CHM179:My Season of Gratitude: Family Updates, Food Adventures, and Reclaiming God’s Joy

Hey, friends, and welcome back to the Christian homeschool Mom's podcast. I'm your host, Demitria, and whether you're new here or you've been part of this community for a while, I'm so glad that you're here listening today. This podcast is where we talk about faith and homeschooling, motherhood and all the ways that God grows us along the journey, not just as educators, but as women, as parents, and as followers of Christ. So I'm recording this the week before Thanksgiving, and I thought it would be the perfect time to talk about balancing life, nurturing ourselves, and just releasing that weight of perfectionism. This season can be so full of joy, but it can also be a little bit stressful, especially when we layer expectations on top of our daily routines. So before we jump in, I'm going to give you. A little personal update. I like to do that from time to time, just so you guys know that I've been in the journey with you for a while and I'm still here. And just because my life circumstances look different now than they have in the past, and I'm no longer that full time homeschooling mama doesn't mean that I don't still care about you and your household and how things are going for you on your homeschool journey. So I'm here for you and I'm still available. So before we jump in, I just want to share that my youngest daughter, who is now turning eighteen, I can't believe it. She's in the thick of college applications. She's already received a few acceptance letters and we're waiting on a few others, and so I'll probably be announcing that later on in the year and then the year of twenty twenty six. But this feels so exciting and yet surreal. I can't believe that we are to have two girls off into their world of life and doing life on their own before long. Already one of them, my oldest is adulting full time and she's navigating life on her own, which makes me so proud but also reflective of how much has changed in our family and how much is supposed to change, and how much I'm supposed to be adjusting to these nude changes in life. And so yeah, that's what's going on in my world. And I just want to talk about releasing perfectionism because I feel like that is part of adapting to the changes in life that we have as women as we go through these different stages. You know, it's perfectionism and getting past that. And so one of the biggest lessons I've been learning is how to release it, especially in areas where I've been conditioned to think that I should perform at a flawless level and that's just completely impossible. So for me, this comes up around meals in table settings and how do I get that perfect meal out for my family, especially during the holiday season, these Pinterest perfect tables, instagram worthy spreads. I have had to let all of that go, and really, I don't even I hate to say it this way, but I really don't even carry more. I just want a nice, hearty, homey meal, right. I'm not trying to make it look elaborate or acute for Instagram. I'm not trying to take pictures of everything I cook, and so I'm embracing really the joy and the curiosity, particularly in cooking. As of recently, I've been exploring recipes that connect to my heritage, some that I've never tried before. Some Congalise and Nigerian dishes are at the top of my list. I've also started experimenting with some Kenyan recipes. Part of this adventure for me is because I did a DNA test and I discovered that my heritage is rich and layered, and honestly, I've only just begun to explore it. There's so much to it, and so it's fun for me looking these recipes. It's not just about making them perfect, but in fact they're often a little little imperfect, right, a little rustic. Something's a little off with them, And that's the point. It's a celebration of life and exploration and embracing a side of myself that I haven't tapped into before. And that's fun. And for me, these Conglese dishes are great because my husband gets to give the. Taste test of approval. Or disapproval since he is Conglese, and so he will know if I've nailed it or if I've completely flopped. So I know I'm getting a little bit of guidance along the way, you know, as I try out these recipes and see, like what hits for us, what we like, what we don't like. Another thing that I've really been trying our Jamaican dishes. So seasoned love it, Okay, So anything that is different than what I've been cooking over the past ten years. I'm all about it right now, and now it has to be seasoned. But I'm just all about trying new things because I've gotten stuck in a rut. And that happens when you're just busy with life and running businesses and working different jobs. You get really busy. With life and you don't have time to experiment, and you just cook whatever's easiest and whatever is just most convenient to put on the table really quickly. So I've been all about. Convenience for the past two decades, and now I'm really just starting to explore the fun of creative cooking and doing it. Just because it's enjoyable. So for our Thanksgiving meal next week, I'm going back to