CHM181:Homeschooling Through High School: Real Talk with CJ

Hi everyone, and welcome to the Christian homeschool Mom's podcast. I have today's CJ. She is a wife and homeschool mom to three kids. She enjoys sharing homeschool encouragement about the teen and tween years of homeschooling. Which is our topic today. She loves doing educational reviews and lots of little fun day to day activities, all with Christ at the center. And of course coffee. So fellow coffee drinker, and I'm trying to slow down on the coffee these days. I'm doing more tea, but I get it. I love Mocha's. But it's nice to have you here with us today. Thank you for those who are just meeting you. I'd love for you to share who you are, what you do, a little bit about what led you into homeschooling, and then also just share about your resource that you offer is your vlog on YouTube. Okay, so hello again. My name is CJ. And I'm a wife and a mother to three teenagers, and all three of them are in high school at this moment. So I have a ninth grader. A tenth grader, and a high school senior. And sometimes I forget that my ninth grader is not in middle school anymore, but I love sharing about that age and stage because I just left it and sometimes I still feel like I'm in it. It's just so fresh and new. And the way that you can find me or follow me or just keep up to date with this season. I have a YouTube channel called Homeschooling through High School as well as I am on Instagram with the same Homeschooling through High School, and you'll see this logo and the reason why we started homeschooling, which is in resting because I was a person on a corporate ladder. I had a mission. I was not about to homeschool for anybody. I thought that was just for a little house on the prairie people. With all due respect, I love little house on the prairie. But that's all that I knew growing up. That's just all that I knew. I wasn't aware of everything else. And then I met my husband, who was homeschooled, and I'm like, listen, I'll marry you. I'm not homeschooling, right, which is quite interesting because now look at where I am. And we wanted to homeschool because we just wanted to instill our values into our children, and it just seemed like it would be the perfect fit. So I started with the intention of just homeschooling elementary, maybe middle school, but definitely not high school. And here we are, and I'm happy that we continued on. That's amazing. So you started from kindergarten then, is that? Is that right? Yeah? All the way unto high school. That is quite a journey, and I commend you for that sticking with it. That's a long time. And what has surprised you then the most about how homeschooling is today versus when they were younger, when your kids were younger, because teenagers are a whole different category. And I'm so thankful that you're asking that question because the comparison is not that much different. So when my kids or anybody else's kids are let's say, toddlers, right, or even first grade, second grade, third grade, those ages and stages, they need you so much. And as teenagers, they still need you. It doesn't matter what they say, It doesn't matter if they can drive a car, it don't They still need you. They need mom, they need dad, they need grandma, they need their aunt, they need their family friend. They still need adults in their life for a number of things. So that's just something to keep in the back of your head. Moms and even followers at homeschool that are listening, that they will need you more than you think. We want to raise them to be independent, yes, one hundred percent, but even in the independence, they need you. And I wrote down a few ways that that happens. Can I can I mention them absolutely, let's hear it. Homeschooling my teenagers now is a lot of fun, but there's a lot of just day to day not challenges. It's just different. It's just different. And some of the ways that they need me now are for example, I still grade their papers. I procter their quizes. So for example, if I have outsourced my let's see one of my daughters, she's doing American Sign Language, okay, and so that's online and she meets with an instructor online every now and then. But she may have a quiz or a test that I have to prop ther. They need you for that to have that accountability, and then I have to answer to her teacher that all went well. You are their guidance counselor if they can't drive yet, you are driving all over the place, trust me, and I mean you're driving everywhere because the activities and things just they increase. They do in the high school years, reading aloud to them if they need a mental reading break. You're not just reading to your toddlers. I have read many times to help them out, to support them. Let me read a couple chapters for you, give you a break, and then you come back to it in a few hours or whatever the case may be. Tech support. I know that sounds funny. I know that doesn't sound like it should be on the list, But hey, mom, I'm gonna start my online math class, or I'm getting ready to head out, can you print this paper for me? Or the printer is dead? Or what's wrong with the internet connection? So farth and so on. So I know that's a little I threw that in there to be a little comical, But they need you for stuff like that, even when they can fix it themselves. Because here's the thing that I've noticed is, for example, my son who is the senior, he's all about technology, but there's also a time management shuffle that teens are trying to figure out, and some teams figure it out faster than others. Some know the balance. Everybody is different, right, Even I need some technical help because I'm dashing out the door and I forgot ABC or D, and so I throw that in there just to help you be aware that although they say they're independent and they want to do all of these things, they still need you. They might need you to help them with a project, science fair project, a chemistry lab that they just need that help with, and even things like helping with math. Yeah, helping