CHM171. Fostering Safe Spaces for Black and Brown Homeschoolers with D.M. Whitaker (Juneteenth Version)

[00:00:11] Hey, and welcome to the Christian Homeschool Moms Podcast. I'm Demetria, your host. I'm a veteran homeschool mama who loves encouraging homeschool families. And if you're tuning in, that means you belong here. Whether you are a full-time homeschool family or traditional schooling family, or you're walking a hybrid path, I hope to encourage you and support parents who are intentional about advocating for your child's academic growth and personal growth.

[00:00:36] So this summer, we are running the Interview Marathon Series. I have a lineup of a lot of conversations with homeschool parents and publishers and thought leaders, and I hope to equip you this summer so you're super ready for a brand new school year. I also want to quickly shout out the Christian Women Podcasters Network. And if you haven't joined already, and you are a woman of faith who is podcasting, I'd love to have you join me over there at christianwomenpodcasters.com.

[00:01:01] Now, today's guest is super exciting for me to introduce to you because she is a phenomenal woman, and you're going to find out more about her in the interview. But she is an author, a homeschool mom to two boys, ages eight and five. She is a former reading teacher. She leads a homeschool community group in her city that fosters community learning environments and social and educational activities for black and brown homeschool families.

[00:01:24] She's an author. Her name is DM Whitaker, and she specializes in creating daily life and social skills books for elementary and middle schoolers and mainly empowering them to be the best versions of themselves in their homes, classrooms and communities. Her titles focus on essential social emotional intelligence skills, helping kids navigate relationships, understand emotions and engage positively in their communities.

[00:01:48] In addition, she owns Water Rocks Publishing, which is a publishing and branding agency for authors, businesses and speakers. And she loves family vacations, traveling and shopping and serving with her soar sister. So I am super excited to have her on the show. Can't wait to introduce her. So let's get straight into the interview. So we have a lot to talk about today. Welcome to the show, DM. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

[00:02:15] You're so welcome. We always start by sharing a bit about ourselves because I gave your intro and your bio, but we just want to get a little personal and find out more about homeschooling and how you were led into the homeschool space and a little bit about your journey, about how you started creating community spaces for other homeschoolers. Absolutely. So I am all the things that you said. I am first a wife to the Reverend Brandon Whitaker.

[00:02:45] And we have two amazing boys, Deuce, who is eight, and Elisha, who is five. And I've been homeschooling them since the beginning. They've never attended public school, but I got into homeschooling in a very interesting way. I never wanted to be a homeschool mom. I actually was a reading teacher when I was pregnant with my oldest son.

[00:03:10] And then my oldest son was born 40 weeks, New Year's Eve, an hour and 10 minutes before the new year. And he had to have open heart surgery three days later. We knew he had some small holes in his heart, but we did not know that his arteries were flipped. And so within 14 hours, they were rushing him to a children's hospital to get him hooked up.

[00:03:34] And my life just changed. You know, I wasn't thinking about going back to the classroom like it's oh, oh, it's winter break. I'll take, you know, a little bit of time off. I'll come back before the school year. That was always the plan. That plan was aborted immediately. And so by the grace of God, he was able to have surgery with with all the God things happening and everything been aligned by God.

[00:03:59] He was able to have surgery on the third day of life, which was very God happening because it wasn't planned. And heart surgeries are planned weeks and months, you know, in advance. And so he had the surgery and he's doing phenomenal. But six months after he had this surgery, my husband took a job. He's an electrical engineer by trade and he works for the railroad. And so he took a job in Texas.

[00:04:26] And so we packed up our house and our six month old and we moved to San Antonio where we had no family. My dad was in Houston. His parents and his sister were in Dallas, but we knew no one in San Antonio. And I was going crazy. I was very busy, you know, in my hometown community and different organizations, teaching in the classroom. And then I went to a place where I knew no one and I didn't know what to do.

[00:04:53] And so I reached out to the local chapter from my sorority and I went to a meeting. And one of my sorors was sitting on the board at that current time for Bible study fellowship. And she said, hey, your stay at home mom, you should really go check out this Bible study. It's a mommy and me Bible study. Your son, he'll have a class and then you'll have a class and you'll really love it. I just really want you to check it out.

[00:05:20] And when I tell you that just changed my life, it's crazy. Like I never I've always loved Bible studies. I didn't know how instrumental being in a group of women would change how I would see education and educating my children. Every mom who was white in my group were homeschooling.

