CHM166: Does Your Child Need a Tutor? 7 Signs to Watch For

[00:00:13] Hey friends, and welcome back to the Christian Homeschool Moms Podcast. I'm your host Demetria, and I'm so excited to be here with you today. I hope you're having a wonderful start to this year or midway through the year. And I want to thank you for tuning in and spending a little bit of time with me. And if you missed the last episode, I encourage you to go back and give it a listen, because I shared some important updates about this year's podcast content. I'll still be bringing you

[00:00:39] encouragement for your homeschool journey, but I'm also expanding the conversation to include more ways that we as parents can support our children's education, whether that's homeschooling, after school learning, or supplementing what they're already getting in traditional school settings. So if you haven't caught that episode yet, be sure to check it out. So with that said, let's just go ahead and dive into today's topic, because I know it's something that so many of us

[00:01:04] wrestle with, and it's how do we know when our child might benefit from tutoring? So here are a couple of signs. Now, as homeschooling moms, we often carry the full weight of our children's education on our shoulders. We try to provide everything that they need, making sure that they have a rich and well-rounded education. That has been my experience, at least with raising my own daughters, who I homeschooled through high school for my eldest and up till 10th grade or my youngest.

[00:01:33] And just in reality, giving myself a reality check, sometimes that extra layer of support could have made all the difference for me. And so I totally recommend that for everyone listening today that you know when it's time to consider tutoring when you feel that you need that support. So I'm going to give you a couple of key signs to watch for. The first sign is that your child may continually struggle with this subject. Even after you've tried different teaching methods or switched up the

[00:02:02] curriculum, you've tried everything you know to do, and your child is still struggling with that subject, that's when it might be time to bring in a tutor. So if math, for example, has been a battle for months, and we know math is one of those subjects that either your kid loves it or they hate it, and you've already tried these hands-on activities, you've tried games, you've tried a lot of different curricula, but your child is still not grasping those key concepts. A tutor with specialized math

[00:02:30] expertise may be able to explain things in a fresh way that finally makes it click. So for homeschool moms, I want you to know that you don't have to be an expert in every subject, and it's okay to bring in someone who has more expertise in certain areas where you feel less confident, whether that's math, whether it's getting a reading coach, or bringing someone in to help out with science experiments. And for school parents, if your child is struggling with the way that a certain teacher presents

[00:02:58] information, tutoring can provide a different approach and really help to bridge that gap. The second sign for you that you might want to look into tutoring for your kid is that they have an increased frustration or anxiety about learning. So this is when you see your child is dreading their schoolwork, they shut down, they start crying, they get frustrated whenever they're faced with a particular subject. And as a homeschool mom, I've experienced that. I've seen it happen with my own kids,

[00:03:27] and I knew that there was something definitely going on with particular subjects at that time in their life. And so I knew that I had to bring in a little bit of extra reinforcement. So if reading time or math time, even just the mention of it turns into a daily meltdown, or your child gets anxious at just the mere mention of multiplication tables, it might be time to ask for outside help. Sometimes a fresh face and a new teaching approach can relieve some of the tension and rebuild their confidence.

[00:03:55] So again, homeschool mamas, your child may feel pressured, and they may feel emotionally overwhelmed when they're learning from you because they love you, right? And even though they love you, they could still feel that way because you are their mama and you have high expectations for them. And you are emotional just like they are emotional. And so just having mom be the one that teaches every subject sometimes puts a little extra pressure on your student. In those cases, sometimes a tutor can really help

[00:04:25] taking the emotional weight off of your shoulders. So I would say consider all of your options, whether that tutor is an in-person tutor or virtual or online, however you choose to get that extra help for your kid, it can really be helpful. I know that when my eldest daughter was in high school, there was no way that I could be her sole math teacher because I was not going past algebra two to help her out with

[00:04:50] anything. And I needed for her to have that extra leg of support for her geometry and pre-cal and anything beyond that, because that was not my subject of expertise. And I would be burned out and frustrated trying to teach her something that I don't know. And she would feel that energy for me and get frustrated. So in addition to the curriculum that we chose, which we knew would be a very hands-off type of curriculum

[00:05:15] for the homeschool mom, something that would allow her to be independent in her learning where she could just watch virtually the extra help she needed or go on Khan Academy or whatever she needed to do. We chose that path for mathematics. And then we eventually ended up enrolling her in virtual classes. There was one called live online math, and we used that for a couple of years. Actually, it was very

[00:05:40] helpful for us. We have used Saxon, we have used Matthew C. We've done a lot of different things. But at the end of the day, we began using a live online math, and it was extremely helpful in having that personalized small group work and one-on-one attention with her teacher, should she not understand something. And there are also plenty of other opportunities for that one-on-one support. Now we have things like out school, and we have online tutoring galore, especially since 2020.

