Pt. 2: Jen Becker + Teen Challenge

[00:00:02] Welcome to the Ask About My Faith Podcast where our hope is to inspire everyday faith conversations.

[00:00:09] I'm Jess. And I'm Abby. Today, Jen Becker is back for part two of our conversation. She is a wife, mother of two young adults and a girl noodle and self-proclaimed pursuer of the collisions of opposites in life.

[00:00:22] We had such a good time hearing Jen's stories in part one, so we encourage you to start there.

[00:00:27] But today, Jen shares about how she's gotten to testify of God's goodness simply by living changed and not being afraid to share about her own transformation.

[00:00:37] You're going to hear stories that tie back to her own testimony. Let me tell you her confidence in and display of God's redemption is so inspiring.

[00:00:47] Let's jump back in.

[00:00:48] Well, Jen, we heard in the first part of our conversation about how you came to know the Lord and it sounds like it was kind of a dramatic change for you.

[00:01:04] Is there anything else that you would note about kind of your journey so far and what that looks like?

[00:01:15] Maybe just a quick note about how it was dramatic for those who maybe missed part one or have yet to go back and listen.

[00:01:23] And then share with us about how a friend of yours kind of noticed that.

[00:01:29] Yeah. Yeah, it was dramatic in a lot of ways to go from being like, I mean, I feel like when I think, I remember the first time I heard the story of the prodigal son.

[00:01:43] And I remember that was one of the, you know, I heard a sermon on that at the church and I just remember being like, wow, why didn't know that was in the Bible?

[00:01:53] You know, like, because I'd never opened up and never had a good example of like grace in my life. It was like, okay, I didn't even know that was in there, but I just saw myself so much in that.

[00:02:03] Like, I was so lost. I was so like scared, angry, resentful, like bitter. There's so much going on.

[00:02:13] And so to all of a sudden make this shift to like, I don't know, it just felt like I, there was days where I was just like, who am I?

[00:02:22] Like, I just like, I couldn't, I couldn't even like, I didn't even recognize myself, you know.

[00:02:27] Wow. And so to make such a drastic shift, I mean, within a year, I ended up like leaving my corporate job and like taking an unpaid internship at the church that made no sense at all, which was incredible.

[00:02:42] Yeah.

[00:02:44] Yeah. And, and so yeah, it was really different because a lot of my family was kind of confused by it too. They were kind of like looking at me like what, like my sister was kind of like, you know, because everything that had happened in Jason and I's marriage to I mean there was a lot of like damage that had taken place and there's just a lot of stuff that had happened and so people were confused

[00:03:02] and so I was like, you went from like, you know, I was kind of the person that I think a lot of people would look at and say like, if you want to know how to not do it, like look at Jen's life.

[00:03:15] Like, because I made a lot of bad decisions. Like as a young teenager, I was like a party animal. I was pregnant as a teenager. Like there was just a lot, you know.

[00:03:24] And so I think then when all of a sudden it's, I made this shift in my life where I'll send I had like this piece that doesn't make sense. And I was like apologizing to people and I was like owning my stuff and I was going to therapy and I was like doing all of the things I was going to church like it was just people in my life had a hard time,

[00:03:45] like how do we, how do we interact with you. And frankly I lost most of my friends from that period of my life like walked away because they just didn't know how to how to deal with it, you know, like we had some things that we used to relate on that were like, you know around

[00:04:01] partying and gossiping and like, you know, those kinds of things that we had always done. And then all of a sudden I like no longer wanted to participate in all of that. It was kind of like, okay, they just didn't know how to relate.

[00:04:12] And so they honestly just kind of walked out of my life for a season and I found myself at church and needing to make a whole bunch of new friends and what a blessing.

