CHM180:Don't Quit, Mama: God’s Not Done, with Sharon Jaynes

Hi everyone, and welcome to the Christian Homeschool Moms Podcast. I'm really excited today talking with Sharon James about motherhood and encouraging moms. And on this show, we love to encourage moms in the faith and it's just such an important topic. And Sharon is a conference speaker. She's an author of twenty six books, including When You Don't Like Your Story, What If your worst Chapter Could Become Your Greatest Victories, The Power of a Woman's Words. There's so many, but we're going to highlight a couple of them today. And she is radio co host for Proverbs thirty one Ministries, an avid blogger, a storyteller who loves weaving stories and biblical principles to encourage and empower women to walk, encourage in confidence as they grew ask their true identity as a child of God and a co heir of Christ. Sharon, I love everything about your bias and I can't wait to hear more from you, and so welcome to the podcast. Thank you. I do want to say that we don't have the Proverbs thirty one Ministries radio program any longer, but I did do that for many, many many years, and they've gone to podcast now, so no radio, but podcasts podcasting. Okay, okay, I think you reach a lot of people with podcasting too, so that yes, yes, yes, Well tell us a little bit about you and what inspires you to do the work that you do. This is the great work you're doing. And I'm just amazed at the number of books you've written, so obviously this is a passion. And tell us about your family, things you enjoy doing, what makes you happy. Hey, let me tell you for one of the reasons I do what I do is because, as we're talking about children and family, I did not. I was not raised in your Chris home. I mean, my family went to church. We walked in the door, they said how are you, and we said what do we say? We said fine? But my home was not fine. Growing up, my dad drank a lot, My parents fought a lot. They fought verbally, they fought physically. And I saw things as a little girl that a little girl should never see, and heard words that I should have never heard. And you know what, I didn't know what all these words meant, but I knew how they made me feel inside. And I grew up feeling very afraid and insecure. And inadequate. Like when my mom said, which we probably all said to our kids at some. Point, what is wrong with you? But when my mom said that, I thought, I don't know, but there's something and something's wrong with me. But here's the good news. When I was fourteen, there was a mom in my neighborhood. It was my best friend's mom, and I began spending a lot of time at her house. And you know, I always wandered a daddy who loved me, even though I was terrified of my dad, and I think all kids want a daddy who loves them. And she began to tell me about a heavenly father who loved me. And she shared the Gospel with me. And it wasn't that she sat me down and said, hey, I'm gonna teach you about Jesus. She didn't do it like that. She just talked about Jesus all the time. It was just part of who she was. She sang little praise songs about Jesus. She answered my questions, She started a Bible studying the neighborhood for teenagers. And then when I was fourteen, she sat me down and asked me if I was ready to accept Christ. And I did, and listen, this is he did change my life. But listen, I had to go back home into that violent environment. And we don't have to time today. Maybe we can come back another day and tell the impact of a mom kids in her neighborhood. But through that. Woman, I became a Christian. Three years later, my mom came to christ and three years after that, my dad came to Christ. So through that six year period, I got to see what God can do with a bad story. And that's one reason I'm really passionate about the book. When you don't like your story, what if your worst chapters could become your greatest victories that you mentioned because you know it was what it's during the difficult stories in our lives, say I can use every single bit of it, and He's used all of it. He's used all of it. And when I became a mom, since I didn't have a whole lot to pull from, I became a student of How to Be a Great Mom. One of my first books and I think it's like twenty five years old now, but it's called being a great Mom, raising great kids. So I wanted to learn how to be the best mom I could be and a lot of it I took from missus Henderson. But then I just began to study and ask people what is it about your mom that makes your great mom? And what you wish that your mom had not out done? And you know, came up with being a great mom raising great kids. So I do have a passion for children. For I just have one child that was not my choice, that was God's choice. But I have spiritual children all around the world. And just loved talking to moms. That's amazing. I think floored about how easy it is for someone to just speak into a child's life and have that seed of hope, and then out of that one seed came your entire family. Really, yes, Lord, yes, and yes, just because she was willing to be an available vessel used by God to just encourage you and love you. Right, And she did and she didn't. She didn't like you said, She didn't sit you down and teach you like, okay, this is what the Bible says, and like she was very relational, right. And I thought she was a little odd because she talked about Jesus like she knew him personally, and you know, out but to church and we had religion in our life, but we did not have a relationship, and so I learned what that meant, and I started going to church with them. I would spend the night with them on Friday nights and Saturday nights, and I'd go to church with them on Sunday. And there was a whole group of people who talked about Jesus Light that knew him personally. So I don't think i've cult of voice that in that that those early years. The difference between your religion and a relationship, I can now and I've learned. I've learned that there's a big difference there. So when I had a child, I wanted to make sure and not you know, yes, I was raising my child to be a Christian, of course, but I also the other kids in the neighborhood and the kids