Dedicated to Satan as a child. God had other plans.
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So, I've been reading your book transform.
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And I'm not done yet, I will finish it but it's a hard read.
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Meaning that reading your childhood is even painful to
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read much less. If you have lived that at the
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same time, you probably didn't know a difference that was your
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childhood. Which is being raised in a house
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of practicing satanists. Basically and I have this first
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question for you. I'm not an expert.
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Don't care to be on Satanism, but I do know there's at least
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in modern day to kind of different kinds of satanists and
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I'm wondering what household, you grew up in, where people who
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actually believe in a the Christian or judeo Christian
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Satan. And they believe in a
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Supernatural being or there's kind of a 1960s Satanic Bible
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Anton LaVey size version which is actually a theistic because
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to believe in Satan. You believe in God and you
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believe in the Christian God and where it's more of a philosophy
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of Satanism is basically anti-christian anti-god
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Rebellion. Basically the do what thou wilt.
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The law kind of philosophy where Satan them is a
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self-glorification of yourself. You are God, everything you do
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against morality rules, Is Satanism.
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Am I right about that? And if I am, which one went it?
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I guess they kind of go together.
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But which environment did you grow up in?
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Well, it was more of the like, my dad thought that he was the
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the god and I think that, it leaned more towards the Anton
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LaVey scenario. Yeah, of course, it didn't.
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My life didn't start out that way, you know, way we that kind
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of progress. Rest into Satanism as the abuse
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and just the getting into Witchcraft.
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And those were just doors that opened us up to Satanism.
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And I don't really, I look back now as a Christian, and I don't
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really think that, that was the intention of my parents to get
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involved and Satanism. I think that the Witchcraft and
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just the basic dabbling in Witchcraft is what opened the
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doors and lead to, you know, there is power in this and that
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my dad seeked more power and then ultimately, you know, he
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went and got into Satanism because of that, he wanted to
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obtain more power and had a thirst for that.
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So I don't think that, you know, it started out that way, it was
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okay, you know, it was just a basic, you know, we were
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dabbling in witchcraft, My parents we never talked about
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Jesus, we never really even talked about Satan, we just
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talked about, you know, spirits and talking to the dead and
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Witchcraft and it was just the basic having seances and things
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that in the 60s and early 70s that people were just into at
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that time. And it was, it was the norm,
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right? Yeah.
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So it kind of kind of evolved Yes, kind of evolved.
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So what what's the difference then in your mind or in your
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household? That took it from, you know
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maybe dabbling in the occult to Witchcraft and then going over
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to what you would call Satanism? Where's it?
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Where's the line? Well, I was, I mean, it was kind
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of hard to to Define where that line was because it, like you
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said it evolved into it started. Add basic, and then got into my
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dad had gotten this obtained. This statue and I think that the
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statue was somehow connected to the occult and the statue was
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about three feet tall and it was it was a horse and it was a half
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man that top part was a man in that bottom part was a horse and
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he was holding on to a naked woman and this was a huge brass
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statue and it seemed like It when my dad got a hold of that
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statue, I don't recall where he got it from, but when he got
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ahold of that statue, it somehow he felt like it gave him power.
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He would carry that thing around with him wherever he went.
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He would it would sit by his bed when they slept at night and it
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was, it was the strangest thing and he changed.
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There were marks that appeared on the back of his neck that
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were unexplainable. And And when we would bring this
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up to him he would get very irate and angry and tell us
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never to talk about this and that we never saw it.
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And so I really as a child I really didn't know what was
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going on and still to this day, I don't know what initiation had
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he had to go through to bring him into all of this, but I know
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that he sought power and control.
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And that's the root of Witchcraft that's the root of
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the occult, right? And the abuse you endured were
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through ritualistic activities, right?
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Yeah. On his and yes.
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And you know without reliving or going into graphic detail.
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I mean, in general, what is that?
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It is control over over me. My dad was was exercising,
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control over me. And in order to do that, as a
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child, he had to get me addicted to the drugs first and then once
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I got addicted to the drugs, over a course of a year or two,
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then he would slowly move into the ritualistic and it would get
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to a point where he would come into my room at night and he
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would wake me up and there would be Be chanting and I would just
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go into a place of disassociation.
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My mind. Wasn't even in that room
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anymore. My mind was somewhere else when
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the activity was going on. So, I don't even to this day,
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it's blocked out to where I don't, I don't really remember
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recall the specifics because, you know, for my protection, I'm
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assuming and and it was just it was a time of pure Terror and
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Trauma. And the only way that me as a
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child could relate to that and is just to disassociate Be in
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another place in my mind, while this ritualistic abuse was going
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on. In the ritualistic abuse being
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sexual, being sexual. Yes, there is many.
