CHM167: Homeschooling in Rhythm: Embracing Purpose Over Perfection with Dani Ward

[00:00:12] Welcome to the Christian Homeschool Moms Podcast. I'm Demetria, a veteran homeschool mom of two with one daughter off and on her own and the other preparing for college life and beyond. After years of homeschooling, I've transitioned into life as an afterschool tutor and now run a podcast agency and I work in digital marketing. This show is now dedicated to all parents, whether homeschooling, navigating traditional school or embracing a hybrid model who want to be intentional advocates for their children's academic and personal growth.

[00:00:40] So I'm here to offer encouragement, insight and practical strategies to help you make informed choices and create the educational path that fits your family the best. So for more encouragement and resources, as well as homeschool support, you can visit me at ChristianHomeschoolMoms.com. Now today on the Christian Homeschool Moms Podcast, I'm so excited to welcome Dani Ward. She's a wife, a mom and a passionate encourager of faith filled family life. Currently in her homeschooling era, Dani has embraced the calling of homemaking,

[00:01:10] after leaving a full-time career, after leaving a full-time career, and she now focuses on helping parents to nurture their children's faith at home. She creates thoughtful resources like family Bible studies designed to spark meaningful, Christ-centered conversations, and she shares her journey and encouragement over on Instagram at Raising Homemakers. So in our conversation today, Dani reminds us that teaching our kids about faith isn't just another item on the checklist. It's a way of life.

[00:01:40] What's her mom's often feel to just do enough? And why pursuing rhythm over balance might be the grace-filled approach that we all need. Dani also shares how she stepped out of her comfort zone for growth, both in motherhood and faith, and offers a peek into a beautiful free resource that she created just for moms. You're

[00:02:10] And we're going to have with us a wonderful guest, Dani Ward. And she is a wife, a mom and a passionate encourager of faith filled family life. And so we're going to talk more about that with Dani today. Dani, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being here today. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here. Well, starting off, can you just share a bit about you and what kinds of things you love to do? Share about your family and your hobbies and things like that.

[00:02:38] Sure. Yeah. So I've been home with my kids full time when they were one and three, and they're now five and seven. So we didn't start my seven year old until she was like around five, you know, just enjoying being home with them and just kind of learning through just the things that they're in contact with more just play and stuff like that.

[00:02:57] But I wasn't in any hurry. Because at the time, I didn't know we were going to homeschool. Like when I was home with them. It wasn't until later that God put that on my heart. So we were just surviving toddlerhood, babyhood.

[00:03:09] I understand. But we were really outdoorsy. We love to camp and hike and homeschool has kind of allowed us to be more involved into our hobbies. So we mountain bike in the summer and we snow ski in the winter. Yeah, we're very active. Not your average, not your average family.

[00:03:35] Right. Well, that's really cool. Like I love I love to hear when I ask all the homeschool families that come on the show. I'm like, what, what makes you unique? What makes your family tick and makes you different?

[00:03:47] And everybody has something so entirely different to share. And it's just amazing to see like how different we all are. And how just your unique passions and what you love, you pass that down to your children as you're raising your kids. And I just think that's what makes homeschooling and family life so beautiful. It's just we're all unique. Yeah, absolutely. That's always the advice I give when someone asks me for the first time, like, what do I do? I don't know, like, we're thinking about homeschooling. And I'm always like, make it yours.

[00:04:16] Exactly. Doesn't need to be a reflection of anybody else's like, just make what works for you. Exactly. I love that. So Danny, so you emphasize about teaching kids faith, that it's not just this extra task on your to do list. And so I want to talk more about that.

[00:04:35] Because I know, like in our in my previous shows, I've talked about, like not having these little boxes that we need to check off every day, and that it's more of a holistic view of family life. And so on that note, mealtime and bedtimes, these are great times for conversations. And there's some other ways that I'm sure you have to share with us that moms can make the most of all the moments we have in talking about our faith with our kids. So can you share with us more about how we can do that?

[00:05:02] Yeah, so I think mealtime is a great way to introduce, you know, with little kids, like saying grace, and then reading your Bible at night or reading a Bible story at night, like those are all really great things. But as far as like the to do list, I think sometimes we can unintentionally create this system as homeschoolers, like we have our routines, and we have like, you know, got to get our Bible study in, and we got to do, you know, this, that, and the other.

[00:05:30] And I think sometimes unintentionally, it becomes this to do list instead of seeing, like you said, the organic moments of, like someone's having a rough day, and let's pray for it right now, versus like, Oh, nope, the only time we pray is at bedtime or at dinner, you know, right, exactly.