my tried and true Southern roots turkey stuffing, my favorite mac and cheese bake that everybody in this family love so much that we eat it within one hour. If we have anything left over, it's gone, like probably for breakfast the next morning, because that's how often we're eating it for every meal, lunch, dinner, and breakfast everything. Then I'll probably do some greens flavored with smoked turkey legs, sweet potato pie, whatever else my family decides to add to the menu. I have this favorite dessert that I do every year for almost every single holiday, and it's called a some Moor's cake. So I think I shared a recipe of that cake on my block. So if I did, and this would have been way back in maybe twenty fourteen, if I can find it and I did share it, I'll be sure to post a link write in the show notes. So, even in this familiar tradition, I try to let go of perfection and just enjoy the process of preparing food for the people that I love. Releasing perfectionism isn't just about meals, though I think it's a mindset. It's about being okay with not having every single detail perfect and finding joy in the process and the exploration itself. And this mindset applies to other areas of life, including our schedules, our homeschooling routines, and even our personal growth. Another tip I want to share with you today is about modeling joy instead of burnout. The verse that I've been holding on too lately is Nehemiah eight and ten, and it says, the joy of the Lord is your strength. Now that truth has been so life giving for me, especially during this season of and I'm just gonna say, hey, guys, perimenopause okay and all of the changes that come with that. I'll be honest with you. I don't always feel joy. I don't always feel good in my body right now. Life can be heavy, routines can be taxing, and there are just moments when burnout threatens to take over. But what I've been learning is how to cling to the joyful moments whenever I can. Sometimes joy is little and fleeting. It's like a cup of tea, a few minutes to breathe, or a laugh that I share with my family over funny meme or something that we found that we can laugh about together, and that's enough to strengthen and to center me for that moment. But what I've been doing. Is practicing optimism intentionally gratitude journaling. That's something that's been a huge part of what I do. I love just sitting down to think about what I'm grateful for and journaling about my day. I try to do this every single day. If you check out my homepage at christianhomeschool Moms dot com, you'll see that one of our close and dear friends here at CHM is Latania more and you'll see her banner and a link to her coaching website where she talks about helping people to make those new decisions and create new outcomes for their lives by finding joy in the ordinary. And so I wanted to make sure to plug her on this episode just because I'm talking about it already, and I figured, let's bring Latania into this because she has a whole coaching practice where she focuses on gratitude and joy and journaling, and so check her out at joyintheordinary dot com. So each day I jot down small things that I'm thankful for, whether it's the taste of a new recipe or one of my kid's accomplishments, whatever they've been able to do. For example, my youngest daughter getting some of her college acceptance letters already. My oldest daughter has been getting some gigs where she's able to sing and perform her music, and she's previously been able to worship at our church as a worship leader. She has also had some life changes recently that have allowed her to find her own way, and so now she has a full time job and is making a full time income and is able to pay her bills, and I just find that so amazing to see her now getting her own insurance and taking care of herself. And it's just a blessing as a parent to see your kid be able to do life on their own and watching them launch, going from being in the home to launching them to college and now launching them into real life. So I'm thankful for those things. I'm thankful for simply a moment of quiet whenever everyone's out of the house, like right now, I have this time alone and after I record this episode, after of course putting on some dinner, I'm going to sit back, watch something on YouTube, chill and relax before my activities for the night. So I have a lot of things I got to do tonight as. Well, but between now and then, I could just chill, and so I'm looking forward to having some alone time. Another state that I'm having to do more frequently now is watching what I eat, you know, and I have to care for my body in a different way than I did before this perimenopause phase, and this has been another practice of positivity. For example, I recently had to give up coffee for health reasons, and I know that sounds unfortunate for me. I know that because you guys are listening, who are really, really in love with your coffee and have to have it several times a day, you'll understand why this has been hard for me. I love my Mocha's. I'm not a two to three times a day coffee drinker, but even just one mocha a day made me so happy. But