Jeff May + Inaction isn't an Option

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_03]: Welcome to the Ask About My Faith Podcast, Where Our Hope is To Inspire Everyday Faith Conversations.

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm Jess.

[00:00:10] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm Abby.

[00:00:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Today we're excited to share a conversation that we had with Dr. Jeff May.

[00:00:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Jeff is a longtime family friend and is a passionate guy, a character who runs the

[00:00:21] [SPEAKER_02]: advantage health center.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_02]: That's in Jordan Minnesota.

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Jeff, he uses the gifts that God gave him to help people live healthier, happier lives.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_02]: In this episode, Jeff shares his journey to faith, beginning in high school and continuing

[00:00:36] [SPEAKER_02]: into college where a snowy drive led to a powerful moment of witnessing the first time sharing

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_02]: his faith.

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_02]: One of the standout quotes is, Inaction is NOT an Option.

[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_02]: A sentiment that resonates in his story of sharing a faith with a friend and college and

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_02]: his is strange father-in-law.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_02]: We hope this conversation inspires you to take action in your faith journey because

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_02]: truly, Inaction is NOT an Option.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's jump in.

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_03]: Jeff, thank you so much for joining us today.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_03]: Welcome to the podcast.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my gosh, thank you.

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_01]: This is awesome.

[00:01:16] [SPEAKER_01]: This is really cool.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_01]: We all have microphones.

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_01]: We all have headphones that feel super efficient.

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_03]: Really, really, really, really, really, really.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, I'm so sure.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_01]: I love it.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I love it.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't right.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_03]: Well, as we get started, we love to first have you shared with our listeners how you

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_03]: came to know the Lord yourself?

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_03]: How did that go?

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_03]: Take us back.

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, we had to go away back.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_01]: It seems like every year that goes by.

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you guys are old enough really for this but it's like I feel like mentally

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't age but physically there's some changes for sure.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_01]: So thinking way back, it was grew up in middle and over in Nebraska, only on the Nebraska.

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_01]: And classically, super super grateful for my upbringing.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_01]: We grew up.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_01]: We went to church.

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a price hat in the same pew at the low Lutheran church and you went from your confirmation

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_01]: and you did all those things to my junior high and whatnot.

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_01]: And so God wasn't in Jesus wasn't a foreign concept.

[00:02:15] [SPEAKER_01]: However, as you know and probably most of your listeners, there's a difference between knowing

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_01]: and the relationship aspect.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like okay, you can know about a thing but applied knowledge usually is like wisdom.

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Do you start to have a wisdom?

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Can you like wisdom usually comes from, yeah, and wisdom comes from walking.

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_01]: So are you walking in that part and so there's an action component and I really love

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_01]: that aspect and so for me, that would have for sure started when I was a sophomore

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_01]: in high school.

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_01]: So I remember playing basketball and I was at the time maybe varsity or I can't remember

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_01]: but it was like I know we were playing our rivals Westhold in Nebraska so it's like

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_01]: we were in Easthold County there in Westhold County and all these things.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, the rivalry game and unfortunately we came up short at the final buzzers of

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_01]: the team lost and so in the locker you can manage teenage boys.

[00:03:15] [SPEAKER_01]: So we competitive and there's probably some explosive words being used by some people

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and like it just a tense moment like nobody's happy.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Like you could have been like they'd given even to your good friend but like they would kind

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_01]: of like stick it in your ear not right now you know what I'm doing.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_01]: And there's just one player and he was he was he was one of the starters and he was

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_01]: a stud like he's a really, really good basketball player so I had admired him flat and

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_01]: he literally was like sharing stories from the Bible about defeat.

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't recall exactly which one or those of you but I know I'm like oh what is

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_01]: like he's talking like the Bible right now?

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Like this is this is interesting and I saw like how some of the players it was like

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_01]: whatever that's just what he does like kind of brushed him off you know and so it

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_01]: made an impact on me and and it's a flash forward.