[00:06:10] Like everybody's on Zoom now, and there's so many more virtual tutors that are accessible as a result of what we went through during the pandemic era. So it's quite easy nowadays to find a tutor to help your student, whereas maybe it was a little bit less of a thing prior to 2020. So that said, you know, there are definitely ways to get your student the help that they need. The third tip for you is to

[00:06:37] watch for that drop in confidence. So have you ever noticed your child saying things like, I'm just not good at this, or I'll never get it, or I hate this subject, right? So when you start seeing that, then especially if your child was once really curious and an avid learner, and now they're avoiding school altogether, or they constantly put themselves down, a tutor can be really helpful. Now you do have to be very careful the type of tutor, the type of person that you bring into

[00:07:07] your student's life and into your family life. Make sure that they're a tutor that is a good fit for your child. But a one that can provide that encouragement and reinforcement they need to rebuild their confidence can be very helpful to you. So having someone outside of the family tell them, hey, you're actually really good at this. Look how well you're doing. Look how quickly you're catching on to this, or let's see how you've improved. And that's one of the things that I implement when I do tutor students is that I help them to see like how much progress they've made from

[00:07:36] week to week. And I show them, hey, look, look what you did last week. And look how much faster you are this week. And we will do some games and we'll time how quickly it takes them to calculate their, their multiplication tables, for example. And then we'll see that those small increments of improvement from week to week and give them rewards to incentivize them for the next time and show them how they are improving. And that helps them to improve their confidence. And usually they tend to

[00:08:03] look forward to coming back to tutoring when they know that they are making improvements and they are doing well. The fourth thing is that you can find yourself feeling overwhelmed as a mom, as a homeschool mom. So even just supporting your child's education is a full-time job. And obviously it's not for the faint of heart. And so you've, you've taken a huge bite out of this pie of education and you've chosen one of the hardest, I truly believe one of the hardest routes to take when it comes to educating

[00:08:33] your student. And some people would argue with that and say, it's harder to have them in a school system. And if those schools are not good fits for your kid, yes, I agree. That could be hard. But when you look at all the work that the teachers are doing and the administration is supposed to be doing and what's going on in schools today. And then you take all of that and just kind of like as a homeschool parent, cut through the clutter of what is involved in being a school and just be a teacher and just

[00:09:01] work with your one or two or three or however many kids you have, students at home. Even just the art of teaching a subject is big. It's huge. It's overwhelming. Just lack of a better or adjectives to use. Just teaching without all of the other red tape is a huge undertaking. So I understand completely that yes, you have taken on a full-time job. And if you're feeling stretched thin or exhausted

[00:09:28] or even unable to give your child the focused help that they need, that's a sign that it may be time to bring in some help. And there's absolutely no shame in that. So for homeschool mamas, and I'm going to give tips for school parents as well, because like I said on my last episode, I want to diversify this podcast so that if you have a student that is in school and maybe you're homeschooling hybridly and doing a little bit of homeschool and a little bit of having your kid in a typical school setting,

[00:09:55] then I want to make sure that I'm covering both bases. And so for homeschool mamas, outsourcing certain subjects doesn't make you less of a homeschool mom. I just want you to know that. It makes you a smart mama. It makes you a mom who understands the needs of your kid and you care about that child so much that you're willing to get them whatever help they need. Take away your ego, take away anything that says that you need to be doing all things and be all things to all people and just look at what

[00:10:23] does your child need. And that's where you can step back sometimes and say, hey, you know, maybe this subject is not for me. And for school parents, if your child needs more support than you have time or expertise to give, tutoring can provide that extra reinforcement while keeping you from feeling overwhelmed. So your kid is done with school for the day, you bring them home, you're going to have them do homework, but then you may not have the energy or the expertise to help them with that subject for

