1028. IJLMI: Into New Seasons

[00:00:00] But guess what? If you stayed in the house all winter and you stay in the house all summer, it won't matter that outside is different. Somebody catch it. Uh huh. If you stayed in the house with the blondes closed all winter and then you stay in the house with the blondes closed all summer, it does not matter that the season outside has changed. In order to experience what comes with new seasons, you must decide that you will be different in this season.

[00:00:30] What's up everybody? It's your girl Liz Speaks and welcome back to another episode of my podcast I'll Just Let Myself In. It's the podcast where we don't wait for an imaginary permission

[00:00:57] slip or some seat at an imaginary table. We let ourselves into our God given doors. Listen, if this is your first time with us, let me let you know a little bit about how we roll over here. We really like to encourage people to go ahead and do what's been in their heart and mind to do. Don't wait another day. Don't even let this podcast be a reason that you stop

[00:01:21] and ideate anymore. Go ahead and walk through those God given doors. I believe that there are seasons of your life where you are supposed to feel a divine change. You're supposed to feel a divine shift. And I don't know if it's because it's nice outside or if things are just getting better and getting hotter. But I am feeling a shift in my life in this season. And I'm deciding

[00:01:48] that this will be the best summer I have had in a long time, if not ever. So I had to ask myself, what would it take for this to be the best summer ever? And I want to encourage you to do the same. Today we're going to be talking about making this season, whether it be the actual season of summer or just this season of your life, the best it's ever been. I'm going to give you a couple of

[00:02:14] practicals, a couple of encouragements. But hopefully you leave here knowing that you have the power to make this season whatever you want it to be. If you're listening on Holy Culture Radio, channel 140 on Sirius XM at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on a Monday night, we thank you for listening there. If you're watching on Holy Culture's YouTube, we thank you for watching there. And if you're watching on my YouTube, we thank you for being here. Listen, make sure that you are subscribed.

[00:02:41] I know some of y'all don't even know you ain't subscribed. It's just showing up on your for you. It's showing up in your mentions. But make sure that you're subscribed and that you hit that notification bell so that you don't miss anything over here on this channel. And let's get into today's podcast. So we're going to be talking a little bit about how to make this season of your life the greatest that has been. And it's officially summertime. New York City is on fire.

[00:03:06] It rained the other day, yesterday. And people were on the internet saying, we needed this rain. We needed rain because we have been outside for 40 days and 40 nights and it's time for us to sit down. And so I was laughing because the truth is, I think New York, New Jersey, the Northeast has such a difficult winter that everyone just desired to be outside and feel the

[00:03:31] warm, feel the community, enjoy the city this summer. On top of that, our Knicks won a championship. We got the World Cup here, all these different installations and events and museums, and there's so much to do. And so I have decided that I am going to take full advantage of this summer

[00:03:51] summer and make it the best summer of my life. And it made me think, what are the things and the behaviors that I would need to have in order to see this season be different than the last? You know, the change in season brings a natural shift in the flow of things. If you have kids, right, they're out of school. And so your day looks different. Even if you have to go to work,

[00:04:19] you don't have to get them up and get them ready. It kind of naturally shifts the way that your day goes. You know, the sun stays out a little bit longer. So when you get home in the winter, you are ready to just hunker down, make dinner, help the kids do homework, get them to bed, maybe stay up scrolling for an hour to get some new time and then go to bed. In the summer, you might get home from work and you might say, let's go to the park. Let's take a walk. Let's have dinner outside if you have a backyard or a patio. You know, it just naturally shifts things.

[00:04:48] And what I'm doing with that is deciding how I'm going to take advantage of it. I'm like, okay, the summer's here. Things are naturally different. We had a rough winter. How am I going to take advantage of this summer? I can tell you right now for me, I just know there are things that I want to do, places I want to be and people that I want to be with that I am not making any excuses about

[00:05:13] this summer. If I told you that we was going to link up when I got back to New York and we haven't linked up yet, baby, trust me, you're going to see me this summer. It's only about four of y'all. So, you know, my friends from high school, you know, a couple of people, it's not that many of y'all. But if I told you that, you're going to see me this summer. I'm definitely going to make sure that I'm outside and that I'm able to connect with the people that I want to connect with. But in a very real

[00:05:39] way, you know, when a season changes, there's really no way to experience the benefits of that season if you don't do two things. And so the two things that I'm going to focus on today, and I've been doing this more lately in the podcast. If you've been listening regularly or watching regularly, you've probably noticed. Because one, I think it's easier to digest two things. But also I find that once I have more than two steps to do something, the chances of it getting done or getting done