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_01]: I remember kind of going to that youth group and started going there and stepping

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_01]: out and starting that relationship and there's a beautiful thing and then come

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I literally remember when I graduated high school so this was ironically I've never

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_01]: thought of the day I believe it was May 20th 2001 so that's gonna give everybody an idea

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_01]: how old this guy is a little gray my beard so I remember we had the graduation ceremony

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_01]: on my high school and I'm driving home so we were like 26 miles from school like we live

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_01]: in the country okay so I'm driving home in my 1992 forgranger this thing was a total

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_01]: chick magnet I'm telling you I had the subwoofer in the back I was like the epitome of

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_01]: cool in 2001 oh yeah and I don't know why I have you know my graduation you think I would

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_01]: go with family of friends I was just going home to like we had the reception at my house

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_01]: but I literally I don't know what came over me but I remember praying and it's not like prayer

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_01]: was new but this was a prayer like this was this wasn't just words this was like

[00:05:13] [SPEAKER_01]: God I and I and I I can't believe how emotional I got but I started thinking about

[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_01]: and I'm doing it now I don't know I don't know my camera is good enough you guys can see my eyes

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah like that's the area I know I did something fly and I don't know what it is but

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_01]: I literally remember thinking about Jesus dying on the cross and not like again not a new concept

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_01]: yep Jesus was murdered but the emotional part hit me of like the weight I hated that for me

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_01]: I was so grateful and I just started bawling so yeah I just graduated high school

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_01]: probably like a pinnacle of your life at the time you think you're like oh I'm going off to college

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna go be a carer branch and a doctor and I'm gonna just like just be like smash all my classes

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_01]: and you know be a great friend and all these people they all these things focused on me and then I

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_01]: realized that gift I had and I literally cried the entire way to my my parents house at the time where

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I was living obviously um I think I was just just you know as insane and still thinking about that

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_01]: moment which I haven't thought about probably a long time I realized at that point like there is something

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_01]: more real um in this faith journey even though you know it's baptized and I did for the record so

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_01]: if anybody's ever watching from the confirmation class back in the little Lutheran Church and on

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_01]: I know it's for a fact I got the highest score on the final final test and I'm just saying yeah

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Ann Carlson who may or may not be a real person take it because I got a 98 I'm pretty sure you've got a 90

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_02]: goodness oh man well I'm so curious like was it so you went through confirmation but it

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_02]: didn't become real until your friend invited you to youth camp or to the youth his youth group right?

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah I think this is a really start taking home was it because it was such like a significant moment in

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_02]: your life graduation or do you know where this came from or was it just like seeds planted

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_01]: throughout your high school yeah I would say like looking back I would say you know it was um

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_01]: it was like funny you know going through confirmation but there were confirmations along the way and

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_01]: and to me that was like and you know because faith is you know certainty and the things that we

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_01]: don't see and so big yeah how many times have we all prayed like hey I just I really like God can you

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_01]: just like slip me a note like give me a solid like send me a tax like do like something

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_01]: um but yeah when we look back I'm like oh man his hand was there the entire time you know those things

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_01]: like you just can't explain um to be at that moment I mean why was it why was an 18 year old boy

[00:08:12] [SPEAKER_01]: like bowling his eyes out at the thought of something that wasn't necessarily new yeah you know there's

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_03]: something different I think that gratitude is something that can really mark us as believers

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_03]: yes um I mean what you were sharing there just made me think of a moment that I had the other day

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_03]: that you know it's like another one of those days of being a mom of three little ones it was

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_03]: really hard but it just happened to have that moment with my oldest she's four where you guys

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_03]: think it was something so dumb it was like she um started to sneeze you know and you wind up

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_03]: like sneeze and it looks so funny it sounds funny and it just I just couldn't stop laughing

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_03]: and she's four and she has no idea why and we're just laughing for five minutes and in that moment

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_03]: I was so grateful yeah I was just so grateful that you know it wasn't about how that was funny

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_03]: it was just how it was just reminded that God gives us so many little things through our day

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_03]: he speaks to us in the silliest ways but that gratitude I think is something that can really

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_03]: mark us it is we go out and we connect with other people believers or non believers um that's

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_03]: something that we can we can really touch people's lives with yeah for sure so anyway back to

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_03]: kind of what happens from there yeah what yeah how where what turns did life take after

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_03]: you graduated high school you have that moment where God just really is that that salvation

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_03]: and his love for you is so real yeah where do things go from there yeah that was a beautiful

