Norlina and Nalani do a deep dive into the topic of contentment: the myths, how to be content, and what God says about it
[00:00:00] Hey and welcome back to the Expect Change Podcast, a podcast where we believe that God is still
[00:00:11] moving mountains and still bringing about change. Here we'll discuss diversity, race issues,
[00:00:18] dating, and everything in between. I'm your host, Norlina. Thank you so much for listening
[00:00:24] and let's get right to it. Hello everyone and welcome back to the Expect Change Podcast.
[00:00:38] I'm Norlina and today I am actually here with a podcast friend. She has been on the podcast
[00:00:46] multiple times. So you guys have already heard her before but yes it's Nalani. Welcome back.
[00:00:58] Thank you for being on today. We have an exciting topic for you all. We're talking about
[00:01:06] the topic we all know and love. We're talking about contentment. How exciting is contentment?
[00:01:12] So exciting and you know who it's exciting for? It's exciting for the people who already have
[00:01:18] everything they want and they want to talk to you about it.
[00:01:21] So the people and the Christians in the church who are coming up to you trying to give you advice
[00:01:30] about contentment that is the most exciting topic for them. But so yeah we're going to be
[00:01:36] talking about contentment and I think I want to start off with basically kind of going over
[00:01:42] some of the things that we've heard in the church just being young adults but honestly
[00:01:50] it varies from I've had people who are younger than me say things to me. People who are older than me
[00:01:57] say certain things. It's just church culture and church jargon which it shouldn't necessarily always
[00:02:04] be. Just because something is church culture, church jargon doesn't mean it's Bible or God.
[00:02:11] So I feel like we need to keep that in mind as young Christians just because
[00:02:15] everybody in your church is doing it or saying it does not mean it's biblical.
[00:02:20] And you have to test every spirit. But some of the myths of contentment and some of the things we hear
[00:02:29] in the church so I guess we can start there. Have you experienced any like what are the
[00:02:36] sayings that you've heard in the church based off of like contentment? I think mainly it comes
[00:02:42] from like when you might be venting or talking about something that you're going through in your
[00:02:47] life and then people give you advice on like how to be content in the Lord. I think like one of the
[00:02:53] most common things people try to do is like try to have you convince yourself that you don't actually
[00:03:00] want things that you want and be like and then you'll get it which it's kind of just backwards
[00:03:06] advice in the first place because it's like well if that wasn't something that was going to add
[00:03:10] anything to your life, when you do get it you wouldn't want it in the first place it
[00:03:15] wouldn't matter. So the fact that you desire it is not a bad thing but I think the desire for
[00:03:23] the things that we might be pursuing is what's often painted as something negative and it's
[00:03:29] like oh you just don't love God enough like you need to which I mean in some circumstances maybe
[00:03:34] that is the right advice to hear but I think in a lot of circumstances that's not necessarily the
[00:03:39] case. Yeah is God not enough for you? Like no God is definitely enough but God also created us
[00:03:46] for a desire like created us with certain desires like that's like asking someone
[00:03:52] well if you're you say you're hungry well is God not enough for you? No he definitely is but he
[00:03:59] also built me with the need to have like food to live and it adds it's some of the desires
[00:04:08] that he's given us are beneficial for the kingdom so like you said he's given us these
[00:04:13] there there are like fleshly and worldly desires but there are godly desires that things that he's
[00:04:19] put within us to want and granted he operates on his own timing but if he's put if he's put
[00:04:27] that desire in you it's not a sin to desire something to desire something above God yes
[00:04:33] but I think sometimes like you said with church culture we can equate one and the other and think
[00:04:39] that anyone wanting something or to even express that oh I'm disappointed that I don't have this thing
[00:04:45] in the season or I'm disappointed that I lost this or that other people have this and I don't it
[00:04:50] feels like I've been waiting. People will be like well do you not love God enough like he's
[00:04:56] God not enough for you and it's just like well no it's me expressing my feelings. Yeah desire that's
[00:05:02] right I believe the same like desire your desire for a particular thing or a promise that God has
[00:05:09] given you is definitely not a sin but what becomes sin is when you love that thing or obsess over
[00:05:16] that thing more than you like love and put your devotion into God that is when it becomes
[00:05:21] obviously idolatry but when you are expressing these emotions and these feelings of wanting something
[00:05:28] desiring something and people are telling you basically like oh well you just need to like just
[00:05:36] love God love God yes like always it doesn't matter where you are like what stage in your life if
[00:05:42] you have accomplished all of your goals and you're a multi-millionaire your main goal your
[00:05:47] main purpose on earth and your main goal is to deeper deepen your relationship with God period
[00:05:52] like so that statement is just like doesn't really make the most sense to place in these conversations
[00:06:00] or trying to basically convince yourself I've heard many people say well God gave it to me
[00:06:08] when I didn't want it anymore yeah okay so you think that you can manipulate God yeah
[00:06:14] that's what you believe you believe that you got one over on the Lord yeah the Lord God Almighty
[00:06:19] where no one can hide from I actually didn't want to got you guys literally like you think you got over
