The Beginning of the End

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to this episode of Become A Competent Biblical Counselor. I'm Dr. Dave Jones,

[00:00:26] and today's episode is entitled The Beginning of the End.

[00:00:32] The Bible reference I want to use is Hebrews 10, 25 where it says not forsaking the assembling

[00:00:40] of ourselves together as the manner of some is.

[00:00:44] So let's begin.

[00:00:46] You have somebody call you with some issues that they're dealing with, and they call

[00:00:50] you primarily because number one, you're a Christian counselor. You're a biblical counselor.

[00:00:57] And they understand that this is the kind of response and this is the kind of resource

[00:01:02] that they're looking for to maybe address and get some relief pertaining to what they're

[00:01:08] struggling with.

[00:01:09] So the process begins with conversation.

[00:01:11] You start asking questions.

[00:01:13] A lot of times, one of the very first things that a counselor will say to you is that,

[00:01:17] well, I'm a Christian.

[00:01:19] Well, remember that as you continue asking questions and at some point in time come back to that

[00:01:25] answer or that statement that they made that they are a Christian and ask them about

[00:01:30] their church attendance, their church membership, and specifically inquire as to, so tell me

[00:01:38] the church you go to.

[00:01:39] How long will it be going to that church?

[00:01:43] Are you a member of that church?

[00:01:45] Now often do you attend church?

[00:01:48] These questions are very, very important because that's what this episode is about.

[00:01:54] And we're going to get into that right now.

[00:01:56] So you're in this counseling process and you start to identify some issues that the

[00:02:04] counselor says that they're having.

[00:02:06] You identify some sinful behavior possibly that they are involved with.

[00:02:12] You give some suggestions, you listen, you answer other questions that they might have.

[00:02:18] So the process goes on and maybe the counseling process goes on for 45 minutes, an hour,

[00:02:25] whatever.

[00:02:26] But the point is you get to the end of this session where you and the counselor have agreed

[00:02:32] on a plan of action that the counselor is going to follow.

[00:02:37] There could be some discussions about habits that have to be broken in new habits that

[00:02:41] have to be put on as Paul says, to put off the old and put on the new.

[00:02:46] So the process has come to a point at the end to where you're pretty confident that it

[00:02:51] went as you had hoped it would.

[00:02:53] You've been very sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit who conduct the session the

[00:02:58] way that he wanted.

[00:03:00] And now it's time to end the session.

[00:03:03] So now what?

[00:03:04] It is not enough to turn your counselor free to go out into the world and work on these

[00:03:10] issues all by themselves.

[00:03:13] There has to be a continual support mechanism during the week to follow that they can rely

[00:03:20] on, they can draw up on in addition to having other counselors if you will play a part

[00:03:27] in their life.

[00:03:29] Back to the question that you asked earlier in this session about going to church.

[00:03:34] Many times people are not going to church because of what happened to them in the past

[00:03:38] with respect to going to church.

[00:03:41] They were treated badly or they were ignored or whatever.

[00:03:45] Or they have just gotten away from going to church, it's just not convenient anymore.

[00:03:51] I know some people down the street from me that used to be very involved with going

[00:03:54] to church but as a result of the pandemic, they just got a convenient more convenient

[00:04:00] just to watch church on TV and not go anymore.

[00:04:04] But let's look at the verse that we quoted to, we're saying not of the assembling of

[00:04:09] yourselves together.

[00:04:11] We do that.

[00:04:12] But the point with respect to your counseling is this is the point to where you have

[00:04:18] to come to encouraging your counseling to go to church.

[00:04:23] The counseling has to return to church.

[00:04:27] There are other counselors, people who may not wear the label of being counselors but

[00:04:32] they are a loving people.

[00:04:34] So the counseling needs to find a church that has loving, caring, supporting people in

[00:04:42] the church.

[00:04:43] A church is going to welcome them.

[00:04:44] A church is going to carry the atmosphere of being a healing church.

[00:04:51] The point of the episode was the beginning of the end.

[00:04:55] Going to church as a result of the information that you as a counselor have given them to

[00:05:00] work on is the beginning of the end of what they're struggling with.

[00:05:05] They used to have a problem with depression, they used to have a problem with anxiety.

[00:05:10] So going to church and learning how to process and identify what you have told them in

[00:05:17] your counseling session is going to help them understand this is the beginning of overcoming

[00:05:23] the issue that they had in the first place.

[00:05:26] But they've got to get into a healing church that's going to give them the encouragement

[00:05:32] to learn and to grow.

[00:05:35] Now some of your counselors are going to say, yeah, I don't know what church they go

[00:05:39] to.

[00:05:40] They're going to find some reason not to go.

[00:05:43] It's not as convenient as it used to be before but from a biblical point of view that's

[00:05:47] the scripture that we started with in this episode do not forsake yourself in the gathering

[00:05:53] with other Christians.

[00:05:55] You grow with other Christians.

[00:05:56] You learn from other Christians, they will get encouragement from other Christians.

[00:06:02] The point is you have to encourage them to go church shopping.

[00:06:08] You might give them some things to look for.

[00:06:10] I know when I used to look for a church, I would go into a church and first of all I

[00:06:14] would find out how am I welcomed?

[00:06:18] How many people are going to come up to me that are not greeters at the door.

[00:06:24] But as I sit in the pew, how many people are going to come up to me and recognize that

[00:06:29] I'm a newbie.

[00:06:30] I'm a rookie.

[00:06:31] I'm the first timer.

[00:06:32] I'm going to welcome you to the church or am I going to sit there and be ignored?