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_01]: question I wish I could say man it was it was basically like heaven on earth probably gates I was

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_01]: the perfect kid um all those things no I mean it did you know I'm grateful for a foundation

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_01]: then I could always return to one of straight off path for sure because like listen then

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_01]: in college it wasn't perfect like I remember like oh my gosh that's what alcohol does

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_01]: your system this is horrible like people do this like this is this is miserable and then you know

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_01]: weeks months later it was like finding yourself in the same scenario so I'm super grateful God

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_01]: kept me out of you know causing like massive massive damage to my life for anybody else's life

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_01]: in those times and that's kind of where I found myself in college there again a couple of

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_01]: coming back to the scene kind of in here like guys there's uh bow sheets was this name like I always

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_01]: remember people's names like when people say they're not good with names I'm like I'm good with

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_01]: names I'm trying to convince myself it is but bow sheets he was um in college we had FCC so

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_01]: fellowship of Christian athletes and bow was a stug receiver on the football team and so there again

[00:10:59] [SPEAKER_01]: like here I find somebody I respect athletically and yet is their faith that becomes the

[00:11:04] [SPEAKER_01]: best part about them so so we had a really good we go FCC hang out do those things and so

[00:11:12] [SPEAKER_01]: I remember freshman year I did a great group of friends right because you find the freshman

[00:11:16] [SPEAKER_01]: and I was said now it's like in in western Nebraska winter sucks like winter's winter

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_01]: and um I remember we got so much snow in one night to cancel school the next day we had the most

[00:11:29] [SPEAKER_01]: epic snowball fight it was amazing we had 23 inches in one night oh my gosh i was working as a

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_01]: cart pusher at Walmart and it was like maybe I built a snowman for work because basically I did that

[00:11:42] [SPEAKER_01]: but so anyway we come back to dorms it's crazy snowball fight the roads or icy people are pulling

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_01]: people and snowboards and skis up and down in front of the dorms he is just the most amazing

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_01]: amazing night and yet all this group were like oh let's go like you know snowboards just enjoy the

[00:11:58] [SPEAKER_01]: night we don't have school them whatever and I remember so Nick was the driver and a couple

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_01]: people got from my hometown and then her roommate Christina and then I was in the sea you know a couple

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_01]: like guys or whatever but like in class I got a little bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_01]: writing on somebody when it's like you can like you can't go sit a little bit and like you

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_01]: skid like that's what you do like we used to like whip cookies and and do all those things well

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Nick had done that just enough and it wasn't you know super dangerous in that time but

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_01]: all of a sudden from the back seat I hear Christina distinctly say hey Nick like you got to be careful

[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_01]: you like I don't want to die tonight because I don't know if I'll go to heaven whoa whoa and I was

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_01]: like I was like oh my like there must have been enough sincerity in her voice to take her

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_01]: serious looking back on that now and I was like oh hold on like these are one of those moments

[00:12:54] [SPEAKER_01]: like like to me because because we grew up is like that was a certainty like you accepted Jesus

[00:13:01] [SPEAKER_01]: you know and in that process and it wasn't this big long dissertation right you know we

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_01]: kind of grew up Midwest and there's prayer and truly having that in your heart and that

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_01]: transformation it and as you go and so I was like immediate they I'm like I've got to somehow

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_01]: talk to this girl like I don't and then but all the thoughts creep out like how many times

[00:13:23] [SPEAKER_01]: they're like that thoughts creeped and like all she can think I'm an idiot like uh if she's

[00:13:27] [SPEAKER_01]: trying to think I'm hitting on her or trying to date her and like and I'm like this is such a

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_01]: moment for me where I'm like it's too big of a moment to not do anything right in action isn't

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_01]: an option like so that's why I lay in it and I'm like in action is not an option of whatever she thinks

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_01]: is what she thinks I really just this is just just what I have to do yeah and I wish I could say there

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_01]: was more moments of like that along in my life because I'm sure I've missed more opportunities than

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_01]: I then I've taken but I remember going to her dorm room which is already like you think about

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_01]: like oh I really went to her like me it like grown up now as a married man and kids I'm like

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_01]: I just like why should I really went to her dorm room like I was all these things here but I was like