[00:06:25] on him um I don't think God is slow I treat God into it I think he knows what you're doing when
[00:06:32] you try to convince yourself like I don't want it anymore so that God can give it to you sooner
[00:06:39] I've prayed that prayer before like God just take away my desire take away but why would he take away
[00:06:44] my desire for something when he placed it in me in the first place like he has every intention on
[00:06:51] giving that promise to you but taking it away is not going to give you what you what you might
[00:06:59] think it's gonna give you it's funny because I think like the big unspoken thing we're talking
[00:07:05] about in this context is like relationships marriage those kind of connections but when you
[00:07:13] think of contentment in other areas people don't really give the same advice like if I was praying
[00:07:18] for like God to give me a certain career path or job opportunity people wouldn't be like it's got
[00:07:23] not enough for you like maybe like they give try to give solutions um to how to find that job
[00:07:29] like okay I'll be praying for you but also have you tried this website have you tried this
[00:07:33] have you done that yeah I think it can apply to like this obviously yes applies to relationships but
[00:07:40] I've heard people say the same when it comes to children like having children yeah if someone
[00:07:47] is desiring children or people who um are just desiring like their purpose in their life like
[00:07:55] they might have a career but they're they're wanting to be more involved with the purpose that God has
[00:08:04] given them I think it's for like things that people view as like achievable without God nobody
[00:08:13] has an issue with like I think that's what let me rephrase things that people think you can
[00:08:18] achieve without God like people think you can achieve a job without God people don't necessarily
[00:08:23] think that's something you have to pray for earnestly people think you can achieve
[00:08:30] like health without God like if you're on a weight loss journey be like oh just work out and eat healthy
[00:08:36] like that's not something you necessarily have to pray about or bring God into
[00:08:39] but they see these like bigger life things that are less as being less in our control
[00:08:44] and more up to God like having a baby or meeting your spouse like they think oh well those are
[00:08:51] things that are more ethereal more spiritual so you must be not really plugged in with God if
[00:08:58] you're not getting those things or as other things they're like oh well you just need to work harder
[00:09:02] whereas I think the truth is ultimately we need to be we need to be going to God about all of those
[00:09:08] things like finding a spouse you need to be praying just as hard as for your health because
[00:09:12] even though there are things that you think you can do in your own strength God ultimately is in
[00:09:16] control in both those areas even things like maybe somebody who's really naturally intellectual and
[00:09:24] doesn't struggle as much in school with their grades they might think oh that's me that's not
[00:09:28] something I need to be going to God for this is something I could do in my own power and
[00:09:35] so they can't empathize with people who that is like not that doesn't come naturally to them
[00:09:41] and I think it's the same kind of situation where it's like people who maybe have always perceived
[00:09:46] relationships to be like something that came easy to them or like career wise they just always got
[00:09:53] their next job really easy or maybe they're close they have like close friendships they've always
[00:09:58] just been good with people and had close friendships and never struggled making close friends
[00:10:02] they see that as something that is not necessarily the result of like God in their life they just
[00:10:07] see it as them yeah so I think when they see people who struggle getting those things they just
[00:10:12] are like oh you're just either you're not close enough to God or you're just like incompetent
[00:10:18] you must be doing something wrong yeah it's a it's a definitely like a blame game like
[00:10:24] when it comes to I think like contentment and I mean forget like getting that desire because
[00:10:29] what we're talking about is being content where you are right now wherever God has you
[00:10:34] because like obviously having the joy of the Lord is where we want to get um and having that being
[00:10:41] enough for us and having that fulfillment of God being enough for us but I think when it comes to
[00:10:47] like the conversation of contentment the people who have already received what they desired reach
[00:10:56] the goals that they have had for themselves in their lives it is this whole thing of like
[00:11:03] trying to convince you that you need to spiritually manipulate God in order to also receive the things
[00:11:10] because they might not have had to had to do all that yeah they might not have had to do that or
[00:11:14] even some of them might have done it and thought that they were successful um and that that is
[00:11:21] what made them successful in the fact that they like got one over on God and that might not be
[00:11:26] some examples of like what you're talking about like ways that people
[00:11:31] say well just do this and then God can God will bless you with this formula well this is one thing
[00:11:38] people love to like say to me and then also things that I've heard people say to so many
[00:11:45] other like young women in the church or just young people in the church um it's a lot of
[00:11:52] uh unsolicited advice but that's the here in order um I think people say
[00:11:58] when you're venting or talking about the things that you desire or your struggle with being content
[00:12:03] in the Lord they will say well just serve in every ministry possible and devote all of your time
[00:12:13] to ministry and God will give it to you because I've seen God give it to people
[00:12:20] after they do that that's when God will give it to you um how about no because I think in the day my