[00:05:49] Having more of a fluid rhythm with our faith and just showing our kids what it looks like to walk in step with the Lord. And I think don't get me wrong, like bedtime is a really great way to read the Bible. But I think it can unintentionally become this religious thing that we do and not a relational thing that we do.

[00:06:07] That's so true. That's so true. We can tend to slip into that whole like legalistic perspective of we have to get this done by eight o'clock, or we have to, we have to pack in this devotional at 930pm every night as tucking in my kid, this is the devotional I have to use. And once we're done with all these devotionals, we've got to get the next set of devotionals to complete the process.

[00:06:31] And so we can really start to put some massive amount of pressure on ourselves to check those boxes. And what you're saying is that it's not necessary to do all of that. Yeah, it's not necessary or not to beat yourself up. Yeah. Like, Oh, we didn't check that box today. It was like, Okay, but why is it a box to begin with? Exactly. Right? Why is it a box to begin with? And that is what causes us moms to feel like, am I doing enough? And so I want to ask you about that. Because when it comes to raising our kids,

[00:06:59] sometimes we do feel that we are just not getting it all done. And in my latest episode, the last one I talked about tutoring and how sometimes we can look into outsourcing to get the extra support we need, we don't have to do it all. So when we think we're not doing enough, what what are your suggestions as a mom, who's raising your own kids right now and, and having probably the very same things that we're, we're feeling?

[00:07:27] What are your suggestions for not doing enough? For me, what I really needed was a mindset shift of growth over perfection. Oh, I, I just, I think sometimes we, our skin and our flesh and our like, automatic response to things is like to nail it and to do good and to be perfect. And I think we just need to remind ourselves, like, we're never going to be perfect.

[00:07:51] Perfect. Like, that is an attainable goal to begin with. Why are we put why are we doing that to ourselves? You know, like, why are we setting the bar? I think there's two things we set the bar really high. And then the second thing is that we compare our season to others. Ooh, that's a good one. Yeah. Compared to other people.

[00:08:10] I'm totally, I totally fall into that trap. You know, like, it's a slippery slope. It's easy. You know, our aim is to get a little bit better each day, but we're climbing up a mountain and sometimes we slip and just know that tomorrow is a new day.

[00:08:23] And yeah, well, I love what you just said tomorrow's a new day so that there's grace. And what that's what I'm hearing is, we can start over you wake up, you you start over, it's a brand new slate, a brand new day, God has granted us a brand new sky and new weather and new everything. And just to imagine that our slate is wiped clean, and we can start over. It's like so relieving and there's grace in that.

[00:08:49] So we don't have to compound ourselves with that, like the doubt of not doing enough for math, not doing enough for English or whatever we're trying to teach our kids, or even with Bible time.

[00:09:01] So there's some things about comfort and growth that I want to want you to get into now as we're kind of going into that discussion, because you I'm sure has you've had some opportunities to have to get through some discomforts, whether it's through homeschooling or parenting or just your faith journey. So how can moms embrace growth, like true growth in our lives? And I know that that's uncomfortable sometimes, but how do we embrace that?

[00:09:29] Yeah, it's definitely uncomfortable. And it's, it's always, I feel like it always hits you when you're least expecting it, like things are going great, and then all of a sudden, storm. But I think, if we can just remember all the stories that we can reflect on in the Bible of just how people have overcome and unfortunately refining the process of refining, refining is through pressure and discomfort. And I just think of like, the posture that Jesus has in the storm, like he's sleeping.

[00:10:00] Like what? The last thing of any of our radar or how any of our responses would be in it's just like, you mean to tell me what you're doing what you're sleeping? Right. And that is a posture that I you want of for me and for my circumstances and the things that are going to show up. Like, it's just, wow, just a bright wow, like, I just can't believe the plans he has for us.

[00:10:25] And we don't have to, I know it's uncomfortable, and no one wants to be uncomfortable. But I think just knowing that that's how typically things work in order for it to get better. I just think of like a lot of the analogies and just different parables of like, the gardening parable of how much discomfort this seed has to go through to break open out of its shell, grow roots, get grounded, then it sprouts up above the soil. Like it took all of that. It took all of that. Yeah.

[00:10:56] Yeah. Do you have any like personal stories you want to tell about discomfort and how you've been able to break through the soil and get through those discomfort moments? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So homeschooling. Yeah. That's prime example. Right. I back when I was 17 years old, I started working for my parents family business. It's been in my dad had been doing it since I was like a toddler. He started this.