[00:14:09] [SPEAKER_01]: so yeah you know it was God is it had a better because you like I think about it all now and I'm

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_01]: like oh man that could have been interpreted so many different ways but at the end of the day praise God

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I remember saying hey Christina remember that seeing in the bronco that you said it just it bothered

[00:14:25] [SPEAKER_01]: and I just want to make sure do you want to make sure that no matter when you die and by the

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_01]: way it's not going to be tonight like that you're going to go to heaven because I'm I'm pretty sure

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_01]: like we got this like I would be more than happy to pray for you and you know something

[00:14:38] [SPEAKER_01]: on those lines and she was so excited it was like it was like a hey grab a seat on the couch

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_01]: right then prayed you know she was so aesthetic went back to her room looking back it was a beautiful

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_01]: and then as God would have it years later so this is probably 10 years later she ends up moving to

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Rochester Minnesota as a nurse so she goes to Rochester nurse at Mayo Clinic I was able to reconnect

[00:15:08] [SPEAKER_01]: with her and chat with her I was told Cairo school so this was like I said 18 plus years ago

[00:15:15] [SPEAKER_01]: probably 16 17 years ago anyway you got reconnect we had dinner and she thanked me for that

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_01]: she was like hey remember when and she went on she went on to like she's still like proclaims her

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_01]: face you could you could find her on Facebook and it'd be like man she's she loves Jesus

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_02]: and it's kind of a cool story for sure no kidding I love that yeah and what an open door

[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean just the the kindness of the Lord give you the this face to kind of have that conversation

[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_02]: probably for the first time right and to yeah probably such a such a willing receiver to I love

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_03]: I can imagine 20 year old kid though you're making pretty much a kid 20 years old

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_03]: that this comfort right like you were saying but you know how she's gonna proceed I think we

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_03]: even as adults we probably think that more than we really need to right like oh well

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_03]: okay God but like awkward and they might think this what if they do that it's like

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_03]: inaction I like we said inaction is not an option I think you need to take God that seriously

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_03]: every time yeah every time that he invites us opens that door for sure for sure okay so that was

[00:16:40] [SPEAKER_02]: your first time sharing your faith how about a story more recent what would you say as more

[00:16:46] [SPEAKER_01]: recent time where you've gotten to kind of take that step yeah so flash forward when I was

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_01]: finishing chiropractic school so this is you know the years later as we go through and getting married

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_01]: so this is this is a beautiful part I met this smoke and hot chick and I knew I'd never have a

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_01]: better opportunity to find a love with my life faster to marry so your wife and your family for the

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah so for the record in my phone she is still smoking out wife she always will be

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_01]: when they say like emergency contacts I'm forward to fill out and they'll say like it's all put

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_01]: you know her name her number and then they'll say relationship to you I post a lot of

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_01]: you out wife on emails like here's what I didn't realize like did you realize Gmail has it like

[00:17:29] [SPEAKER_01]: it lists her name as whatever you have it so like but when I'm doing my taxes and my accountant gives

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_01]: my emails and she's copied on my head he says I'm never changed it I never will I'm never

[00:17:41] [SPEAKER_01]: growing up like I said but so I get into her towards the end of chiropractic school I realized

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_01]: like her parents had been split up and kind of her dad out of the picture since she was like a

[00:17:55] [SPEAKER_01]: third grader so excuse me he really isn't in the picture a whole lot and he you know he was around

[00:18:01] [SPEAKER_01]: but let's just put it in perspective I met him four times so you'd think like through the process

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_01]: like you know he just was not around and this was a man that carried so much guilt he didn't

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_01]: want to be around because he was afraid his kids would be like him so you know you guys know

[00:18:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Olivia she's sweet art she's amazing her dad was her dad is an over the road truck driver

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_01]: drug addictions like head problems but yet his kids loved him and seeing all these things like

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_01]: it was unreal so I had met him one time kind of a family get together like there's barley okay

[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_01]: the second time I met him it was we thought he was dying because it was one night

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I get a phone call he's in the hospital and Wilmer this was there again kind of in the winter months

[00:18:52] [SPEAKER_01]: icy night and I remember okay kind of figure this before my kids figure out a game plan