[00:12:30] belief is that the reason I serve in any ministry that I might serve in is from the outpouring and
[00:12:37] this is what like biblically like what I believe we should be doing is from the outpouring of our
[00:12:43] love for Christ yeah we don't serve to manipulate God's hand God I'm gonna serve in every ministry
[00:12:50] possible at my church and you are gonna bless me with my dream job paying me 1200 million dollars a
[00:12:59] year like I know you're gonna bless me with this because I'm serving in every you can't
[00:13:04] spiritually manipulate God you serving as you saying Lord I love you so much and out of the
[00:13:09] abundance of my love for you I want to show you that I'm devoted to you yes because what are
[00:13:15] you doing in your regular relationship it's telling somebody I love you every single day is not enough
[00:13:20] to make a relationship survive like you have to put work into it you have to show up for them every
[00:13:26] single day and serve them yeah you have to serve them in the little ways in the big ways to show
[00:13:31] them I'm devoted to this relationship so that is the same thing that we do when we serve in our
[00:13:36] community when we serve in our church we're telling God I'm devoted to this relationship
[00:13:40] I'm devoted to this marriage and I'm showing up because I love you so much and I need you to know
[00:13:46] that I love you yeah not to earn your love not to earn gifts no and and to even I feel like to
[00:13:53] even believe like when people tell me oh like just serve in all these different ministries and
[00:14:00] God gives I think to me that's hurting God's name God the Father like God when we say the
[00:14:08] different names of God and we're naming God the Father it's hindering who we view God the Father as
[00:14:16] because at the end of the day God the Father as our Father does he does not desire for us to
[00:14:23] strive and to work as in our works could ever be good enough for the blessings that he has for us
[00:14:30] our works are will never it doesn't matter how many like if I solve world hunger like that
[00:14:38] work is not going to be good enough to deserve God's grace mercy or his blessings he blesses us
[00:14:45] out of the kindness of his heart and out of his love for us because he's our Father
[00:14:50] I don't like when when it comes to like nieces and nephews or
[00:14:54] like the kids in my life that I love they could literally like blink breathe and I want to literally
[00:15:01] give them all my money like I want to take every single time I'm with like nephews or nieces
[00:15:06] I just want to literally like spend all my money on them I don't care about sugar I will give them
[00:15:12] every single dessert treat that they want or whatever because I just want them to be happy
[00:15:16] I want them to have all the hugs and even if they were bad that day I don't care I just love
[00:15:22] them and can you like these are my nieces and nephews that's not my own child so multiply
[00:15:30] that times 12 billion and that's how God feels for us so for a father to look at his kid and
[00:15:37] his kid is over there trying to manipulate him into giving them something like that could ever even work
[00:15:45] especially since like God knows our desires so it's not like us pretending that we don't desire
[00:15:51] these things would work anyways like that just doesn't make sense no like they're
[00:15:57] being transparent like there have been times when like I desire to be married and
[00:16:04] like similar to you I've been like God just take away this desire if it's not right or if it's not
[00:16:08] the right time blah blah and honestly I don't think that's ever gonna happen even if I
[00:16:13] like God forbid but even if I like leave this earth haven't ever been married I will still
[00:16:17] have died with the desire to be married right and God has his own reasoning for that that's
[00:16:24] not even like that's not for me to try to comprehend no and some certain things it's like
[00:16:33] was it apostle Paul where he might have asked God now this this is in a different context where it
[00:16:38] was like there was a thorn in his flesh and he was asking God to remove it and God said like
[00:16:43] no my grace is sufficient for you but in this context I think the desire for me feels like
[00:16:48] a thorn in my flesh because even though this is like the desire is not a sinful thing it's
[00:16:54] it's still painful for me and I feel like it's something that like can be like frustrating
[00:17:01] because I don't have any power to quench that thirst like I can't there's nothing I can do
[00:17:06] and I've tried in my own strength to like go out and be like okay God let me help you out let me
[00:17:11] get on these apps nothing boom zero out of 10 right and God said my grace is sufficient for you
[00:17:19] to me and that doesn't mean I'm taking away the desire that means that is you are me yeah so
[00:17:27] you're going to be okay but that's God telling me that other people I think they people mean well
[00:17:34] when they say the types of things you're talking about but I think it just comes from a place
[00:17:39] they really cannot empathize and I think people mean well but I also think that it needs to stop
[00:17:49] because it's biblically incorrect and I have gotten I've gotten to the point where now when I'm having
[00:17:54] these conversations I am very direct with people and I basically like pull out your bible right now
[00:18:02] and show me where that verse is because now if it's not bible based I don't want to hear
[00:18:07] your advice I don't want to hear what you have to say show text me a verse or don't text me at all
[00:18:12] like I don't want to hear it because at the end of the day it's you're you're coming up with jargon
[00:18:17] that it's not even from the bible where does it say serve and God will bless you with like serve so
[00:18:23] much to the point where you're a pack meal now it says actually the opposite where it's like
[00:18:28] that's the mentality of like workspace faith and yeah actually it literally says are it's
