Making Decisions

Hello and welcome to Become a Competent Biblical Counselor. Again, this is Dr. Dave Jones, and today's episode is entitled Making Decisions. And I'm going to use Isaiah chapter 30, starting in verse 18. And it says, So the Lord must wait for you to come to him, so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help. And then scroll down to verse twenty one. Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, This is the way you should go, whether to the right or to the left. So this is one of those episodes where everybody is doing it. We make decisions every day, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of decisions, what we're going to wear. We're going to start with our left foot out or the right foot out. Some of these decisions that we make, we don't even think about because they're just automatic and they don't take too much thought. They're just something that has to be done. And there's no big deal in doing them. So that's what that is. But then again, you're going to have somebody call you and they're going to say, I'm having a real tough time making a decision. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. And this becomes a sad discussion because you can ask them, well, how long have you been struggling with this decision that you're trying to make? And just what is the decision you're trying to make? And why are you trying to make the decision? Is there a schedule that's involved? Is there something you have to do very quickly and you have to make a decision very quickly? And you've created stress because you cannot make the decision. You don't know what you're supposed to do, but you've got to make this decision quickly. What a mess. So in today's world of counseling and therapy and psychology and all that, there are so many ideas and concepts and theories about how you should make a decision. You should make decisions in the morning. You should make decisions on a certain day. There's all kinds of parameters and things that you have to dance around in order to make a successful decision. A lot of people just really buy into these things. Um, some people call them superstitions. Well, if I do this, then this is what's going to happen. If I do this, then this is what's going to happen. So it's so incredibly decision, this thing called decision making. But God has a way, and I'm going to get into that with you today and give you some things that you can think about, talk to your counselees about, help them to understand what God's purpose is for the decisions that we make. And uh you can impart this information to a successful counseling session. So here it goes. So let's start off by telling your counselee that they must gather all of the facts, all of the data. They cannot make a decision unless they have the facts. And they might take a day or two or a week to gather all the facts. But the problem to be concerned about here is that in order for you to make a good decision, you have to know everything that's involved with making the decision. If after a number of days they are done, what I mean by that is that they can't add anything new to the data collecting. And so it's important then to start getting some input, getting some input from other people, people that can shed light on things that you have no idea should be considered. For example, I want to buy a car, and I've determined what kind of car I want. It looks nice, it's what I can afford, and I think this is this is what I need. And after a while, you say, Well, I still don't have a piece about buying that car. Well, talk to somebody other than the salesman about that kind of car. And this other person might have information about a car, especially that car, that you never even considered. For example, is this an automatic transmission or is it a manual transmission? What kind of a braking system does it have? Because if you have this kind of a braking system, you could have this happen in the future. And what about a fuel injection system? You might not know anything at all about fuel injections, but somebody might say, Well, I've heard that these kind of cars have this problem with this kind of engineering, and and they've been recalled, and there's a lot of things you must consider. Wow, now we've got some facts that we had no idea that was a part of the decision process. But these are from people that we trust, we have confidence in their their data input, and we might totally be so excited to change our mind based upon different kinds of data that we receive. So your counselees have to make sure that they get as much detail pro and con that they can for the decision that they're trying to make. Understand this, and this is very, very important to making decisions. You have to be very careful of scheduling. I have to have this schedule done, I have to have this uh decision made by next Friday. Really? Do you really have to have it done by next Friday? Because you're going to rush doing things for the sake of your schedule instead of making the right decision. But your counselee probably has allowed emotions to enter into the data collection status, and they're just so excited to make this decision and to have it over and to get on with their life with everything else. But let's stop right there. One of the things in making a decision is that they have to consider what the alternative will be in making that decision. Simply ask them, if you make this decision one way or the other, what is your life going to be like in six months or a year? Can you project out that far? What would happen pro or con based upon the decision that you're making six months down the road, nine months down the road? Do you have an alternative plan? So I think at this point