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_01]: and Olivia we picked up her sister in Buffalo and we busted it over to Wilmer and there he was

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_01]: in you know and I drove um there he was in a hospital bed yelling at the nurses

[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_01]: angry bitter um and his is uh so if Olivia and her sister were very similar they come in they're like hey

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_01]: dad you know it's all a it's time yeah we love you how are you and just checking and just

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_01]: loving on it like this sweetest like it wasn't bitter at all you know and so he got up you know

[00:19:29] [SPEAKER_01]: we chat with he wasn't dying then okay praise God so as we're leaving um there's just like

[00:19:35] [SPEAKER_01]: hey dad you know love you all the things he's like I don't know why you guys came here anyway

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_01]: now that didn't set too well with me because not only had we kind of like risked our life driving

[00:19:44] [SPEAKER_01]: on the night they had like three times weren't great there's just like no appreciation for his family

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_01]: now I come and knew the history this is the second time I've met him ever okay now we're we're

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_01]: headed out out of the room uh Olivia goes first tiny goes next I'm the last one to leave the hospital room

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_01]: well I have to say something right I don't want to bust this guy's chops he's beat up already

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_01]: but I stop I let him go I don't walk back to the room and I said barley listen I know you

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_01]: know me from Adam all these things we haven't not had conversations but I want you to know

[00:20:16] [SPEAKER_01]: your daughters came here tonight because they love you yeah and you need to know that and I turn

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_01]: and I want and I remember him distinctly kind of looking out the window and his lower like he's

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_01]: quivering like you you get to tell he doesn't want to be like that right so that's the second time

[00:20:31] [SPEAKER_01]: the third time all of a sudden he was in the hospital again so this is a period of maybe so it's

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_01]: springtime so like four to five months later he happens to get transferred to the hospital and

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_01]: shock a demon is so that so from well we're to shock me why practice in Jordan okay shock me's 15 minutes

[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_01]: away early on in my career I'm not really seeing that many patients so also I realized I have some

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_01]: very time yeah so I told I think I had mentioned though they've asked like hey I'm gonna go visit

[00:21:00] [SPEAKER_01]: your dad in the hospital and on the way over I started getting that feeling again this

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_01]: he's feeling I remember from here in Christina in the back seat at that brown go and I was like

[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_01]: God I don't know why but I was like are you serious like barley like you want to talk to him like

[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_01]: he doesn't know I don't know like it's my father-in-law like all these things and

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_01]: as God works I'm going in the hospital I go into his room and he like think about like Willie

[00:21:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Nelson like the beard like like like he's just a scrapper and he says it's long like gray

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_01]: scraggly beard and he's got an oxygen mask on he's just complaining shocky right but he's

[00:21:44] [SPEAKER_01]: complaining about like this I was like barley hey what's going on this you know it's Jeff and

[00:21:48] [SPEAKER_01]: he's like I can't breathe was it blah blah last thing on and blah blah and I was like he's like

[00:21:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I need to shave my beard like I can't be his fit well guess what I actually would have been

[00:21:59] [SPEAKER_01]: quarter-quote to be taking care of two of the nurses were patients were type of

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_01]: patients that were working on the floor at the same time okay so as I barley I got this

[00:22:08] [SPEAKER_01]: so I walked out I asked for a razor I asked for a bowl of water and we're gonna shave him

[00:22:14] [SPEAKER_01]: like he's like you're gonna have to shave my beard don't cut my throat and I was like barley

[00:22:20] [SPEAKER_01]: wow this barley this is barley and so like in the back of my head I'm like already thinking okay

[00:22:26] [SPEAKER_01]: here I am shaving a grown man's beard which is kind of an intimate moment as you guys can imagine

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_01]: like this this to me literally looking back was kind of like a foot washing moment and I'm like

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna like and so I remember lathering him up and bowl of water it looked like the old plastic

[00:22:44] [SPEAKER_01]: bowler but has everything in just like the the the the the big like one blade razor like

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like he doesn't want me cut him like everybody gets cut with these things right

[00:22:52] [SPEAKER_01]: so I started shaving him and we get it to where his oxygen mask could fit better you know

[00:22:59] [SPEAKER_01]: and so super grateful for the nurses that I knew I didn't feel uncomfortable like I could get