[00:05:50] Wow. And that was it. Like I was and I have a two year old at the time. So I'm just listening and gleaning. I'm talking about curriculums and co-ops. And I'm just like, wow, OK, you know, I can do this. And, you know, I've taught people's kids for over 10 years in some capacity. I can teach my own kids. And so I just did it. You know, I spent so much time with my husband vetting daycares back home. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. I don't know anybody here.

[00:06:20] I'm not dropping my precious baby off to daycare. I'm going to homeschool him. And so you were going to homeschool him from six months old? Six months. Wow. So, you know, I committed to that and we were in San Antonio for three and a half years. We got back to San Antonio. We got back home, which is home for me is Nebraska. I live in Omaha, Nebraska. And so now I'm back home. Of course, like I know the schools. I know the best schools where to go, where not to go.

[00:06:48] And it was still like God was convicted my heart. Like, no, you're supposed to be homeschooling. You need to homeschool. And so that is what started my journey. And, you know, I've had some interesting experiences. So I went from being in Texas, which is a little more diverse in the sense of just the population of homeschool communities and families to coming back to Nebraska. And it's a luxury here for a lot of people.

[00:07:15] And so, you know, we joined a co-op that was great. They had all these different elective classes that my kids could take. Robotics and chess and karate and science. They had all these amazing classes. But the one thing I noticed was that we were one of three families. Wow. And we're talking to a building. It was in a church that was full of hundreds of kids. Yeah. And my kids love the program.

[00:07:45] But I, as a mother, could see that they were being overlooked. I can see that I would walk down a hallway and the principals wouldn't even speak to me. You know, I had I walked down a hallway to go check on my kids. And I see the principal talking to my son without my permission by himself about an allegation from the week prior when a girl said that he had pushed her. Wow. And I'm sorry.

[00:08:14] Are you having a conversation with my child without me? Like, what's the problem? Well, a child said that he pushed her. OK, well, who was that child? And when did this happen? Oh, it happened last week. Well, why are you just now telling me? You have my phone number. Have we talked to the teachers? Well, no, I haven't talked to the teachers yet. OK, so let's go in and talk to the teachers. Teachers have no recollection. There's three teachers in the classroom. Nobody recognized it. I said, well, who did she exactly say? Did she say his name? Did she say his race?

[00:08:43] And he was like, well, she just said it was it was a black kid. And I was like, OK, well, he's the only black kid in this class. And my son is like distraught. He's like, I don't know why this big man is talking to me. I didn't push a kid. I'm confused. And so it was time. It was time to pull out. And I told him, I said, I'm not going to spend all my money for my child to come here and be racially profiled, disrespected. And you not honor me as a parent to have a conversation with me.

[00:09:12] Because if this was an emergency and this is something you were concerned about, you would have told me when it happened and not a week later. And so I pulled him out and I was like, but I know there was one other mom who I knew from when I was running after school programs when I was living in Omaha. She was there and I asked her about her experience and she had similar experiences. And so we were like, you know what, let's just get together with our kids and let's just do something.

[00:09:39] And, you know, we would just, let's do play dates, you know, let's just, and then we can kind of figure out maybe there's another program. Well, we looked around and there were a couple other programs, but it wasn't anything like what we wanted. The Black and Brown Homeschool Meetup community was all about fostering community. We didn't want to be a micro school where we teach and all that. We just want to foster community for families. We wanted to provide resources.

[00:10:04] We wanted to provide a sounding board for moms and just socialization and community for our kids. And so we prayed about it and we was like, you know what, let's just do it. And a year later, we are super excited. We have over 12 families and it's growing and we do field trips. We try to do a field trip once a month. We do play dates twice a month.

[00:10:29] Every week, all week, every Thursday, we do co-learning days where we bring our kids into a college environment where they are able to go to a college and do their homeschooling. We say, moms, bring your lunch and your lessons. And we're going to be in this huge community room and we're going to just homeschool. And our kids are going to learn how to use their social skills, how to respect people's learning time, how to be good peers and learn quietly, just like they would be in a college classroom.

[00:10:57] And so it's been fantastic. We have literally seen the growth in a year and we're super excited to see what grows from that in the future. Damn, that is amazing. First off, just I applaud you for just the way you protected your child and said, okay, we're getting you in a safe space. And if I have to start that space, then so be it.

[00:11:24] And then I love how like you started this and then with one other family and now you guys have grown to 12 families. That's really amazing growth in one year. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's mind boggling, you know, to see that you don't realize how many people are homeschooling who are black and brown and they just don't have the community. And they're like, I had no idea. And my co-founder, she was like, hey, let's just, we've been doing this for a year.

