CHM 155: From Homeschool to Private School: My Teen Daughter's Experience (+ interview with her)

Hi, and welcome to the Christian homeschool Mom's Podcast. I'm Demitria, your host, a veteran homeschool mom of two wonderful daughters, one in college and one in high school, a wife, a songwriter, a podcaster, and a child of the King, and I'm very happy to be your host. Welcome to episode one fifty five, And on today we're going to be talking about our choice as my family has decided to support our daughter from homeschool to private school, and we're going to clarify that just a little bit so that I share with you guys, our journey and what it means for us, and answer some questions that you might be having as you're thinking about the different transitions you might need to make in parenting your teens. So our last episode was raising our teens with mindfulness, and part of that process is also listening to their needs and being able to transition when we need to. And so even a few episodes further back, I also talked about homeschooling middle school and high school, which can feel very very different from teaching the younger years. And I think the reason I've been chatting so much about the middle and high school years is because this has been my experience for the past seven years with homeschooling either a middle schooler, a high schooler, or both at the same time, and prior to this seven year span of my life, I really enjoyed all those many years of homeschooling elementary age kids, which was a blast. It's always fun to walk into stores like Barnes and Nople and find those beautiful decay eyewitness books or those games and the learning kits that our children so innocently enjoy with natural inquisitiveness and curiosity. But as our children get older, we find that their desires change and their needs change, and our needs is parent it's changed as well. So this leads me to segue into today's topic, which is, of course, our families experience transitioning from homeschool to a traditional school, which in our case happens to be a Christian private school. And to further clarify that it is a Christian private school that happens to have homeschool options, so that makes it a little bit even easier for our transition. I'm going to talk a little bit more specifically about our choice and how we did this, and then I'm going to offer you a clip of an interview on YouTube that I shared with my viewers last week, So if you want to see the entire interviewer, the whole video, I will leave a link to that end show notes as well, so that you can view that on my YouTube channel, which by the way, is now back to being completely All homeschool videos and business videos are now posted elsewhere, so if you want to go back to that channel, it is mom'sestm zest on YouTube, and I share all about homeschooling, parenting, education, raising kids for God, and that will be found on that channel specifically. But one of the things I want to talk about is why I decided to try a traditional school this year with my daughter. And I'm going to say that my husband and I plus my daughter felt that we were led into this opportunity. She had been wanting to try a traditional school for a long time, and we just never have been in a position to find the right fit for her, nor did we feel comfortable with a lot of the schools that were in our area or that we were zoned for. As far as public schools go, we were just completely against not so much the public school system, but against her attending any of the schools that we were zoned for, just because we weren't zoned for good schools, and so we wanted it better for our daughter. And we always have been the kind of family that exercises our choice and our rights to choose. It doesn't mean that we're always financially able to get exactly what we want, but if we can have a choice in the matter and figure out how to maneuver our finances around or even cut back on expenses, or do whatever we need to do to make it happen, then we're willing to make sacrifices or figure out a lifestyle approach that can help our daughters to have a better educational experience for that season of their life, because they're only young, and they're only in school for a short amount of time and then they're launched for life. And so for me, that is something that I'm ready to commit to. And so we wanted to try it. We wanted to try a private school, and we found a Christian private school locally. We liked it, We researched it, we went to open house, We asked a lot of questions to a lot of people who attended the school already and just kind of did our own little interviewing process just to vet the school to see if that's something that we wanted to invest our time and energy into. Because we knew that whatever school we chose, we did essentially we wanted to see her through to graduation at that school. Now, we don't know if that will be the case, taking it year by year hoping it works out. If it doesn't, then God will provide a ram and the bush and another opportunity for us. But this is just where we are right now. But so far, we like the school we're at. It's very much pro homeschool, so that's another reason why we wanted to try this particular school. We can switch out classes and it's really flexible, whereas we can take some on campus and take some at home. And they do offer a PSP, which is the system that the State of California uses for privately educated students. It is filing out an affidavit with the stay or using a PSP, which is a private school satellite program. So the school acts as a PSP for homeschool families as well, So we like that. And then also the other thing we liked is that it adds more structure to her day, and that's really helpful for students who are between fifteen and eighteen, They really need that structure and it doesn't have to look like everybody else's structure. So I'm very much all for flexibility in our schedules as a homeschool family, but I think that when there is a certain type of structure to note this is what you're doing from eight to twelve or from eight to three, it really just provides for a space of accountability where students can learn how to do what they need to within that framework of time. And so I think that's been really helpful for my daughter. It has added a lot of structure to her day. She knows when she has the time to do her homework and how to structure her hours so that she's