with math problems and if you don't know the answer, then you can find out the answer for them or help them get the answer or get her tutor or something of that nature. I motivate them on the days that they need the motivation and that uplifting, and then I cheer them on when they accomplish Oh, I figure out the problem, you know, that sort of thing. And as teenagers, what I've noticed, not just for myself but with others is that mom or dad, you're going to be the first person they run to as a homeschooling parent to say, hey, guess what, but I figured out the math problem or hey, look at this. And I just think it's important that I highlight that they do still need you, and then just basic things like life advice and life skills. My tire went flat last week. Hey, guess what, we're all going out to figure out how to do it ex Yeah. Yes, So as you were talking, I was taking notes on all these different categories of helps that we as parents offer our teams. So you said, tech support for homeschooling, tech support, driving them places, transportation, subject matter help. You're their cheerleader, their encourager, you give advice, you're an advisor, you're a career counselor you're all these things. You wear so. Many hats, and what's another one. I'm the lunch lady. I put out snacks all day, all day, or they're accessible, you know what I mean. You're the lunch lady, you're the cook, you're the chef. Yes, you're wearing all the hats. And I forgot to ask you how old your kids are? Your students? Okay, so my ninth grader is fourteen, my tenth grader will be sixteen in two weeks, and my senior is seventeen. Seventeen. Wow, wow, three teens in the house. That's amazing. Okay, So wearing all the hats with all the teens, what does that look like for you on a day today, with all the things that you've just shared that you do. I guess maybe my main question is not so much the day to day because I know every day looks different, but how do you keep from burning out and make everything how do you just sort of make everything even keel for your family? Okay, So starting around sixth grade, I began and to give each one of my kids, once they hit sixth grade, a little bit of independence where I felt they were able to do so. So and I all had centered around schoolwork so that I can build them up to this stage and so that I wouldn't be doing every everything right and so that helped out a lot. So whether it was them reading their own directions and materials, and then I had a checklist and they would bring the checklist to me, not me go find them to go over the checklist, but I would say on Friday, I'm going to meet with you. On Tuesday, I'm going to meet with you, and you bring everything to me, all your books, you know, the whole thing, and make sure it's open and ready to go, and let's check things off. So I would start that early and each year give them more and more little independence, so that now they are independent and what they truly need me for is more. Okay, we're in high school. Now, let's talk about what does your long term plan look like. Have you thought about college? Okay? No, let's move on to the next thing. Have you thought about trade school? Okay? No? Do you want to take a gap year? Do you want you want to take another month? And we talk about it in a month because you're overwhelmed with this whole college fast fa, do this? Do that thing right? And want to play sports. So now I'm more of the guidance counselor the cheerleader, the let me make sure that you're on task. You should be on task anyway. Yeah, but you still need some help. I mean I need help with that area sometimes. And so, in an effort for me not to go crazy and to, like you say, just have a balance, I started that in the middle school years and it's paid off now. On the days that do get crazy. Let's see, let me see, we just had one. It was just all over the place, and I said, you know what, we need a break. Yeah, we all need a break. I need a break, I need a timeout. You all need a timeout. And so let's regroup in two hours, And instead of me stopping there, I would then say, is that going to work for you, my twelfth grader, because you have other things to do? Is that going to work for you? Let's regroup in two hours, because you have to think of it that way, because we're trying to raise them to be independent now outside of our home. So I just don't want to assume that he's available in two hours. I need to show him that respect and are you available in two hours? And if he says no, although I need a break, we need to figure out when he's available. His sister is available. So that's kind of kind of how it flows in our house in these teenage years. Oh, I'm really loving what you're saying here, how you manage your household and your students. I love this because what I'm hearing is systems. You're organized. You create a system for your students, for your children to come to you for these meetings that they know they need to be an active participant in so that they can help you plan their lives. And it sounds like you're a project manager and that you have that strategy, you know how to do this, and it sounds almost corporate in business at home, which works. It works because we'll take it. Yeah, Okay, it's a good thing. It's a good thing. Yeah, And I love that. I love that because it helps, especially in the teen years, it helps them to understand they're part of a team and that they need someone to help them manage and to learn to manage. And that's what you're doing for them. So I love that you're keeping that part of it for them, just this orderliness to it, so that they know where to step into next, what to do. And I didn't come that way, so true. I love that. So what brings you then to the sense of joy or do you feel joy? And if so, what brings you that in this season of homeschooling, anything that makes you feel like, you know, I'm glad I chose to homeschool all these years. Yes. So when I hear the laughter and chatter and the debates and the conversations and those type of things, and I hear that