[00:11:53] Let's just see if somebody will do a story on us. And I'm like, okay, sure. And like, we are in the process of like onboarding and bringing more families in just from that, you know, news story. And it's, it's really, really fantastic. This summer we are going to do a lesson plan, meet up with moms just to kind of help them. New moms are homeschooling, moms who are experienced to say, hey, let's sit down and talk about what we're doing for our lessons.

[00:12:20] And, and, you know, glean off of each other and get some feedback and, and really support each other. And that's just what it's about. It's just like having community. We don't have to do this alone. I love that. And I love that you made it about community and not so much. We have to have classes. We have to do things a certain way, the way we've always seen them done in other homeschool co-ops, but you're making your own definition for what a co-op is for you. I love the coworking spaces between moms and just all of this is fabulous.

[00:12:47] The meeting at a college campus, giving your kids that environment. That's exciting. And it's, it's one of a kind. So congratulations on that. And I hope it just continues to grow and that you reach many, many more families. You're also an author. You have books. I believe you have, how many books do you have out right now? So I have nine picture books out and then an array of coloring books and activity books. I have over 30 books.

[00:13:18] Oh my goodness. Okay. So tell us a little bit about, I think you have a newer book that inspired you to write this book. Tell us about it. So my newest book is the Grand Adventures of Jade and Grace, a girl's guide to navigating periods and friendships. And so this is the second book in the Grand Adventures of Jade and Grace series that I wrote with my twin sister.

[00:13:44] And she and I, we have always loved the babysitter's club and goosebumps books when we were growing up. And she's a therapist by trade. And so I, you know, I'm always like dragging her in to do something. And I'm like, hey, it's time. And she's like, time for what? I think we should write a book together. And she's like, girl, what are you talking about? And I already had her like dabbling, doing some therapy books and things like that, but never like children's books.

[00:14:14] And so I was like, you remember the babysitter club books that we did? And she was like, that we used to love to read. And she's like, yeah, I was like, I want to do that. I want to create that series for black and brown girls all over the world to fall in love with reading like we did when we were their age. And so that's how the series came about. And so our series focuses on middle school girls. And, you know, middle school is tough.

[00:14:40] OK, and there's so much evolving and discovery of being a girl. And you find that out and your body changes and your mind changes. Everything just just evolves in that time frame. And so we just wanted to just tackle some of those things. We talk about identity. We talk about peer pressure, bullying, body positivity. And now we're talking about puberty and hygiene.

[00:15:07] And so this is a special book for us because we were thinking about what books do we want to write for this series? We were like, what is one of the things that we had that we were not fond of growing up in middle school? And it was the period and getting our period and what that was like. And it was so funny because we were thinking about, OK, you got your period. You got your period first. So my sister's like, yes, I got my period first. And it was just like, here's a pad.

[00:15:37] Make sure you stay clean and smell your stuff before somebody else smell you. And that was it. That was going to bless my mama heart. And so then like maybe six, four to six months later, I got mine. And like I'm panicking and my mom sent my sister into the bathroom with me. And that was just it, you know. And it was so it was kind of traumatic. And I had this conversation with my mom this past weekend because she went on an author tour with me with this book.

[00:16:06] And she basically told me she was like, I gave you what I got. Like it wasn't I didn't have enough. So I'm glad that you're writing this book. You and your sister writing this book because I didn't have a lot to get. And I'm so thankful that we had human growth and development because we literally had learned about it probably like four to five months before my sister got hers. And that's what she was like. That was her saving grace. But they don't do that anymore. Human growth and development class isn't touching that. And so this was a book that we had to write. And we wanted it to be a positive journey.

[00:16:34] Jade, our little chocolate girl in the book, she gets her period. And her mom passed away in a car accident. So her dad is a single dad. But her auntie, which is her mom's twin sister, is like her pseudo mom. They live in the same apartment complex. And Auntie Rach is going to get her together and really support her on this journey.

[00:16:55] And so we just wanted to make the period talk a positive experience and welcome girls into womanhood in the right way by segueing this book to be a conversation starter for moms, aunties, grandmas, after school programs, and all those who deal with young girls who are experiencing this journey into womanhood. I love that. This is going to really blend seamlessly into everyday rhythms for mamas who don't really know the words to say or how to talk about the period.