some of you are thinking, well, now you're adding more anxiety to the decision-making process because now there are more elements to consider, and the decision is now even more difficult. Not necessarily. Let's wait to see what God has to say about it, and then we'll readdress this again. And the important also to remember here is the fact that you have to be very, very careful about making decisions based upon your feelings or any other emotions that you want to include in this process. I think what happens here with counsel A's is that they're more horizontally focused with making a decision than they are vertically focused. They're more concerned about not only how they're going to feel and how they're going to act, but what is everybody else going to think about the decisions that they have made? Where is the standard of measurement? Who is the standard of measurement? Well, it's the Bible. That's where the answer is for the decisions, and that's where God comes in. We should be more concerned about the vertical response that we have and the fact that we did it in honoring God and making the decision that we made. So let me elaborate a little bit more on that. Let's say you're counseling a woman is having a difficult time making a decision over two men. She has asked God for years and years and years about having a husband that she wants to be a wife and she's looking for God's man in her life. All of a sudden, God answered her questions out of the blue after a number of years. She feels inclined to be attracted to two different men, both of whom desire her greatly. And now she's wondering, well, what happens if one of them was to ask me to marry him? What do I do? Which ones do I select? How can God help me with this? I think what's important to understand from a biblical point of view that God has required her to marry a man who's of biblical and godly character. He's not an adulterer. There are things in the Bible that identify what the perfect man, the perfect husband, if there ever could be, should be, and what a woman should consider in looking for a husband. Two candidates that fulfill the requirement that God has set for selection. God has answered prayer, fulfilled his responsibility in providing her with two candidates of godly character. Now it's her choice. This is where the decision comes in. One might be husky, the other one might be slim, one might be tall, the other might be short, one might be wealthy, the other not yet. But the situation is God has given her two godly men to make a decision. Now it's up to her. Based upon her preferences, based upon what she thinks of the individual physical and emotional and psychological characteristics of each of these men, it's her decision. And she's shouldn't be waiting for God to make that decision as to who she should marry. He's given her two examples. And now he's saying to her, You you've fulfilled what you should in seeing life from my point of view. See, there's the vertical. Pick one. Because whatever one you pick, it's going to be alright. You look six months down the road, what is your life like? You can say, Well, with both men, I feel it's going to be very godly, very loving, very sweet and understanding. Well, pick one. So the point I'm trying to make is that your counselee doesn't have to wait for God to select the exact item or person to make the decision about. God has given you parameters, He satisfied those correct parameters. Make your decision. One of my favorite verses that I use in helping me make decisions, maybe people use different ones, but this is the one that I use, and this is one I've always counted on. In Philippians chapter 4, starting in verse 4, it says, Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say again, rejoice. Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember the Lord is coming soon. See, there's a reflection and an emphasis upon the vertical and looking at life from God's point of view. And then when it comes to making decisions, it says, Don't worry about anything. How much time is your counselee really spending on making this decision and aggravating making these decisions and the difficulty of making the decisions and how long their life has been totally upset because of the decision that they're trying to make. But the Bible says right here, don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. That means when you're counseling praise to God for, back to my example, a husband, a godly husband. She not only plays in generalities, she prays in particulars. She prays in details. And what happens if she does that? Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. So to summarize, you ask your counselor to make sure that she has gotten all of the data and all of the facts that she needs. Help her to get some support and some encouragement and some guidance from people who might be more experienced in this particular issue that she's making trying to make a decision on, and then pray. Pray in particulars, pray in generalities, and pray in detail for what God wants her to realize in making this decision. And that after God has brought all the factors into play, God's going to say, Okay, I've answered your prayer. Make your decision based upon your preferences, your likes, and your joy, and I will be there with you. Decisions. They're not as difficult as we make them. We just need to do it God's way, vertically. Don't be concerned, don't have your counselors be concerned about how other people are going to think about the decisions that they have made, but help them to realize that this is a decision that God has given me the peace to make, and I'm content with that. Thanks for listening and make your decisions easy. We'll talk to you later.

Bye.