Ide, whose family stems from Thailand and was raised Buddhist, shares his incredible story of dark forces plaguing his life, causing fear and hopelessness. He lived the teachings of The Buddha and sought his Buddhist temple to no avail. In desperation and with nowhere else to turn, he opened the door to pursue God elsewhere, if there was one. Ide had a divine encounter.
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Your family comes from Thailand where it's almost everybody's
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Buddhist. We have nothing like that here
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where everybody has something, what is it like to live in a
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pure culture of something? What is the expectation?
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And what is that belief system? Yeah, kind of like you've
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already touched upon, you know, my parents are from Thailand, I
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was born here in the States, but you know, from an early age, you
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know, I was, I was made aware that to be tight.
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Hi is essentially to be Buddhist and like you alluded to about
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95, 95 percent of ties are identify as Buddhist, and what
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Buddhism teaches is essentially. That there is suffering in the
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world, so they acknowledge that there is suffering in the world
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and what the Buddha taught was essentially a philosophy of how
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to, how to navigate this life, with the minimum amount of
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suffering. And the goal is to, you know,
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once you're once you're reborn reincarnated, you'll be in a
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better place in the next life. And the ultimate goal is not
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heaven, it's essentially not to be reborn, so it's essentially
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going into nothingness. So that you don't have to
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experience the suffering in the world anymore, you never be
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Nirvana. Exactly exactly Nirvana.
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And so, you know, if you look at the monks, they don't have
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clothes, they just way the Rope, they shave their head.
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And essentially, that's to reduce the attachment you have
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in this life because the philosophy essentially is, if
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you don't have any attachments, then when those things are taken
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away from you, then you won't suffer as much, right.
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Like Like right. So not even like the a wife, you
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know, the most won't have wise, you're not going to be attached
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to material things because you know, that will come and go and
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then there's it's like limiting what you're attached to so that
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you reduce suffering. So it's more of a philosophy of
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life and over religion in that, there isn't a God right.
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Correct. Yeah, so the Buddha never
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teaches or focuses on the spirit Or God right.
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Now, what you see the interesting is as I learned, the
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interesting thing is, that, at least in Thailand, and I was
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just spected many Buddhist countries.
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There's a deep awareness of the spiritual realm, right, right.
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So in Thailand, you're going to see a lot of spirit houses at
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people's homes, or in restaurants, even in America,
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visit a Thai restaurant, most likely they'll have a shrine or
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something. It's because there's a deep
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awareness of the spiritual world world.
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And the traditional Buddhism, which doesn't talk about the
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spirit realm. It mixed in with the local, I
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would say animism or the belief that their Spirits everywhere
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like in the, in the rocks and the trees.
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And that was there before Buddhism arrived, right?
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Animism yes. So whatever wins.
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Yes sir. No, no, I'm sorry.
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So budem is Buddhism can be adapted for the local culture
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and it seems like that is so Buddhism the way I've heard it
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put is, it becomes like a veneer where it gets put onto or mixed
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in with other? Things.
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So, in Thailand, you'll see the Buddhism mixed in with animism
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where they'll offer incense to shrines or or food for the
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spirits, just so that they would appease them.
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Meaning like if I give you these offerings, don't bother me.
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You'll see it. Mix it with Hinduism and other
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things like that. So, you know, in a lot of ways
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like, yeah, it's just, it gets mixed in with other things even
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Western quote Buddhism. Not that I'm an expert, but it
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doesn't seem like anyone's trying to reach nirvana.
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It seems like more just an educated group that wants to
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stress relief and basically, right?
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Meditate and clear the mind and maybe at a deeper level at the
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most, maybe Channel your inner self or Channel.
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Some kind of energy is out there and find a guidance, but they
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don't really know what and that's exactly the Western
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right, right? That's kind, Of the quote, the
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Buddha is cool. Trendy right?
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Right. Yeah.
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I know. I can see that.
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Hmm, so if you know a lot of other cultures it's but they're
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open about spirituality whether good or bad westerns kind of
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keep it behind closed doors, unless it's dark.
