CHM178:Your Gifts Are Not on Hold: Motherhood and Mission Can Coexist

Hi, everyone, Welcome to the Christian homeschool Mom's Podcast. I have a special guest. Her name is Audrey Brenda Spoker, and she is a mother of six who is passionate about motherhood. She homeschooled her kids. We're gonna have to talk more about this for more than twenty years, and her path is letter through hundreds of the greatest works ever written and onto stages all over the country and dozens of classrooms. She's gonna share with us today about so many things concerning things that you're gonna help us as homeschool moms. She's the author of the Mission Driven Life, so we will be talking about that. She's also the host of the Mission Driven Mom podcast and the creator of the Mission Driven Mom and Mission Driven Teen Academies. That's a lot, we love it. Thank you so much for. Being here, Audrey. Yeah, thanks for having me. Yeah. Okay, So we're going to talk about first off, they can you just share maybe a bit about your personal life. Things that make you happy, things that make you tick. What do you love. I didn't know it until I was in my twenties, but I do love to read, I love to learn, I love the arts. In college for a couple of years, I took a bunch of our history classes because I was really passionate about that kind of stuff. I'd obviously love to spend time with my family. I have a lot of kids and a huge extended family, so lots of time doing that kind of stuff. And I'm not an artist at all, but the right brain activity is great. So I do sometimes try to draw things or try to paint them, and no one gets to look at them, but at least it's like, you know, relaxing. So for you it's car cathartic. Maybe. Yeah, I think that you love to do That's so cool. So you're an artist, and I love talking to artists. I'm creative too, I love music, and so yeah, it's kind of a zone out in our family. Yeah yeah, Okay, So we're going to jump into this topic of your work, how you mentor people, how you mentor women. You've been doing this for a long time and you discovered something called the Seven Laws of life mission, so share with us what that is and then how it shaped the way you approach motherhood and homeschooling. All right, So I had lots of little children running around. I decided through some investigation in the community and other experiences that we were going to try homeschooling, and you know, that's a whole like baptism by fire kind of experience we all know. And life feels super out of control. And then, of course you layer that with just other personal problems, extended family, marital issues, financial issues, and I found myself. You know, I thought that I always wanted to be a mom. I was excited to be a state at home mom, but I didn't anticipate what it would actually look like day to day, and so I felt pretty overwhelmed. And I tried a lot of things. I tried therapy, I tried courses online, I tried reading a lot of books, going to like conventions and events, and you know, it's not that there weren't sometimes things that were helpful, but I couldn't I couldn't figure out how to feel comfortable in my own skin, confident in myself and my own decisions, and clear about my goals and just all of that. I don't know, I think a lot of women struggle with that kind of stuff. So I just decided I was going to dig deep. I was going to just study like crazy. I don't know, if you've ever read The Hiding Place, that sounds so familiar. Yeah, I think so well, Ted Boom, it's quary Ted Bim. Yes. Yes. So that was a total life changing, game changer moment for me when I finally read that book, because that showed me the kind of life I wanted to live, the kind of family I wanted to have. I mean, I don't think I'm probably going to say the lives of hundreds of Jews, but definitely the way that they interacted their faith, their relationships, their their confidence, their anyway, all of that I wanted it. I didn't know how to get there. And finally, at one point I thought, I found out that Corey had other books, and so I dug into her other books, and what I discovered was that they had been a lot like me when they were younger, and I had had no idea because when you meet him in The Hiding Place, they're kind of like this finished product. You know, Father ten Boom is in his eighties and he's the most wide sage that ever lived, and they're incredible people and they make all the right decisions to all our things. But it wasn't always like that. And so actually it was just some hope. I just realized, Wow, okay, so I want to better understand how they got from you know, their marital struggles, their financial struggles, their business struggles, their reallytionship struggles, and you know, father was a really judgmental guy. He struggled with a lot of resentments. Like they were normal people with things that they needed to work through, and the pathway of studying about them and then that led me to studying the lives of a lot of other great men and women, like, well, how did they How did Ben Carson become the person that you know, he is incredible. I'm just oh my gosh, He's one of my one of my heroes. How you know, how did mother