him and wanting more from him. Yeah. Without circumstance, without life happening to you. And sometimes life will happen to you. So you can get desperate. So you can get thirsty. That part. That'll preach. But that's a part of the desensitizing that we were talking about. Not being so desensitized.

[00:34:26] Gaining that desperation back, that thirst back, because that's how we move. The Bible says that's how we're filled. And some of us are empty simply because we're not desperate enough. Do you write out of desperation? Write songs? Yeah. I don't write. Really? I don't. It's very hard for me. That's shocking to me. Yeah.

[00:34:55] And Kentrell's going to roll his eyes. He sees this. He's going to be like. So panim is the first thing that I've actually like put on. I have ideas that I've written down and stuff like that in the spur of a moment. But a lot of the things that I minister are literally off the dome. It's just in the moment. Okay. And so I have to, then I have to go back. Yeah. And write it down.

[00:35:21] But a lot of the moments are just from, you know, heaven opens up. Yeah. And, but. So do you go into, when you go into the studio, are you going in clean and clear? I don't really know what you're going to record. Or is that, by the time you get to the studio, is it that you sang something on stage and now you're ready to kind of record that? So now, so, so now we're getting into the babiness of me and the industry. I don't go into the studio often. I love this for you. Yeah.

[00:35:51] I told you. I told you. She told me. She said, I don't know. Yeah. I don't. I'm a, I'm a baby. But no, when I, I think when I do certain things, I'm just going to have to be in the moment. Yeah. And somebody is just going to have to put me in the red and just record me when I'm in the moment and capture it. Well, those are some of the best, especially in gospel music, the live recordings. I know. The spirit is there.

[00:36:18] The live recordings are usually the best ones. Yeah. So I don't know how I would be. I feel like when I get in the booth or when I've been in a booth, I get extremely nervous because it's just like, it's on you. Yeah. You know, like the focus, it's like. No, I know a lot of people who can really sing and they struggle in the studio. Yeah. So I get that. So that's new to me. So I'm still working on getting extremely comfortable and be able to do that.

[00:36:46] So I guess that, we could say that that's a goal that I would become more confident. So when you do an album one day, do you want like, or what do you envision? Do you envision a group of writers? Do you envision, what does it feel like? I envision, because I'm so artistic when it comes to the different styles. I want different writers, but I want different styles of music on my project too. I think that I'll do projects that are like straight prophetic. Yeah.

[00:37:14] I think I'll do projects that are straight soaking music. I think I'll do a project that's strictly like the language of the spirit. So something that people can just read and pray to. And yeah. She was deep. You deep. I'm deep. And because there are lanes for that. It's true. There are lanes and there are people for that. And there are times for that. Absolutely. Yeah. I do want to write with other people.

[00:37:41] I'm excited about bringing people on for a project. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to call you. Because I write. Yeah. Would you ever do an R&B gospel album? Yes. I can hear it. I think I would, especially because I love Alex and Robert and all those things. I most definitely probably would go that route. Yeah. For sure. I got Brooklyn in my blood. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:10] You can't convince me. This is our Brooklyn sister, right? You can't convince me otherwise that I'm not from Brooklyn. And all my people from Brooklyn should be like, that's my girl. That's my girl. They'll see me. I'll post something on my socials and they'll be like, you're so Brooklyn. You're so Brooklyn. You're so Brooklyn. Brooklyn is a heart posture. Oh, you deep. I'm from Brooklyn. Brooklyn is a heart posture. We love. We spread love. It's the Brooklyn way. Really do.

[00:38:39] I'm coming to Brooklyn next month. I love it. Okay. We'll chat and we'll chat. Yeah, yeah. I love this. I'm so happy for you. I said this off camera and as we prayed before we started. But I really do believe that your ministry is going to be one that we look back on in 10, 15, 20 years and see how God used your voice to speak to a new generation, to encourage young women,

[00:39:08] to proclaim Christ boldly through whatever gift they have. Right? Not all of us are going to be able to open our mouths and sound like cocoa. Okay? But you can open your mouth and let out a sound of the testimony of whatever God is doing in your life. And one of the things that I'm big on in this podcast is trying to encourage people to walk through whatever door God has given them.

[00:39:35] I think that it is so important for women specifically to understand that when God has put something on your life, whether that be public speaking, whether that be being a stay-at-home mom, whether that be starting a business, whether that be being a corporate girly, whatever it is, he has gifted you very specifically. There's no place in the Bible where you see Jesus being harsh toward a woman, even when society wanted him to be. You don't see him putting a woman down.