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_01]: help he needed we got him shaved that's like okay this is pretty incredible so now I'm sitting there

[00:23:09] [SPEAKER_01]: and I'm like the whole time I'm like I want to know if you know what Jesus or not like I like

[00:23:15] [SPEAKER_01]: so I look over and I'm sitting there and barley is like don't you have something to do

[00:23:21] [SPEAKER_01]: and it's like yeah I do barley so I said hey you know last time I saw you you were in the hospital

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_01]: this time I'm seeing you you're in the hospital have you ever thought about what happens when you die

[00:23:40] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know you know I didn't want to bring it up right like you're trying to cross a

[00:23:46] [SPEAKER_01]: bridge where like each plank is a step and I'm like weighing that time for that yeah

[00:23:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I need I need I mean we need to be over this gap and he's like what do you mean

[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I was like what do you think happens to you he's like I don't want to talk about that

[00:24:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I go up you you know what I don't really either barley considering the circumstances I think we

[00:24:12] [SPEAKER_01]: probably at least should ask some questions and didn't really say anything so he kind of stone

[00:24:18] [SPEAKER_01]: will hold me right I wish I could say I knew what happened exactly next I remember saying this

[00:24:24] [SPEAKER_01]: barley can I at least pray for you yeah and he goes I'm not gonna pray out loud I go barley

[00:24:31] [SPEAKER_01]: that's fine with me like I literally just want to like be here for you this is up to you man

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_01]: like you're you're on the shorter end of time than I am by the looks of things and I go

[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_01]: can I just pray for you it's like fine and then you go I don't don't expect me to be one of

[00:24:47] [SPEAKER_01]: those people that praise like right before I cross the street and everything else go barley

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know like I just want to pray about yeah I'm like yeah yeah my head of my check move on

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_01]: so pray the sentence prayer with him I don't know I don't know what happened

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I like to say I don't what happened barley inevitably he passed away like a month later

[00:25:11] [SPEAKER_01]: he got out of the hospital which is good so my fourth time I received him was in the hospital visiting

[00:25:15] [SPEAKER_01]: again and then head of mass hard to hack one morning coming home from getting groceries and

[00:25:21] [SPEAKER_01]: riding the street so flash forward to his funeral you know and everybody knows barley

[00:25:26] [SPEAKER_01]: like everybody knew I was and all those things and I think I told my wife like hey babe

[00:25:33] [SPEAKER_01]: prayed with your dad it was just really it was bothering me I don't know you know same story I share

[00:25:39] [SPEAKER_01]: with you guys and I remember a family from Kimballman said over there from they came up to me at the funeral

[00:25:47] [SPEAKER_01]: and they you know they're believers in that faith and whatnot and brandy I think was

[00:25:54] [SPEAKER_01]: their name and she goes I heard you prayed with barley and I go oh yeah

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah I prayed with him and she was like oh my gosh that's me as like

[00:26:10] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah prayed I don't know you don't and I guess that's that's um and Deuteronomy says you know

[00:26:16] [SPEAKER_01]: that the things we got of God and you know there's gonna be some things on this side

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I haven't we don't know but I remember like you know it seemed like multiple people came up

[00:26:25] [SPEAKER_01]: and it didn't sit with me very good because I was like listen hey anyway I like so Olivia was

[00:26:30] [SPEAKER_01]: pregnant with Ben at our oldest like she had been hurt dad never got to meet Ben at

[00:26:37] [SPEAKER_01]: and I was like I felt really uncomfortable about the funeral in a lot of ways because multiple

[00:26:43] [SPEAKER_01]: people came up and it was just like hey you know I didn't do anything we shouldn't like

[00:26:48] [SPEAKER_01]: it's kind of like you know we all know a pastor says like if someone's like oh man I didn't go to

[00:26:53] [SPEAKER_01]: prison it's like any bragging about that you're not supposed to go to prison so like in that moment

[00:26:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I was kind of feeling like yeah I prayed with him but that's what we're supposed to do that's

[00:27:02] [SPEAKER_02]: supposed to yeah right like it's not yeah I'm not looking for a metal of honor yeah like like

[00:27:07] [SPEAKER_01]: like like like go on like show your specs and and that they just didn't sit with me you know that