[00:10:51] homework. So having someone that can step in and do a little support once a week, or even once every other week can be really beneficial to your child. My fifth tip for you in knowing that your kid probably needs some help is the difficulty keeping up with grade level expectations. And that is a huge one. I know that in the homeschool movement, we often say we don't look at grades, we don't look at grade levels, and we combine grade levels. I know that when I was homeschooling my youngest, I combined our

[00:11:20] fourth and fifth grade math, and we just kind of like took care of it all in one fell swoop in one school year, just because we could do that. And sometimes we were a little bit behind on certain other areas. One of the beautiful things about homeschooling is the ability to work at your child's pace. But if your child is falling significantly behind in a core subject, that's where tutoring can help fill in learning gaps before they become bigger struggles. And that's especially a huge thing for mathematics. And of course,

[00:11:49] reading, we need to make sure that they are getting those basic foundations for reading and math. So tutoring, again, is a great way to help gently bring your child up to speed in areas where you're struggling without disrupting your overall homeschool rhythm. So you can still do what you do with your homeschooling, but just bring in that extra resource to kind of enforce a little bit more of what they what your child needs in math. So if it's extra multiplication practice, maybe you're not the one that's going to

[00:12:18] do all the games and the extra stuff. Maybe you bring someone else in that does that for you. And again, tutoring doesn't have to look like someone coming to your house every week. And it doesn't have to look like you driving out to a Kumon Center or a Sylvan Learning Center every week. It could look that way. But it could also just look like you are finding something online for them to do that's a little extra maybe on out school. And I talk about out school a bit because I have been a teacher on

[00:12:45] out school for a few years. And I just find it to be an incredible resource for parents who just need that extra support. There are plenty of teachers and both certified and homeschool teachers, all sorts of teachers and tutors that are available for helping your student in every subject area, including those fun extracurricular things such as music and dance that's all available on out school. So if you're looking for tutoring, you could start there. And there's some very budget friendly opportunities

[00:13:14] for you to find the help that your child needs. And as a school parent, if your child's teacher has mentioned concerns about falling behind, tutoring can definitely help them catch up before it impacts their confidence. So that is just one of the bigger things to look for. And I have two more tips for you. And then we're going to wrap up our time for today. But I just really hope that this is helping you to see the importance of what tutoring can do for your kid. And I know it's helpful because I'm in it

[00:13:42] right now helping other students and I'm seeing the benefit for them. And I've received that kind of support from my kids when they were homeschooled. My sixth tip for you is if your child is gifted and they need a little bit more of a challenge, because tutoring isn't just for kids who struggle. Some kids are advanced to certain areas and they need more of a challenge to stay engaged. For example, if your child is just breezing through math, but feeling unchallenged in science,

[00:14:07] a tutor can introduce some advanced concepts that stimulate their curiosity and keep them engaged. So you want to see how your child could be provided those enrichment opportunities that go beyond that standard curriculum, right? And it can get maybe a little bit stale and boring for your kid if they just want to move faster. So keep your gifted learner excited about learning. And my last tip for you is

[00:14:32] that you have tried all these different approaches with little success. And again, if you've switched curriculums a few times, you've used some hands-on learning or even taken breaks to reset, and you're doing all of this, but nothing seems to work for your student. If progress still isn't happening, then that experienced tutor can help provide a fresh perspective and some new strategies. And sometimes an outside voice can explain things just in a way that clicks differently,

[00:15:01] that just doesn't work when it's just you and your student one-on-one or maybe in other situations where it's just not working out. If you find a great fit, someone who can speak your child's language in a way that connects differently, then by all means, let that be the situation that helps support your family and let the tutor do what they do to help your student. And that's really what it's all about, getting your child the help that he or she needs to be the best they can be,

[00:15:29] to explore what they need to in their unique world of childhood where they're learning. But what they're learning is more than just academics, but they're learning about self-confidence. They're learning how they learn. They're beginning to understand how they learn best. And they're starting to see that maybe they don't learn the way other kids learn, but they learn in a different way. And that you as their mom are giving them the resources that they need to help them learn in their unique ways. And that is a statement that will last a lifetime for your student.