[00:06:37] Also another thing that I'll look for is how many people are carrying their Bible.

[00:06:42] That's interesting.

[00:06:43] And then when the service continues I'm wondering how many people are even opening their

[00:06:49] Bible and following the pastor in the sermon.

[00:06:53] These things are important to me.

[00:06:55] But what is the climate like?

[00:06:57] Is this a healing church, is this a welcoming church, is this a church where I can learn from

[00:07:00] people?

[00:07:01] I can tell too if there's a choir or how happy the people look while they're singing.

[00:07:07] Are they singing the message of the song or are they just singing to go through the

[00:07:10] motions of singing?

[00:07:12] Well you get my drift.

[00:07:14] I want to make reference to a new book that just came out.

[00:07:18] It's written by Dr. Phil McGraw.

[00:07:22] Many of you know who he is, Dr. Phil on TV, the psychologist.

[00:07:25] He wrote a book entitled Weve Got Issues.

[00:07:29] And I want to share something that he mentioned in his book.

[00:07:32] They're very important and indicative of what we're talking about in this episode.

[00:07:36] He says we all need to go back to church because you need to come in to church away from

[00:07:44] the rest of the world to be still and focus on the Lord even if it's just an hour

[00:07:50] a week.

[00:07:52] You need to hit the reset button.

[00:07:54] You and your family need that time to reset in the presence of the Lord even if it's just

[00:08:00] for an hour a week, you're better off for it.

[00:08:04] We're a great sentiment.

[00:08:06] Unfortunately, that's exactly why we should be going to church.

[00:08:11] But too often when I ask people why do they go to church, I had one lady say well to

[00:08:17] be honest with you, I just go to see how the ladies are dressed and what their hair

[00:08:22] is like.

[00:08:23] It's a social thing for me.

[00:08:25] Well, not getting much out of that church or an issue.

[00:08:29] So Dr. Phil goes on.

[00:08:30] He says you can't change what you don't acknowledge.

[00:08:34] Go to church and thus draw closer to God which gives you both the opportunity and the motivation

[00:08:41] to acknowledge the things about yourself that you wish to change.

[00:08:45] My thought here is that the counseling has already gotten into a program of things that

[00:08:50] they want to change with your help counselor.

[00:08:53] Now there needs to be people around this counseling who support and encourage that opportunity

[00:09:00] to change and to help it counseling gain strength and courage to make that as changes.

[00:09:08] Dr. Phil goes on, he says but did you know that our commitment to organized religion

[00:09:13] has been on the decline for some time.

[00:09:16] Right around 2020, church membership, not necessarily church visitation but church membership

[00:09:23] in the United States dropped below 50% for the first time in history.

[00:09:28] Furthermore, the church community is in a sad state somewhere between 6,000 and 10,000

[00:09:35] churches closed down every year.

[00:09:38] When it comes to actual services, there are more bodies in the crypts than in the pews.

[00:09:44] So we as biblical counselors can help turn that trend around by insisting as much as we

[00:09:49] can and encouraging dramatically our counselies to go back to church number one and number

[00:09:55] two if they are going to church get them involved tell them they have to get involved with

[00:10:01] something that's going on in the church.

[00:10:03] And if there isn't anything going on in the church then start something.

[00:10:07] And here's some more evidence is extremely important with respect to getting our counselies

[00:10:13] back into church and getting them more involved.

[00:10:16] According to a front tears in psychology study, spirituality is directly associated with

[00:10:21] psychological well-being.

[00:10:23] Adults who attended religious services at least monthly as adolescents were more likely

[00:10:29] to be happy as adults and actively religious adults smoke and drink less.

[00:10:36] And even though they don't necessarily exercise more, they live longer and cope with stress

[00:10:41] better.

[00:10:42] We are in a mental health crisis in this country right now and one of the solutions is

[00:10:47] staring us in the face.

[00:10:50] One of the things I've noticed and maybe you have two is that very few people attend church

[00:10:55] alone.

[00:10:57] It has been a way of bringing together families and communities it creates an opportunity

[00:11:02] to come together in a shared moment of reverence, a social interaction which science tells

[00:11:08] us strengthens social bonds.

[00:11:11] In a divided society a communal worshiping experience helps create unity and social cohesion.

[00:11:20] This has major implications because the absence of social cohesion is one of the key preconditions

[00:11:26] for conflict and violence.

[00:11:29] So counselor the issue is this.

[00:11:31] If you want to help your counselor get better, get them back in the pew and make sure they

[00:11:37] stay in the pew.

[00:11:38] Make sure they become the victorious councilees that have overcome their problems.

[00:11:45] Biblically at some point in time they can share this opportunity with people in this new church.

[00:11:50] If they don't have a church encourage them shop and find one.

[00:11:55] They have to get involved with the church.

[00:11:57] It is there that they will get the encouragement and support that they need and encourage them

[00:12:02] to ask the Holy Spirit to guide them to where they should belong.

[00:12:08] And it's not up to the council lead to decide that there has to be an answer within the first

[00:12:12] couple of weeks.

[00:12:13] No, it's not up to the council's schedule.

[00:12:16] It's up to the Holy Spirit.

[00:12:18] The council has to be patient enough to initiate the process and wait for the leading of

[00:12:23] the Holy Spirit which they will know directly when they go to a church.

[00:12:27] They will walk in and they'll be able to say this is where I belong.

[00:12:32] I can be healed here.

[00:12:34] Let the process begin.

[00:12:36] Let the beginning of this new experience be the end of why they came to see you in the

[00:12:41] first place.

[00:12:42] I hope this helps and I look forward to talking to you in the next session.