[00:40:05] He's very, the Lord is very, very intentional about women. Yeah. Extremely. And so I love when I recently interviewed Erica Campbell from Mary Mary. And one of the things I was telling her off camera as well was that as a little girl, seeing her and Tina do gospel music in a specific way, in terms of the professionalism of it. Yeah. Yeah. Right?

[00:40:35] It let me know this is possible. You can be excellent in this genre, in this world. You can show up looking just as cool as everybody else and not compromise on your message and your music. And I feel like you're doing the same thing. So I'm excited for you. Thank you so much. I'm excited for you. Tell us about this single. And then I have one last question that I ask everybody before we leave. Panim. Panim. I learned that. She taught me that today. I said, now explain that. Panim. Panim.

[00:41:04] Talk to the people. Tell them what it's going to be about. Panim, it means, Panim actually means faces. But in the Hebrew, it can mean face to face. It can mean to look, to stand towards, to look somebody in the face. And so it means face to face. And it's going to be a song about the presence of the Lord. It's coming from Exodus 33 when Moses was meeting with God at the 10th meeting. And they were meeting. It literally says they met face to face.

[00:41:31] And in the latter part of the chapter, it says, hey, if your presence isn't going with us, we don't want to go. And so I think it's a call that we were kind of talking about, a call of desperation for the presence. Like we shouldn't be wanting to do life sends the presence of the Lord. And so I think we're going to come into a new wave of worship music. We're going to go, my prayer is that we go from the hand of God back to the heart of God. Yeah.

[00:42:01] Back to his presence and not just what he can do, his acts. And that's really what it's about. That's my, that's my heart towards creating music is presence driven music. And so it's about the presence of God. And I think, I think people are going to expect that sound from me. I think it's going to be something that can be ministered in a lot of different places, whether it be through dance or I think people can sing it in their houses as well.

[00:42:27] So I'm really excited and nervous. I'm a nervous girl about it, but God be glorified. Come on now. And I believe he will be. I believe that he's going to use your music to help usher people into his presence. And I'm excited for you. I'm excited for you. We asked a question to end off the show here. And the question is, in the grand scheme of things, what do you want your legacy to be? Kind of like an Esther type of situation.

[00:42:56] I want people to know that and people understand that based off of my life that I truly was born for a time as this. Yeah. I was born for such a time as this. And people, you know, I think Rich Tolbert has a song and nothing is an accident. You're alive because there's more. And so for people to see that there is such thing as living a life and a life more abundantly.

[00:43:22] So I think that's what I want my statement to be in the earth is that we lived, but I lived for the Lord ultimately. I love that. Well, you're well on your way. And I'm excited for you. Thank you so much. Coco Crossing, everybody. Thank you for having me. Yeah, absolutely. Y'all make sure y'all go Shreem Panim when it comes out. Make sure y'all play it. Use it in your reals. More importantly, use it in your real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To connect with God. Thank you so much for being here, Coco.

[00:43:52] Thank you for having me. I appreciate you. Absolutely. Thank you so much for watching another episode of I'll Just Let Myself In. I hope that this one encouraged you. I hope it encouraged you to get into your secret place and get some time with God for yourself. Listen, we talk a lot about being entrepreneurs and hard work and walking through our God-given doors and taking advantage of opportunities on this podcast.

[00:44:13] But the truth is, if you are not in a place where you can hear the voice of God, how will you know that that's the actual door you're supposed to walk through? So I hope that this episode encouraged you to go in that direction first, in the direction of Christ first, to figure out who you want to be in Him. And then you'll have the courage and the direction to walk through those doors.

[00:44:38] If you listen on Holy Culture, Sirius XM at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on a Monday night, we thank you for listening there. If you've watched on their YouTube, we thank you for watching there. And if you are watching on my YouTube, we thank you so much for being here. Please make sure that you are subscribed. I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again. A lot of you watch every week. But when we look at the analytics, you're not subscribed. Now, I'm going to charge it to your head and not your heart. Maybe I'm just showing up on your For You page. I'm showing up on your Continue Watching. And you don't even realize that you're not subscribed.

[00:45:07] So go ahead and double check for me right now. Go with it. Make sure you're subscribed and make sure that you hit the notification bell so that you do not miss any of the upcoming content. And as promised, each week I will be back same time, same place. I'll see you then. Peace.