[00:18:34] meaningless everything is meaningless because compared to christ if we hold up all of our works
[00:18:40] compared to christ it is meaningless like the bible tells us we could never do anything good
[00:18:44] enough to deserve the love the grace and the gifts of god that's why it's called a gift yeah so
[00:18:51] that's why I think now it's just like honestly I personally don't want especially younger christians
[00:18:59] to have to go through this process because it's very discouraging to have people come up to you
[00:19:03] and say well do this do that like and abuse certain gifts like serving like serve to be able to serve
[00:19:11] in the church is a beautiful thing yeah to be able to fast and commune with god is a beautiful
[00:19:15] thing but people can take it and twist it and distort it into something that it's not and then
[00:19:21] now they have manipulated you into believing that you can manipulate god's hand and then
[00:19:27] it's like you're not even serving out of a pure heart and we're like you're there and then
[00:19:30] you're like your spirit is not right yes and eventually you'll end up a lot of people what
[00:19:37] I've seen is they end up believing the faith or they end up leaving the church because they thought
[00:19:42] that this was a formula I follow I do x y and z and god will give it to me and if they don't see
[00:19:51] it after doing x y 2 plus 2 equals 4 then now they're upset and now they blame themselves
[00:19:58] and now they're thinking well I guess I'm not a good enough Christian I guess I don't have a good
[00:20:02] relationship with God I guess God hates me then I just need to remove myself from this because
[00:20:07] maybe God has ostracized just me yeah and that's the thought process of a lot of young
[00:20:14] of a lot of Christians who might be new to the faith or who might have been striving and
[00:20:19] working for so long and not seeing like the promises of God and struggling with being
[00:20:24] content because they were taught wrong yeah so I think that like the jargon in the church definitely
[00:20:30] needs to change because we're hindering the blood is on our hands we're hindering other people
[00:20:35] at the end of the day um but another like okay we talked about like serving that's one thing
[00:20:43] I've heard people say but another thing I wanted to touch on was fasting um I think fasting
[00:20:49] is such a beautiful beautiful thing um and I think Christians should be fasting regularly I
[00:20:55] I think in the western church Christians don't fast yeah um and I think that we should be food to be
[00:21:02] honest yes and like when we are when we say fasting we don't mean like fasting from social media
[00:21:11] or secular music or you're fasting from sex before marriage you shouldn't be doing that anyway
[00:21:17] um but you can't fast from something that God already told you not to do in the first place
[00:21:23] yes you should just not do that it's like smoking whatever it is like doing drugs whatever um fasting
[00:21:30] is abstaining from food and in some cases you can abstain from water for some reason like Muslim
[00:21:36] people understand but Christians are just like yeah I'm giving up chocolate like it's just like
[00:21:41] that's not a fast and it's that's this is not coming from a place of like trying to be like
[00:21:46] religiosity it's just I think there's just misinformation about what fasting is like
[00:21:51] that's nice that you're stepping away from like Netflix for three weeks or something like that but
[00:21:58] fasting is separating yourself from something that your body needs
[00:22:05] and it's posted and it's ironic that here in like the west where food is just so readily available
[00:22:11] to most people that it's like that's the thing that we think that we don't need to separate ourselves
[00:22:16] from it's like but in these other cultures and communities and religions where a lot of people
[00:22:23] actually struggle to obtain like a constant source of food they're the ones who are like
[00:22:29] dedicated in their religion to abstaining from food but that's the one thing that we can't
[00:22:33] we're just like oh but surely not from and I obviously you know what I'm not I'm not Christ
[00:22:39] I haven't done a 40 day fast where I just haven't eaten anything and your motivations can definitely
[00:22:45] be twisted and I'm sure you're gonna touch on that later in Norlina but it's like
[00:22:50] it's not um the the feeling of actually like giving something up is something that we are
[00:22:56] just so yeah we don't understand it yeah we don't understand it and that's actually one thing though
[00:23:02] I love about um the Muslims because they don't play about their fasting even like my Muslim friends
[00:23:10] who were doing everything else under the sun like during Ramadan they were fasting they were not
[00:23:19] eating or drinking until sunset whenever they were supposed to break their fast which I loved and
[00:23:27] I think that's how diligent we are called to be I think people think that oh because we're
[00:23:31] Christians and Jesus died on the cross for us to forgive our sins that gives us freedom to do
[00:23:35] whatever we want to do no God still actually calls us to the same level of discipline
[00:23:42] as like a lot of the principles in Islam people just think that oh Christianity we're free to do
[00:23:47] whatever yeah I don't think grace is not necessarily the same thing as being lax and I think we mix
[00:23:53] the two together and be like oh blah blah blah and me included I'm included myself in this
[00:23:59] where it's like we just kind of fall back on certain aspects of the faith that we're called to
[00:24:05] do this like if Jesus was doing this regularly then why do we think we're exempt from it like
[00:24:11] Jesus is God and he was fasting and praying regularly yeah exactly within himself so um and
[00:24:20] similar to what you were saying Rowley and it's not to earn anything from God it's to
[00:24:25] be closer with him yeah it's like we should want to do this yeah and I think that's like to bring