Teresa do it? How did I don't know? C s Lewis, Like, these were the people who I loved, I adored, I admired. I wanted to understand how they become those these became those people, and over time, over years, I began to see a pattern emerge. And that's what the seven laws of life mission are. They are the seven laws that these men and women all adhere to. Now, they didn't think, I mean, obviously they did know, they wouldn't have put it that way, they wouldn't have talked about it in these terms. But if I but as I deconstructed their lives, I saw that every one of them lived these seven laws to accomplish the great positive impact that they had in the world. And then that gave me a roadmap that helped me have tactical actions I could take to Actually it wasn't just a mystery like, oh, I'm just gonna always admire them. I mean being in their company by reading what they wrote was helpful. But now I knew what I could tangibly do. So delineated the seven laws of life. Mission Each of them has three, but there's probably more. But the three key principles and principles are truths that are always true all the time for everyone everywhere, whether you go back in history or you go forward in the future, that would it would still be the case that if you lived that neuggative truth, you would have positive fruits in your life. And the way that I like to talk about it is that they are God's instructions. This kind of how C. S. Lewis talked about it, their God's instructions for running the human machine. There are things the truth that we can uncover and discover. We don't create them, but we could discover them. We can live in accordance with them. Simple way of thinking about it is, you know, we all know financially that there are certain things we must do if we want financial stability. We must live within our means, we must stay out of debt. We must say for a rainy day. And those are principles. Those are hard and fast, they're never going to change. Somebody's always going to have to do those if they want good finances. And so in terms of living these laws, there's principles that undergird those. And so that's what I've delineated in the book. And this is this show us the book the mission. It's pretty important, sweet and it's very readable. So actually, to make sure it's really cool. When I was writing it, I found the copyright holders of all of Corey ten Boom's books and I was given permission to quote as extensively as I wanted to very cool, so what I've done, and to use as many images as I want. So the mission driven life. The subtitle is discover and fulfill your unique contribution to the world. Is the story of the ten booms I've taken in information. I wanted to catalog you know, I thought long and hard about it, and I could have told a lot of stories about a lot of different people, and instead of doing that in the book, I've done that in podcasts. So I have a lot of podcasts called mission driven Story and it's about someone Eric Little or Dorothea Dix or whoever it might be. Charlotte Mason, I have one on her very cool, definitely mission driven and so but I wanted to show, from beginning to end, this is how they became these people. So I talk about the whole family and I share all of their stories, so it's very story driven while you learn about these seven laws and how they help the ten Boon family become who they became. Wow Wow. So it's pretty quick, easy read. But and anybody, and we'll talk about this at the end, but anybody can go to the mission driven mom dot com and get a free audiobook. So that's awesome. They just go there, grab the audio books, start listening to it right now. I love that, and thank you so much for that gift. I'm such an audio learner as well. Set anybody else to be able to have the Seven Laws because they're so so hot. Okay, now I'm so interested in like just learning more about these laws. Yeah, and I know that mom's listening today. You know, we have we're so overwhelmed. And we also know that we have gifts that God has given us that you know, sometimes we put some of our gifts on hold for a bit, or we bring a few of them out, you know, and in the most opportune times when we can, you know, because life is cyclical and so eventually, what we don't use in one season of our life we bring back in another season. But we're so wrapped up in homeschooling, teaching those lessons and doing the laundry, all the things that we have to do. So how can a mom identify her God given gifts? Maybe maybe we don't know what they are? And is there some way we can figure out where Sided leading us? What are those gifts He's given us to do? Yes? Okay, so obviously we have an academy and that's what we do. It's just hardcore. You want a deep dive if you really want it, thirty minutes a day. That's how it's strung sured for busy moms go check it out. But in terms of anybody right now, one of the most important things and you already you don't need me to say this, but hopefully when I say it, it will resonate with what you already know to be the case. Every woman listening, well on, every person listening is a magnificent creation, and God has given them some gifts they still have