getting the time in she needs for each of her lessons and managing what she needs to for all of her classes and her different teachers. I think that's really important. And I think one thing that really helped her with transitioning to an in person school is the fact that she attended an online school for two years and had these same sets of expectations in all of her classes virtually for the last two years, and so that was a nice milestone or stepping stone into going to school full time. So she attended what is in California called California Connections Academy, which is offered it's a free online school, virtual school program that is offered nationwide in all states. It's free public school education online. She did that for two years, and having experienced that and managing her course load for each of her teachers and being accountable to them, this really I think helped her to prepare for going to school. So I think these bridges in between homeschooling and having accountability to other teachers has been really helpful for my child. And so it's not the same for every family or every child, but it's been helpful for us. So it does add structure to her day, but it also adds structure to our day as parents. So her father and I have been really involved with, you know, getting her to school every day, picking her up from school every day, making sure she gets her homework, in communicating with her teachers, getting her to her field trips, making sure that she's prepared mentally for her tests and for PSATs, and making sure she's just physically available. Because we're responsible for getting her to school, but also making sure that she's mentally available for her workload and that she knows how to interact with her teachers and her peers at school and following the rules and dress code and all of the things that need to happen at her school environment, which is different than home, and so we like that structure for her, but also it keeps me and her father on track in a different way than we've ever had because she's just always been at home with us, and so it was very different having her with us versus having her in the care of another community or an institution, so to speak, every day. So it's just adding a different element of structure to both her day and our day. And also we like that it's something different. It is different than our traditional homeschooling, and we enjoy that we have the flexibility to have or be in school. But we also like the fact that we get to decide what classes she's taking there and what classes she's taking at home with mom and dad. So we still are ultimately in control of her education and are officially home educating parents in the state, and so that partnership with the school is what helps us to feel like we're not only part of a community, but we're getting the best of both worlds in both the private school Christian private school and homeschooling, so that I really like what's happening so far. And also it just gives me ammunition to continue to do the work that I'm called to do, as I seek out opportunities to continue fulfilling my purpose and doing the work that God has called me to do, and with career and jobs and whatever God is calling me to that I can still do those things while homeschooling my kids. So I do have a video about the sort of the combination of what it looks like to homeschool part time, which is what I consider what I'm doing right now is part time homeschooling and working as well, so building a business working part time working, or you can say working full time. It just kind of depends on how you view it. But as I'm building out my business and designing websites and coaching podcast clients like this is a very enjoyable part of my life, but it is my business building part. And how I'm able to combine all of this together as what I call a mompreneur solopreneur, part time business, part time homeschooling, and so I have a video about that which I will leave a link in the show notes so you can look at that video as well. I do want to talk about that a bit more on this podcast, as it is a very relevant topic. It is something that I think a lot of homeschool parents are just like, please with somebody address this because there are so many of us that are working and attempting to homeschool. So there is such thing as homeschooling on a part time basis. You don't have to be a stay at home mom, you don't have to be full time at home with your kids in order to homeschool your children. So there's different variations of home education and ways of looking at it. And we kind of all know this, We figured this out over the years, but it's just not been something that has been on the forefront or maybe even celebrated, because the idea is you want to be able to be financially free enough to be home with your kids and just kind of have that luxury life, but that is not available for everybody. You know, sometimes mama has to work, and sometimes she has to work full time and not necessarily part time, right, And so when that's the case, there's different ways you can homeschool. So maybe someone else is taking some of that load for you. Maybe the dad is teaching some of those subjects, maybe grandma's teaching something. Maybe there's a co op, maybe there's a neighborhood family, maybe there's a sitter. So there's different homeschool pods and learning groups that can contribute to your children's education. There's different ways of mixing and matching the educational experience for your kids. It doesn't have to be a straightforward traditional approach of mom is at home with her kids and dad is at work. That is a nice way to do homeschooling, but it's not the only way to do homeschooling. There are many ways to homeschool your kids, and so I just wanted to bring that out and share that on this show and just to show there's different ways to look at home education. And of course I'll leave a link to my video about my part time homeschooling experience. So I'm going to share a clip of our interview from my YouTube channel, and if you're ever inclined to go back and actually watch the whole thing. Then I'll leave that as well where you can see the entire interview. But when I come back, I'm going to talk a bit about what our transition was like and what was the hardest part for us, and then and I'll also share some advice that I want to offer for parents who are considering sending your