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Yeah, yeah, there's many different types.
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You know, there's a blood rituals their sexual rituals.
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There's animal sacrifices human sacrifices, and yes, so mine.
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My family was more into the sexual ritualistic abuse,
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correct. So, when you say child, A child.
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Are you talking 8 years old? 10 years old, I was 10.
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Right. And to the chanting, I mean, is
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this just your father in a room? It started out my father.
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And then it has the chanting increased and the presence of
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evil increased in the room. It was it felt as though other
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entities were in there, but they weren't physically.
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I couldn't see them through with my natural eye, okay?
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And as you got older, I don't know teen years or wherever you
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want to take it. Were you looking for an escape
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or did it become part of your life?
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That you wanted to carry on or it was just all you knew and you
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carried on. Well, it was all that I knew as
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a teenager but I wanted I did want to escape from the control.
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I wanted to live my own life or the, but the only way that I
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knew to do that was to just leave right away.
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You know, it's But the Demonic forces and and the supernatural
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aspect of it, I could physically run away, but emotionally and
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psychologically I could, I couldn't, you know?
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So yeah, it was it was something that carried on through my adult
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life just because it was the only way of life that I knew
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paying for things through with sex, you know, the and the only
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thing that I ever obtained was through sexual activity.
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T. You know, if I want to drugs, if
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I needed a place to stay, just because that was the norm to me,
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I mean, that was what my dad had taught me.
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This is how you get things, and right.
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So that's is what I carried on through my life.
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Yes, yeah, that's how you learn survival for.
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You was like, prostitution, survival, or did it have a mix
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of ritualistic? It was it was basically
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survival. I was in survival mode.
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Yes. And so what would your beyond
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that? What would your adult life look
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like spiritually? Did you carry on sort of some of
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those practices or maybe just a little bit of the occult around
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with you? Or did you kind of move on with
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life but you just kind of felt emotionally and you had
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spiritual baggage in? It was just a way of life Life,
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or did you kind of continued in a religion, religious way of
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trying to fend off, maybe bad Spirit, or do things to keep
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good spirits with you or something?
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Well, before I before I came to know Jesus Christ as my savior,
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I had those demonic forces that were just kind of ingrained in
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me as a child and so unreal, even unknowingly I still had I
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still was practicing witchcraft, you know, through manipulation
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and control. Role of others, you know, hatred
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of others. And if I didn't like people, you
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know, it would, I would get very angry and then I would resort
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to, you know, Witchcraft and so, yes.
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I went ahead and I continued in that willingly, you know, to
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survive. And what would that look like
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someone's in your way? However, that is you resort to
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Witchcraft? Is that some kind of rituals you
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would do then kind of people? Yes, cursing people will even
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just word curses had power, you know?
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And it just seemed like because of the entities that I had grown
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up with in the palace. Spiritual power that I had in my
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family bloodline that that would fuel the forces.
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And so I really didn't even have to do incantations or anything.
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It was just the power of me thinking something and then
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things would happen. I was looking on a government
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website and it was talking about Satanism and abuse of children,
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and basically, it had a summary statement and then more details
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The summary statement was that the claims of Satanism today in
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the abuse of children is extremely rare exaggerated and
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it's causing law enforcement, it's impeding them to find
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actual criminals, do you think that's accurate, your life or
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your childhood? As you know, it was something
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super rare or do you think it's rare that we Hear about it.
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I think it's rare that we hear about it and I think because of
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fear people don't want to expose the enemy for who he is.
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And I'm also believe that the enemy has an intimidation
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tactics, and I think that if people were to expose him, he
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would lose his power. And so that, that's why I feel
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like that me coming forward and telling my story and and since I
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have done that for the 20 years that I've been telling my story,
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people have come out and that normally wouldn't, you know,
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just because someone has walked in their shoes and someone has
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experienced the same trauma that they experienced and then they
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come forth, and then they can talk to us about it, you know,
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my husband and I, we have a Ministry that ministers to
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people coming out of sexual ritualistic, sexual abuse, and
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We have several people that just come out of the woodwork and you
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know, their first responses, you know, I have not heard of anyone
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who has been through the same trauma that I have or anyone
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that has come forward to talk about it.
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And so that's, I believe that it's, it's not, it wasn't, it's
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not rare, it's not really it's happening.