yet to discover. One of the greatest joys of life is self discovery. And you know, one of my favorite stories to tell is years ago I was at a Fourth of July event and they had all these different booths set up where you could go see things that they used to do, making soap, making candles, you know, stuff like that from the Founding era. And one man was doing pottery and he was, oh, probably seventy maybe older. And when I asked him how, I was like, oh, certainly this is so beautifully at his pottery out you could buy some of his pieces. I was like, certainly you've been doing this all your life. He says, no, no, no, just the last few years. I've always wanted to take a pottery class, so I did. Turns out I'm good at it, and now I have my own little mini business, and I go out and I do these little demonstrations and I sell my pottery. So I hope that everyone listening will be on a journey of self discovery for a lifetime and beyond. And I hope that you'll recognize that there are many things that you still don't know about yourself, and you get to keep finding those things out. And the thing that you could do right now today is to stop making excuses for why you're not gonna try something. Making excuses. Yeah, try the thing that you want to try. Yeah, and don't tell yourself that you can't afford it, and don't you tell yourself that you don't have time. Because you represent to all of those little people in your house. You represent womanhood, you represent motherhood, you represent adulthood, and your example is everything. So let them watch you try things and fail. Yeah, let them express to them. You know, I've always wanted to play the drums, I've always wanted to skydive, I've always wanted to whatever. So I'm saving up for it, or I'm you know, cleaning houses to learn a little extra money. Bring them on the journey with you, let them want you doing it. Let them see that it's okay to fail that that's what we do, and let them be excited about the fact that they have some talents and interests that they get to discover now and they get to do that all their lives. There's too many women especially well maybe I shouldn't say especially. Maybe it's everywhere. Maybe it's not just homeschool moms, but I've run in homeschool circles so long, for so many homeschool moms say it that like no, no, no, this is my children's time. And I get that. I understand, Yes, of course they're number one, But also bring them on a journey with you. Let a little bit of what you do together be about Mom is a person too, and mom has needs and wants to and we're gonna do this. Take them on your service, work with you, take them on whatever you're doing, and let them just And that's one of the reasons we home to school in the first place, anyway, right, so that they can see what the world is like and have more cool experiences we wouldn't have time for other onis. Yes, I think so many, so many times we maybe some of us in our generation were not able to see our parents really struggle right, And so maybe we're afraid to show our kids the reality of what it's like to do the things that you want to do right, because maybe our parents didn't watch to show us that side of themselves. There they're being strong for us, right, and they're they're keeping that stability in the home. So we might not have gotten a chance to see them explore their creativity right because they're they're holding down the fort and they're doing the things that they did in their generation to make sure that we're okay. But we're we have the. Freedom to explore our creativity to our kids that it's okay to use those gifts that God has given us. And thank you for just like releasing us to do that, because we need to be aware that when God puts something in our hearts, is not there for nothing? Is there a fair Raymond he wants to act. It's just a matter of when yes, yes, I love I interview you. Have you ever heard of Philish Slaffly. Sounds familiar, but again so she basically shut down the ra movement back in the seventies and eighties. But years ago I interviewed her daughter, and her daughter said, because Phylish Slaughly was brilliant, and she had this thriving career. And then she got married and stayed home with her children. And then as they got older, she started writing books on the side while her children were at home. And then she started this magazine, and then she did this movement and that she started Eagle for from all over the country, and she was just his powerhouse. She was friends with Ronald Reagan. Wow well, Philish Slaughly said, women can women and mothers can have it all, but not at the same time. Ah, that's good. So I love what you can keep. How you keep pointing out there's seasons for everything. But also, like if I've always wanted to try the guitar, just grab a guitar or go spend twenty bucks at the music store or rent it. Then share it. Then ask yourself, Okay, now I could play a few songs, how can I share it in my community? Go over to an elderly home and play guitar and sing some songs with your children. Use that gift to serve in your community. You don't have to be a professional musician, you don't have to have all the