[00:17:25] And just having this book will be like that to that conversation to make it. Absolutely. Thank you for writing it. And thank you for just bringing your sister on board and just doing this work. So it's so needed. You also have a publishing company, right? A lot of us publishing. So what made you start a publishing company? Because you have a lot of things going on.

[00:17:55] I have a lot going on. So my first book was the Brush Your Teeth, Brush Your Teeth, Brandon's Song for Healthy Teeth. And I did traditional publishing that way. And I published that book in 21, 2020. Well, 2020. So it was at the top of 2020. But I had been working with a publisher for probably a year and a half before that book finally came out. And I had a very, very traumatic experience with that process.

[00:18:25] And once it was pushed back for over a year, and I just didn't know what was going on. Like I was getting all these excuses. And then COVID hit. And then COVID became an excuse. It was supposed to be out in February 2020. And then it didn't come out. And then it finally came out in November. And it just was, it was a little traumatic for me because it was my first book. I had saved up all my money from teaching with VIP kids to publish this book.

[00:18:55] And I had no book. And I was promising and promising and promising people that this book was coming out and nothing that came. And so it finally came out. And it just was such a negative experience for me. And I was in contract with them for two additional years where they were getting royalties. And I was like, you know what? I don't want to do this again. And so I learned how to publish my own books. I got a business coach who has been amazing. I've known her for almost five years. And she showed me the ropes to be an independent publisher.

[00:19:25] And I said that, you know what? This was such a negative experience for me. I don't want people to go through what I went through. So I am going to create a publishing and branding agency that's going to help people to have control of their rights, control of their stories, and be able to publish with confidence and be fruitful in it, whether that's in building their authority, having passive income, or just inspiring people through their stories. And so that's where it was birthed.

[00:19:52] And it has been an amazing experience ever since. That's amazing, DM. I love that. That you're always taking an experience that wasn't so good and making something beautiful out of it, turning it into something that would be like just something to invest in your family. And I mean, that's a beautiful life lesson for all of us. Absolutely.

[00:20:19] I feel like there's no bad experiences. I feel like there are always lessons to be learned. And I am thankful. I'm thankful for that three-year of challenges that I've had with that publishing company because it literally changed the trajectory of what I'm doing. I never said I was going to run a publishing and branding agency, but here I am. And I'm finding joy in it. And so I'm thankful for that setback. You also teach, right?

[00:20:49] You teach branding and marketing. So what is that like? Teaching branding and marketing at, is it through a local college? Yeah. So we have a local community college here and they teach, they have these non-continued education courses where people from all over the community can learn things to help them be better in their businesses and just their overall just learning and equipping them with the tools that they need to excel in whatever realm of their life they want to be in.

[00:21:19] And so I had the opportunity to teach branding classes, which has been phenomenal, branding and marketing classes with the college. I've taught some publishing classes for authors. I've also, I'm teaching a class on Canva author series where authors are able to learn how to use Canva to help them to build their brand. And I'm also even just teaching businesses how to grow on social media and how to make social media

[00:21:48] a tool for them. And so I love it. I told you, I used to teach. And so I get to dabble into the classroom just a little bit, author visits and teaching at the college. Give them, give me that little itch. I get some time about going back into the classroom. And it's so fun because these are adults. And, you know, I always want to make sure that I am helping people to grow and to evolve into whatever area they can.

[00:22:14] And branding and marketing is so important because I tell people all the time, anybody can write a book, but it takes, and that's a hobby. But if you want to turn your book into a profitable business that really impacts, then you have to have the right branding and marketing. And so I love that I get to teach classes about that. I love that. I also have a passion for branding and marketing. So hearing your passion is just like, it's really connected with me. We're in alignment right now. We can probably talk about branding and marketing for an hour. But I love that because it's so important.

[00:22:43] Like that's how you take your hobby to the next level. When you want it to become a business, you have to focus on that marketing piece and of course the branding. But I love that. Okay. You have, you know, I have a lot to ask you, but I just wanted to see how what God has taught you during this season of your life as you've been writing and publishing and homeschooling, leading, teaching all the things you're doing. What is God teaching you?

[00:23:13] You know, this is one that I've been reflecting on for quite a bit these last couple of years, especially because I told you how I did BSF, Bible Study Fellowship, and I've recently transitioned into a leadership role with them. And I can kind of ask that question as well. And I think the thing that God is always putting in my heart and reminding me is that all the things I do have to glorify him.

[00:23:43] And if it's not glorifying him, then I don't need to be doing it. And so my yeses are my yeses and my noes are my noes. And it's hard for some people to accept that, but I sleep well at night knowing that I said no to an opportunity that doesn't glorify God and is not assigned to the purpose that he has over my life. And so because I am able to say no to those things, he opens up amazing doors that I have not even fathomed that would even happen for me.