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And it's it's being hidden. And I think as long as it stays
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hidden that it's more dangerous. Right?
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I want to get to in just a moment.
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Well your what your books, titled your transformation?
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But what concerns me the most Sandy is myself included and so
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many people think. Well I've never seen you didn't
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choose to be involved in Satanism.
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You were raised in it but I would never choose something
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like this. It seems so extreme.
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I don't really have to worry about it.
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Maybe it's just interesting to hear other people's stories.
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Or whatever. But what most people don't
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understand is what we're talking about is people who Worship in
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entity, Satan are pretty rare, but the anti LaVey ISM or
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whatever they call it kind of what we're talking about the
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philosophy as I'm a God and I'm going to obtain power anyway.
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I can and live how I want at anti-authority anti-christian is
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prevalent in society. And people are living a satanic
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philosophy. Thinking they're far from
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Satanism and you can see if you agree with me or disagree with
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me but I I don't I do not advise anybody going to the Church of
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Satan a website but here I am, I'm not going to read all of
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them but there's nine main State statements of what they believe
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this is like their Doctrine. And it's basically anything
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that's scriptural or a god law, or a Jesus law, is just the
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opposite, it's just that simple, right?
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So, Satan represents. He's not a real being.
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It's a symbol Satan represents Indulgence instead of abstinence
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so no sexual morality, right? Satan represents Vengeance
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instead of turning the other cheek.
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Well that's the opposite of Jesus teaching, I'm not going to
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read them all, but let's go to, like, mmm Satan represents all
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of the so-called sins. So, they all lead to physical
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mental or emotional gratification.
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So, basically, there you have is Satanism represents anything
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that's in. They, even call it sin, which is
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really interesting, because sin comes from scripture, meaning
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that it's Unholy or falls out of Gods.
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Best right. For, you know, that it's
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something against God's law or God's morality, as long as
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you're doing something against God's morality, you're living
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the philosophy of Satanism. At least the version of it that
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came out of the 60s, it's not some obscure or where there's
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like an image and a house, buy a bed in doing rituals.
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And an incest and things. It doesn't have to be that
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extreme. It can be just I'm going to live
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against God's rules and you're practicing Satanism, which is
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pretty much the culture of the day.
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It's the, let's do it or just do.
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What feels feels good. Yeah, that's Satanism.
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Yes. So what, what is your story from
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living that way? Only knowing that lifestyle, I
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know it's a big jump but that would lead you to cope a
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stirring with your husband, a church helping other people.
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How does that happen? Well, it happens from the inside
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out, you know? So I was desperate.
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I was on the verge of suicide. My life was out of control.
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I had lost custody of one child. I had another two year old
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little girl who who my dad and be a cult members and Satan
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wanted to control and take under their wing and Mentor up the
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same way that I was raised. And the only way that I knew to
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protect her was hopefully put her in a foster care or someone
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would adopt her and take care of her.
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And so, I basically did it out of desperation, the survival for
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my daughter, I could not take care of her, I couldn't get out
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of the lifestyle that I was in. My dad was a continual reminder
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of that. And so I, I was in A place where
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I was going to take my life and as I sat in my car, I had a
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razor blade and I was ready to slit my wrists and Eileen the
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seat of my car back. And both of my arms fell to the
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side. And in between my console in my
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seat, I picked up a new testament Gideon Bible.
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Now, that's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy because I got
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my car from a dark drug dealer years prior to that.
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I didn't know any Christians. I never saw this Bible.
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I did. I had never even held a Bible
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before. And so, I mean, I don't know
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where this Bible came from. That's my first question, when I
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get to heaven because this Bible changed my life and if ya can't
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keep it as a souvenir, I sure do.
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And I take it everywhere. I go and speak and this is the
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very Bible that I found and yeah, so it changed my life.
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I sat there the front seat of my car and turn to the back of
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bottom back of the Bible, where it had a sinner's prayer, and I
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said the sinner's prayer and ask Jesus to come into my heart and
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into my life. and he did, he did that very thing right there and
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he He it felt like a piece that I had never experienced in my
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life. That's all I had known was
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trauma and Terror and fear and this was totally the opposite.
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This was peace and love and joy and this was something I was
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unfamiliar with. And so I knew that something was
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happening. I couldn't explain it, but I
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knew on the inside that God was changing me.
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So as the Holy Spirit came and lived in me, I heard God or
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someone, I heard an audible voice.
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Tell me you go and you pick up your little girl.
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I will be your father. And I went from that point and I
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went and got my daughter and I just I said the recited that
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sinner's prayer all the way to pick her up.