homeschool child to school. So first, let's get into the video segment I'm going to share with you now, and then I'll come back and share my challenges and my advice for you. Okay, So we're going to talk about We're gonna talk about homeschool. We're gonna talk about private school and the experience with having both of those at the same time. Okay, So I want to ask you you have been homeschooled for ever. Yeah, so you started home schooling when you were four or maybe even before that, and you just started going to school full time and then priv and then part time this year. So you are now how old again six experience, so that's a long time. So how would you describe your experience as a homeschool or what was that like? Well, like, when I was homeschool like, it was easy just to like, you know, wake up and be able to like get my morning routine and then get to school. Yeah, and also like do school like different places at different times too, So like I could do like at the library or a coffee shop or something m h or like in the afternoon and just like yeah, you just like switch out my schedule. So that was nice. Yeah. So yeah, you could sleep in if you wanted to, You could go take your classes anywhere you wanted, and then you have one of two years that you did Connections Academy, which is completely virtual, but you still have that flexibility in your schedule. So then what was it like starting the school for the first time this year in tenth grade? So for like starting school, it was it was like fun at first, Like it's still fun, but like like the first week is always like oh, like all these new people and like it's just like a lot to get used to and a lot of teachers too. Yeah. So would you say the biggest difference between your homeschool experience and being in school full time every day is just the flexibility. Are there any other major differences or is that the main thing? I feel like for the second difference is maybe just like waking up as well, like getting used to a schedule, like you have to be a class at this type or like turn it by this type which I get homework is the same as well, but just the ways I like to do this this way that like it's very structured and yeah, so okay, So that that's interesting for those who are wondering what her transition was like. Was it hard for you? Was it somewhat difficult or was it completely easy. What was your transition like from homeschool to full time school. Well, I feel like it wasn't difficult at first. It was just it was like weird to get used to because I was just used to like one way and then it was just like a little different. But I feel like once I figured out like how their school system work and how like the teachers were like homework and everything like, it was just easier to transition and I just like do the same thing. So yeah, yeah, okay, okay, So just getting used to a the school that you're in and be the teachers you're a school environment makes a huge difference. Do you think that the school that you're in now helped you to transition easier than maybe some other schools or how do you feel about your school. I mean, I feel like the fact that they already have like a Hope school program was like it was kind of already bates like it'd be easier that way. Like a lot of the teachers it's like, oh, like you only take these classes down, but it's not like it's like they're already kind of used to that kind of face, so it was easier to just to transition. Yeah. Yeah. One thing we like about our school is that everything is provided. I mean, everything's there, right, so if you know SATs and acts and all the testing is there. Whereas when we were only in the homeschool communities, we had to find those places to take the tests. But this is all provided in her school. And we also love once again that it has that versatility for the homeschool community as well, so for those who want to homeschool and take classes. So I love it, and I also love that to Christian school, and so I'm just really enjoying that you're in this school. I really appreciate the educational experience you have there, your teachers, and just the environment, the safety, the love, the support, all of that. Plus I really love that they are so open to homeschooling as well for families who need to for whatever reasons to be able to manage their families homeschooling in addition to wanting that outlet for their students every day. So I really like that, and I like that you're making a lot of friends and you're having a lot of fun. So that means a lot to me. All right, I really hope you enjoyed that clip with me and Zoe, and again, she is really enjoying her time at her school. And so as far as transitions, what that was like for me and my husband. Zoe shared her transition with you guys on the video, and I think for her the hardest part was, I think she said, getting up early and what she got used to. Eventually, she actually has no problems with getting up in the morning to go to school. It's kind of integrated into her daily routine now, and her internal clock is wired to wake up at six thirty am every morning, so she's accustomed to her new life. It's not a problem. It's just part of life for us now. The hardest part for her dad and me was acclimating to the new structure in our day. So when you're accustomed to just floating around with a lot of freedom in your day. You know, just let's be real. I am a freelancing, eclectic, bohemian homeschool mama for over seventeen years. I'm used to doing things my own way, and that was difficult in the beginning to get accustomed to a rigid schedule. So that structure of school was a bit intimidating at first, and it was a transition for me, not so much that it was difficult for my daughter. It was just difficult for me. So it's the hardest part for us, but it wasn't too hard. You know. I do tend to thrive on structure, So even though I like to be free as a bird, structure is what glues the day together for me, especially with having older kids. So I've learned that I actually appreciate having the structure of getting up early and you know, having things done at a certain time every day. It's nice. It's nice knowing my lunch break, it's nice knowing when I have meetings, when I have work, what time you know, I'm done with work, what time I'm picking her up from school. It's actually been really good for me to experience that once again after not having really been a