[00:04:21] And I mean, when I look at hindsight it's like God knew exactly what I needed and brought some of the most incredible people into my life that taught me and showed me and helped me like repair and taught me how to pray and taught me like I mean I learned so much in the first few years of being a Christian just because people surrounded me

[00:04:39] and it was like the way to do it. And yeah, and so there was friends that still stuck around but Ben is one of them that man he was like one of my both my husband and I's best friends he I met him in 10th grade English class.

[00:04:54] We were like party animals we were I mean, in high school we were like partying before school after school every weekend every like we were just all over the place all the time you know really up to no good.

[00:05:08] And so we were really nice kids but really not trying to like do the right thing you know and so it was one of those relationships where Jason and I were the first of our friends that have kids like none of the rest of our friends had kids and so we were kind of like settled down and a lot of my friends were

[00:05:22] already in and so I remember early on in my in my walk with Jesus I remember like hearing a message which so much of it too it's like I think back on some of these early messages that really profoundly impacted me like hearing a message about like inviting people you know like

[00:05:39] like Peter's words just like just come and see you know just come and see like I remember like being equipped with that language like I don't really understand all of it yet but just come and see for yourself.

[00:05:49] And so I remember calling Ben one day and being like dude like Jason and I started going to church.

[00:05:54] Would you ever consider coming and he's like no that's never in my thing or whatever and.

[00:05:59] And so I just like accepted that and I kind of just started praying for him and then over the years I mean multiple times Jason would try to invite him to something or we're doing this worship night or we're doing this Bible study or we're doing whatever we're going on this whatever we all sorts of things you're

[00:06:14] always trying to invite Ben.

[00:06:16] Jason and Ben had a band in high school.

[00:06:19] And so Jason was trying to get Ben to like come and play guitar for like we are short of guitar player this weekend for church like dude come on you can shred like come and play with us and then it was always like no it's not not my deal you know

[00:06:30] and then a three actually about three years ago.

[00:06:34] Ben's dad passed away like maybe the week before Easter pretty suddenly had a heart attack and passed away and called me and he to let me know that that had happened and you know without even thinking about only dude I'm so sorry I'm praying for you.

[00:06:54] You know like I it was just me trying to like be in the moment with my friend and not thinking necessarily about exactly what I was saying but just it was just a natural response.

[00:07:03] And he was kind of like okay yeah that's cool and then we hung up the phone a couple maybe 20 minutes later he called me back he's like hey so I'm having to do the eulogy at my dad's funeral.

[00:07:18] And so I was reading through the Bible to try to find some like Bible verses to use for my dad's funeral.

[00:07:26] But I don't really know anything about this book like I don't know like do you have any suggestions do you have any ideas and so I just kind of like set him on a little bit of a path in the Gospels you know like if it was me I would probably hang out here

[00:07:40] and then he called me back like hey so I was reading and he's like do you actually believe what it says in here and I was like yeah I actually do and he's like huh alright and then we hang up you know and then the funeral came and he had this beautiful eulogy like honored his dad so well

[00:08:00] and then the next couple of days he was just like I've just been thinking more about this.

[00:08:05] I really want to know the Jesus that I read about in scripture.

[00:08:08] Wow.

[00:08:09] And I was like dude.

[00:08:13] He wants to know you too so let's go you know and so that kind of just started this conversation between the two of us where you know like he just started asking questions and like yeah but what about this and what about this and so I just started like throwing out books and throwing out

[00:08:29] suggestions and eventually he started going to church and I mean now he's like a super regular you know part of our local church and something that's so fun is I'm a part of a ministry in my community called Breakfast Club and it's a pretty big student ministry that's grown pretty spontaneously just God do him a God does

[00:08:48] and Ben and I serve at Breakfast Club together now which I think is so funny and so ironic because we used to hang out before school all the time in a completely different way and now we're like serving hash browns and like passing out bibles before school

[00:09:05] and so it's been really cool to just see his like growth and transformation and now him and I meet like every other week and he wants to just ask like big questions about the Bible like hey what about you know what do you think about these verses and