that brime here in school with, you know, I made I kept Missus Anderson in my mind and just love done those kids because you. Never know, you just never know, you never know who you will reach just by being obedient to the Lord and being that available vessel. So I'm glad that he was that for you, and now you're being that for so many people and through your books, through your ministry, all the things you've done through your podcasting and radio, like, all of this is you being that vessel. And but it came out of your hardship. And so, yes, that story is encouraging because there's so many people that have had they have these stories, we have, we all have stories. And the fact that we're turning that into something beautiful and allowing God to use that story to be a blessing to the world amazing. So I know that there's a lot of moms out here that are trying to figure out the motherhood thing right and don't feel like we have it figured it out right the right. The lady who's spoken to your life, she naturally like she was able to do that and it was just a natural thing for her. But some people don't feel that that comes naturally to them, or they feel like they're not measuring up somehow to being the woman of God or the mother that God has called them to be. So why do you think that is? And how can we remedy that feeling of struggle and not measuring up? Boy, you said three key words right there and asking that one question, and I want to hit all three of them. You mentioned struggle, you felt not measuring up and that you just don't know what to do. I remember one time when I was teaching my son to ride his his bicycle without his training wheels, and you know, I took him out in the yard, just like we all have done, trying to help some money without you get the rid of their training wheels, and I'd hold the bat and then as soon as I let go, he would fall and he fell and he fell and he fell. And I said, don't give up, because one day, riding your bicycle is going to be the funniest thing you ever do. Okay, home school mom's and no, funnest isn't a word. Don't get on me for that, but I said, it's going to be the funniest thing you ever did. Well, finally, he just threw the bicycle down and he said, this is not fun and it will never be fine, and he went into the house. And you know, I think that we feel that way as mom. Sometimes people talk about how wonderful motherhood he is, and it is wonderful, but some days you really feel like this is not fun and it will never be fine. But you know we're going to look back on it one day and the man that was the funnest time of life. But you know this, Stephen came out the next day and his pajamas, got on the bicycle and just wrote it on by himself. So he had to figure it out, you know, in his head. But we're going to have days. We have days. My son is an adult now, and if there were days when you know, it was just it wasn't fun and I felt like I just wasn't doing anything right. And I think one reason we feel that is because we as moms want to see results, right. We're working hard and we want to see results, and when we don't see the results, that we get descripted. So let me tell you about how the how they grow bamboo. I love the story of how they grew up grow bamboo in the Chinese. They plant the seed and they water the seed. One year, nothing happens, plant the seeds, water the seeds. Second year, nothing happens, water fertilized. Third year, nothing happens, fourth year, water fertilized, nothing happens. Then in the fifth year, the bamboo grows ninety feet eat in six weeks. So here's the question, what about those other five years? Right when nothing was happening, and then all of a sudden did it grow? Did that bamboo grow ninety feet in six weeks or did it take those five. Years of nurturing for it to grow. Ah, that's good, so we know the answer that. I mean, it took those five years and you don't see anything. And that's the way it is with parenting sometimes. I mean, we can be like, throw me a bone, lord, let me see something, you know, but it can take we can go along period of time without out seeing good results. But let me encourage you that every seed that you sew is going to produce fruit eventually. I remember when my son went off to college and he called me one day and he was expected thinking for him to ask me a question or you know, what do you want or you know that kind of thing, and we've ch had a minute and then he said, I said, well, some do you need anything or he said no, I just caught to see it low and see how you were doing. And I thought, oh, my goodness, that's just like a grown up with you. And it was, you know, I just had that picture of that bamboo that all the years of parenting and teaching, and I was just seeing a little bit of the results that yes, he was moving into adulthood. And we get those glimpses when they make good decisions, we get so excited. But I want to encourage you don't get discoursed if you don't see a lot of results. Discouragement. Okay, one other thing you mentioned and that one powerful question you just asked me. I think one reason we get discoursed and think we're not doing it well is because we are comparing ourselves to other women that we think are doing it well. And I will always say, and there's a devotion in the book that we're talking about today, Mama Moments with God that says the measuring stick will get you stuck. Said, there's a whole devotion on that. There's was one on Stephen also saying this is not fun and it will never be fun, but the measuring stick will get you stuck. And I think our culture right now, we are such a comparing culture. I mean there's always been comparison. I mean from the time God created Adam and Eve and canaan Abel came along, you know, came an Abel, there was a comparison. And listen, it never works out well, never when you go through the Bible and you look at people who are comparing themselves with others. Never works out. Well, we know the story of canaan Abel. Moses compared himself to his brother Aaron. We know that. You know, Peter compared himself to John. And remember when when Jesus was resurrected and he was talking to Peter and he was saying, what was going to