[00:27:14] [SPEAKER_02]: great so but I'm curious was it was it barley that told all these people because it was just

[00:27:21] [SPEAKER_02]: you and him in the room so the only way they'd know is if he told them which is yeah yeah

[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_02]: like especially I'm thinking of that the couple you said was a Christian um I wonder if he's like oh

[00:27:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I have a Christian friend I'm gonna tell them that Jeff prayed with me maybe like or maybe

[00:27:40] [SPEAKER_01]: it got through because like Kim was a super small town so he may be told other family members and family

[00:27:45] [SPEAKER_01]: members might have said I really don't know to this day but he was weird like she came out and I was like

[00:27:52] [SPEAKER_03]: I got it yeah I did clearly there was something meaningful about it right that you stepped out

[00:27:58] [SPEAKER_03]: in obedience to say okay God this is so uncomfortable but you're clearly prompting me to

[00:28:05] [SPEAKER_03]: I mean you served him the first thing you did was you served him you met yeah such a practical need

[00:28:10] [SPEAKER_03]: and I wonder if that's partially why like open the praying with him yeah was was as meaningful

[00:28:19] [SPEAKER_03]: as it sounds like it was yeah because he met that need and you know and he's so vulnerable

[00:28:25] [SPEAKER_03]: in that moment he doesn't know you but you're the man who's you know gonna marry his daughter there's

[00:28:30] [SPEAKER_03]: so many things about that that I can imagine he was feeling kind of vulnerable and and

[00:28:37] [SPEAKER_03]: you humbled yourself so much as to just just pray with him and say hey yeah there's a lot of layers

[00:28:44] [SPEAKER_01]: there's a lot of layers a lot of questions and I think when we look at that how important is that

[00:28:49] [SPEAKER_01]: when people say love is an action yeah you know or or my mom would say and it's been said before

[00:28:56] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure she didn't come up with it but it's like your life is the only Bible some people will ever

[00:29:00] [SPEAKER_01]: read you know when when you walk into those things and just even doing this conversation with

[00:29:06] [SPEAKER_01]: you ladies is like saying man like how do you well you know we always have like got open some

[00:29:11] [SPEAKER_01]: doors like how do you open doors like get off your butt and do something you know in a lot of

[00:29:16] [SPEAKER_01]: those ways so yeah there's definitely layers to it and then isn't an option yeah an action is not

[00:29:22] [SPEAKER_02]: not for sure I just hope to for anybody listening like I would love us all to have that same

[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_02]: mentality of like this this isn't special I mean it's so it's but it's like this is what

[00:29:37] [SPEAKER_02]: we were designed to do this is what we all should be doing as we're going through outer life you

[00:29:44] [SPEAKER_02]: know God prompted you to have that pair of them you were uncomfortable he was uncomfortable and

[00:29:49] [SPEAKER_02]: you followed him in obedience like let that be my mentality that that's just the way it's supposed to

[00:29:58] [SPEAKER_01]: be yeah well I mean you guys are doing the podcast and I mean that that part of it and like I said

[00:30:03] [SPEAKER_01]: wish you know I'm sure there's a way way more times I've missed the opportunity than I have

[00:30:09] [SPEAKER_01]: similar like Michael Jordan says he's like I've missed more shots than I've ever made and the best

[00:30:16] [SPEAKER_01]: part is it's not about us right that's the end of the day we get a plant seeds and God gets to make him

[00:30:23] [SPEAKER_01]: grow or not thank God yeah thanks wait is right for sure so that's a beautiful reminder

[00:30:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm excited to dig in more to kind of life now as a chiropractor and get him to be a leader

[00:30:39] [SPEAKER_02]: and your family and in your workspace so we're going to get into that in part two everyone tune in next week

[00:30:47] [SPEAKER_02]: thank you for listening to the ask but my faith podcast we love your support and continuing to bring

[00:30:52] [SPEAKER_02]: encouraging and inspiring stories please subscribe, rate and review wherever you're listening

[00:30:58] [SPEAKER_02]: and you can learn more about us and donate at askbutmyfade.com that's what I'm talking about

[00:31:03] [SPEAKER_02]: that's what I'm talking about and share your faith