[00:09:18] these verses and Ephesians or whatever and I had this like revelation a couple maybe it's a couple months ago where I was just driving and thinking like man Ben has seen me at the absolute worst he's seen me like if there's anybody other than Jason that seen me in my app in like the absolute worst parts of my life

[00:09:38] sure

[00:10:08] I'm just like so humbled I'm so humbled by that that he's been able to be a witness to like man I saw her like this there was one thing that happened in the middle and it's Jesus and now I see her like this I yeah and so I mean just to see the kind of dad he is they come over for

[00:10:29] every few weeks and his son like his his son's favorite thing he's been junior he his son's favorite thing is like I cut his hair and then he wants to hear Bible story so I always am just like telling him a story something that's in the Bible and so we you know and so I just

[00:10:46] I'm like so blessed by one that like lifelong friendship and then to that I get to be this witness to like a whole new chapter of his story in life and his marriage and his kids and just it's just so beautiful to watch and that I get to like be a part of witnessing

[00:11:04] that I'm just so humbled by that right I love that we've gotten a taste of you know relationship as new as you know that girl who was a student of yours when you were Jean Cosmetology school yeah and then we've got the taste of this where you were friends for what 20 years

[00:11:21] 20 years yes so fun and it's amazing so sorry so much redemption to in stories of just and like restoration and I think I mean it's so beautiful because that's what the Lord wants for all of us is restoration even if we don't have a big dramatic like salvation moment it's like there's still relationships where you can see restoration

[00:11:48] and and redemption yeah it just goes back to like living out the gospel and loving God well and loving people well and it really seems like you do that so well.

[00:12:00] Well thank you.

[00:12:01] I'm still my best you know.

[00:12:05] Let's jump into a story that whoa I'm so interested to hear more and hear how this went down you were I don't know if you're a witness or if you were just the first at the scene of an accident and you have to share your faith tell us about that story.

[00:12:24] Yeah that I'm that's one of those stories in my life that like profoundly impacted me and I actually think it's that it was like one of those.

[00:12:34] I don't know can you look back on times in your life where it's like that shifted like the trajectory of my life it was like one of those kinds of moments you know.

[00:12:45] Yeah it actually wasn't that long ago I think it was like 2019.

[00:12:50] I was I had dropped off my kids at school in the morning and was coming back home and on my way back home on the road that actually live on so I drive by that every single day.

[00:13:03] On the road that I live on she a lady was coming like at me in traffic like she was in the wrong lane and she was driving like that like at me.

[00:13:14] And there was one car in front of me and he I mean there's a series of events but they ended up colliding head on.

[00:13:24] And her car kind of veered off his car went off completely off the road and hit a tree on the side of the road.

[00:13:32] And I yeah there was nobody else around I pulled over I ran up to her car first and was her window was just cracked maybe a little bit and I was trying to get her door open but it was like smashed shut.

[00:13:49] And I was trying to stop traffic at the same time and there was just nobody around and I kind of reached my hand in and I was trying to like like wake her up and unfortunately she had passed and it was like one of those moments where

[00:14:04] I didn't have anything to do but like just ask God to do what only he can do you know is like adrenaline taken over in a way that I was able to like pull her door down and like try to get in there but she was already deceased at that point and somebody finally pulled over.

[00:14:20] And I asked them to call them on one and then I ran down to where the other car was.

[00:14:26] And when I got closer.

[00:14:29] There was a kid and he was just yelling like help help help.

[00:14:34] And so I was able to pull his door open and get him out and it was like a young like 19 year old kid.

[00:14:42] And he was really scared really shaken up like bleeding but able to walk and he was like just you know my life is over.

[00:14:53] And I said what do you mean and he said well I'm high I have drugs in the car.

[00:15:02] I think that she just hit me.

[00:15:03] I don't I don't think I hit her.

[00:15:05] I think she hit me and it was just one of those moments where he's like you have a lighter which I had.

[00:15:12] I happened to have a lighter in my pocket.