[00:24:12] And so my obedience to him, which is my will that he has for me, is most important. You know, I can do all these amazing things, but my first ministry is being a wife and being a mother. And so those always take priority. I have an offer. I can teach, you know, at the colleges. I can do authorizations at the schools. I can do events and vending events and things like that.

[00:24:40] But it takes secondary to what's on my family's calendar. You know, making sure I'm supporting my husband when he has to preach. Making sure, you know, I run the children's church program, you know, at my church. And making sure that my kids, you know, have what they need when it comes to homeschooling them and then being a part of sports and all the extracurricular activities. Those things take priority. And that's my first ministry, you know, is being a wife and being a mother. And then everything else is secondary.

[00:25:08] And because I treat it that way, God takes small, smaller opportunities for me that allow me to be, have a greater impact. You know, I don't need to do 500 things for my business as my author business or my branding, my agency business. I can do just a few great things that take up and provide me a lot of exposure, a lot of income.

[00:25:33] And that's what is the reward, because I know that my priority and my ministry to my family and my husband is what's important. And so I glorify him. And I say yes to the things that are important to my walk and my purpose and what he's called me to. And then everything else just falls into place. Priorities. Priorities. I love that, that you're a woman of your word, you're a woman of priorities.

[00:25:59] You know where you're supposed to be in alignment with what God has for you to do. And you keep your family first. And I think that is the order of things. And it's what makes everything fall into place. And so I just appreciate your example and the light that you shine. Do you have any upcoming projects? Or I know you do workshops. I know that you visit schools, right? Yes. Maybe some books that you have coming up that you want to share with us.

[00:26:29] There's always something going on. I have a comic book coming out that I wrote with my two boys. This will be the first book for my youngest. He's been asked, I want to write a book. I want to write a book. Because my oldest has three other books that we've written. So this is really fun to write this book with them. But I'm also going to pull my husband in. And we're writing a couple books. We're going to write about my son's heart story. And we're going to write a book about prayer.

[00:26:58] A father teaching sons how to pray. And then me and my sister with our new book, we have a virtual pajama period party that we're doing. And that's going to be so fun. We're bringing a professional in just to talk about applications. When you're on your period, how to take care of your body. We're talking about the book and debunking myths and just having a really good time. So I'm super excited about the party at the end of the month.

[00:27:25] And then I'm working on my nonfiction book, which is a book on branding for authors that's coming out later this year as well. So super, super busy and exciting. I can't wait to see what else is not on my radar that God has on my radar. God has surprises. And they're always what we're not expecting, but always good because he's a good God. And so I know he has a lot of opportunities waiting for you.

[00:27:52] I know that there are moms listening right now that are wanting to be authors, wanting to get published. So you have Water Rocks Publishing. That's your agency, right? Yes. So how can they connect with you if this is something burning on their heart? They really want to do this. How can they connect with you and learn how to start publishing their books and also just to order your books for their kids? Yeah, absolutely.

[00:28:15] So you can go to waterrockspublishing.com and you will be able to connect with me to do a free discovery call. And we could talk about what that process looks like if you want to work with me and my agency or if you want to just do it yourself. And I offer coaching for those who are really good and tech savvy and just want to kind of do it themselves, but they need some help along the way. I do coaching to help with that.

[00:28:42] And then we have our done for you service where we just do the whole process for you. So head over to waterrockspublishing.com and book your free discovery call and then we can figure out what works best for you. And then I also have all my books on all the platforms that you love to purchase your books, whether that's Amazon, Barnes & Noble. But you can also purchase my books on my website, which comes with extra little goodies that I love to pack when people purchase books for me. And that's at dmwhittaker.com.

[00:29:12] Okay. Okay. So we'll get both of these websites on the show notes. And we, you know, we had just some wonderful time today. I really appreciate you being transparent, sharing your story, telling us the good, the bad, the everything in between and how you got where you are today. Because every good story comes with kind of a backdrop of what really happened, what really motivated someone to do the work they're doing today. There's always a message behind how we get where we are.

[00:29:41] And it doesn't always start, you know, awesome and beautiful, but sometimes it starts in our pain. And so thank you for sharing that with us. And we're just, I'm honored to be a part of your journey and to see what God is going to do for you and your family. So thank you so much. Thank you. This has been a joy. I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to share. You're so welcome.