[00:15:58] When they know that mom cares enough for me to get me all the help I need, even if I don't feel like doing this work and I don't want to see the tutor and I don't really want to put any energy into this. But 20 years down the road, your kids are going to look back and feel like the memories they have of mom helping them is paramount. And it's, they're going to remember, mom really got me a lot of help. She got me like two or three different tutors and she got me all the games and all the resources and

[00:16:26] took me here and took me there so that I could get help. And so of course your child may not appreciate that now, but later on down the road, when they're a young adult, they're going to remember that. And it's going to prove to them literally that you did what you could to help them. And so that's just one, you know, way I think about things is looking into the future of how we can

[00:16:52] plant seeds today to show later on what our repa harvest later on. And then the other thing is just one last thing about this is that don't pressure yourself to get tutoring for your kid and don't pressure your kid to get tutoring if it just doesn't work for your family. And I want to put that to rest on this episode that I'm not saying everybody needs to go out and get a tutor. And I'm not saying yes, do this because it's the only way to make sure that your students are where they need

[00:17:20] to be academically. But what I'm saying is if you feel that tutoring could be beneficial to your kid, by all means, please go for it and do what's best for your family. Because the thing is, as parents, we can't give up. We just can never give up when our kid needs support, they need help. As a mom, your heart is for your kid, and you don't want anything to get in the way of their success.

[00:17:46] So you will do anything it takes to make sure they're getting the proper resources. And so don't give up and just keep doing what you can to support your child. If that means that the best way to support your child is give them some time off from a subject, then take your hands off of the topic for a little bit for that subject for a little bit. And don't worry about doing math. Don't worry about

[00:18:11] catching them up with math if they're already six months behind or grade level behind. Don't put so much pressure and stress on your kid to catch up, quote unquote, because that is an additional pressure that could make your student feel really low in confidence, right? And so if they're feeling like the tutoring is too much, and it's too overwhelming and aggravating to them, then maybe that maybe this is not the time for tutoring. But as a parent, you know when they should have the tutoring or not.

[00:18:40] And so I just say it all with like, you know, holding it very loosely and depending on your circumstances and your students and your family and what needs to be done. But you know your students better than anybody, you know, your child better than anyone. So if tutoring is the best thing, it's going to work out okay. And if it's just a big fight, then sometimes it's better to take a break for a little while and try other avenues to help your student. So just a full recap, you know,

[00:19:07] tutoring isn't just for struggling students. It's a valuable tool for learners at every level. It can help the homeschool student by bringing in that expertise in subjects like advanced math or science or even foreign language. I didn't talk about that or music or anything else that you don't feel confident teaching. You can bring that type of tutoring to your student. For public and private school students, class sizes can make it really tough for teachers to give individualized attention.

[00:19:33] So a tutor can help reinforce what's being taught in the classroom and provide homework support. And that's kind of where my position is right now in the landscape of education. For students with learning differences, if your child has dyslexia, ADHD, or other learning challenges, a tutor who specializes in these areas can offer tailored strategies that work for their unique learning style. And for test prep and skill building, I know that's something that my youngest daughter now,

[00:20:00] she's in 11th grade, and she's working on test prep for her SATs. So whether it's preparing for like a standardized test, improving study skills, or just maybe refining their writing abilities, tutoring can really help to set your child up for long-term success. So my final encouragement to you, mama, if you're seeing some of these signs in your child, I want you to hear this loud and clear. Seeking tutoring is not a sign of failure. It's actually a sign that you are an amazing,

[00:20:30] proactive parent who is committed to helping your child succeed. And education is not about perfection. It's about progress. And sometimes progress means bringing in the right support at the right time. If tutoring is something you're considering, start by identifying your child's specific needs and looking for a tutor who aligns with your family's values and learning style, whether it's online or through your local co-op or even a trusted homeschool friend, the right support can make a world of

[00:20:59] difference. I hope this episode has been helpful to you and you can catch me over on Instagram. I have recently been posting a few encouragement reels there. So you can follow me along at Christian Homeschool Moms. And don't forget to check out the show notes and the blog over at Christian Homeschool Moms dot com for more resources. So my next episode, I have an exciting interview lined up, I hope. So stay tuned for that. And I can't wait to connect with you all again soon for more advice

[00:21:28] and encouragement. And until next time, happy homeschooling.