[00:15:14] He just wanted to smoke a cigarette before we had to go to jail.

[00:15:17] And I was like I actually happen to have a lighter in my pocket so so he stands any lights up a cigarette and he's standing there smoking on the side of the road and I just asked him if I could pray like I don't really know what this is and he told me his name and so I just I just prayed for God's mercy.

[00:15:31] For God's hand on him and then for whatever reason I just what prompted to like tell him what I saw in him and and just like I like I see you.

[00:15:41] You are smart.

[00:15:42] You are strong.

[00:15:43] You are capable.

[00:15:44] You are loved and seen and valued and he was like okay and I'm a criminal and I'm going to jail for the rest of my life.

[00:15:50] And and then when the police showed up, I mean I get it.

[00:15:54] I you know it was hard because I watched them treat him according to how he saw himself not according to who he actually is.

[00:16:02] Yeah.

[00:16:03] And it was immediately like, you know, some pretty like rough things were said which I understand it was a really serious situation.

[00:16:13] And so I ended up going home and it was a really hard situation because just the way that the police ended up charging him it wasn't like accurate to what actually happened and so he ended up being charged with a DWI and vehicular criminal vehicular manslaughter.

[00:16:32] And it was a really serious thing, you know, his court I went to court and I found out pretty quickly just doing my own little research like he wasn't raised in a home where he was raised by people that also struggled with addiction and he didn't have structure.

[00:16:49] He didn't, you know, make it through high school.

[00:16:52] And so he was just like, you know, he just was kind of set up in a way to not succeed unfortunately, which doesn't excuse your bad choice in the moment but also like a series of events led him to this place and.

[00:17:04] And so it was just really like difficult and traumatic.

[00:17:07] And so I stayed in touch with him through the court process he was sentenced to six years in prison.

[00:17:13] And I stayed in touch with him once he got there and just like told him like man, I see you like what happened is what happened and but God has a bigger plan in mind when it comes to you and your life and I'll never forget I got an email from him.

[00:17:30] Probably about three years into his jail sentence, talking about how he had met the Lord.

[00:17:36] And he was doing treatment and he was doing really well and he, you know, was getting the help that he needed and.

[00:17:43] And Sharon is the woman that passed away in the situation Sharon's family Sharon was a missionary like she was this incredible woman her whole life she spent her whole life like.

[00:17:58] Traveling the world and telling people about Jesus and.

[00:18:02] And so her family had started visiting him in prison and they brought him a Bible and they had been like praying with him and trying to help him figure out like his life and what he was going to do after this and he just sent me this big long email about how he can't believe that somebody would forgive him for that for what he had done and.

[00:18:24] And so yeah I mean that was really just one of those like wow not only the experience of the whole thing and just seen God's.

[00:18:32] It was just like one of those places where I felt like I could like feel God's presence being at the at the scene like there was a reason why I was there.

[00:18:42] And so that was the first time I saw her.

[00:18:45] That day.

[00:18:48] And then after to see how her family so profoundly impacted.

[00:18:55] Yeah, his life and his story he was actually released about two months ago from prison.

[00:19:02] Okay, and he's out he's working and like doing really well and he's like I'm still blown away by the fact that you were there that day to pray with me and to like.

[00:19:11] I'm still blown away by the fact that you showed up in my court dates like he had nobody else there like no family there you know he's like.

[00:19:17] I'm still blown away by the fact that Sharon's family would show up for me and be so generous and you know and so he's like my only motivation right now he's like I want to fight for my own life but really it's realizing

[00:19:29] like I've been given like a second lease on life because of the kindness and goodness of people around me and I don't want to take that for granted you know and so.

[00:19:38] Yeah, his story is it's still it's like one of those like how wow and then yeah about two weeks later I started at Teen Challenge and the first client that I worked with had been convicted of criminal vehicular manslaughter and had just got had was heading to prison and so it was like one of those.