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That seems to be okay to be out in the open, kind of like,
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called, or repairing, all kind of things.
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But when you're in a culture, that's 95% of some kind of
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thought. Actually, you know, if you can
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answer, this is, it's just a thought I'm having right now is
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so my confusion with Buddhism is if you reach a state of Nirvana
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and in its nothingness, Is, is it nothingness and that you've
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reached a state of clearness in yourself where you no longer
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suffer, or you no longer have to be reborn or exist at all.
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So, the only way not to suffer is to not live.
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I think, from, from my understand, that's what it is.
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Where you don't, you just turn it.
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It's just nothingness, where you don't have to be reborn, you
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just cease to exist. And that is suppressing the
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yeah. So, that's yes, I find out.
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What would have a stroke, what I struggled with is It was, I
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couldn't find true hope in that and I there is no hope and that,
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right. It's almost like a survival
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mentality and that's the way I discovered it to be.
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And that's it. We didn't fulfill my need
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personally. It seems like it seems like a
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hopeless thing. So what happened with you you
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grew up in the States but you were you in like some kind of
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you lived around, family and friends that came from Thailand,
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you're in a community, right? I mean, You know, with, with our
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community it's a community generally is very is pretty
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small here in the states, so we would congregate at the Buddhist
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temple, you know? So when we were growing up, I
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would, I would attend on Sundays.
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We would learn Thai, but we'd also learn Buddhism and summer
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school. We had there.
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So I essentially grew up at the temple in that in that context
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to be with Community is our Thai food.
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Really, Thai food here, haha. There are some good spots, I
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just recently went to Tyler and I believe a lot of it has to do
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with the ingredients. So you know I think I think
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there are some really good places here in the states.
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Okay. It won't compare but it's good,
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it's still good. So you were really like college
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age or something and began questioning or what was your
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struggle Yeah, I mean my struggle started way before
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College age so I have a younger brother, he's two years younger
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than me and I would say I was in my maybe I was 12, he was ten
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two years younger and we start experiencing Supernatural things
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in the house. So voices, hearing voices doors
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closing by themselves to the point where my brother and I
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would, we would have to comfort one another because our parents
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at that age, they think you've had That candy or you watch too
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many scary movies. So we would comfort each other.
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It would make us. It would make itself sound like
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it was someone in the family so it could be like my Mom calling
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my voice, but my mom wasn't even home.
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You know, you could be my brother calling me and then you
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know I'd run to him and he had no clue what I was talking
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about. It's just things like that
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happening in the house. Yeah.
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Yeah, so we were scared. You were scared after a while
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and for me that pushed me closer to Buddhism because that's my
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natural. You know, I grew up in that
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environment. So I was like, I need to find
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answers so I had to have deeper into Buddhism meditation.
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The chanting talking to the monks at the temple.
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What are you doing? Touching on the Buddhism?
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Buddhist has these have these chance in in Bali as another
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language, not even tie, but it's just essentially, Just kind of
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confirming your belief in the teachings of the Buddha and
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you're just canceling and a lot of times many people don't even
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know what it is. You're actually chanting.
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It's just a chance that were taught at the temple again and
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at the temple. How strict is it?
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As far as learning the teachings of the Buddha?
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I was something. Everyone has been do or is no, I
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I say it's it's it was included in kind of are Upbringing.
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But, you know, depending on the person how much you wanted to
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take away from it, you know, there's nominal Buddha's there's
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there's people who went through the motions but they don't
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really, you know, they don't really practice it.
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So different variations in Thai culture, you become a monk, you
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know, it's why I became a monk, you're supposed to become a
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monk, I became a monk told you, she had shaved my head wardrobe.
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You have a picture, I do have a picture somewhere, I gotta find
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it, but I was, you know, just for a month each time.
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But yeah, essentially, it wasn't until undergrad in my college
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Years where I actually heard the gospel for the first time and so
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it started off more as kind of friendly debates.
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You know, this is what Christianity teaches and I would
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talk about what Buddhism teaches and why Buddhism is better and
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things like that. And I had one friend though.