[00:06:08] completely or low. So two steps work for me. Let me know how y'all feel about the two steps. But for me, the first step is that I have decided this season will be different. Yeah, I've decided that this summer will one, be different than my summers past, but two, be very different than the winter. And you know, some of that is just, again, natural. It is naturally different. But guess what? If you stayed in the house all winter and you stay in the house all summer, it won't matter that outside is

[00:06:36] different. Somebody catch it. Uh-huh. If you stayed in the house with the blinds closed all winter, and then you stay in the house with the blinds closed all summer, it does not matter that the season outside has changed. In order to experience what comes with new seasons, you must decide that you will be different in this season. Don't let this just be another summer for you, right? If we're talking

[00:07:03] about the natural season, you know, maybe you've experienced some major change. I know for us, we did, right? Last summer, we were living in Atlanta, you know? But this time last year, we were like, okay, it's looking like we officially going to have to move. We got to start figuring some things out. We hadn't even come to Jersey or New York yet to look for an apartment this time last year. So my life is completely different than it was last summer. I'm asking myself, okay, what are some of the things

[00:07:33] that I couldn't do last summer that I can do now? For me, there's friends that I couldn't hang out with on a regular basis last summer that I can hang out with on a regular basis now. And best believe they're going to be tired of me. My two best friends work in education. And so my very relaxed entrepreneurial schedule is completely opposite from theirs. But baby for the summer, they have either off or relaxed

[00:08:01] hours. And I already told them, prepare to be sick of me. Tell your husband, tell your boy, tell them I'm going to be over. I'm coming over. You coming over your pool, my pool, what we doing? I cannot wait to take advantage of the fact that for almost a decade of summers, I wasn't able to spend consistent time with these two women. I'm going to take advantage of that difference. You know, maybe your difference is on the opposite scale. Maybe your life was very, very full and now things have

[00:08:30] slowed down. Maybe a health challenge, maybe a financial challenge, maybe a mental health challenge. Maybe you're just like, I don't have it. I'm not outside. Everybody's talking about how outside you like, I'm inside, right? But if that's not what you're used to, maybe you can use this season to learn something, to read more, to study something that you wanted to study, to rest. Sometimes God sits us down

[00:08:55] because we need to rest. We need to stop. God will do that. Find the joy in whatever you can find in this season, this physical season. Find the joy in it so that you can really experience something new. If you're in a new season of your life where you've become a parent or you've started a different career or you've moved

[00:09:17] away or you've moved towards something, really lock in and ask yourself, what can I be doing right now that my past self wished that they could do and my future self will thank me for? What are some of the things that I could be engaging in? For some of you, that's a new hobby, right? It's a museum. It's a restaurant. It's meeting new friends all together. It's putting your toe back in the dating

[00:09:46] pool. You know, as much as people want to date, I have met some single people who are like, I'm good. I'm good. I'm Paul. I'm just here to die alone and do the will of the Lord. And maybe you are, but make sure that's what God put on your heart and that you're not living from a place of fear or from hurt from things that you've experienced in the past. Maybe that's the new thing that God wants you to do in this season. But really think about how you can make the most out of this season. Decide

[00:10:15] that this season will be different. A decision is a powerful thing because when you decide something, everything starts working toward that thing. When you decide, okay, I am going to be a more ambitious person, opportunities start coming out the woodworks. When you decide I'm going to be a more gracious person, opportunities for you to give grace start coming out the woodwork. When you decide you're

[00:10:41] going to get into your word more or you're going to read more, you're going to learn more, you will be surprised at how much time and space you find to do the things you've decided to do. And it is okay if those decisions are frivolous to other people. It really does not have to be super deep, super spiritual, this thing that makes you a better person. You know, one of the things I'm working

[00:11:05] on is figuring out things to do for myself that don't benefit anybody else. It's a gift and a curse because growing up being in ministry, growing up in a very serving family, you know, my mom always served. We joke with my mom. My mom would stay and talk to the whole church and then drive four people home from church. Like we always had people in our home. Um, there were times that people didn't have a place to stay. They would live with us for a short amount. It's like my mother was just a

[00:11:35] servant and I grew up that same way. So it is very difficult for me to do anything that I don't feel like benefits either somebody specifically or the greater good of what I'm trying to do in the world. And that's cute. And it's great. And it's like Jesus and woop de woop de woop. But sometimes for your mental health, you need to do something that's just for you, that no one will even care that you're doing. Decide that in this season, if you're not that way,