[00:24:31] it back to like contentment is one of the um ways like one of the things that people would touch on
[00:24:38] or I've heard people touch on in regards to fasting is the fact that they basically tell you like okay well
[00:24:45] it wants you fast like God will give you what you're praying for and I am actually a really big
[00:24:51] believer that fasting makes things happen faster yes I definitely do believe it breaks down all of the
[00:24:59] blockages and like the spirit the blockages and hindrances and the attacks that are happening
[00:25:05] in the spiritual realm yes the spiritual strongholds and attacks it definitely can break all of those
[00:25:11] down and make things happen faster but faster could mean instead of it happening in five
[00:25:15] years now what happens in two like you know what I'm saying like it will still happen in
[00:25:19] God's time but ultimately the purpose of fasting is to bring us closer to God and to commune with God
[00:25:29] so we shouldn't be using fasting as a tool to manipulate his hand basically kind of like the
[00:25:36] the manifestation girlies who it's like okay instead of me chanting these mantras and like
[00:25:41] making certain kind of vision boards and doing all that it's like okay I'm gonna I'm a fast
[00:25:47] time and do it's like we try to replace one with the other and it's like God is not just a means of
[00:25:52] obtaining your best life yeah and I think we we we get confused where we're treating God like he's
[00:25:59] a lucky charm yeah like you just rub it hard enough if I just speak to that object if I do this
[00:26:06] then I'll get what I really want which is not actually God yeah and I I don't because I know some
[00:26:12] people are especially like in the church and on like social media they are against like fasting for
[00:26:20] like your marriage like if you want a husband like or a wife fasting for that I'm not I'm not against
[00:26:26] that at all actually I'm not I believe that it's good to like fast for your future spouse for your
[00:26:32] future children um and to like pray for their heart you know just there's so many different
[00:26:38] areas of that that you could fast and pray for but I think it need you need to be led by God to go
[00:26:45] into that kind of fasting um I remember when I first started fasting around like 18 I only ever
[00:26:51] fasted to hear God's voice clearer and to become closer to him um I don't when I did start
[00:27:00] fasting for other things was when I heard God's voice clearly saying it was either to break a
[00:27:06] stronghold and he was saying like you need a fast to break this off for you or it was God saying
[00:27:12] you need a fast about this topic right like whatever topic concerning marriage topic concerning
[00:27:17] finances topic concerning health like allow God to lead you partner with God like partner with
[00:27:23] him and allow him to lead you in fasting but don't use fasting as a tool to manipulate God's hand
[00:27:29] 100% yeah I'm definitely not because there are people who they did a fast and then God did
[00:27:35] deliver their spouse or they did a fast and they became pregnant or they did a fast and they
[00:27:39] got a financial blessing yeah that happens and if especially if God tells you that that's going to
[00:27:44] happen which again you better have that prophetic knowledge like clear because you don't want to get
[00:27:50] things murky but that is not the end goal the end goal is obedience to God so you're fasting
[00:27:57] ultimately because God told you to fast or you're going you're doing spiritual warfare like
[00:28:02] when Christ said like this kind of spirit only comes out through prayer and fasting or
[00:28:07] like when Esther was about to go before the king and she had all her like court kind of praying fast
[00:28:12] it's like like you say it's a way of fortifying your armor the armor of God and you absolutely
[00:28:20] should be like fasting and praying for your future spouse and your marriage and your ministry
[00:28:25] and your career but ultimately because it's it's really about the heart that's what this all
[00:28:30] comes down to you you're doing it because you want to be used by God for his glory for his kingdom
[00:28:35] not for your own flesh and that's hard I think if you get mixed up yes when it comes to fasting
[00:28:44] I think the mindset in the heart posture that we need to go into it with is like
[00:28:50] I always imagine myself like when I know I'm about to do fast like I'm I'm fasting it's me
[00:28:57] I I see it as me going up to God's door and like banging on it and like telling him to open up
[00:29:03] and I'm being so serious like I'm basically telling God I'm being serious like I'm not playing with you
[00:29:08] like because I can be real with you you're my dad and I'm letting you know I'm not playing with you
[00:29:12] and we need to get something figured out quickly and but at the end of the day my posture is
[00:29:17] always even if not I'll worship you still because you're good at your God and I'm
[00:29:23] coming I'm coming into this with an understanding that even if this doesn't like my answer doesn't come
[00:29:28] in two days five months or three years you are still good and it's not because you one hate me or two
[00:29:36] just don't want me to have good things but it's because you have a plan for me
[00:29:39] and you have something like you're working on it yeah and to ultimately believe that God's plan
[00:29:44] is better than our plan yes which is hard because at the end of the day we really do
[00:29:48] believe we have the best plan yes why yes we 100% do it's like okay God that's cute but I was waiting
[00:29:57] for an easy life no bumps no hiccups no issues when Jesus literally says in this world you will have
[00:30:04] trouble so and it's not even a thing of you will have trouble because you are a bad Christian
[00:30:10] you will have trouble because of you're not passing if you will have trouble now those
[00:30:14] things might happen but that's not the it's the baseline you will have everybody will have trouble