[00:11:24] So once I was 17, I started working for them. Fast forward, you know, married, having babies. I live next door to them. So lots of comfortable things, you know, like a job that I probably won't get fired from. So the comfort there, the comfort of living next door there. My mom was watching my kids when I was working full time for them. So it was all comfortable until it wasn't.

[00:11:49] I just had this eye opening moment of no offense, mom, but you're getting the best parts of my kids. And I'm getting the worst. I'm getting the morning handoff, dinner time and bedtime, and then the weekends. So it was like, what am I doing? Is this really comfortable? Is this really what my life's going to look like? Like I'm getting like, no offense, but those are all the worst parts.

[00:12:15] Can be all the worst parts of when you're, when that's the only part I was getting. Yes. So I just had, the Lord just put it, placed it on our heart that we had to completely turn our lives upside down and move out of state and be somewhere where I was able to be home, where we could afford the cost of living a little bit more. We were living in California and then moved to Idaho. So it's just a completely different world for families.

[00:12:40] And it was, it was the scariest decision and the scariest season I had. I think that was probably the biggest leap of faith I had ever been. Because I left everything I knew, all of my friends, my entire family. Left it all behind. Left it all behind because I just knew I had to follow this calling. And it was so uncomfortable. You know what, Dani? I'm so glad you shared that. Our stories are interestingly very similar.

[00:13:07] So I'll share a little bit of my discomfort as you're talking about moving away from family and having that be your comfort. I have the same story as far as I live next door to my parents for years. And my mother took care of my kids while I worked full time. And then God called us to move to California. And I left everything behind. I left everything and I knew nobody in California, but we came here in 2011 and we established our family here.

[00:13:36] And we've been here ever since. And it's been a whole like 12 year or 12, I don't know how many, I can't count. But that many amount of years of discomfort of having to like break through the soil of really just establishing our family, breaking the soil and doing everything all over again. And it's like you said, there was a comfort there for years, having family next door and having that support system. But doing what God has called us to do is not comfortable, but he's with us.

[00:14:05] And like you said, he gives us what we need for these moments. And then from that, I was thinking of balance, because once we're out of our comfort zone and we're being reestablished, God always moves us into this idea of how to find some sense of balance. I'm not saying that balance is like possible all the time, but just a sense of rhythm. And you talk about rhythm over balance. So I want you to share more about what that means and what's the difference with rhythm and balance.

[00:14:34] You can share more about that. Yeah. So for us and my realization of the two balance and rhythm, when I think of the word balance and I really unpack what it means, I think it requires stillness. You're holding something, you're staying still, you're not moving, but life isn't still. And you can't be a hundred percent of more than one thing. And I don't think being a hundred percent mom, a hundred percent wife and a hundred percent

[00:15:02] business owner, a hundred percent author, you know, fill in the blank, right? Yeah. Coach for your kid's soccer team, or, you know, like you're going to give a percentage somewhere. And for me, being able to just switch to calling it rhythm made a huge impact because we're always moving. We're always growing, learning. Our seasons are shifting. Our priorities are changing. Our kids, like if I balanced and did the same thing for my one-year-old who is now five,

[00:15:33] that doesn't make it, you know, that doesn't make any sense. But with rhythm, it allows, I kind of think of like the differences in seasons. Like we have four seasons for a reason. There's a time to do, there's a time to run and there's a time to walk. There's a time to be still and there's a time to move, you know, like winter is your rest and your summer is your activity. And I just, I don't know.

[00:15:57] It just seems more biblical to have rhythm than it does to stand still into this balance thing that's not working. I wonder if God, when he created the seasons, if that is the epitome of balance, like you have the spring, summer, winter, fall. So those four and they balance each other out, but you have to be in a season. You got to be willing to move. Right. You have to be in one season at a time and be willing to transition to the next season when that happens.

[00:16:26] And it's like what you said, like we can't get stuck in the one season from five years ago. Like your kid is no longer one. So why would you still be trying to be in that season when that's over? So it's time to move to the next. And I love that thinking about, you know, rhythm from that perspective, you know, being that I have kids that are now grown up and it's just like, I can't believe I'm out. I'm in this space now where they're, they're like, they're done with homeschooling.

[00:16:55] And I'm just like, what happened? We were just there like a few years ago, like what has happened? And now I have to readjust my whole entire mentality. Just the way I think about parenting. It can't be the same when I'm parenting a young adult now and a teenager than it was when I had toddlers and young kids. So I love this whole thing you're talking about with rhythm over balance. It's so good. So it just gives room for grace. Yeah.