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Who, who I vividly? Remember sharing the gospel with
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me, but it was in a way that was not aggressive or combative.
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I knew that she cared about me and I know from just the way she
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sharing the gospel with me, I knew that she truly believed
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what she was saying. And that she thought that I was
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important for me to hear. So I let her actually let her
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share the gospel, and I actually listened and I thanked her, and
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then I shared, then I went on to share, isn't with her as I did
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not believe, but I remember that it was shared to me and and I
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got a better picture of who Jesus Was and what he did for
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me. You know, I didn't believe but
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that's kind of how I first heard the gospel.
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At the same time, my college Years I really began struggling
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with depression and began. It's hard to describe, but it
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was almost like, hearing an internal voice of waste.
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That would tell me if I don't do X.
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You know, whether it be if I don't say something specific, or
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if I don't yell and down the hallway, then something bad is
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going to happen to someone. I love like my parents and my
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brother and I was like, okay, where's this coming from?
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And it's probably not real, but because I love my parents so
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much, I'm I would sometimes give in and just do kind of what
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Voices, prompted me to do and it's sometimes cause me so much
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anxiety that it would make me late for things.
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And so, I actually went to the school counselor and they
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couldn't help me. So, they sent me somewhere
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outside of the campus and they had diagnosed me with depression
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and OCD, because it took so much of my time, and it was almost,
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like I was arguing with myself in my mind.
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They said they diagnosed OCD depression and that lasted Until
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my mid-20s and I was going from therapist.
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The therapist psychologist to psychologist psychiatrist and
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psychiatrist at the most, I had 12 pills a day that I had to
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take to kind of alleviate these symptoms.
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So it was really like a crippling thing for me.
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I really struggle with it. But the last therapist I saw and
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it was around the age of 25, it was actually a Christian, a
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Christian therapist. And I remember at the first
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interview, she tell she asked me what she tells me that this is a
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Christian Clinic. And I said, I don't care.
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It doesn't matter to me you know I just need help and she would
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offer to pray for me after every session and and she did and she
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was the last therapist I ever saw meaning like the symptoms.
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Got a manageable I got off the pills and I was like, okay, well
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she must be a really good counselor or whatever it is is
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working. So I thought, you know, it's
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manageable now, the supernatural experiences though, they never
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really stopped, they would, they would wait.
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In and kind of frequency sometimes more often than
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others. But it was always still there in
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the background but I guess I kind of got more numb to it and
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less scared. I just kind of living with it
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and fast forward to when I'm 30. Now I'm going back to school for
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my masters and as I was studying for, for my classes, I was
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studying my parents house and I had gone upstairs to get a
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snack. And then, on the way back to
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studies, I went back down and then That was the moment where I
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actually saw something for the first time.
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Like, in terms of something, had walked by the Light where I
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could see the arms and see the legs and see the head.
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It was like a shadow figure. And so I froze.
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Like what is what was that? And I kind of looked around the
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room. There's no one there.
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I thought someone had come in the room.
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While I was getting my snack but there was no one there and so it
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it freaked me out but I just brushed it off when back to my
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studies. However on I go back to or that
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weekend, I went back to the Buddhist temple and I end up
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talking to the monk that's there.
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He who was my mentor? Spiritual mentor and I tell him
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what happened and he tells me. Oh, well, you know, and what we
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believe is that, if if a spirit or a person doesn't have enough
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Merit, meaning enough, they have, they have done enough good
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in their lives, then their Spirit can't move on or be
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reborn. So I said, okay, so that might
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be what's going on here. And so I say, well, what should
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I do to get rid of this thing and he said, you have, you can
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share your merit with the spirit.
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So I said, okay how do I do that?
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And he tells me, you know, go back meditate.
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And as you're meditating you can offer to the spirit to share
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your Merit and someone back home, I trust them, I'll go back
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home, you know, I'm in the room where I first, you didn't share
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your snap to do. No, I did not.
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But, you know, as I was meditating in the room, the room
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kind of it felt colder as I was meditating.