happen to John? And Peter said, well, what about me? And what's going to happen to me? And basically Jesus. Said, what is that to you? Is? What is that to it is? It is none of your business. That is my translation. It is none of your business. Sure, But all through the Bible, people comparing each other never ever, Rachelly, I mean, we could go on and on and we tend to compare each other. I think it's it's a natural tendency we have. But listen when I let's say, when Alvis to the child. This is quite a lot of time ago, but mothers compared themselves to other mothers in the neighborhood or maybe the other mothers at school. Right now, we are comparing ourselves with mothers around the world through Internet and Facebook, yeah, and listen, don't look at Facebook unless you're willing to feel like you're a total foe of everything right, because it'll make you feel like I'm not doing anything right. I'm watching I'm looking at Pinterest, and my kids are in their pajamas and it is three o'clock PM. So the thing about we have to always remember when we're looking at social media is when we're comparing, we are comparing our backstage to somebody else's highlight reel. You know what. That's so true, Alia, Yeah, we're just comparing things that are our insights to someone's outsides. I mean, there's so many ways to put it, but people aren't putting their struggles. They're putting their highlight reels. That's what they're posting. Listen. They might take twenty pictures of their kid to get one that they can post on social media. So we've got that to contend with that, we are comparing ourselves with other moms and what they're doing on social media. Listen, don't do it. And this is something else for us to remember. Our kids you're growing up with that, so they're going to have the tendency to do that too, and compare themselves with other kids, a cop that they're seeing on social media. So they're going to learn from us how we handle that. They're going to learn how to handle it as well. So comparison, I'm telling you, the measuring stick will get you stuck, and we we just do the bit as we can, rely on God, rely on the Holy Spirit. I remember this one story of a little boy. He was nine years old and he wanted to quit piano. So his mother decided to take him to here a concert pianist named Padawaski, and she took him, he had his little suit on, took him to the concert hall and he got away from her, snuck away. She was talking to her friends, and he got up on stage with the light shining down and sat down at that piano. Bitch, can't you just see this? And he starts playing the most annoying piano song known to man. Do you know what that is? Chopsticks? He's banging out chopsticks? And they were going, where's this boy's mother, what's he doing up there? And Padawaiski came, He heard what was happening and grabbed his jacket, came out on stage, put his arms around that little boy, and he played a beautiful melody around his chopsticks, and the whole time he was going, don't stop, never quit. And you know, when I heard that story. I thought, that's how it is with us as moms. I mean, we can go through a day feeling like we are playing chopsticks. I mean it's just not sounding pretty right, But we can envision Jesus just coming up and putting his arms around us and playing a beautiful melody around what we're doing, our simple efforts, and just saying, don't stop, never quit, don't give up. Oh, that's beautiful, that's beautiful. Don't that's sorry, never quit. And then I love the story about the bamboo shoots and how long it took for those bamboos too to grow and to show the manifestation of all the work that had been laid five years prior. And so I think if we remember that as moms, that our work is not going unnoticed or uncelebrated, that the Lord is with us through the hard the hardship of planting the seeds and toiling the ground, and he is there to cause those things that are supposed to happen to begin working in the hearts of our children, and we're not to give up. And he plays that beautiful melody around our little chopsticks, and whatever we're trying to do, he's gonna make it all work out for our good. Yeah. And I wanted to say too. If you go through the New Testament and you read about how Jesus singled out and cared for moms, there's some amazing stories. We think of the woman who was in the funeral possession with her son who had died, and Jesus stopped and he said, don't cry, and he went and took care of her. She didn't even know who it was. It had nothing to do with her faith. Then there's the other story of when he traveled across the Galilee, went to this town. There was a. Sirophoenician woman there. He healed that woman, well, actually her daughter was possessed by demons, and he healed that girl, this little girl, that mother. He said, you know your great, your faith is your faith is great. I love how it says it in the message, it says woman, your faith is something else. I love that. But the point is he healed that little girl, took care of that mama, and then he left, so that is the only miracle that he did to that one place with that one mother. And he loves mothers. He cares for mothers, even. On the cross. One of the last things he said was to take John, take care of my mom. And so he is. He knows what you're doing, he loves what you're doing. He is right there with you all the time, caring for you. And I'm sure you on. Yes, I'm almost feeling like I'm in church. I'm about to say, Amen, look. Considering girl, Amen, I love it. I love it. Okay. So that said, we know God is with us, we know the Lord is, you know, directing our steps, and he's not leaving us lonely. But sometimes we need community with each other. So I'm just wondering if you have any words of encouragement for moms who are feeling lonely. How can we find that community? What can we do to avoid this whole feeling isolated and separated from other moms. I think that's really important for homeschool moms, particularly because you're not in You're not in a school environment where there are a lot of other moms that you can get with. I know in my I did not homeschool my son, but there were a lot of homeschoolers in my neighborhood and