from a distance and it's my kids and they're bonding as siblings, that warms my heart to pieces. That brings me so much joy. They have healthy debates, healthy disagreements, nobody's yelling or screaming at each other, but you know, some based off of it, could be current events or something that we just talked about in our homeschooling space, or something they saw in the history book, or something that's in the science book or book they read, or movie they watched. Whatever. When I hear that and when I see that, then I am ever so grateful that I chose to homeschool and I didn't look the other way, like my heart when it need me to do. Yeah, And just having them around in this stage of life and everythinking I would get here, and the bond that my husband and I have been able to develop with them and then their bond with other family members is really sweet to watch. That's awesome. I'm just really happy to hear that you appreciate all the years that you've been with them at home, that you are happy that you chose this for them, and that your family has like stepped into this. It's an adventure and we don't know what's going to happen along the journey, but when it works, it's so good. It's so enriching for the whole family. So I'm pretty sure there are moms listening right now who feel overwhelmed. They're thinking about, Okay, what's gonna happen for high school? They're already overwhelmed with middle school and elementary. So what are some if you have maybe two or three pieces of advice for moms who were about to homeschool high school, what would. You say to them? Okay, so this is what I would say, whether they're homeschool and high school or any This is the first thing I would say to everybody overall is to give. Yourself some grace. Parents. We are so hard on ourselves and we're doing better than we think, and you're not alone. Give yourself some grace and give yourself if you need to just breathe and regroup, do it. You are doing better than you think, and then take that with you if you are choosing to move into the high school years. You know, I was sharing with someone that I was so petrified of the high school years. So the summer before my son's ninth grade year, I was a hot mess. And those first few months of his ninth grade year, that hot mess of me released onto just that time period. And it didn't need to be so because the only difference now that I know, the only difference with homeschooling high school is record keeping looks different, and the books cost more, and the classes are a little bit more advanced. So the record keeping goes from you know, whatever record keeping you're doing in elementary and middle school, which is pretty basic depending on where you live, and then you take that and you move into high school and all you're doing is putting your record keeping notes into a transcript, and the classes are a lot more advanced. And so I would just encourage you to probably think of it that way now that I've gone through it and shared that with you, to give yourself grace. And I guess the second thing would be to shut out any negative noise that is going to come your way from social media, from that influencer that you watch that all of a sudden flipped and now they're speaking negatively about different things that you believe in. Shut the noise out, and do whatever you need to do for your family, whatever you need to do however you feel that your homeschool life needs to be. Yes, you do it for you and your family and your children. Yes, do it for you and your family. Shut out ariad. That is probably the best piece of advice, because that's what we need right now the way things are going, so yes, we have to shut it all out, all the negativity, focus on our family. You have shared so much practical helps in just this short amount of time, and it is encouraging because so many parents are thinking how can we do this? And we just need a little extra boost of encouragement and support and you've given that today and I'm so grateful for that. I would love for them, for anyone listening today to find out how they can hear more of you, because you have a whole channel and a lot of resources available, so how can they reach you there? Okay, so once again it is Homeschooling through High School. That is my YouTube channel as well as Instagram Homeschooling through High School. You'll see this logo that's on my shirt if you are able to view this. And let me just encourage you with just a quick closing word if that's okay with you, absolutely, and just remember at the end of the day that your relationship with your child is the most important thing. The textbook can be put to the side, right, that is not what is important. It's your relationship with your child. So do whatever you need to do to keep that nice and strong, and I'm sure. To meet true. Will you also include how to reach me or contact me in your show notes? Absolutely, it's going strong O. I appreciate that. Yes, absolutely, so we will make sure it goes in the show notes, your your resources for your YouTube channel, anything else that you have to offer will be there too, So just let me know what to place in there. But CJ, I am so happy that you were here today to join us and share this information with us and encourage us. Really, so many homeschool families don't know if they can. Get to the high school year. So to have people that have been there, done that are doing it, and that are willing to share help and encouragement is so important. So thank you for standing in the gap for the homeschool high school area. Yeah, more than happy to answer any questions. There's a lot, there's a lot to homeschool in high school, but it's not it's not unreachable by any means, It really is not. And so I don't know how I can help your listeners with questions, but I'm more than happy to help out. I love that. Okay, So we'll definitely leave links and we'll talk more about ways we can collaborate to have you help anybody who has questions for CJ. So thank you so much for being here today, CJ. I appreciate it.