[00:17:24] I think balance does. Balance is your like checklist of like, if you do anything, if anything's off, you fall over and with, with rhythm, I think there's, you know, in some moments you're, you're dancing well, you know, you're moving to your beat and then all of a sudden the beat changes and that doesn't work with balance. I never thought about it like that. That's good. Thank you for like, just giving me a lot of stickers.

[00:17:53] I'd be a really, if bumper stickers were still a thing, I think I would be like a Hallmark writer or a bumper sticker. Right. I would love that. And I would, I would have that bumper sticker on my car. That's good. Um, so, okay. So you've created some resources for families. So I want you to share about, I think you have a coloring book, right? I do. Okay. A free, a free downloaded coloring book. Um, it's about the fruit of the spirit and, um, my kids just love to color and they

[00:18:20] were kind of not the mom that has like the keepsake box of everything they've ever drawn. So I wanted to tie the two in of like, okay, what, how can we learn scripture in a way that you guys love to draw and color, but like, how could we tie those two worlds together? So I created this coloring book. That's all different Bible verses for families to memorize. Um, and then it kind of just makes this pretty one of a kind thing to hang up on the fridge

[00:18:49] or, um, having the kids bathroom for a week or two, you know, depending on how long you take or want to spend on a specific verse. But it was just kind of a fun way to marry the two for the kids to have their quiet space. And I don't have oodles and oodles of random drawings. I love that. So it's a coloring book. And then is it something that maybe moms can sit down with their kids and work together

[00:19:14] and color with them or, um, just share a little bit more about your coloring book, like fruit of the spirit, right? Yeah. Fruit of the spirit. So there's a verse for each nine of the fruit. Um, it's digital. So you can print as many copies as you want to download, you know, print as many times as you need. And there's, um, a little minute, like little illustrations on each page. So like to keep you busy, but not enough to where, like I kept it very minimal.

[00:19:42] So it wasn't a, so it doesn't feel like a, yeah, right. It feels fun. It feels refreshing. Something that you want to do. The words it's mostly like really big words. The space that's taken up is mostly the words. And then just a little cute graphic on the side that kind of like ties in with the verses as well. Super cool. Okay. So how can we get ahold of your coloring book? Yeah. So if you just go to my Instagram, it's at raising homemakers and then at the link in

[00:20:12] bio, you click that and it's the top thing. You just enter your, enter your email and then the PDF is sent to you right away. Perfect. That's really easy. Thank you. We're going to have all that in the show notes and, um, yeah, we're going to check out your Instagram and see how we can get access to that coloring book for our kids. And I just, I appreciate our time together. Do you have any just maybe words of advice or encouragement for homeschool moms before we say goodbye?

[00:20:42] Um, I would just encourage anyone listening to find that quiet space and stillness within yourself and just talk to yourself. You know, like if you're having, if you're comparing yourself, talk to yourself. We are our worst critics are the voices in our head and how we speak to ourself is usually way worse than what someone else would speak to ourselves. So just a reminder of that mindset shift and to just aim for growth.

[00:21:10] And every day is a new day and a new chance to get better and perfection is not the goal and either is balance. I love that. I love that. Thank you so, so much for just being here today and just like encouraging us. Um, I love everything that you've shared with us. It's, it really is encouraging just to know that we can be in harmony. We don't have to be in this perfect balance, but we can have that rhythm. And so thank you for just sharing that with us and helping us to see that.

[00:21:40] Yeah. Thanks for having me. It was a fun conversation. It was. Thanks. I hope you enjoyed the interview with me and Danny. And remember that building your child's faith doesn't have to be one more thing on your never ending to do checklist. It could be as simple as a mealtime chat or a bedtime prayer or a quiet moment of connection. You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to do everything perfectly, but what matters the most is being present and intentional.

[00:22:05] If today's conversation with Danny encouraged you take one small step this week to invite more faith filled rhythm into your home life, whether it's trying out her free coloring book resource, or just rethinking your daily routine, know that every little moment matters. And I'd love to hear what resonated with you the most. So come share your thoughts over at Christian homeschool moms.com, or you can drop a link on my latest YouTube episode.

[00:22:33] I'm also going to ask you to hop over to Instagram and follow me there at Christian homeschool moms. This way we can keep the conversation going. I'm wishing you grace, joy, and peace in your parenting and your homeschool journey. And until next time, my friends happy homeschooling.