[00:12:01] right? If you're selfish and all you ever do is everything for you, then maybe you need to decide to do something for somebody else. But if all you do is for other people and you do all, decide in this season that you're going to do something that is just for you, just between you and God, just for you, it will really change things. The second thing that I'm doing to really make sure that I enjoy this new season, like I said, physically,

[00:12:25] this summer and proverbially this season of my life is that I'm making a big deal out of the little things. I think that this is, I was going to say a lost art, but I feel like it's coming back. I feel like we are remembering to make a big deal out of the little things. Some people call it romanticizing your life. I like that term too. But for me, I call it, I just make a big deal out of the

[00:12:50] little things. You know, the older I get, I begin to realize that the little things are what actually make a big life. And I have to give my husband credit for this because, you know, I am a big things person. Big thing. I like big things. I like big gifts. I like big chips. I like, I like to do it big. And when we were in our premarital counseling, I remember him sharing that, you know, I'm always

[00:13:17] going to show up and do the big things for you. That's no problem. But I also need to know that you enjoy the mundane because that's what the majority of our life is going to be. The majority of our life is going to be going to work, coming home, going to church, preferably raising kids, you know, building a home. It's going to be everyday life. And so I know that you're, you know, when he met me, he's like, I know you're used to events and studio and this person and celebrities and all

[00:13:45] of that. And we're going to do that, you know, but also I would like to be on the couch watching a series, you know, a couple of nights a week, which I was not used to. I literally used to say, and my sister will remember this. I used to say the idea, this is when I was very single. And I was like, the idea of getting home the same time every night, eating dinner, watching a show and going to bed disgusts me. I literally said that. I was like, yuck. Like I want to, I was in the music

[00:14:13] industry at the time. I was like, I want to be on tour. I want to be at shows. I want to be in a studio. Like I'm not getting home every night, you're making dinner, going to bed. Like, and now I love it. And listen, God, they still have plans for me to be on somebody's red carpet somewhere, to have events here and there. But even the celebrities that I know and the people who are in the entertainment industry, who are in these, these big rooms and big events, that's not every day.

[00:14:40] There are seasons when it's a lot, you know, you have a lot of events, there's award season, you know, if you come out with a film or if you're in a play, it has its run. But when it's over, you got to be able to still make a big deal out of the little things. Making a big deal out of the little things allows you to feel great after a walk in the park, going out for ice cream,

[00:15:05] hanging out with friends, running errands with your homegirls. It will make those things feel amazing to the point where when someone asks you at the end of the summer, how was your summer? You'd be like, oh, I had such a good summer. It was so relaxing. I got to spend time with so many people I loved. I tried this, knew this. I did this, knew that. That's the difference between you going, it was all right. It's the same old thing, you know, hung out with my friends, went to a couple

[00:15:30] places, same old, same old, same old. It's how you see it in your mind. Making a big deal out of the little things will remind you that the little things really do make your life big. Because, you know, it's those times and those conversations that really make life beautiful. The other day, I went to get breakfast with my best friend, Diamond, shout out to Diamond. And we went to get

[00:15:55] breakfast. And after we got breakfast, we sat across the street on a bench and we talked for at least two or three hours, right? Mind you, we just came from breakfast talking for two hours. And we text each other every single day, something or the other. We send each other reels. She cuts my husband's hair. Like we be around each other. And we still got so much value out of that conversation

[00:16:25] because it was uninterrupted. There were no husbands, no kids, no other friends, no one else to look after. We're very mindful because we're super close and we've been friends for a very long time. We're very mindful that when we're around people, they don't feel like outsiders. So we're not those friends that you're going to be around us and we're going to just be talking to each other. So as much as you would think we get a whole lot of time to like really go deep, these days, not as much. You know, my girl just graduated with her master. She's a mom. She works full time. She got a lot going on.

[00:16:53] So we had this time to get together. And when I tell you, it just lifted me. It filled me. It made me feel so much lighter. You know, I got to tell her about things that just been on my heart and on my mind, things that she can't solve. She ain't Jesus, but she's a listening ear. And I was the same for her. It was a little thing. It was a couple of pancakes, some eggs, some avocado toast. It was a park bench.