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And I was like, okay, well, I think I think something's here,
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so I offered I said, you know, I'll share my merit with you and
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then I felt the cold, but it was, it was kind of like inside
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now, and I wasn't just outside. And so I knew something was
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wrong. So I asked my parents, I said,
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hey, are you guys cold? And they're like, know why?
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And I said, I'd never mind. So, From that moment on for the
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next two weeks, it was it was like scary movie stuff, right?
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So I when I when I would be driving at night time and you
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pass the street lights, when I pass a streetlight, the street
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lights would just often just turn off, right?
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I'll just pass a street. Light will turn off and it would
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happen not every street light, but enough for me to know that
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this is not normal. You know, I started sensing
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things in the Hours and hearing like Footsteps in the house.
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And so when it was no one, you know, and so I at 30, I got
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scared to stay at home so I'm like, okay, I'm leaving.
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I actually go to my friend's apartment near my near the
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university and I sleep on his couch, I did that for a little
00:16:00
bit but then I saw the that shadow figure kind of go across
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the wall at his house at his apartment and so.
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Okay I know something's following me, I don't want my
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friend to deal with it so I I pack up my stuff and I leave and
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it's about 10:00 at night, you know.
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So I actually drive to the Buddhist temple and knock on the
00:16:18
door and the monk. He opens the door and lets me
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in. He gives me a room and so I stay
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there for the night and in the morning we talked, you know, he
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he does some Buddhist prayers for me.
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He does some kind of almost like an offering for the spirit and
00:16:35
what a Buddhist prayer be like, you know, there's it's more.
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It was, it wasn't it. I so I didn't understand it, but
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it was like, you know, they chant in that language Bali and
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you know, there's Buddhist holy water, there's an offering.
00:16:54
So he there was like a little package that, you know, I would
00:16:57
kind of resented, the monk, the monk would kind of be the
00:17:00
go-between and kind of just, it's almost like an offering to
00:17:03
the spirit for a piece man, right, yeah.
00:17:06
And he says, you know, if it doesn't get better, just just
00:17:09
come back. And so, a few days later, I come
00:17:11
back, And I said, hey like it's still going on and we sat and
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talked and ultimately, he tells me, you know, I don't know, I
00:17:19
don't know what's wrong with you.
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Some people just have a weaker mind.
00:17:24
And so for me to hear that I was, I was getting hopeless,
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because I'm like, if my mentor, my spiritual Mentor doesn't know
00:17:32
how to help me. Then I'm in big trouble.
00:17:35
So I'm just down, you know, at the same time I still have to go
00:17:38
to school. So I'm back at the University.
00:17:41
And I was, I got out of class maybe around 10:00 at night and
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I'm walking to my car and I'm just hopelessly.
00:17:50
I don't know what to do. I don't know what's going on and
00:17:54
I get into the car and I turn on the, I turned on the car and
00:17:58
there's a, there's a preacher or Pastor on my radio and he's
00:18:01
preaching. And I was like, what's going on?
00:18:03
Because I'm listening to like hip-hop stations, or top 40 and
00:18:07
I'm like why is there a pastor on my radio right now and For
00:18:12
me, I was like, okay, if God is trying to talk to me right now,
00:18:15
I'm going to listen to hear what he has to say.
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So I listened to what he preaches about and he asked the
00:18:21
question. He says, yes.
00:18:23
Do you ever feel like you're in the middle of the ocean and
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there's waves hitting you from every direction?
00:18:28
And I said yeah I kind of feel like that right now and then he
00:18:32
asked, do you ever wonder why God would put you in that
00:18:34
situation? And I said yeah sure he goes
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sometimes. God allows those waves to hit
00:18:40
you so that they They can push you closer to him.
00:18:44
So I took that as if all this craziness is happening to me for
00:18:49
the purpose of meeting, God, then I'll go visit the church,
00:18:53
you know. So Sunday comes around my
00:18:56
friends from undergrad, 10 years ago, invited me to a church.
00:19:00
So I knew where it was that Sunday.
