Feelings or Commandment

[00:00:01] Hello there and welcome to Become A Competent Biblical Counselor. I'm Dr. Dave Jones and today's

[00:00:24] episode is entitled, Feeling or Commandment. Now that's an interesting title but really

[00:00:31] there are only two ways of life. We could sum up this complex disordered society of ours

[00:00:38] or a society of the future or past in one of two ways. Those who followed their own desires,

[00:00:46] their feelings, their wishes, their wants and those who followed the commandments of the

[00:00:51] Word of God. Fundamentally the problem of the first sin amounted to this. Adam and Eve

[00:00:58] opted for the sanctification and the satisfaction of desire rather than for obedience to the

[00:01:05] commandment of God. The devil appealed to the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh

[00:01:11] and the pride of life. An interesting comparison is to compare 1 John 2.16 with Genesis 3.6.

[00:01:20] Over against this lust, over against this desire as the word lust means, the desire

[00:01:27] of the eyes, desire of the flesh, pride of life was God's simple commandment. You shall

[00:01:35] not eat. The options given to them are really the same options that we face now. All through

[00:01:42] life, day by day, hour by hour. They reflect two distinct moralities, two antithetical

[00:01:50] religions if you will, and two discrete manners of life. On the one hand the one says I shall

[00:01:57] live according to feeling. The other says I shall live as God says. As one councillor

[00:02:04] put it succinctly, I hate her and I hit her. When Adam sinned he was oriented toward

[00:02:11] feeling, abandoning the commandment-oriented life of love for the feeling-oriented life

[00:02:17] of lust. You see there are only two ways of life, the feeling-motivated life of sin oriented

[00:02:27] toward oneself and the commandment-oriented life of holiness oriented toward God. These

[00:02:34] two ways of life are diametrically opposed to one another and forced one to make a choice

[00:02:41] between them. Throughout the day one's life consists of many such choices. The two

[00:02:47] lifestyles involve patterns of lust or love. They are oriented toward and motivated by the

[00:02:54] council's desire or God's commandments since they acknowledge two distinct sources of authority,

[00:03:02] self or the Bible. They focus upon separate goals, temporary pleasure or eternal joy.

[00:03:10] They acknowledge two masters, Satan or God. They offer two different ways of handling

[00:03:16] life's problems. The one resorts to running, covering up, lying, blame-shifting and so on.

[00:03:24] While the other insists upon facing problems, confessing sins, speaking truth and assuming

[00:03:31] personal responsibility, they bring about their own results too. The bondage of chaos in

[00:03:37] this life and eternal loss or the freedom of structure and eternal joy, one was

[00:03:43] the way of the so-called enlightenment, the other was the way of the Reformation. Until recently

[00:03:50] the former was present in Western culture but the latter was the official stance of most

[00:03:56] of the institutions of society and of culture. But now reversal is taking place in what has

[00:04:02] been called the rise of the new morality. It is not new. The only thing that's new

[00:04:09] is that the former hedonistic way of life that was once under wraps is newly replacing

[00:04:15] the old official Reformation stand upon responsibility to God that once permeated our Western world,

[00:04:23] living according to feeling rather than God's commandment as a fundamental hindrance to

[00:04:29] godliness. It's a clever while of Satan to tempt men to think that they cannot do

[00:04:35] what God requires because they don't feel like doing it or that they must do what they

[00:04:41] feel like doing and cannot help themselves. Often the argument takes subtle forms which

[00:04:47] at first seem plausible, even pious. For instance, a husband and wife may say, I guess there's

[00:04:54] nothing left to our marriage. No love, no feeling, nothing. And thereby hope that

[00:05:01] the Christian counselor will concede that a divorce is allowable on other than scriptural

[00:05:06] grounds. They can get him to agree to this. They hope that their bad consciences over what

[00:05:13] they have already determined to do may be saved. They vainly look for Balm and Gilead

[00:05:20] in his little kick up tricks but instead the Christian counselor must reply, I'm sorry

[00:05:26] to hear that. I guess you'll have to confess your sin and learn how to love one another again.

[00:05:33] This reaction, their reaction to this is usually sheer astonishment. They protest, we told you

[00:05:41] we don't feel anything for each other anymore but the counselor has to say, I understand

[00:05:46] that. But that's irrelevant. God says you must love one another and if you must

[00:05:53] love and you don't then you need to learn how to do so. And when you learn how to love

[00:05:59] one another the feelings of love will follow. Love is not feeling first, it begins with

[00:06:06] obedient living, obedient living toward God. They might say what do you mean that we must

[00:06:13] try to love one another contrary to our feelings? And the answer is that exactly. Wouldn't

[00:06:20] that be hypocrisy? They might protest. No, it would be simple obedience to God who has

[00:06:26] commanded husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

[00:06:33] So the counselor has to say, Joe, God says you're responsible to love Phyllis. Love

[00:06:40] begins with you, the husband whose love must reflect the love of Jesus Christ which

[00:06:46] in 1st John 419 is described this way. We the church love because he Jesus Christ first loved

[00:06:54] us. He might say I didn't love her that way. Well, then you'll have to start at a lower

[00:07:00] level I guess. Christ commanded love your neighbor as yourself. And that's to 2239 and

[00:07:07] of course she is your closest neighbor. You have to live with her, sleep with her,

[00:07:14] eat with her. You might say I can't even love her like I love my neighbor, okay? Then

[00:07:19] he has to begin at the lowest level. Love your enemies. Christ says Matthew 524 that

[00:07:27] that is the commandment. There's no way out. God commands love even toward an enemy.

[00:07:33] And a couple who say we have no love left are people who are following feelings and

[00:07:38] making love equal to feelings. Love begins not with feeling first, but it is first expressed

[00:07:46] by giving. How do you love an enemy? Not by trying to feel right toward him, but by giving.

[00:07:55] Check this out. God so loved the world that he what? He gave. He loved me and gave himself

[00:08:04] for me. Husbands, love your wives and give yourself up for them as Christ loved the church

[00:08:10] and gave himself up for her. You see when you love to give of yourself, your time, your

[00:08:17] money, your interest, eventually you will feel what you ought to feel toward that other

[00:08:22] person because where your love and treasure is there will your heart be also and your

[00:08:29] heart includes the whole man as well. It means the whole man, including his feelings. It's

[00:08:36] not hypocritical then to do what God says and obey the commandment. It's never hypocritical

[00:08:42] to obey God. Indeed, the only thing that makes it hypocritical is to say you love

[00:08:48] when you really don't, but you can begin to learn to love if you begin to invest

[00:08:53] yourself in that other person whom you don't love as you might ought to right now,

[00:08:57] your wife, your husband, your children, your parents, your friend, your neighbor, your

[00:09:02] boss. Invest your life giving whatever that other person needs and that you have

[00:09:08] that you can give even to the very life itself. When you give into your enemy a

[00:09:14] cup of cold water or something to eat pretty soon he's no longer your enemy

[00:09:18] though you may be his. Your feeling toward him will change. Don't start

[00:09:24] with feeling first. Start with obedience to the word of God and your life will be

[00:09:28] totally different. So be careful when you base your life on how you feel. Feelings

[00:09:34] come last. Feelings are a result of your thoughts and your actions. Your

[00:09:40] feelings will be automatic. Have a great day and be blessed. We'll talk to

[00:09:46] you later.