answers, you don't have to do anything perfectly. You can just step out, and boy, it will it will just free Like your children will think differently about themselves, about the world. Infinitely when they see Mama step out and I love that one the words step out, and that means we can't be sitting down on it, we can't be holding it in forever. There's a time, in a moment, there's a season. Like we keep talking about seasons, but there's a season two step out and do the work. And the work should be fun because it's been bound up in our hearts for so long. Finally release it. It's gonna be so freeing and just lovely, and our kids need to witness that. So okay, let's say listeners today are saying, okay, yeah, that's me. I want to move forward. So what's the next step that they can take to just start discovering what their mission is? Well, okay, so the laws, the first four laws are foundational laws, and they prepare us to hear God's calls for us. Now, motherhood is a call. Yeah, you know, marriage is a call. Like you're already in it, like you're doing the calls. You're already a leader, You're already in it. But if you have a mindset of I'm going to strengthen my foundation. It gives you some direction. So those four foundational laws are loving God, loving yourself, loving the truth, and loving humanity. And we always our women start out in the academy with level one, which is laws one and two, loving God and yourself, and they're all bound up with each other. And it seems maybe a little counterintuitive to say, I'm going to find my mission by taking better care of myself. But if you don't do that, then when God wants to use you, everything unravels because you're a mess. So you've got to make sure that you are grounded and that there's three principles. One of the questions that you put on the list that you sent me was something like, what's a realistic habit that women could start doing or something like that. Mm hmm. Well, loving God is obviously about being willing to listen to him, developing a relationship with him, all of those kinds of things. But loving yourself is meeting your real needs. It's managing your heart in your mind, and it's discovering your greatest gifts. And those are the three principles that women can work on right now. And I would say the number one is meet your real needs. We always Mortimer Adler taught me that we often we always know what we want, but lots of times we don't know what we need. We want soda, but we need water. We want to watch a movie, but we need sleep. We want a cookie, but we need You know enables yes, yes, yes, and being prepared to really be able to answer the call to bless those around you in your home and outside your home begins with your relationship with yourself. There's a lot of stuff out there about self care, and some of it is not helpful. It's not a bad thing to go on and retreat with your girlfriends, and it's not a bad thing to get your nails done. But you need to nurture your mind and your body and your spirit and your and your emotions. You need to nurture those things. You need to be emotionally resilient, and you need to be mentally tough, and you need to be spiritually attuned. And so you have me and if you ignore them, they're not going to go anywhere. They're just going to show up in symptoms you don't want, like depression, anxiety, overwhelm, frustration, and then you're not going to show up for anybody right yourself the way you want to. And what meeting your real needs does is it helps you develop what we like to call a realistic optimism. You don't have your head in the skies, but you can wake up in the morning ready for the day and not just like totally bummed out that everybody's gonna want and they're gonna take and take and take. We do struggle with boundaries as a generalization. As a general rule, women do struggle with those healthy boundaries, and your boundaries will naturally strengthen and develop and become more natural and organic because as you take care of yourself, when you love yourself properly by meeting your real needs, these are needs no one can No one can get information into your mind, No one can nurture your soul, no one can get the vegetables into your belly. You have to do those things for yourself. Yep. Absolutely, you have to do the work, Yes, and you have to take initiative because no one is going to mean you might get some encouragement and some support, but no one can do it for you. So I love what you're saying, and just the encouragement you're giving us today to move forward. In our. Gifts that God has given us so graciously. And I love what you're doing with Mission driven Mom. So you have books, you have courses, you have so many things. Tell us a little bit about like where you see your movement, the mission driven Mom movement heading in the next couple of years, maybe five to ten years or however, and then like what you offer and how we can be supported, how we can reach you that kind of thing. Okay, we'll do so, first of all, go get the audiobook, because why not, it's just going to give you if there's if you can take one thing from that book that's helpful for your life, that I will