00:19:03
I didn't tell them. I was coming, I just show up
00:19:05
because I'm just like if God is trying to speak to me, I'm going
00:19:08
to go and hear what he has to say.
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So I go to the church. Church.
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I sit in the back corner. I don't announce myself to
00:19:16
anyone. I just kind of sneak into the
00:19:17
back and just my friends are there, but they don't see me
00:19:19
right away and the preachers preaching and In in his during
00:19:27
his message he he pauses and he starts talking about demons and
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the things that he was describing was the things that I
00:19:37
was going through. So I thought it was crazy.
00:19:39
I was like what is happening right now because he's
00:19:41
describing my situation and after service you know they
00:19:45
closed in worship and and the worships playing and I just I'm
00:19:49
just bawling. I'm tears are coming out almost
00:19:51
like everything that was holding inside.
00:19:53
I was holding inside was coming out and And my friends, they
00:19:58
actually actually sees me, and she says, you know, what's going
00:20:00
on? And I said, I can't tell you the
00:20:03
only one I told during this time was the monk.
00:20:05
So not my friends, not my parents, not my brother, just a
00:20:09
monk because it just sounds crazy as I can't tell you what's
00:20:11
going on, but yeah, I'm struggling with something and so
00:20:16
she says Hey after after them, after worship after the service,
00:20:20
would you at least come up to get prayer?
00:20:22
And I said, sure, So I go to the front After service and there's
00:20:27
a couple pastors, their leaders and they ask, you know, what can
00:20:30
I, how can we pray for you? And I told him a little bit
00:20:33
about what I was going through and but they knew, you know,
00:20:36
they knew what was going on and and they said, look, we can pray
00:20:38
for you and the only way to be free, but the only way to be
00:20:42
free is to accept Jesus as your lord and savior.
00:20:45
And I said, no, I'm Buddhist. I'm not going to do it.
00:20:48
And so they say, okay, we're just pray for you or just bless
00:20:52
you so they bless me. And I actually felt better.
00:20:54
So I go home, you know, I haven't been a, I just decide to
00:20:58
go back to my house parents house, and I sleep there because
00:21:01
I think I'm feeling better, you know, that night was actually
00:21:04
like the scariest night of that whole episode.
00:21:07
And so, I wake up Monday morning and I said something has to
00:21:10
change. I can't live this way anymore
00:21:14
and so I remember praying, you know, during the time I was
00:21:18
praying, I remember praying to both Buddha and Jesus.
00:21:20
And I said, I need to know who's real, right?
00:21:22
I need to know what. And on.
00:21:23
Right? I need, I need, I need answers.
00:21:26
I need help. And so I remember praying to God
00:21:30
I said God if you want me to, you know, be a Christian then I
00:21:35
need your help with my parents because I want to honor them you
00:21:38
know, I don't want to just go behind her back and change my
00:21:41
faith and and and hurt them. So I said please, you know, if
00:21:45
you want me to do this then you got to help me with my parents
00:21:46
because I was really important to me.
00:21:49
So, I catch them on Tuesday morning before work, before they
00:21:52
go to work. And I sit them down and I talked
00:21:55
to them and I said, hey, I'm struggling with something.
00:21:58
I'm going through a hard time and they knew they could see it
00:22:00
on my face, but they didn't know what was going on.
00:22:02
So I said I think I found something that can help me
00:22:05
though and they say they asked, they said sure what is it?
00:22:08
And I said religion and they said which one and I said,
00:22:12
Christianity and they said Sure, if you think that's going to
00:22:16
help you, then go ahead and for me I was shocked because it is
00:22:19
so easy almost like wait, what did you say?
00:22:23
And so they went to work and then I go to the senior pastors
00:22:28
house. And I sit with him and he goes
00:22:31
over the gospel with me tells me about Jesus and what he did on
00:22:34
the cross and and and that he rose again and he invites me to
00:22:38
you know follow him and he asked me do I want to follow him?