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That was the only thing that brought me that piece that I had
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never felt. Yeah.
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And did you have addictions at that point?
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I looked at that point. Yes, I was.
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I was addicted to meth and cigarettes and and God had
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totally Set Me Free from that. I was I, my life was changed.
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It was a radical transformation, that begins a process, right?
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In your case, you were fortunate in that, it was a miracle that
00:21:02
these addictions were gone. Yes.
00:21:04
But what was your like next day? Like what did you have to do
00:21:07
with your life to? Forward.
00:21:10
Well, the enemy's forces were so.
00:21:16
So against me, well, even that night, as I laid my daughter
00:21:20
down in bed after receiving Jesus, they attacked her.
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They went into her room, were attacking her.
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There were literal bite marks on her arms.
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And there were, there was nothing in her room.
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And and so I knew that the enemy was angry and so I had reached
00:21:36
out to a, it was my first husband's father, who was a
00:21:41
pastor and so I reached out to him and I explained to him what
00:21:46
What was going on? And he kind of mentored me and
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led me into the next step of my salvation.
00:21:54
And he told me that, you know, that the spiritual darkness and
00:21:59
the war that was going on because I had no idea and he
00:22:04
helped me and my daughter to get back on our feet.
00:22:07
He paid for a plane ticket to fly to Texas at that time and
00:22:12
join his church. And so it was just a It was a
00:22:17
one day I was going to die. And the next day I had life and
00:22:25
and it just progressed from there.
00:22:26
It was divine intervention. Yeah.
00:22:31
And that's an important step you took is you can have the
00:22:36
relationship with God, the Deliverance, but you really need
00:22:39
to get under some mentorship, some discipleship.
00:22:42
So someone can nurture you along because you really what
00:22:45
scripture says you're just A spiritual baby at that point and
00:22:48
you need Elementary guidance really?
00:22:52
Yeah. So you're up on your own feet.
00:22:53
Yes. Yes.
00:22:56
And you are up on your own feet. You wrote this book with your
00:22:59
husband, you're pastoring with your husband.
00:23:01
What's the main message or your view on life now?
00:23:07
That you're trying to. What are you trying to do?
00:23:12
As far as your mission where you've been?
00:23:15
How do you, what? How's your worldview?
00:23:19
In reaching people or is it more Vangelis takkar you discipleship
00:23:24
or where's your heart at my heart?
00:23:27
Well my heart is family. My heart is is bloodline issues.
00:23:33
There was a lot of issues after I after I got saved I still had
00:23:37
a lot of baggage. I still had a lot of spiritual
00:23:41
inner healing and deliverance that needed to happen and I
00:23:44
didn't realize how much was really ingrained in me until my
00:23:49
My husband when I married him, he was, he was familiar with
00:23:55
their sexual risk to ritualistic abuse, and he was familiar with
00:23:59
deliverance. And so he had to take me through
00:24:01
layers and layers of taking all of that, baggage off and all of
00:24:06
that, spiritual darkness and all of those bondages that had kept
00:24:11
me bound to Satan, and I didn't really realize that the, the
00:24:18
generational dynamic. Think of everything that was
00:24:21
going on. I mean, this this may have
00:24:24
started with my grandmother but there's no telling how far back
00:24:27
it went. I know for a fact that I am the
00:24:30
first one in my bloodline that has accepted Jesus Christ.
00:24:35
And so, therefore the attack from Satan, is that much more
00:24:38
powerful because I have literally sold I have given
00:24:46
everything to Jesus and have shut every door to the enemy.
00:24:52
That he cannot have access to my children.
00:24:56
My grandchildren, might my descendants forever.
00:25:01
And so, this is, this is a major deal because I have canceled
00:25:07
every legal ground that the enemy has ever had to my
00:25:10
bloodline and he cannot have my descendants.
00:25:15
And so I have been fighting the fight for my kids. and my
00:25:20
grandkids and so that's where my heart is is that if if we can
00:25:27
just break the chains of bondage of addiction and sexual
00:25:32
perversions and a Satanism Witchcraft and everything, that
00:25:36
the enemy has sown all through the generations from from my
00:25:40
ancestors all the way to now I would die.
00:25:48
I don't want my kids to have to fight this battle.
00:25:53
So I am willing to fight the battle and so that is my heart.
00:25:57
I'm a fighter. I'm a Survivor and upright each
00:26:01
and every day and keep pounding away at the enemy because he
00:26:04
will not have my descendants and that's where my heart is.