part in the workforce for a long time, like over almost a decade and a half of being a stay at home, work at home freelancing mom. And so this has been really good for me in that sense of providing that structure. I think the hardest part for her was probably just initially getting up early, but she was prepared academically, and I found that having a core group of friends that she was able to for somehow she was able to find a group of friends right away, partly thanks to a local church where a lot of the kids who go to the school also go to this church, and so that was kind of a nice introduction to the school. But after she started going, she just found her people, and she found her little core group, and that helped her a lot with their transition, because it's one of the things that kids are usually the most worried about is finding friends and not being the only one left out, the only one that doesn't have anyone to sit with that lunch or doesn't have people to talk to. So that is a definite concern, and we were praying that she would find some people right away, and she did, and we're just grateful for that, because it does make their experience way better when they feel that they're connected to people at the school. And so we encouraged her, you know, kind of like spread her wings and go far and wide to bring a variety of people into her world so that she can make those different connections and she's not just with one core group, but that she can like kind of flutter around to different groups. So we're kind of encouraging her to do that so that she will be able to expand her network, you know, And I think that's good for teenagers to learn how to have diversity within their friend groups and not just only sticks in one group all the time. So we're working on those kinds of things. Communication is such a vital part of any transition, though, So the advice that I would give to parents who are considering sending your homeschool child to school, I think one piece of advice I would say is to keep doing what you're doing right now, what you're currently doing, because your kids are more than prepared and ready to make any transition necessary when the time comes for them to make it. So just think about the fact that everything you're doing now is investing in who they are becoming and you're doing a great job of preparing them, So don't second guess yourself. You don't have to do anything extra. Really, you're just going to keep doing what you're doing and know that when the time comes that if there's a transition ahead, that they'll be able to handle it because they have mom and dad, they have people that are going to get them to that next level of where they need to be. And you can't predict where they're going and what they're going to experience, so there's nothing you can do to over prepare for what's ahead. But all you can do is keep doing what you're doing. What you're doing is that you know is the right thing for them today, So keep doing that. And some of the unexpected benefits that I discovered after Zoe started attending school was that Number One, she opened up more as she realized more about herself. So I'm listening to her talk more so as an introvert. I know that she as an introvert, and I'm also an introvert, so I understand our personality type, which we can talk a lot with our friends and people that were comfortable with, but sometimes we just don't feel like talking and in that case, we're very accustomed to just staying quiet and staying silent, and we don't feel the necessity to find our voice because we just don't really feel like talking anyway. So I feel that this experience of her going to school every day has kind of forced her to find her voice and to speak up more and to share what's on her heart, what's on her mind. And this has helped me, as she's been able to communicate with me her thoughts about her life, her plans, her future, her experiences at the school, and my being able to tap into her world means a lot to me as a mother. So I appreciate that our communication is changing and evolving, and it's for the good. I also feel that she feels that she was indeed at idemically prepared for school all these years. I think that she might have been feeling maybe she wasn't as prepared for school full time, even though I knew she was prepared and I knew she was okay, but sometimes just having that question in the back of your mind if you are a teenager who's like if you have a teenager who's very like on point with everything and wants to do their best and wants the challenge. She's that kind of kid, So she wanted to make sure that she was up to par and that she was competitive and all that. So once she got to school and she realized that she might be over prepared in some areas, she realized that brick and mortar school is not so scary after all. Like she's got this. I mean, she's had years of experience with not only the homeschooling, but the online schooling, which I think really helped her. And going into private school, like she just feels very confident that she's capable of doing the work. She's making the grades. It's working out for her really well academically, so that's helpful. And it was a lot of an easier transition than she thought it would be. So we're really grateful as a family that we have this experience, and I'm just taking it one year at a time. I do not know what's going to happen next year, or if we're going back to the same school, if we're gonna go back to full time homeschooling, or if she's going to do something different with like public charter school or private another private school. We don't know, So we just said that we're going to leave this all into God's hands, and I am happy to continue encouraging homeschool moms no matter where I am in the journey. But I just thought I would share this part of my personal journey with you so that you have an idea of what's going on in my life and maybe some of you might be able to kind of relate to being on this end of the spectrum. I'm just really excited to share my journey with you now. On my next episode, I'll be sharing with you information about homeschooling high school. I have a wonderful guest that I can't wait to bring on to share with you, And until then, I want you to hop on over to Mom's Est and see my YouTube videos. And that is all I have for you today. Thank you so much for listening, and until next time, happy homeschooling.