as of the last year, I have discovered that it's not good for my blood pressure, and it's not good for a lot of other things in my body right now, So as I'm cleaning house, meaning the temple that God has given me, I have to keep it functioning well for me. What works for me is staying away from tremendous amounts of caffeine, and that includes daily coffees. So I can't have it every day, and in fact, when I do try to have it once in a while, I get heartburned, so it's not for me. Unfortunately, now I do have to find other things to make me happy. So green tea has been a good replacement for me, and I'm rediscovering that simple joy of a green tea in the morning. There's something really calming and restorative about holding that cup and taking a moment and just really savoring my tea. So I also try to move through this season of my life with its hormones and transitions and challenges, with intention deep breaths, moments to just relax, and small acts of self care. I don't believe that's too indulgent. I think it's necessary and I need it. The beauty is that when I model joy and self care, my children are watching me, and they're learning that life doesn't have to feel like a constant hustle. And my life is super packed and it is busy. I wish I. Could give you, guys a day in the life of what life is like for me right now, because you would be wondering how I have time to sit down and record episodes, or how I have time to do anything. But I'm learning daily how to be graceful in the things that I have been intentional about doing. I try to find ways to do them gracefully. And I don't know any other way to describe it. But if it doesn't feel like I can gracefully do it, if it's too much of a hustle and bustle where it's destroying my peace and it's just too anxiety driven, then I will let it go because it's not for me in this season of my life, and maybe. It never will be. So I've learned to find those things that don't feel good in my life and try to just remove them or minimize the impact that it has on me. I'm really trying to care for my peace of mind, my mental health as well as my physical health right now, and so this helps me to find space to just explore, to save her life and to be grateful. So this leads me. Into another lesson that I'm learning right now. It's the importance of embracing the small joys in life. Like I said earlier, even with just being able to find recipes I enjoy cooking. I've noticed that as I've gotten older, that what truly feels my soul is not always those huge accomplishments or huge events that happen. Sometimes it's the simple, everyday moments that bring the most satisfaction for me. Right now, that looks like just sipping a warm cup of tea in the morning after giving up my coffee, or just sitting with the quiet and reflecting on what I'm grateful for. It's tasting a new recipe that I've created or that I'm researching about. So maybe I go out to restaurant and see if I like it and do some taste testing. Even if it's not perfect what I'm creating, it provides me that satisfaction. I can smile at those little imperfections. It's noticing small acts of kindness from my kids, from my husband, you know, seeing them take ownership, or my kids at least take ownership of their own responsibilities, and celebrating those tiny victories that they're able to achieve. And so I'm also trying to intentionally find gratitude in the mundane, like the smell of a home cooked meal, or the laughter during a family conversation, or just the soft hum of a quiet evening. If we can just get past all of the things going on on our phones, turn our phones off for a minute, and just have some silence, that is healing for my soul. These moments may seem really small, but they accumulate into a rich tap street of joy that sustains us through those busy seasons. By leaning into these small joys, we create a life that is vibrant and grounded and full even when everything else feels hectic or uncertain. And these joys are a gift from God. Recognizing them helps us cultivate a heart of gratitude and presence in every season. So here I want to share a practical tip that's really been helping me in this season of my life as we think about gathering together for family over the holidays, whether it's Thanksgiving or Christmas or Honka or whatever you're celebrating, and to help you create intentional space for yourself. So this can look different for everyone, and for me, like I said, it's cooking that new dish just for the fun of it, or taking a quiet walk, or sitting down with my tea, or carving out a couple of minutes for a gratitude journal or a prayer. But the key is giving your self permission to nurture your own soul, not just your family, not just your obligations for the day. Even small pockets of time just dedicated to self care can refresh your perspective. You'll find your stress easing, and you'll be reminded of what truly. Matters for you and your family. And when we do this, we're modeling healthy boundaries and self respect for our children, showing them that taking care of yourself is not selfish, it's necessary for living well. So as Thanksgiving approaches, as of this recording