they did get together regularly, and I think that is so important. I think also to if you're in your church, get together with other moms in your church. Be a part of that being in a praying mom's group, just having you know, five or six good friends that are our moms that don't have to be homeschool moms, just moms in general that you're getting together with. And I want to encourage you also, as I mentioned Missus Sanderson, when I was a young mom, there were several mentors in my life. I don't think they would have even called themselves that. But in my church, I was in a Bible study that there were older women and younger women. And I've learned so much from those older women. So I want to encourage you to, yes, you get we get with people that are our same age group to talk about our struggles and just to be friends, just to be girlfriends. But I want to encourage you to make sure that we're getting with some older women too. And you know, prayer. We haven't really talked much about prayer. Well. One of my books is called Praying for your child from head to toe. I'll show it to you, but it'll be backwards on the screen. But it's praying for your child. We had to tell what it is praying scripture. Praying scripture over seventeen areas their their mind and what they think about their eyes, what they see, ears, what they hear, all the way down to their feet, and the path that they take. And it's thirty days of that. But getting with other moms and praying for your kids. But I want to encourage you to as you get with your friends, to just have some fun. Yeah, you really need to do that, going to dinner or going to coffee. Sometimes you can't. You know, if your kids play sports outside the home, you know, use that time too when they're at practice to you know, get what's some other moms. We need each other, he did. You know, even Jesus had friends right right right, had the twelve, but then he had the close three. So you know, you know, we need to do that as well. And I love what you said about making sure that we reach out to those who have been down the road before can be our mentors. I think it's so important for us to have people who understand what it was when they were going through those those years and to be able to speak into our lives. So right, very important point, very important. Yeah, And struggle. What you mentioned something about struggle before. We are going to all struggle. And as we're praying for our children, particularly, we tend to pray that they won't struggle. But let me ask you this, when have you grown the most in your personal life, in your spiritual life? Struggle that's when we grow. So I didn't really pray. I mean I tried not to pray so much that Steven wouldn't struggle, but that he would learn in the struggle and learn the lessons that he needed to learn in the struggle. And it's the same thing with me trying to learn the lessons as we struggle, because that's just part of growth, that's part of all struggle. And if you are with friends and that they never struggle, I would be very cautious because they because they do. We all do. I could tell you some big struggles, but I think we're just about out of time. But it is three those struggles that I've grown the most. That's so true. And I think having access to materials like books and podcasts and encouragement shows, whether they're radio shows or just things that can keep us close to the Lord and remember our role as a mother is important and not be discouraged in our journey. I love that I have this book that you've written, which is Mama Moments with God. I don't know if it's backward in the screen, but I can love this book and I like that. I mean they're like bite size pieces of their devotionals that we can just kind of get a glimpse of where we're going for the day, kind of like remind us to pray those prayers to remember where we are in our relationship with our kids and with the Lord and making those two things together like a thing. Right that what you think of parenting, we think of Okay, Lord, I need you to be my partner in this thing called parenting and I'm not doing this on my own. So I love that you create resources to help moms to do this partnership with God. And I would love for you to just share how we can get a hold of the book that you just showed us. I think that is the one I need next, So does that one? And how can we get access to your materials well? Praying for your child from head to that's the one that I held up first. And it's not a book that you just read it once. It's one that you will go back to time and time again. All of my books are on Amazon or Christianbooks dot com. They have ebooks and audio books there as well, for I think almost on my books, so a lot of them are in Spanish, so you can find that there. Also on my website, all the books are there, and that's Sharon Janes dot com. And my last name is kind of strange, it's ja y n Ees, So Sharon Janes dot com. And on my website you can sign up to receive a devotion weekly. It comes out every Tuesday. But for moms, there's a section called free Resources, and there are lots of free resources you can download. There's lots of things about children there, how to worse your children, hope they never hear words they would like to hear. There's another book called The Power of a Woman's Words. I think you mentioned that one earlier. So some of the lists are on the free section. Two words to speak to your husband, words to speak to your friends, that kind of thing, and some Christmas idea it's just all kinds of free stuff that you can download there. Oh that's that's great. We're going to be able to dig into all of that on your website, Sharon Jane's dot com. Right, so that will go in the show notes. And I excited because you know, it's always encouraging to have someone speak into our lives in this area. This is a tough area of parenting is not easy, and anytime we can get godly encouragement, I think it's just it's beautiful. So I appreciate your words today have really brought life to us on the show, and I thank you for being here. You're welcome. Thank you so much for having me. I'd love to come back sometime. Thank you. We'd love to have you back.