be so grateful. We used to offer the audiobook, and then I edited the book and made some changes to it, and it's just been a few years since we could offer it because I just didn't get back to rerecording it. But now it's available again. So go to the Mission driven Mom dot com and grab the audiobook, start listening. If you want to grab a copy of the book, I think it's seventeen dollars, so it's just nothing, and you can have a hard copy if you want that. Of course, there's the podcast release those Every week I talk about things that are relevant to women and mothers in terms of how they can take better care of themselves, how they can increase their confidence, how they can better understand what mission driven living means, how they can plug into those seven Laws. I try to touch on at least one of the laws or principles each week in terms of how what I'm teaching applies to that principle or law so that you can better live them. Tell lots of mission driven stories if you want to be inspired by the lives of men and women who have lived this life. And then, of course we have our Academy levels. The first level is Laws one and two. You'll learn to love God and yourself better. You know, it started out as a hobby. I was in a women's class and the teacher handed out roses at random to women in the class. And then she went up to the front and she said, everyone I handed a rose two, come up to the front and tell us something good about yourself. And this is when I really, this is when I determined to build the Academy because I was in a room with friends and one by one, these women that I knew and that I loved, went up to the front of the class, put the rose in the vase and said some snarky or self deprecating comment. Not one of these dozen women that went up to the front could just confidently tell us something they were genuinely good at. And I just I thought about that for weeks, and it just hit me while they're in so much pain, and I just I put everything that was the very most helpful information that helped me into this academy started out as a hobby, and it just grew and grew and grew. We've had over six hundred women to levels one and two now, and we've had thirty or forty of them graduate all the way through, and it's just been a joy to work with them. Each level takes nine months to a year, so you're with us for a while. You're spending thirty minutes a day. This community becomes your people. You're mentored all the way through with classes and lives and a community online. It's a beautiful journey. But we'll teach you how to meet your real needs, how to govern your heart and your mind better, how to discover those gifts there. I think there's seven or eight different assessments and tests that you take in the academy, and then we give you actions that you can do to develop those different aspects of yourself. At the end of the Level one you write a personal mission statement of where you're headed next. And then Level two is a deep dive into how to understand and learn and live according to actionable principles. Teach you how to be real truth seeker and a lover of truth. So anyway, it's those are the things that we offer that women can plug into. Obviously, we would love, you know, for as many women who would like to to join us there and be on that journey with us. But at least go grab the audiobook of the Mission Driven Life so that you can learn those seven laws for yourself. Adre. There's so many resources you offer, So first of all the audiobook, everyone has to go grab it, so we're going. To leave a link to it. But your membership, the community, the support, the thirty minutes a day, just the talking through the mission, creating that mission, those action steps, that is what we need as women. We need to support each other and to know what our steps are and then form community in order to take that initiative and get those things done so that we keep moving forward and not be stuck at a standstill. So that's what you do. You help us move forward, you coach us through it, and so really grateful that you offer that. So that's so cool. Thank you, and I love talking with you. We need to know how to reach you. Give us your website address, how we can sign up for your courses, buy your book, any of those things. Yeah, it's all right there at the mission driven mom dot com. There's a button start here. It will give you a lot of in depth information about the academy. You can read a whole bunch of testimonials. You can go to our YouTube channel where there's a bunch of video testimonials if you want to like hear those women talking about their journey specifically. But yeah, it's all right there. You can buy the book there, you can sign up for the academy there. It's all the Mission drivenmom dot com. Mission driven mom dot com. Thank you. You may sure to put this on the beginning the mission driven. Mission driven Mom. Okay, we'll leave that exactly so we don't want to miss out in on any of the words. So, but thank you so much. I have enjoyed talking with you. It's been a pleasure. It's been very encouraging, so I appreciate you. So great to Scourt be here. Thank you. It's you're welcome.