[00:19:58] Like wow to be in the you know in a close proximity and relationship with the person that's dealing with the same things that he's dealing with it actually gave me very directive.

[00:20:11] Opportunity with like praying for him knowing what this person was experiencing I was like man I actually feel like this is like a very like directive prayer assignment for him and for his life knowing that he's probably dealing with a lot of very similar feelings as this other person is.

[00:20:27] Yeah, because you're now you're the chaplain at Teen Challenge right yeah yeah okay wow did you have that job lined up before the accident.

[00:20:37] I was in the interview process when that happened yeah yeah it was kind of like yeah that whole picture was just kind of like a.

[00:20:46] Okay there's something on this and the way that God wants to use me in this next season that I'm paying attention to and yeah that kind of led me it kind of propelled me to like actually see.

[00:20:58] One the need.

[00:21:01] And two just like my my responsibility in it you know yeah yeah.

[00:21:06] Man, Jen I feel like we need a part three with you.

[00:21:09] We'll see if we can work that out but.

[00:21:12] We have to wrap up we have to wrap up our time so let's go ahead and just end with some encouragement or a suggestion some advice for listeners as they go out and share their faith and maybe just one really practical kind of to do something to focus on even this week as they go out and ensure their faith.

[00:21:33] I love that.

[00:21:35] Well from an encouragement standpoint I mean I just think there's something so profound about realizing that.

[00:21:46] Like God really is enough like it sounds so like well yeah that's what every worship song is about you know but like but like genuinely like God really is enough and he also calls you enough which is like this.

[00:22:01] It's like where that what actually means is like that you have everything that you need like like it like God means it when he says like he'll give you everything you need for both life and godliness.

[00:22:11] Like there's like there's there's like reality to the fact that you have everything you need I think so often in times of like you know confusion or fear whatever I've kind of fallen into this like scarcity mindset of like I don't have enough I don't have what it takes I don't have enough Bible knowledge I don't have enough you know spiritual maturity I don't have enough.

[00:22:30] Whatever fill in the blank right and so it's like credibility it's like what if that's a lie like what if because he's enough and he calls you enough you are enough and you actually have everything you need and so I just would encourage people to like spend some time actually thinking about the fact that if you were if you were supposed to have something else in your hands today you would you know.

[00:22:53] And so whatever you have in your hands and in your heart today like is enough to for you to do exactly what God's asking you to do.

[00:23:01] And then the second thing something that I've been like really practicing lately is just this idea of like getting empty before I start my day.

[00:23:08] Like I've been really like thinking about like just the beatitudes and Jesus saying like blessed are the poor in spirit meaning like blessed are the poor like the empty like not like physically poor like the empty like and so empty in myself of like all of the like opinions about what's in my day judgments about what's in my day fears about what's in my day anxieties about what's in my day.

[00:23:33] Just like all of the things that I'm anticipating even about the day because it says blessed are those who are poor in spirit for they'll see God and it's like I like I more than anything want to see God like I want to see God and to realize that I can't see God if I'm holding on to my own judgments my own opinions my own agendas my own anxieties.

[00:24:01] And so every morning before I'm getting out of bed that's been my prayer like Lord.

[00:24:06] I want to be empty of all of my ideas about what this day needs to be or not be or whatever and instead I want to be open to you showing me you in the day you know and so I would just encourage people to like start thinking about that and even practicing that like what can you let go of to make space.

[00:24:25] I mean that's what James is talking about like how can you expect to receive anything from God if he won't let go of the thing you're already holding on to so tightly.

[00:24:33] Like what if we were to let go of all of our ideas and instead grab a hold of his instead and what an adventure when people are like man like how is your life changed since becoming a Christian it's like I live the craziest most wild adventurous life you can think of like I am not bored I thought being a Christian was going to be boring that's what kept me from my life.

[00:24:55] And for a long time like I'm the opposite of bored for sure like it is a wild adventure.