00:22:42
And I said yes like I want to so he prays for me, he leads me
00:22:47
through the sinner's prayer. And I I leave his house and I
00:22:52
have to go to school and I was like I guess I'm a Christian now
00:22:57
but nothing, you know, I still felt the cold.
00:22:59
I still Oh yeah, so for the whole two weeks, I was pretty
00:23:03
much cold. I was always in my jacket or hat
00:23:06
and gloves even if I'm indoors I just always felt like cold.
00:23:11
So I go to school and I'm studying in the library now and
00:23:17
I began feeling electricity in my feet and I have like, this is
00:23:20
news. What's going on?
00:23:21
I'm trying to like get the electricity to stop in my feet
00:23:24
and it doesn't stop. And so I'm like, okay well maybe
00:23:27
if I'm going to get possessed, I'm going to get possessed.
00:23:29
I don't know what's going on. I just give up and electricity.
00:23:34
It slowly goes up my body, but everywhere below, it was warm.
00:23:39
So if the tingling went up to my knees and everywhere below my
00:23:42
knees was warm now, and it was going like that throughout the
00:23:45
day. It is going up and up and up.
00:23:46
Body. I'm in class about 9:00 at night
00:23:50
at this point and then it's the tingling is on top of my head
00:23:54
and I was like, I still don't know what's going on, but I feel
00:23:57
warm so that's good. And the moment, I hit the top of
00:24:00
my head, the lights in the classroom, they turn off, and on
00:24:04
three times it's like, on off, on off, on off.
00:24:07
And the professor, stop teaching.
00:24:09
And he's like, whoa. There's like a ghost in here and
00:24:11
the kids are laughing, but I'm like, oh, it's probably me.
00:24:16
So, you know I leave class after after class and I'm going to my
00:24:20
car and I was like, I don't know what's going on, but I feel
00:24:22
great, you know, and I'm gonna go visit my friend, the one
00:24:25
who's staying, I'll stay on his couch, so I call him up and say,
00:24:29
hey, I'm going to come over. I'll be there in a little bit
00:24:33
and he says, you probably shouldn't come over.
00:24:35
There's no power here. It's the power went out and then
00:24:38
I hear another, another voice in my head and it's saying it said,
00:24:42
if you go to his place, the power will come back on.
00:24:45
As I was like, okay, well, this has been a strange enough day.
00:24:48
So, hey, I'm going to come over anyway.
00:24:51
So I drive to his apartment and the and yeah, the lights, the
00:24:54
traffic lights are out. The apartment complex is dark.
00:24:58
I pull into the apartment complex, and all the lights.
00:25:00
Come on. So I go into his apartment and I
00:25:03
say, hey, what's going on? What happened?
00:25:04
He says, well, the power went out three different times and it
00:25:07
came back on when you got here and I was like, okay what is
00:25:11
happening right now? So I talk to my pastor later.
00:25:15
I told him what happened. That day, that I accepted
00:25:16
Christ. And he says, oh you know, when
00:25:20
when you accept Jesus you get the Holy Spirit and the Holy
00:25:23
Spirit comes to live inside of you.
00:25:25
That's the warmth 'I felt coming in and then it is pushed the
00:25:28
spirit, the other Spirits out and I said, oh, okay, that
00:25:32
sounds good. That's good.
00:25:34
Okay, and I remember, you know, in the in the morning I woke up
00:25:40
and it was it was as if my whole life, I was wearing sunglasses
00:25:43
and it's like, the sunglasses are off.
00:25:46
Like the birds were chirping. It was the most beautiful
00:25:49
morning I've ever seen in my life.
00:25:51
What is happening right now? And it hit me of I was in my
00:25:54
car. Oh my goodness.
00:25:56
Jesus is real everything. My friends told me 10 years ago,
00:26:00
it's true. And I almost got his watching me
00:26:04
right now and I was almost like hyperventilating.
00:26:07
Like it just hit me all at once, and that's the beginning of my
00:26:10
journey. And from that moment on I was
00:26:12
like, I have to know who Jesus is, I have to know more about
00:26:15
him and that began the The Journey of my faith in Christ.