[00:17:23] But it was amazing. I love these kinds of things. It really does make your life richer. If there is something that you are changing or working on, a part of your character that you once really struggled with, you know, for me, I would say procrastination, right? Knowing that there's something that I need to get done, but not being

[00:17:48] able to find it in me to do it. And you have changed that, or you're working on that, or you've made a couple little strides. Make a big deal out of that little thing. Make a big deal out of the fact that this season, you are doing things differently. One of the things that has helped me and is helping me to get myself together when it comes to procrastination is redefining it for myself. I heard somebody say procrastination is the arrogant assumption that God will give you another chance tomorrow to do what

[00:18:17] he told you to do today. When I tell you that that helps me, when I'm like, okay, I need to get it. I need, I'm like, now God may, you may not be able to do it tomorrow. And it doesn't mean he's going to strike you down with lightning, but life may just happen where you're not able to do that thing tomorrow. So if you're able to do it today, go ahead and get it done today. I make a big deal out of those little changes. You know, I make a big deal out of the fact that I've been able to

[00:18:44] be consistent in certain things over the last month, almost two months now that it's been taking me years to get consistent with. I'm making a big deal out of it. Yes. Even if it's only in my mind, even if it's only with my friends and my group chat with my cousins, I'm making a big deal out of those little things so that I can really see and feel a difference in this season. I think that for so many of us,

[00:19:09] we can get stuck in who we think we are so much so that we don't see who we can become. When you are going into a new season and you're so stuck on who you had to be in that last season that you don't realize that the season naturally lends itself to a newer version of you, you will not change. Think about it like this. If you are so stuck in the fact that you wear coats,

[00:19:35] I wear coats. It's cold outside. I wear coats. I am a coat lover. Y'all are not going to be ready for the coats you're going to see me in this winter because I've been in Atlanta and we don't really need coats in Atlanta, but baby, I've been shopping and the coats are ready. If I decided that I'm just a coat person, it's just who I am, and I wear coats all year round, how crazy would I look in 100

[00:20:00] degree weather in a coat? But that's what we do. We say, this is who I am. This is all I know. So I'm going to be this in every season. And we don't even give ourselves a chance to change internally what God is naturally changing externally. He's giving you an opportunity in this season to be different. Maybe to actually shed some real layers. Maybe to actually take off some of that

[00:20:25] defensiveness. Maybe to actually take off some of that worry. Take off some of that shame. He's giving you an opportunity in this season to do that. And I want you to decide that you will be different this season and to make a big deal out of the little things. This season can be whatever you want it to be. Yes, I'm talking about summer, but I'm also talking about your life. This season of your life

[00:20:50] can be whatever you want it to be. What do you want it to be? Think to yourself, what do I actually want my summer to look like? I have so many plans for what I want this summer to look like. And I'm already doing things and putting things in place and reaching out to people and making plans and booking things to make sure that outside of, God forbid, some sort of natural disaster, nothing is going to

[00:21:14] stop me from doing what I want to do this summer, from living the life I want to live this summer. I'm doing the same thing in this season of my life. There are things I want to accomplish, places I want to go. There are things that I want to show myself that I can do, prove to myself that I can do. There are promises I've made to God that I intend to keep. There are promises I've made to my husband that I intend to keep. And so I am putting things in place and some of those things ain't fun.

[00:21:43] Some of those things look like a schedule, a budget. Some of those things look like changes in the way that I do what I do that I've gotten very comfortable doing. And now I have to say, this is working. It's not even so much that it's not working, but it could be better. I got to up this. I have to spend more time on this. I got to spend less time on that. But see, when you're ready for a change in season and when you recognize the natural order of things around

[00:22:09] you is changing, if you're wise, you will change too. And so I know there's somebody listening, somebody watching who is hesitant, tentative, frustrated in the season that they're in, but feeling like they don't know how to change it. The first step is deciding that your season will be different. And right under that, you got to ask yourself what you want the season to be.

[00:22:36] Take some time to actually journal it. Write down. Ask yourself, what do I want this season to look like? And what will it take for it to look that way? Once you start talking about these things with the people around you, if you're blessed enough to have a therapist talking about these things with your therapist, shout out to my therapist. I need to do a whole episode on my therapist. That's a whole nother conversation. But when I tell y'all, this person is changing my life

[00:23:03] session by session just by being a voice of reason that helps me see the unique way that God speaks to me. It's a beautiful thing. But if you're blessed enough to have a therapist, talk to them about this. If you're blessed enough to have a good friend who will hold you accountable, talk to them about this. Because when I tell you, once you start figuring out exactly what it's going to take to become the

[00:23:28] person you want to become and to have the life you want to have, things start to change very, very rapidly. What do you want you to like this summer? What do you want to do this summer? Where do you want to be? Who do you want to hang around? How do you want to feel? Do you want to feel rushed? Or do you want to feel calm? Do you want to feel accomplished? Or do you want to feel relaxed? Do you want to feel compelled? Or do you want to feel inspired? And guess what? There's really no wrong answer.