[00:30:20] the rich have trouble the poor have trouble the healthy have trouble the unhealthy have trouble
[00:30:25] the single have trouble the merry have trouble the trouble does not end the trouble is because
[00:30:30] we're in a the trouble we have is ultimately because we're in a fallen world and until that
[00:30:38] becomes rectified when we're all resurrected again no matter how even when the way we
[00:30:46] perceive other people to have everything they still have trouble ultimately and it is hard for us to
[00:30:51] empathize with other people's definition of trouble or the desires other people have like
[00:30:58] I will say I get I do get frustrated when people don't they can't empathize with my position as
[00:31:04] a single woman who that stands for me in mindset is my mindset is largely out of
[00:31:11] my control other people don't necessarily see it that way and you know what that's that's great for
[00:31:17] them but that's the reality that I'm in where I cannot change my situation I have tried I fail
[00:31:23] I'm going to God because I I'm now realizing that I cannot change my situation for myself and
[00:31:29] that I think God has purposefully led me into this situation for his greater glory
[00:31:34] other people might not see that as oh a big deal might not see that as an issue and then other people
[00:31:41] who have what I already want they might have issues that I don't think are a big deal yeah
[00:31:48] yeah I definitely think the same way sometimes I'm just like it can be hard to hear other people's
[00:31:55] like stories and struggles I can empathize with pretty much any story but
[00:32:03] sometimes when I am empathizing with other people and then you share your basically struggles or
[00:32:09] you're trying to share your own thoughts and opinions and feelings about what you're going
[00:32:13] through and it's like they can't empathize with you they automatically go to spiritual
[00:32:18] manipulation manipulate God this is true trying to tell you what to do to fix it yeah when
[00:32:24] there's no there's no you said it just sometimes and this is advice for people who maybe you have
[00:32:30] friends who are in situations like that um sometimes you can just listen to them yeah and
[00:32:37] just be like I'm sorry you're going through that season I just I I want to pray with you and I
[00:32:42] pray I pray for you yeah because a lot of times there's nothing that you can do or say that's
[00:32:48] gonna fix it and certainly nothing that they haven't heard before like oh my goodness
[00:32:53] I've never thought of that like no that's not the reality we all have the internet nowadays like
[00:32:59] yeah chances are if somebody's struggling with something or that like there's they're lacking
[00:33:04] contentment in a certain area they've done everything that they thought they could do
[00:33:11] to achieve that thing um so really like you giving solutions isn't necessarily helpful
[00:33:18] nine times out of ten but your prayers are always going to be helpful yes 100 so
[00:33:26] going into like okay what it's what can we do to be content and then what is like the biblical
[00:33:32] definition of contentment now that we've talked about some of the things people might try to sell
[00:33:37] to you in regards to contentment within the church um so the biblical definition
[00:33:44] of contentment is an inward trust in god sovereignty and goodness that produces the fruit of joy and
[00:33:51] peace and thanksgiving in the life of a believer regardless of outward circumstances so basically
[00:33:59] no matter what is happening in your life or around you you are still content and happy with god
[00:34:06] yeah you're you're thankful yeah for what you do have and it's like a true heart of gratitude
[00:34:13] and that's not something you can force that's the thing that's why when you're praying and fasting
[00:34:17] a lot of times what you're doing is asking god to put his will and his desire in you and also to
[00:34:22] put his contentment in you because when you draw closer to god he will show you the things that
[00:34:27] he's blessed you with and that will naturally cause you to feel grateful and to feel love for
[00:34:32] him and to feel gratitude towards him but it's not something you can't just convince yourself
[00:34:37] into it the holy spirit has to intercede and intervene yeah yeah i think for one like okay so
[00:34:46] how do i um stay content um and why not if i am struggling with contentment like how do i get
[00:34:53] back into a heart posture of contentment um i think number one it's definitely understanding that is
[00:34:59] my desire is not a sin and especially if i'm walking um with god um and i'm being biblically
[00:35:08] minded god has placed those desires in my heart if i have let god transform me and who i am as
[00:35:14] a person my desires are now his desires so the desires that i have are something that god
[00:35:20] has placed in my heart now obviously check that with scripture because yeah some people will try
[00:35:27] to use that and say well if i desire it then it must be from god that's not the case but make
[00:35:32] if does it align with scripture does it align with what god has already said are you renewing your
[00:35:36] mind with the word of god every single day are you being transformed like your desire for somebody
[00:35:42] who's married like a married man or something that's not that's not a desire and i desire him
[00:35:48] it's like no that's not a godly desire like check against scripture you've let
[00:35:53] lusted there's a spirit there and you have to you know go through the process of letting that
[00:35:59] spirit out no longer have a hold over you um i would also say okay so one thing that when i first
[00:36:07] started this faith walk and um i was trying to understand like okay well god like i have
[00:36:13] these really really big desires like i have desires of obviously working for your kingdom
[00:36:18] i want to do these great things for for you but i'm in the stepping block stages like you're pruning