or whatever season you're listening to this and this applies for you, I want to encourage you to let go of the pressure to be perfect, embrace joy wherever you can, and say the small but meaningful moments. This season is not about flawless, perfect meals or perfect schedules or instagram worthy tables. It's great if you can do all of. That, and I commend you and applaud you, and I will be going to Instagram and Pinterest to find your recipe and pin it to my board. But it's not about that, right, It's about gratitude and reflection and fully inhabiting the life that God has given us. Whether it's exploring new foods or taking a quiet moment with your tea or coffee, journaling your gratitude, or noticing your child's small accomplishments or big accomplishments. These are the things that nourish our hearts and our souls as women. So remember your joy does matter. It matters to God and it should matter to you. He does want you to be joyful. I have heard the phrase that God doesn't care about our happiness. He cares more about our obedience, and that sentence, that phrase that's saying rubs me the wrong way, because we serve a really, really good God, and he's so good and he loves us, and he does care about our joy. And He is not the author of confusion. He's not the author of bad things. He doesn't create the bad in the world. And so when we are suffering, it's not because God placed the suffering on us. Is not because. God created those situations for us so that he can teach us a lesson. So I personally believe that God allows us. He steps back, and he allows us to go through the things of life that are not offered by him, because this is a sinful. World and. There's a lot of evil in this world, obviously, and so we are going to have our joy snatched away from us many times. But that is not what God wants, right, And I believe that He wants us to get our joy back and reclaim it. And so when I go back to that verse in Nehemiah chapter eight, verse ten, again, it reads the joy of the Lord is your strength. Okay, So when I think about that, it lets me realize that he does want me to have his joy, which is not the same thing as happiness and glee and giddiness and all of that. Right, it's a special kind of joy that only comes from him. It's a special kind of peace that only comes from him. Right. The joy of the Lord is our strength. It's what keeps us and sustains us through the hard times in life that we will inevitably have. We are going to have hard times. But the joy of the Lord equals in mathematics terms, equals is our strength. So if we want to be strong, if we want to get through the tough times, we have to have the joy of the Lord. Remember, my friend, that your joy matters. Self care matters because God cares for you, so you should also care for you. And the small moments, even the imperfect, everyday moments, truly make a difference in shaping a life filled with contentment and faith. And thank you so much for spending these few moments with me today. I hope that this episode gives you encouragement to embrace joy, to embrace it completely. Don't ever think that God doesn't want you to have joy or to feel joyful. He is your joy and he is your strength. So let go of perfectionism, find gratitude and the everyday mundane things. And I'd love to hear how you're finding little joys and practicing self care this season. This is the season of Thanksgiving, right, So let's see how we can really practice that in our everyday life. Even when things are not going well, even when everything's up in the air and we don't know what's going to happen next for us, and everything looks like it's falling apart, how can we still, in the midst of our circumstances find a glimmer of hope and find joy in Christ. So you can reach me at christianhomeschool Moms dot com and if you like to contact me, there is a contact page and I will most definitely. See your request. I do have a lot of requests that I need to go through over the next couple of weeks, the many that I've just not been able to reply to because there's just a lot coming through. But when I see your request, if you want to chat, or if you want to book an appointment, if you need a direction for home education. As far as questions about homeschooling your kids or if you just need some coaching, I have recommendations for that as far as guiding you to Tracy Kelly, who is a homeschool coach and would love to have you, go visit her at. Homeschool power dot com. But if you want to talk to me personally and just reach out to me, you can by visiting Christian homeschool dot com. You can also connect with me on social media. I'm not there a lot, but you will see my Instagram there, and whenever I can post, I do post interviews that we've had here on the show, and from time to time, whenever I can find a little bit of extra space in my schedule, I might post some encouragement there as well. But until next time, my friend, just remember to savor the small moments, embrace the journey, and. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength. And I'll be back next time with an interview with an awesome guest coming up, And until then, happy homeschooling.