[00:23:56] There is a time to be rushed. There's a time to say, okay, we don't have time for all of this sitting and waiting. We got to work. There's a time to be calm and relaxed. There's a time to be accomplished and go after it and make it happen and get to the bag. There's a time to say, you know what? I'm going to pass that opportunity up because it's going to make me miss out on some things that I really care about with some people that I really care about. There's a time for all that. But if you

[00:24:22] don't sit down and ask yourself what you want, you may find yourself rushing in a season where you really need calm. You may find yourself being overly ambitious in a season where you need to prioritize family. These are things that I have done and mistakes that I have made, which is why I am so incredibly intentional in my life in this season about who I want to be and where I want to go. And on top of all that, I put the blanket of prayer, right? Because I don't even always know exactly what I need,

[00:24:51] where I need to be, who I need to be around. So I ask God, I ask the Holy Spirit, show me. But I'm very clear with him about what I want and where I want to be. And I believe it gives me a confidence with which to walk through life. It gives me a true sense of what I don't want and where I don't belong, which is very important. It's very important that you don't spend time into, listen, summertime is short. And you know what? This ain't in my nose at all, but let me talk to my

[00:25:21] single sisters. Summer is short. Don't waste your summer entertaining the wrong person. Don't do it. Don't waste your season entertaining the wrong friends, the wrong spouse, the wrong man, the wrong woman, the wrong partner. Don't waste your season entertaining the wrong business partner, entertaining the wrong investment. Don't waste your season. It's only a season.

[00:25:49] In the same vein, if your season is not exactly what you want it to be, don't worry so much. Don't stress so much. It's only a season. Figure out what you can control and control those controllables. I want you to really take a moment at some point this week after you watch this episode and tell yourself that you deserve this season. One of the things I'm loving right now is walking around the city.

[00:26:16] And there is no misconception that this city is so happy about the New York Knicks winning the championship. And when people are outside and doing what they do, they say, we deserve this. People go all the way back to COVID and talk about how COVID hit New York City the hardest. We deserve this summer. We haven't had a summer like this since 2016. We deserve this time.

[00:26:42] New Yorkers understand that the 15,000 snowstorms we had this winter, all the cancellations and shutdown, we deserve these concerts and this world. We deserve this. You know, reflect on some of the things that you've been through. And when you look at what God is allowing for you right now, what you have access to, what you can do in this season of your life, don't waste your time feeling like you don't deserve it.

[00:27:09] Feeling like you don't deserve something will stop you from going after it more than the difficulty to have it. Some things are not even that difficult to have, but because you don't think you deserve it, it feels difficult. I'm talking to me. Yeah, it feels more difficult than it actually is because you have convinced yourself that you don't deserve it. I want to talk you out of that right now. Think about what you want to be in this season, who you want to be, where you want to go, and decide that you deserve it. Decide that this season will be different.

[00:27:37] Make a big deal out of the little things and watch how much you enjoy your summer and the season that you're in in your life. I hope that this episode encouraged you. We try to give out little nuggets here to help you go ahead and walk through your God-given doors. We don't want you waiting for some seat at an imaginary table so that other people can tell you you're accepted or some imaginary permission slip that your mama and your daddy can't sign because you're grown now.

[00:28:05] God has given you the permission to walk through the doors that he has for you, that dream he's put on your heart, that idea he's given you, that book, that song, that hobby you want to pick up, that friend you need to call. He has given you the permission to do all those things. And my prayer for you is that this conversation sparked a little something in you that makes you go after it. Again, if you're listening on Holy Culture, we thank you so much for listening.

[00:28:31] That's Sirius XM, Channel 140, 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, every single Monday night. If you're watching on their YouTube, we thank you for watching there. And if you're watching on my YouTube, thanks for being here. Please make sure that you subscribe. We do a lot of fun things over here on the Liz Speaks channel, and I would hate for you to miss any of it. As is my custom here, I want to let you know that I'll be back same time, same place next week. And I hope that you join me. Be blessed, people. Peace.