[00:36:24] me or molding me but like i still have these what do i do like now like how do i be content in you
[00:36:31] and um i think one of those things that we need to work on in this time of like contentment is
[00:36:38] being a good steward of the things that god has placed in our hands so like what does that look
[00:36:45] like for me it looks like looking into the future of who i want to be or who i know god has called
[00:36:51] me to be so if god has called you to be um a writer then right now you might not be in the
[00:36:58] writing rooms that you want to be in or in the jobs that you want to be in but you could work
[00:37:03] on writing you could like take topics from online or topics you've always desired to write about
[00:37:10] and write short stories like practice that um or even like if you desire to have a huge like home one
[00:37:19] day um are you taking care of the space that you have now are you cleaning and and being a good
[00:37:27] steward of the home and the space that god has given you now even if you're still living in
[00:37:33] like a home that you don't like with roommates you don't like in your childhood home like
[00:37:38] you're back with your parents wherever it may be and you might not be happy in that location
[00:37:42] are you still taking the time out to show god like god thank you for what you have given me here now
[00:37:49] i want to show you that i am taking care of it because you have placed this into my hands and i'm
[00:37:54] going to be a good steward of what you have placed into my hands god wants to see that
[00:37:58] you value the blessings he's already given you and that like especially we see with like the
[00:38:04] parable of the talents like okay god has placed things in your life even people who maybe you perceive
[00:38:09] oh i don't have anything you have your voice you have your life you have your breath you have
[00:38:14] and some people don't even have that and they still were able to like like ellen keller
[00:38:19] like she can talk she can see she can hear somehow she still was able to take her life
[00:38:24] and make it worth something enormous and was able to inspire people we all have
[00:38:32] something that god has given us for a purpose so figure out what that purpose is and multiply it
[00:38:38] yes like and even like your example nearlene is perfect because i was we're we're right in sync
[00:38:43] like i was literally thinking like okay yeah i'm not even um fully employed right now i want to be
[00:38:48] in the entertainment industry so am i supposed to just sit around be like god why aren't you
[00:38:52] doing this man like he's not happening god you don't love me like and i i'm for a long time
[00:38:59] i was tempted to do that but god showed me he's like i've already given you ideas i've given you
[00:39:04] so many things projects that you just haven't been working on like what are you doing get up and right
[00:39:09] you're sitting around you if you waste the things and you don't value the things god's
[00:39:13] giving you he'll take it and give it to someone else yes yes like you have a car somebody else
[00:39:19] might be praying for a car they want a car right now but you have a car and your car is messy
[00:39:25] and you'll you don't never wash your car you don't never get your oil change but you pray for god
[00:39:29] for a g you want a g-wagon one day now why why like he has to see that we are able to take care of
[00:39:38] the things that we have now and even let's say like one day you want a um husband or a wife
[00:39:45] and you're treating like you're a man and you're treating all the girls that you're getting
[00:39:49] now terribly do you really think god is going to place the woman of your dreams into your hands
[00:39:54] right now or you can't even sustain friendships like yes you're praying for friends like and you're
[00:40:00] being terribly mean to the friends you have now or you're not even trying to put any effort into
[00:40:05] maintaining these friendships that you have now and you think like god is gonna bring you why would
[00:40:11] he put it into your hands just for you to allow it to crumble and fall and slip through
[00:40:15] your fingertips like god cares about your blessing just as much as you care about it as well so being
[00:40:22] content in where you are and showing up for yourself and showing up for god every day and saying like
[00:40:28] god like thank you for these friendships you've given me thank you for this home thank you for
[00:40:32] this car thank you for the job even though i might not like it i'm gonna be the best
[00:40:37] at it i'm gonna be the best like well i don't know retail worker mechanic like or whatever it is
[00:40:44] that you are right now and like you want to be something else like you want to be a doctor well
[00:40:48] i'm gonna be the best like nurses assistant right now that i can possibly be because i i know that god
[00:40:54] has me in this situation now to reach the people around me yeah and so that he can see if he can
[00:41:01] trust me in the next in the next level the next position um and i think people look at like
[00:41:08] the story of like joseph in the bible as oh that's rags to riches like that's gonna be
[00:41:12] everybody internalizes that as their story i think but what they're not paying attention to
[00:41:17] is the fact that joseph was content in every like pit like situation he was in he made it into something
[00:41:26] valuable yeah like if he was literally a slave he was able to the best he was the best yeah
[00:41:33] he was a servant he was sitting around just being like okay guys will make me kang one day
[00:41:37] he's gonna show me and put me about y'all so i'm gonna sit here and watch how this plays out
[00:41:42] no like he's still following like god's like patterns what god told him to do still trust in god even in
[00:41:49] the lowest of the lowest situation yeah and i think that's something that most of us are not
[00:41:55] to be honest in the lowest of the low situation god tested joseph like with the whole potterfers
[00:42:01] wife thing and like joseph had integrity and he fled from that situation even though it landed him
[00:42:06] in prison god that god tested him and god could trust him like god will test you in your seasons of
[00:42:14] learning how to be contentment to see like do i really value this relationship with god if the
[00:42:20] first time a test comes and i fold because you're i mean i i'm just not i don't want god that much
[00:42:28] like okay god like i wanted you but like this is kind of hard i don't know about all of this
[00:42:33] i don't know if i'm gonna go this far with it like i don't know if i'm if i want to take it there you
[00:42:39] know god um and ultimately the things worked out for joseph not because he truly desired
[00:42:46] the riches the status the power it's because he ultimately desired god so he did not earn
[00:42:52] those things through his actions god had already set those things aside for him
[00:42:57] um but he was given them as a blessing as a gift out of god's love for him not because oh
[00:43:04] joseph was a good slave and he earned his take it out like he didn't earn it yeah that's right i think
[00:43:10] another thing is like discipline i think as christians we struggle a lot with this one um but
[00:43:15] allow like your time for contentment like allow these things to consume you like being
[00:43:23] into stepping into getting closer to like who god is and understanding his character
[00:43:29] and understanding that he is not keeping whatever you want away from you because he hates you but
[00:43:35] it's because he's working on it for you and he desires you to have it just as much as you
[00:43:39] desire to have it um but also during this time like you have the opportunity to build a level
[00:43:45] of discipline let's say you want to be a c o of a multi-million multi-billion-dollar company
[00:43:51] you don't think that's going to take discipline yeah and then you want to be a husband or a wife
[00:43:56] and have children you don't think having that career plus that title of being a husband or a
[00:44:02] wife and then the mother or father you don't think that's going to take a certain level
[00:44:06] of discipline you have to practice that now because being those things those job titles those
[00:44:14] positions you don't just wake up one day and become those no you set the building blocks
[00:44:19] every single day to become that you spiritually physically emotionally mentally like you have
[00:44:26] to be spiritually built up you have to pray you have to fast you have to seek the face of god so
[00:44:32] that he can instill wisdom in you and he can prepare you for your purpose um and so you can walk in
[00:44:39] your purpose ultimately but in order to partner with god he's going to require discipline out of
[00:44:44] you and i think that really to like sum all of that up i think it really goes to show that
[00:44:51] contentment is not a feeling it's a decision yeah like i'm deciding to be content despite the things
[00:44:57] that i don't have yet this despite the things that i desire and i haven't they haven't come into my
[00:45:02] life yet i'm choosing to be content with what i have it's not a feeling of just like oh i'm
[00:45:08] waiting because honestly people will never be content if they wait for it to be a feeling
[00:45:13] we see people who have the top like riches of the world they're beautiful they can't they're not
[00:45:19] content with one person they're sleeping with running through people every night there's no
[00:45:23] contentment even though people desire them and it's because it's like it's not a feeling it's a
[00:45:28] decision i'm choosing to be content with my singleness i'm choosing to be content with
[00:45:33] the spouse that i chose because then when you get that spouse at some point they're
[00:45:37] probably gonna get on your nerves too so i'm choosing to be content in this situation
[00:45:41] and even when they get on your nerves even if they look in a little ugly to you that they
[00:45:45] used to that choose to be faithful to them because you made that choice on your wedding day
[00:45:50] yeah it's a choice and i think um and one last thing i'll say before we end this is
[00:45:57] i would say don't allow your desperation for whatever you are believing god for
[00:46:06] to prevent you from ever seeing it i think when it comes to contentment there might be a battle
[00:46:10] of struggling for that desire and struggling to when you step in and out of one foot out of
[00:46:15] contentment one foot into it um i think those seasons and those moments are when the devil
[00:46:21] can definitely try to sneak in because he knows you're at your weakest and he is banking on the
[00:46:26] fact that you will be desperate enough to um settle for the counterfeit don't as a child of god
[00:46:34] we like our father owns all of the riches in the world like he has the world in his hands
[00:46:40] so whatever you are believing god for and whatever he has promised you it will come to pass but don't
[00:46:47] let the desperation of the waiting period or struggling with being content with what you
[00:46:52] have right now allow you to settle for what what is less than god's best for you whatever
[00:46:59] the enemy has for you because his main goal is to derail you from god's plan in your life um so i
[00:47:07] think understanding that you can be confident in the fact that as a child of god you will receive
[00:47:16] everything that the lord has promised you if you diligently walk with him um and desperation is
[00:47:22] not your portion um you are the head and not the tail you are above and not bani and god you
[00:47:30] will see the goodness of the lord in the land of the living amen so yeah i think that is our
[00:47:39] conversation on contentment thank you nalani thank you for having me for coming and talking with us
[00:47:47] and thank you all for listening um if you have any comments or questions feel free to hit us up at
[00:47:54] expect change pod on instagram um and we're happy to hear your thoughts or receive any feedback
[00:48:03] all right we love you guys bye everyone bye